Any +20/25/30 who lacks of lovelife here?

[GGG 176]

the trick is in accepting it, just like me, i accepted i will never be able to be with another person for longs amounts of time AND LOOK AT ME NOW...

 

ok that was a bad example.

 

you gotta let these things happen slowly man, i remember i had a girl who had a crush on me (she wasnt my type tho) and i didint even tried to get her, i mean if i actually was up for relations she would have been instantly my girlfriend, so yeah, jsut wait for the right person, but if the right person comes make sure you also make a move.

 

also important thing, DONT GET A GIRL/BOYFRIEND just because of social pressure, if you simply dont like being with a person for too long just accept it and live your life, dont let others make you think you have to get a mate.

Edited July 7, 2014 by twistedmetalero

[lincolnshirepony 527]

I was in a relationship for almost two years, but like many high schools relationships, it failed during my first year of college. I took that pretty hard, because like many love-struck teenagers, I didn't want it to end. Never mind that I knew we weren't good for each other ultimately, even during the last weeks of our relationship when I was desperately trying to save it. 

 

Now, I'm single and no prospects in sight, which sucks but is probably for the best, because I'm still trying to get over my break-up and I don't think it would be fair to drag that kind of baggage into a new relationship. Granted, I'm doing a lot better than I was four months ago. I'm not too worried for now, since I'm in college and there are plenty of opportunities for dating once I get back to school. I also acknowledge that it's very possible that I'm not ready for the person that I'm right for. I might not have the interests that will bond us together yet, or I might not be mature enough yet. I'll remain optimistic. 

[GeneralDirection 977]

I'm not 100% sure if I qualify for this thread, after all, I have a very serious relationship with my cute special somepony with the rainbow mane.

 

Ah, who am I kidding? That don't count at all. :3 Anyway, I just turned 21 a couple weeks ago. I had a ton of female friends throughout high school, but nothing ever went beyond being friends. A few of them still are good friends of mine, and to be honest I value that more than anything else. I did have some girl I barely knew ask me out when I was 13...didn't take that very seriously due to how young I was and how I didn't really know her. I remember that before I finished high school it really bothered me that I hadn't got anymore from a girl than a hug. (It was a nice hug, though ) Oddly enough, one day, I woke up, and simply didn't care anymore. That's literally all there was to it. I'm not going to say no if a girl I knew asked me on a date, but I wasn't going to go out of my way to have or be worried about not having a girlfriend. Personally, I don't really want to be tied down to a relationship at this point in my life and I'll be perfectly happy if that never changes. It's going to take a pretty special girl to replace Dashie, so I'm fine with waiting in the meantime. :3

 

On a bit more of a practical note, my occupation is full of old people. No young woman to be found in this field at all. (Or young guys, now that I think about it...) Aside from this forum, the only other social interaction I have is with the friends I have at church. But again, no girls there that aren't married or just about to be. I see some people here have had great success finding their special somponies, and good for them. Maybe I'll find one here too. At the moment I'm more interested in starting my career, getting out on my own, and work on creating that life I'll need to share with my wife if I ever have one.

 

In regards to the people who have posted in this thread not having so much luck, let me share a few things with you. The only reason I had so many friends of the opposite gender in high school was because said people needed help, and I was able to help them. Then conversation just naturally progressed from there, and we found things we had in common. ^.^ Don't be discouraged if you haven't found a girl/boyfriend yet, as you can see from this thread there are many others that are in the same boat as you. Go find out what you like to do if you haven't already, and focus on that instead. To me, having a relationship brings a lot of (unwanted) responsibility, emotional baggage, and that terrible thought of getting married/having kids. What an awful thought that is. I hope my wall of text composed of my personal experiences can help somebody in some way. Every moment is a choice, and every choice has its prices and benefits.

[Planty 1,052]

Wow, thought I would come back here (mainly to read other stories but anyways).

 

Had the worse dreams ever last night, was like re living every girl I ever thought I had a chance in a relationship with and screwing it up all over again. Not woken up this depressed in a long while ><

[Scootaloodle 1,621]

I know the feeling:

 

I’m 26, and although I’ve had two girlfriends in the past they were a very long time ago: and the only recent relationships have been online ones which were all long distance, and unlikely to go further than Skype.

 

I’d like to have a girlfriend, and somebody to be with who loves me and wants to spend time with me and vice versa but I’m shy, and have a not so great social life so that’s not going to happen in the near future it seems

[Brony Number 42 10,044]

I don't understand the guys who have had girlfriends in the past, but they haven't had one in a couple years, but they think that they are in the same boat as the guys who have never had a girlfriend. If you have ever had a girlfriend, even if it was 20 years ago, it is not the same as the guy who has never had a girlfriend. Come on!

 

That's like saying, "Yeah, dude, I know exactly how you feel. I haven't been laid in two weeks. Oh it's so horrible!"

[RainbowMau 291]

I don't understand the guys who have had girlfriends in the past, but they haven't had one in a couple years, but they think that they are in the same boat as the guys who have never had a girlfriend. If you have ever had a girlfriend, even if it was 20 years ago, it is not the same as the guy who has never had a girlfriend. Come on!

 

That's like saying, "Yeah, dude, I know exactly how you feel. I haven't been laid in two weeks. Oh it's so horrible!"

 

Thank you! Finally someone who agrees with me! At least they already had the experience, for me they should consider themselves lucky because of that! I'm one of those who never had one and I wish I had at least a girlfriend and better when I was young, they say they just had their bf/gf for just two months, I'd give an arm for a five-minute relationship!

Edited July 7, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Brony Number 42 10,044]

I also have to disagree with the people who talk about how it doesn't matter when you find a mate; whether it's when you are young or old. This is not true. Having a bf/gf when you are in your teens is different than when you're in your 20s, different from 30s, and so on.

 

When you are young, the relationship doesn't matter. You can afford to date a good looking person who you don't have anything in common with. You get to enjoy a young, attractive girl/boy and you don't have to think about whether it makes sense or if it will last.

 

As you get older, your gf/bf will have more baggage. People get more serious about getting married and having kids. You can't be 35 and expect to have the same kind of sex-filled, no consequences relationship that a 20 year old would have. Being 40 and losing your virginity with some other person who has already had sex with twenty other people is a much different experience than being a naive teenager discovering sex for the first time. At least, I can only presume what sex is like, having never had it.

 

The inescapable fact is that you have missed out on something, and you can never experience it. Face facts guys, a 35 year old woman is just not as attractive as a 20 year old woman, all else being equal. And if a woman is 35 and still single, there is a reason. She is either fat and ugly, or she has kids. You can't live in this fantasy that you will find some beautiful, intelligent woman who has never been with a man before, but she falls deeply in love with your pathetic, sorry ass. So you have to decide if you want to settle for some fat woman or a woman who is divorced with kids.

 

I would never date a woman with kids. There is no way I'm going to take care of someone else's kids. I also could not date a woman who has been divorced, or even been in a long relationship. I just couldn't get over the idea that she had some relationship with some other guy. I would feel like second place. I made the logical choice and gave up years ago.

[RainbowMau 291]

I also have to disagree with the people who talk about how it doesn't matter when you find a mate; whether it's when you are young or old. This is not true. Having a bf/gf when you are in your teens is different than when you're in your 20s, different from 30s, and so on.

 

When you are young, the relationship doesn't matter. You can afford to date a good looking person who you don't have anything in common with. You get to enjoy a young, attractive girl/boy and you don't have to think about whether it makes sense or if it will last.

 

As you get older, your gf/bf will have more baggage. People get more serious about getting married and having kids. You can't be 35 and expect to have the same kind of sex-filled, no consequences relationship that a 20 year old would have. Being 40 and losing your virginity with some other person who has already had sex with twenty other people is a much different experience than being a naive teenager discovering sex for the first time. At least, I can only presume what sex is like, having never had it.

 

The inescapable fact is that you have missed out on something, and you can never experience it. Face facts guys, a 35 year old woman is just not as attractive as a 20 year old woman, all else being equal. And if a woman is 35 and still single, there is a reason. She is either fat and ugly, or she has kids. You can't live in this fantasy that you will find some beautiful, intelligent woman who has never been with a man before, but she falls deeply in love with your pathetic, sorry ass. So you have to decide if you want to settle for some fat woman or a woman who is divorced with kids.

 

I would never date a woman with kids. There is no way I'm going to take care of someone else's kids. I also could not date a woman who has been divorced, or even been in a long relationship. I just couldn't get over the idea that she had some relationship with some other guy. I would feel like second place. I made the logical choice and gave up years ago.

 

Damn, did you have to remind it?   everytime I see a couple of high school sweethearts or read about someone's high school ex I just want to hit my head with a mirror, it's simply not as special and as ingenuous, cause at this age people have the chip of adult stupity in their brains and they start having other priorities like having babies, marrying, becoming dark-hearted people, becoming more closed-minded, people this age are not interested in having great moments together, they're interested in someone who has a car, someone who has money or a carrer, I'm simply not worth for who I am anymore! Dating a girl (or should I already call her a woman?) is going to be like dating my mother, not only because at this age people don't look young anymore, but also if I want to replenish those moments I didn't have when I was young she will say no cause we're too old for this, people this age has not the same energies as when they were young. AND DON'T START TELLING ME I'M BEING MYSOGINIST!!! Cause if I was the opposite gender looking for a guy he would be similar to that, and I can tell it cause my closest friend acts more like my father than like my friend.

 

Now the only way to experience young love for me is killing myself and reincarnate in another human being to start a new life

Edited July 7, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Brony Number 42 10,044]

 

 

Damn, did you have to remind it?

I'm sorry to tell you, but you are fucked. I'm a few years further along than you are, and I can tell you it gets worse. Every day that ticks by decreases your chances exponentially. Not that you have much chance anyway. You get older, fatter, your hair starts to go gray. You look at pretty women and think you'd like to ask them out, then you find out they are 10 years younger than you! You look at the young women and think, "I want that," then you look at the women your age and think, "I don't want that, she's too old! God dammit I want that young, hot woman. That guy over there gets to have one, why can't I?"

 

I won't lie to you. If you are like me, then it is totally and utterly hopeless. Well, there is one and only one chance: Become a millionaire. Other than that, you're fucked. Get used to it. Sorry.

[lightning-spark 34]

im 19 so just under the age but i am currently lacking of a lovelife as my GF broke up with me after 5 months.

[Sceethe 704]

i am 18 and ive only had one GF so far.

and even in that relationship she was the one to make the first steps, i am just too unconfident i guess.

The problem is that i dont even have time for a girlfriend and i will have even less time in the upcoming years.

 

In my social environment,many of my friends have already had more than one GF,they change them like underpants honestly.

I´d rather meet a girl that i really like and that also likes me than play this pointless game that they call "love" to prove that i am a playa

[RainbowMau 291]

I'm sorry to tell you, but you are fucked. I'm a few years further along than you are, and I can tell you it gets worse. Every day that ticks by decreases your chances exponentially. Not that you have much chance anyway. You get older, fatter, your hair starts to go gray. You look at pretty women and think you'd like to ask them out, then you find out they are 10 years younger than you! You look at the young women and think, "I want that," then you look at the women your age and think, "I don't want that, she's too old! God dammit I want that young, hot woman. That guy over there gets to have one, why can't I?"

 

I won't lie to you. If you are like me, then it is totally and utterly hopeless. Well, there is one and only one chance: Become a millionaire. Other than that, you're fucked. Get used to it. Sorry.

 

No thanks, I prefer to take a gun and KILL MYSELF CAUSE I'D RATHER DIE THAN LIVING LIKE THAT!!!

Edited July 7, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Luffstups 150]

I'll be 20 in a couple of weeks, and I can't say I've been thinking about dating for the past few years. I used to be pretty wrecked about not having a girlfriend in high-school- everyone's dating and you feel like you're getting left behind, like you're doing something wrong. Sometimes you just feel like you're not good enough, or smelly, or gross, or something. It can really mess with your self-esteem.

However, the closer I got to my senior year of high-school, the further I got from the feeling that I needed to date someone. Need became want, want became might want, and might want eventually became indifference. So, right now the only thing I'm worried about is getting through college and focusing on making my life better.

The point I'm trying to make is that self-actualization comes before relationships. Don't worry about dating, focus on becoming who you want to be. Your life will be happier because you're setting goals and accomplishing them, and eventually love will come in the form of someone who is interested in the you you are.

TL;DR: Don't ever date just to date. It's a giant waste of time, and dating just to date isn't respecting yourself. Be who you want to be and the right person will bumble along in front of you eventually.

[Virgil 685]

Damn, did you have to remind it? everytime I see a couple of high school sweethearts or read about someone's high school ex I just want to hit my head with a mirror, it's simply not as special and as ingenuous, cause at this age people have the chip of adult stupity in their brains and they start having other priorities like having babies, marrying, becoming dark-hearted people, becoming more closed-minded, people this age are not interested in having great moments together, they're interested in someone who has a car, someone who has money or a carrer, I'm simply not worth for who I am anymore! Dating a girl (or should I already call her a woman?) is going to be like dating my mother, not only because at this age people don't look young anymore, but also if I want to replenish those moments I didn't have when I was young she will say no cause we're too old for this, people this age has not the same energies as when they were young. AND DON'T START TELLING ME I'M BEING MYSOGINIST!!! Cause if I was the opposite gender looking for a guy he would be similar to that, and I can tell it cause my closest friend acts more like my father than like my friend.

Bro, age doesn't have much to do with it physical appearance changes sure, but if a person takes care of themselves that is not that much of an issue; unless you are thinking in terms of strictly physical features in their twenties, you should rethink your definition of beauty ( I'd take 33 yr old that is loving and intelligent, over a immature 19 yr old any day of the week ).

But the individuals you are worried about are shallow and immature, and there are just as many that are 20 yrs old as there are 40 yrs old ( a cute new convertible just gets switched to a house in the Bahamas ). The people who say your to old for romantic activities ( or whatever you wish to call it ) are just shallow ( or spoiled brat fits the bill as well ); and they have been that way their entire lives most likely.

On the flip side the type of person you are looking for will also stay that way, personality wise, their whole life. So you are not screwed! You might want to learn how to be happy in your own skin it sounds like first.

But you are still in a far better situation than the guy married at 23 to his high school sweet heart, with a job and kids; who 10 years later ( because he was an immature ass who let what was a few issues he had go unresolved ) cheats on his wife and brings misery to everyone around him. And if you think that doesn't happen I'd bet my student loans, that you could find a number of people on this forum who know of similar people.

 

At this point your probably thinking, "this is coming from the guy who made a big deal on how he can be single his whole life! What does he care about romance?!" Which is fair, after all, I could be a bitter misanthrope who can't stand being around public displays of affection. Which is actually somewhat true in my worse moments much to my shame. I am also an incurable Romantic, who's favorite stories and movies typically feature a love story of some kind; my favorite film features the classic "girl meets boy" formula and I friggin' love it! So when I came to realization that I must live a life of singleness, my reaction was not a happy one ( I was quite miserable actually ).

 

So I say all this cuz I care man, if you are really having such difficulties; maybe you should start seeing a therapist. I see one once a week for some major issues I have and there is no shame in getting help from a professional of some sort. But don't let this get you down. Press on, do your best to stay positive, and focus on getting your stuff in order first. And you have time, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Edited July 14, 2014 by Virgil

[myzz7 73]

Never dated and I'm about to turn 25. I can't find any persons around me to be a friend in real life. None of my interests meet up with theirs and I'm terribly bored by what so many people think is fun or excitable for them. I'm not too worried about date life since I think most of my energy should be directed in setting up my future career at the moment, but I do wonder about just finding anyone, regardless if they're male or female, that can be honestly enthusiastic about the things I value. I sort of take sympathy to those cliched songs about a young person being a loser and loner and hating that he can't fit in with others, but I don't feel that way about myself and can only identify with the situation of "I'm alone." I know I'm probably going to be alone for years to come, and I don't feel too bad about it. I rather be honest to myself. But yes, at times, I do wistfully wonder why I can't find someone else who sees the greatness and importance in things that I do. Nevermind the dating, I just want someone to be a human like me and share a special understanding with.

[IceeBrony 251]

What's the saying? "Never give up! Never surrender!" Or maybe it was " MUFFINS!" Either way, try loving on yourself first. The happier you are with yourself, they happier you'll be with someone else. And, if no one else does come along, who cares? You're still happy.

[Harpuia 68]

What's the saying? "Never give up! Never surrender!" Or maybe it was " MUFFINS!" Either way, try loving on yourself first. The happier you are with yourself, they happier you'll be with someone else. And, if no one else does come along, who cares? You're still happy.

You've never suffered from extreme loneliness before, have you?

[IceeBrony 251]

Or maybe I have and found a way out of it.

[Mr. Forest 135]

I am 22 years old and I have never been in a relationship, kissed a girl, gone a date, etc. While I admit I want to find someone to spend my life with, it really doesn't bother me all that much.  My brother constantly hassels me about it, but I don't think I've gone out of my way to find someone since high school.  The last girl I liked turned out to be interested in the same sex, but she was friendly about it and we stayed on good terms.  Other than that, I have yet to actually find or meet someone that I am actually interested in.  I wonder if I ever will living where I am because to most people here it would be wierd for them to learn about my fascination with MLP, Disney, and whatever else I'm interested in.  People here are very unimaginative and have very different views from my own.  If I ever find someone it will be in another town, city, or state.  But for now, I am just fine being alone.

[The Cynical Lone Wolf 614]

I am 19 and well I deannouced and given up for any kind of love life becuase well, I am insane and I cant cant really handle a relationship. Yeah sure I wanted somneone to love me for awhile and when that happend, I couldn't hold it together. On top of that, I learned that about 6 months after we broke up,she died.  I found my true love and now she is dead,oh well. Now I am realizing, when anyone has girlfriend that talk all about them and all them and I am like "Stop talking!"

I am now and forever will be axsexual and sex I just find digusting and not worth it to me. I am come to terms that I will never ever have a wife or kids and I fell fine.

[Brony Number 42 10,044]

 

 

I am come to terms that I will never ever have a wife or kids and I fell fine

A very wise and logical conclusion. 

[Mr. Forest 135]

I am come to terms that I will never ever have a wife or kids and I fell fine.

I have come to terms with that being a possibility for me as well.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Watchful Guardian

[Inactive01 5,298]

With regards to real life situations, I've got no "love-life" right now. I got rejected recently by a girl who I was super infatuated with for the past two years. I mean, you can see my blog posts about the girl if you don't believe me! I learned a lot of things when it came to relationships because that was my first true romance story. Sure I had lots of other crushes, but it was stupid of me to have though that any of them made any sense. With this, I looked back and I understood why I fell in love in the first place. 

 

At this stage in time, I'm content not to date, because I can feel the same love from a relationship even in a very close friendship. In fact... Well, maybe I'll say it later. But for now, I leave you all with something my piano teacher (and music professor) always said:

 

"The most important thing to know about romantic love is that it's supposed to flow. You should not have to worry to the point it's unhealthy about your potential mate's feelings for you because you two can already feel it with each other as you go along your daily routines. You shouldn't have to put so much effort to making it happen, because you both want to make it happen naturally." He also mentioned signs that when you look back, you realized that you two were meant to be... Boy do I have a cute story about that on my teacher!

[Umbral Noir 1,556]

I may not exactly qualify for this thread (being 18 and all) but what the hay Might as well share my experience if y'all don't mind!

 

I too am single I've had three crushes in the past, all of which have ended in either rejection or purely being ignored. One of my crushes lasted 7 years, but I never did get around to asking the girl because I was too shy at first, and nearer the end she didn't show the slightest bit of interest in me. Another was interested in me but turned me down for this other guy who turned up And then the third again didn't show much interest in me.

 

*sigh* C'est la vie, I guess! I'll just keep up the hope that maybe someday someone will maybe want to end the pain of my loneliness....