Skye Starlight

Just a little tale of what happened to me in class today... Firstly, to ensure this makes sense, I must tell you something: I have a minor crush on the lead singer of Area 11. His stage name is Sparkles* and my best friend knows I like him. Which is what caused this amusing situation. So for a senior project kind of thing, for my home economics class, we each make a patch and it gets stitched together into a quilt-like thing. So, I go about drawing a few things on mine before using glitter glue and making it pretty! Me and my best friend start conversing. Friend: Your patch is so pretty! I really like the glitter! Me: Well, you know how much I love sparkles! Friend: Heh, yeah... A few minutes later, I'm nearly finished, and I notice just how much of a mess I made with the glitter. This followed: Me: *absentmindedly* I have sparkles all over me... Friend: W-What? Me: I have sparkles... Oh... Friend: You'd like that wouldn't you? Me: Um, yeah? *Both of us burst out laughing* Friend: I can't believe you just said that, especially after you pointed out how much you love sparkles! Me: I know... Best lesson ever. I finished my patch too. It looks awesome! I might get a pic at some point and post it here!

Except for the weekend. That's going to be awesome. So, tomorrow is the QCS test. Stands for Queensland Core Skills test. It tests our intellectual skills like analysing, evaluating, creating, understanding... And it's hard. It doesn't affect our grades though. No, it only pits us against every other student in the state to help rank the schools. Which helps rank us at the end of the day. So, after this, our grades, along with our subject's ranking in comparison to others and our school's ranking against the state determines our OP. The better your OP, the more likely you are to get into the uni course of your choice. So, obviously, we need to do our best. They put a lot of pressure on this test, generally causing a lot of chaotic stress in the entire cohort of grade 12's across Queensland. It also doesn't help that we sit it in the middle of assessment season. I have 4 pieces of assessment to do right now, and I have to worry about this test too! And today, the result of this stress has become more evident. My grades are slipping across the board. The maths exam I took last week netted me a C-. My English exam, which I thought I'd aced, brought me a D+ (barely!), and my Home Economics project was the same... And anything less than a C- is a failing mark. Of course, they average out our marks at the end of semester for each criteria, leaving us with a 3 mark set. I cannot get more than 1 D+ criteria per subject, else I fail. So now I must work even harder, and there's even more stress... This is getting out of control... So... G'night from a Queensland student. I gotta turn in early and get my rest...

Dazzle, Floss or Cream... I'd name her one of those names...

I'd stare at it and wonder what it is...

A curious past few days I've had. It was great, but I still don't fully understand why... Maybe I should start at the beginning of it all. I was on YouTube, chilling, watching the Yogscast. I posted a witty comment on one Yogscast Kim's videos. This one: She responded. Cue minor freakout/squeeing/fangirling/WHATEVER. I haven't replied, for fear of sounding like just another fan who's overreacting to her. So I've kept quiet. But I was grinning like a madman all night and into the next day. Which was yesterday. I got some stuff done yesterday and today. Odd, I'm not normally this productive. Well, maybe I'm just filled with positive energy from Kim... And the dream I had. Another dream. About the Yogscast, except not. This time, it was Sparkles*. Only Sparkles*. So, this was a timeskip dream, as I like to call them. It takes place over a long period of time, but I only get snippets. First, Kindergarten. I was being bullied and excluded by all the other kids, and Sparkles* stood up for me. Then, in primary school, Sparkles* and I were talking and smiling and laughing as friends... Lastly, high school, and I'm leaning against Sparkles*, his arms wrapped around me... And then I woke up... Yes, this does kind of reveal my minor crush on the ginger musician. And no, I'm not ashamed. I love Area 11 like my younger cousin loves One Direction. And she loves One Direction, to the point of obsession. And yes, I may be slightly obsessed with Area 11. Not a problem. No... Well, maybe a problem. I have their songs stuck in my head every waking moment. Not that I mind. Go FAP, Shi No Barado, Cassandra pt 2... I've learnt the lyrics to them now. I sing them when I'm alone. Oh yeah, that's the only bad thing in my life right now. My lack of self-confidence. Learning to drive is hard when you're worried you're going to hit everything. I can't sing in public without being acutely aware of who and what is around me. I don't trust my instincts as much as I used to. I feel like a dulled blade, and yet somehow I've been more productive lately. Everything says that I'm able to do it, but just because I'm able doesn't mean I'm ready. That's an interesting revelation I've had. I don't need someone to tell me I can do it. I believe them, I know I can. But maybe what I need is someone to step back, make me feel comfortable being who I am. Maybe I can do that at the party I'm going to in a week! My best friend IRL is turning 17 and is having a party! She knows EVERYTHING! Except the guys I'm crushing on. All 4, if you include Sparkles* and Lalna (Yes, I'm a fan of the adorkable scientist, don't judge!)... Yes, that leaves 2 IRL, which I'm totally fine not talking to. Seriously, my self-confidence needs a boost... But then, would I still be me?

I just got back from shopping. Not that I bought anything. The only thing we got was another book from the cherub series from my younger brother. We were supposed to be getting new shoes, but all the shoe stores were closed. For added annoyance, I was in the middle of watching an episode of Tengen Toppa Gurren Langa, when I wasn't so much asked as ordered to go shopping. I ranted about my name a bit. I guess I can tell you my IRL name, because it's so common... Seriously... I happened to be named Stephanie, which is the traditional Australian way of spelling it. And it's way to common. Like, I've always known at least one person with the same name as me, often more. Famous gamers that share my name: Kaeyi Dream Hex -of the Australian gaming news and review show Good Game And then there's always at least someone IRL who shares my name too. But then there was the only bit of the journey I liked. Well, sort of. We went and got my brother's book, and my mom asked me if I wanted one, so I took a quick look and... Oh, hello there John Green's books! Except... The Fault in our Stars was sold out! I was tempted to pick up Looking for Alaska, but decided against it. I wanted TFioS, and I couldn't have it. But I guess that means that it's selling well here, and that's good news. I also mentioned that Pokemon X and Y are coming out in short time, and that I still haven't got a birthday present. From anyone I know IRL. At all. And I ranted a bit. I really didn't like being whisked away on a pointless trip, especially in the middle of something! But I guess you all know a bit more about me! Now any stalkers can try to find me. Good luck, there's about a million people on Facebook that share my name, and you don't even know my last name! Actually, that reminds me, my friends had a contest to see who could find me on Facebook first, and they literally spent a week looking for me before I had to start giving them clues! Because I was too lazy to add them myself. They did find me after I dropped them some bigger hints, but it still took them ages!

I had some today. Because my mom had to work and my brother decided he wasn't going to disturb me. I've been on my computer 9 hours now. Mostly watching YouTube videos. Now my mom is home and is yelling at us for not doing the chores she think we should do automatically. Every weekend. Without messing up once. Despite the fact that we've only ever done all our chores once. She complains, every time. This is, in part, because she's stressed with work, because she cooks, because she puts on the washing, almost every night. Almost. Because sometimes she works late and we have to fend for ourselves. My mom, she has no hobby, nor a goal she's aiming for. She's stuck in a rut and doesn't know why. She complains about life and does hardly anything about it. She'll talk to her boss if she has a major issue, but she's always complaining about how, "The boss has no idea what she's doing." And she drags that stress with her, into my life. And I've got other things to worry about! Like, passing my subjects in school! Which reminds me of the fact that my younger brother, whom I have to share a room with, is a total show-off when it comes to schoolwork. And the worst part in all of this is that I can't really escape. When I'm in contact with them, it's normally night. Which I won't go out during for my mortal safety, unless there's a party going on only a block or two away. That I've been invited to, and where there's not going to be alcohol, 'cause my mom won't let me go. You know, high-school parties almost always have alcohol. So I rarely get to go to parties. Not that I mind. I'm not a big fan of most kids at school. Why would I be, they're all loud, they love to gossip, and I just don't feel comfortable around them. There are a few, who are less rebellious and so much kinder, my friends. Though, everyone of my fellow students has realized that I do, in fact, need space and have learned to respect this. And sometimes, I'll show that I'm don't mind being around others sometimes. That's the thing, when I want to be alone, it's better to leave me alone, but when I'm not wanting to be a total loner, I'm more likely to talk to you if you have learnt my rules of personal space... I haven't had a hug from a person IRL in a while though. I'm not yet comfortable with my new friends to do that yet though. I probably never will be, and that's alright with me. It's the only downside to changing schools, compared to only losing one or two friends at any one time when you stay at the same school, you lose all of them. At once... What's worse is that I couldn't contact them because I had no internet... So, I've now lost all my old friends and have new ones who still don't fully understand my peculiarity. But I'd never expect them to! But, back to my time alone issues... I don't exactly have a place to get away from my mom and younger brother. I've just had to put up with it. And deal with the strain it's put on me. Like I'm not under enough stress already. It's fine, everything is just fine... I'm just a little bit tired of it all. At least I have my 3 km walk to and from school! When I'm normally, but not always, alone. I have a friend I sometimes walk home with, and she's the only one I've told all my secrets to. Well, almost. She doesn't know who I'm crushing on. She knows I'm a brony, that I have over 100 people I'm subscribed to on YouTube, that I adore the Yogscast, that I play Pokemon and Zelda... She's the only person I feel I can trust at this time. She's my Best Friend. And it's sad that I can't trust people in my life, especially family. But that's enough sad, sappy, sentimental stuff. I have YouTube to watch!

There's a fair amount to see here... It'll only take you a few months, if not years to see it all. The beauty of this country is really underrated, partly because of the whole "Danger everywhere" Thing... Well, there is danger everywhere, it's just not as severe as we make it out to be. We like to scare tourists, it's funny!

I don't exactly enjoy being in a humid and hot area either. Between the tropics is basically also off limits. I'm close enough as is. I can just visit the cold places when it's summer there anyway. I think it would be quite comfortable for me in the UK around now. Or somewhere else like that. I just don't like being too cold, so I'm keeping clear of places that are too cold normally.

My plans! Oh my gosh! You guys need to know my plans! I need to tell you! Why? I don't know... Well, firstly, I'm going to be graduating from high school in November, which will be awesome. To those not familiar with the school system in Australia, we graduate in November, Queensland a week before everyone else. Most people then go to "Schoolies" something I'm not going to. It's essentially a massive party. Also, don't go to any popular holiday destinations during this time, there will be teenagers everywhere. Me? I'm going to gather all my stuff and head to my dad's place in Brisbane. Move away from my mum and younger brother and have a room of my own. Then, I'm going to get a part-time job, and go to University. What am I going to do there? I'm going to major in Games Design. Yes, you read that right! I'm going into the gaming industry! It's one of the few industries which requires a combination of skill, creativity and logic, a balance which not everyone has. And for some reason, I do. Maybe this was destiny! And then I'm going to get a job in games design. If I can. Which isn't guaranteed. I might get a job with Halfbrick Studios! You know, the people who made Fruit Ninja? Yeah, them! That will let me stay in Queensland! But then again, there are some awesome overseas companies too... Places I'd love to go but will never be able to live: UK Canada Most of Europe Melbourne, Canberra, Hobart, Adelaide, Perth... Anywhere it snows or gets so cold water starts freezing. I'm a Queenslander! I hate the cold! I mean, the Yogscast (situated in Bristol, England) were complaining of the heat, and it was only 30 degrees Celsius. I'm sitting here, it's supposed to be winter, and it's predicted to be only 4 degrees colder during the heat of the day. Also, it's only getting down to 13 degrees at night, which I think is cold enough. I sleep under a small pile of blankets! I don't think I'd manage if that's what they think is hot. I'd hate to be there when they think it's cold! Also, Queensland is really, really vibrant. Naturally. Like, coral reefs, bright green leaves, jade seas, bright blue skies, shining sandy shores... I don't think I'd be able to live without it! It's beautiful! Yes, I know there's a lot of deadly things here, but that just adds to the beauty! I've seen spiders and snakes, sharks and jellyfish. It's not the safest place to live, but I don't think I'd be able to give it up. And I was thinking of giving it up too... I've already seen Sydney, the Gold Coast, the Great Barrier Reef, the Whitsundays, the Sunshine Coast and so much more... I have some things left to see (Uluru, Eighty Mile beach, A lot of stuff out west) but I've never gone outside Australia. I've never seen New York, London, LA, Paris, Hong Kong, Tokyo, or any other amazing cities. I've never even seen snow, even though that does occur in parts of Australia. I'm not sure I want to ever see snow. But I now realize just how much I love coastal Queensland's climate. Warm and slightly humid. Rainy during summer and dry during winter. Minimal temperature variation between the seasons. It's just perfect for me. So, uh, yeah. I'm not leaving. I'm too used to the temperatures. Is there anywhere else like this though? Probably, but not where my family lives. My family all live here, and so I will too... I'll just travel a bit... Maybe to PAX prime! And Bronycon! They don't occur during winter! Oh, how I'd hate it if they were in winter. Why I'm probably never gonna go to PAX Aus. Melbourne in winter, no way I'm going anywhere near there at that time! Maybe... I might... I'd just have to be in a couple layers of clothing. Like 5. 5 is a good number. On the other had, Supanova, an Australian pop culture expo that travels to a couple of the cities, including Brisbane, I will be going to eventually! Apparently, the one in Brisbane is the biggest. That's going to be interesting. I'm not much of a people person. So, uh, yeah. That's my plans for the future, including things I'm not going to do. Wow. This is a long blog entry... TL;DR I'm going graduate, move to Brisbane, study Games Design and not live anywhere cold, ever. Possibly. I hate the cold. Australia is too beautiful to give up living in anyway. However, I will travel! Hopefully! And I may see you at a Bronycon, or PAX Prime, or Supanova in Brisbane! In a few years! Cause it might take that long... I feel awesome now! Skye Starlight

That title sounds like the title of a really bad movie... So, let's get this icky stuff out of the way first... It's apparent that my attempts to create peace didn't work out so well... Maybe once I get my formal dress (something my mom is apparently stressing about) things will get better. Can't wait till the end of the year though! I graduate in November (I am Australian!) and so, I will be setting off for greener pastures! Aka, my dad's apartment in Brisbane. And I'll have to deal with a whole new set of stresses. Like going to Uni! Note: Will document what I'm planning to do at Uni soon! Well, I guess some things are only quick fixes. People will always have stresses in their lives, and when one goes away, another replaces it. I do hope she realizes that her stress isn't just stemming from outside sources, but from her holding onto it. It would make my life so much easier. In other news, I'm going to be watching Anime most of the weekend! Like, the stuff that I've heard loads about but never watched because I've never found the time... This isn't going to be a one-weekend job either. My list so far: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Death Note Code Gaess I do remember watching some stuff from Naruto when I was younger, and I'm wondering if it would be worth it to go back. Also, are there anymore Anime series that any of you would suggest?

Life,illogical at the best of times, down right confusing at the worst. Also, I've taken it upon myself to do more chores around the house, and try and say "Thank you" more often, along with "Please" Why? Because my mom doesn't think my brother and I show her enough respect. Because she's sick of us not doing the chores. Because she's been really stressed with work, and my brother and I aren't making her life any easier. Because her stress is stressing me out. So, by doing more work, I'm decreasing the stress and frustration in my household. It's peaceful, finally. My younger brother doesn't seem as demanding lately either... He's bored though. Another thing, we're a family of introverts, with the exception of my mom who is an extrovert. We don't tend to do much together anymore... I remember, we used to play Mario Kart Wii... I'd almost always win. My mom wasn't very good, so we'd tend to get on an even playing field in Wii Sport, when we'd play bowling. I kept my cool, whilst my mom and younger brother laughed. Kinda how I managed a couple strikes in a row once. But that was only once or twice a year. I think we need to do it more often. Also, my mom was at least tipsy when we did these things. She'd wobble a bit, slur occasionally, but nothing too bad. She was never blind-drunk. It think it helped her have fun coming in last in Mario Kart. Me and my brother never touched her wine, cause we knew we had a better chance sober. Oh, the memories... But things haven't been the same lately. My mom and brother have had trigger-hair tempers, and I've noticed a shift that way in myself as well. Which is why I decided to change things. Which is why I decided to step out and take on that extra bit of responsibility. I think this may be attributed to a growing sense of maturity in me. Also, a lot is going on in my life right now, so expect more blogs from me really, really soon! Happily a friend Skye Starlight

No worries. Also, I'm down to the last rabbit. I just need to find it, catch it, and bring it to the creepy rabbit dude. Then I get sword beams!

Yeah... Not getting involved really helped. I can't wait until the end of the year! I graduate, so I can leave my mom and younger brother behind. I don't want to ever come back...

I don't normally blog more than once a day, but this one's much more upbeat and random... It's also completely off topic from my other one. Okay, I think I've been watching way too much Yogscast lately. I've had 5 dreams about them in the past 2 weeks. That's all the dreams I've had in that space of time. The first, I was commander of a squadron, and we were killing stuff in a mountain fortress, and then there was a nuke, and an avalanche... And then Duncan and I dug out Lewis, Simon apparently dug himself out, and Hannah... She was a plant... Which confused my brain enough to wake me up. I thought nothing of it. Laughing at the fact that Hannah was a plant. Then the next one came... I don't remember much, just that it had something to do with the Yogscast. Then the third one. Duncan and I went camping. Like, normal, realistic camping. The fourth one was Sjin and Rythian in a maze made by Duncan. The words, "We have to work together" was all I heard. The fifth? Everyone was in a murder mystery. Which is strange because I don't really like murder mysteries. But apparently Lewis, Rythian and Sjin had been killed and everyone was panicking. I remember Hannah screaming... That's about it. Oh, and Duncan and Simon were there too... I'm beginning to think I've gone insane with this. What's probably craziest. None had Zoey in them, and all had Duncan. Zoey is my favorite though, with Duncan being second to her. To have these 2 at opposite ends of the spectrum, it seems odd...

My mum... She just raged at my younger brother... She was saying things about how we kids don't respect her, and that "she has to do everything" She doesn't do everything. She expects so much of me and my brother. We're teenagers! We're in that stage where we won't do everything we're told but we're not quite responsible enough to do what we need to. I think the stress of work is really getting to her. She wasn't like this before we moved, before she got this job. Well, I got up and headed to my bedroom door, ready to jump in and defend my brother and I. I touched the door handle when a thought occurred to me. By going out there, you'd just be getting involved in another argument, and things won't get better. So I stopped, whispered to myself, "Don't get involved girl." And sat back down. I don't even know if she knows I heard her. Well, she does now, because I just responded to her Facebook message. But it was just that moment, when my conscious mind cleared enough to realize how bad an idea it would be to get involved in that argument. That second in which I chose patience, instead of standing for what I felt was right. It would have been easy to start yelling. I get so riled up when people don't do the right thing by me. This morning, my brother thought I was yelling. I was speaking a little loud, but I was a little riled up because I had been respectfully waiting for him to wake up so that I wouldn't disturb him whilst on the computer, and once he gets up, he nearly jumps straight on. I turned it on, knowing it wouldn't make much noise and that he would awaken soon, only for him to take my kindness and not respect me. What doesn't help is that I'm starting to feel like my mom doesn't respect me either. I'm in my final and most important year of school and she's treating me exactly like my younger brother. She doesn't mind me staying up a little late doing school-work, but when I can't go to parties because she doesn't want me drinking, despite me not being interested in alcohol at all, I can't help but feel a little annoyed. Oh, and I'm not left with much food or drink (other than water) because my younger brother eats and drinks everything we have in the house. And you'd wonder why I'm so skinny, and feeling ill! I get dinner and that's it on some days, but my mom wants to go on strike and not cook meals for my brother and I. We'd have to do everything ourselves, which I think is quite unreasonable seeing as I'm already stressed out with school! If anyone ever wonders what the best time of the day is for me, it's the walks to and from school. 6 km round trip! Takes me 40 minutes each way. And I love every second of it! It's also another reason I'm quite skinny. Oh, what do I have to do to remove all this unnecessary stress? Oh well, I've just decided to not get involved in someone else' argument. If I didn't start it and it's not directed at me, it's not my fight.

Spirit Tracks... I actually mentioned it was the game before...

Well, hello! And hello to all you're, uh, friends... I'm the girl you won't see round much... I'm posting on my blog mostly. Oh, but I'm here. I lurk a lot...

So, I hate all the stresses in my life. Particularly, the ones which really shouldn't be there... Like my family, not allowing me space for myself, pressuring me to get high marks in school, not letting me be me... No, seriously. I can't sing without being yelled at, I can't proudly show my drawings (which I've been getting better and better at) without being shot down. Maybe if they weren't so negative I might be doing better! I'd have a better mindset- Full of determination and enthusiam for my schoolwork, rather than unmotivated and ashamed. I know I could be worse off. One of my friend's mother tried to kill her as a baby. She now has to do most of the chores around her house and doesn't have a mother to support her. I have two loving parents who are on good enough terms to ship me back and forth between them for holidays. My life seems so blessed, but I still wish I had a different family. Why? Because my brother doesn't care about me at all. My mum has been dumping her stress on me. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. I have senior year to deal with. I need to get a prom dress and work on my schoolwork. I didn't even know what I was going to do at the start of the year! I'm so stressed, I've had to find ways to destress before it gets too much! Drawing helps, singing helps... I need to have fun to destress. But, remember, my family won't let me do that... Look, there's my problem! I just need to have fun, but I'm kept back by my family! Well... I shouldn't say that... It's not entirely true. But I do need to find a place away from my family to relax, and I don't have that luxury. So, how did this all just help me? As normal, I came home from school... Well, I say that, but today was the first day of practice tests for possibly the most important set of tests any Queensland student has to take, QCS. It not only affects me, but my classes and my entire school. And it's taken so seriously. They tried to pressure us to "do our best" but many, many students can't because the stress drained them. Apparently, once, one of the brightest students in the year level threw up multiple times just from stress. Me? I just treated it like any other exam, and with the fact that it was a practice, I kept my calm and did my best. I don't do well under pressure, but I do try. So I felt quite happy with how I went, figuring out that I need to be relaxed. I'm going to translate that to my schoolwork now... Well, we finished earlier than school normally would, and they sent us all home. So I got home and got to spend a good hour alone. Being one of the few moments of privacy I'll ever get, I sang. Oh, how amazing it was to sing! And then I hopped on my computer and watched YouTube for half an hour... And then my younger brother got home, and he just started irritating me. He demanded to know when he was going to be able to get on. And then my mother got home, and her boyfriend. It's not awkward because I'm not interested in having a relationship at the moment, and she's happier with him around... Normally... Except, lately that's been causing her more stress... Which she's been dumping on me... So what do I do? I decide I'm going to play Spirit Tracks... You know, the thing that was distracting me not long ago? Having finished it once, I jumped into a new game a few weeks ago... And promptly found myself not brave enough to get past a certain point... Until now... I used that stress and frustration and turned it into determination. And I did it. Now, to get the last 3 rabbits and defeat the boss... No, seriously, that's where I'm up to! Note: I am really, really scared in every-day life... Afraid of so many things, I appear outwardly serious and detached. However, if you manage to strike up a conversation with about something I'm interested in, you'll find a much brighter, carefree center. This center is what many of you would have seen of me. I drop the act online. You guys have seen the real me, and I'm comfortable here. I don't think I'm ever going to leave because I feel so much better here than I do anywhere IRL. Except maybe chilling in a park on a sunny spring day drawing. It's my thing. Ah, how the joys of life can be...