How's my first OC?

[AmaraEveinson 23]

I know this sounds weird, but could anypony take a look and see how I did on my first EVER oc? I'm simply curious as to how others will think of her and well I did, I'm not trying to show off at all.

 

EDIT: Sorry I don't know what happened, here's the link again. But if that doesn't work my OC's name is Sketchbook and I just finished her today. 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/sketchbook-r7055

Edited August 15, 2014 by AmaraEveinson

[Solecistic Miss 20]

The link is only leading to the giant list of roleplay characters for some reason.  

[Lucky Lass 528]

Can you give a link to the specific character? cx
The current one just goes to the main OC page.

[ChibbyBrony 3]

I know this sounds weird, but could anypony take a look and see how I did on my first EVER oc? I'm simply curious as to how others will think of her and well I did, I'm not trying to show off at all.

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/sketchbook-r7055 

Hey I'm not sure if you know this, but the hyperlink you provided leads to a list and not the page your character is actually on.  I'd really like to look at your OC I'm sure you did well!

[Solecistic Miss 20]

Okay, I finally managed to get the link to work (no clue how though:  http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/sketchbook-r7055).  She's a good oc, I like that you included info about her parents and stuff.  My only critique is that you might want to narrow down her talent, as 3 special talents seems like a bit much for any pony.  You might wanna just stick with painting to keep with the art theme of the family.

Edited August 15, 2014 by Solecistic Miss

[ChibbyBrony 3]

I really like your pony oc.  She's a really believeable character and her mane is really unique without being outlandish.  The only thing I'd tell you to fix would probably be the name as it's the only thing that seems out of place to me.  Real people usually have a lot of talents and hobbies but only one or two things that they're really passionate about and choose to focus on--in Sketchbook's case, it seems like she has 3 talents that she's passionate about and that doesn't really seem unrealistic to me.  You might want to consider making Sketchbook's name reflect all three of her talents or just two of her talents depending on which one she's passionate about and which ones are just hobbies she does in her spare time.  Other than that, this OC is really well done and you did a fantastic job for your first time ! You should definitely keep up the good work

[AmaraEveinson 23]

I really like your pony oc.  She's a really believeable character and her mane is really unique without being outlandish.  The only thing I'd tell you to fix would probably be the name as it's the only thing that seems out of place to me.  Real people usually have a lot of talents and hobbies but only one or two things that they're really passionate about and choose to focus on--in Sketchbook's case, it seems like she has 3 talents that she's passionate about and that doesn't really seem unrealistic to me.  You might want to consider making Sketchbook's name reflect all three of her talents or just two of her talents depending on which one she's passionate about and which ones are just hobbies she does in her spare time.  Other than that, this OC is really well done and you did a fantastic job for your first time ! You should definitely keep up the good work

I chose Sketchbook's name because it reflects her talents for story-telling and for making art. Otherwise, the reason I chose those three talents is because they are the talents I'm the best at. I want Sketchbook to be my personal persona in the world of MLP, that and I think it makes her more unique compared to other OC's and helps her stand out more. So I'm going to keep her talents the same. 

[That One Techpriest You Used To Know 2,286]

A decent character, especially for a first timer. Definitely more suited towards Slice of Life themed RPs more than adventure/action RPs. Great job on the backstory, but one problem I do have with Sketchbook is her ability to magically gain agility when she is in trouble, thus becoming quite the brawler. Where does this come from, and why does she have it? Is it some sort of magical overdrive ability type thing?

Edited August 15, 2014 by Squigly

[AmaraEveinson 23]

A decent character, especially for a first timer. Definitely more suited towards Slice of Life themed RPs more than adventure/action RPs. Great job on the backstory, but one problem I do have with Sketchbook is her ability to magically gain agility when she is in trouble, thus becoming quite the brawler. Where does this come from, and why does she have it? Is it some sort of magical overdrive ability type thing?

Since she grew up in a very harsh winter climate, Sketchbook has to deal with all sorts of wild animals trying to hurt her and her family. Her parents aren't the best at fighting and one time when Sketchbook was young, she saw her mom getting hit from a wild polar bear. So Sketchbook's protective instincts kicked in and she stopped the polar bear before he could hurt Marble Heart anymore. 

*I'll add this to her OC page*

[ChibbyBrony 3]

I chose Sketchbook's name because it reflects her talents for story-telling and for making art. Otherwise, the reason I chose those three talents is because they are the talents I'm the best at. I want Sketchbook to be my personal persona in the world of MLP, that and I think it makes her more unique compared to other OC's and helps her stand out more. So I'm going to keep her talents the same. 

Okay, that's fine :3 You should do what you feel is best.  Either way, your character is really good and the suggestion I made was pretty minor/subjective anyways xD

[PonyFan101 30]

Uh-oh! You are borderline marysue. She has very few flaws, working too much is rather uninspired. This makes the character much less interesting.music/writing/art in ponies are extremely cliche. People tend to make their oc's reflect their personality and what they want to be. This isn't good. Instead, you should try and find more unique talents.i have made several oc's before:

 

Brimstone:

I call her brim for short, she is the pony on my avatar. Her cutiemark is for her passion for dragons and the book the teacher who helped her find her passion gave to her that day.

 

Cornhole:

Mentally retarded brother of brim, he had a corndog dropped on his head when he was newborn at an airshow. He is obsessed with corndogs,and fills their house with images of them.

 

Farfel:

A chef, farfel grew up in a tight family (he is supposed to be the pony version of italian). He was born half deaf, so he yells often. A chef's hat, his cutie mark represents his passion for cooking

 

 

Basic details,you did great! Don't let me bring you down

[Darker 1,351]

She reminds me a lot of Twilight, but with a little more of Pinkie on her personality.

She looks and sounds cool as a character.

[HereComesTom 2,268]

I think you did a great job; her fur being a "paint" pattern (a term from real-life horsemanship) instead of a solid color is a good change, and what I liked in particular about her backstory is how she gains bursts of strength and speed under the stress of seeing her loved ones in danger.  I'm kind of a sucker for worldbuilding, and in the world of Equestria, earth ponies (like Sketchbook) do have mega-strength, so it'd make sense that she'd find it in herself to stand up to creatures bigger than herself.

 

It might be a good idea to give her a few more character flaws if you want to use her in a story---though I have to admit:  going days without food or rest because of a project is no small flaw (think Twilight from "It's About Time" in Season 2), nor is it unrealistic: I've read about what Isaac Newton did...

[Countess Noodle 607]

I like your OC, but does she need to have 3 different talents.

 

Seems a bit too much and she also only has one flaw which isn't really a flaw.