Friendzoning?

[Vefka 1,503]

Because this is rejection and any rejection in our life is harmful. Friendship and relationship are two different things and I don't understand when people say "What would have changed if she/he had felt the same way? Just stay friends after this". No, things will change, serious relationship isn't just friendship with benefits, it's the whole new stage of your life.

Situation like this: "you finally got courage to ask out your crash, she/he rejected you, you both laughed about it and continued hanging out" is pretty unlikely. Usually a person needs some time to emotionally recover from rejection and during this recover seeing your crush is at least very awkward thing (and I'm not about people who start treating you bad). But surprisingly a lot of people get this as a friendship betrayal like "he/she doesn't want to know me anymore"

[Dreambiscuit 11,210]

I’m not really very familiar with Friendzoning. But from what I understand, it’s basically letting someone know they’re a friend and that romance isn’t where it’s going. I don’t see any big deal with that. There’s no magic button that you can push to make love happen; it takes two to be in a loving relationship. If only one person feels love but the other party still values the friendship without taking it to the next level, it’s an honest and open way to continue being friends without belaboring unrealistic aspirations. Honest communication is a good thing, even if it’s not always what someone else wants to hear. Pretending it’s something else and living dishonestly is going to be far more painful in the long run, so if Friendzoning is a way of letting some down gently (or setting parameters early on), it’s just an unpleasant duty that has to be performed for the long-term good of all involved.   

[Fluttershyfan94 5,749]

Haha yeah I've never been friendzoned when I want someone I just take them. I typically win them over but as for me friendzoning I have never done it either I only know you cant do it effectively. 

Once someone has decided they've got romantic feelings for you and they decide to pursue it well once you've denied that to said person being friends is only going to keep that person around so they can see you move on. Not very healthy for said individual and it'll have them ask the whole time why them but not me, you can friendzone all you like just do them a favor and let them go don't keep them around it isn't healthy and besides that person will always be looking for something more then being friends and that eventually will end said friendship.  

What I've learned is simple, if you know that person has romantic feelings for you and you want to remain friends. Then it simply is a difficult situation and all you can really do is make sure from the get go that you have no romantic intentions with them.

[Splashee 28,599]

5 minutes ago, Fluttershyfan94 said:

just do them a favor and let them go don't keep them around it isn't healthy and besides that person will always be looking for something more then being friends and that eventually will end said friendship.  

If you are friends to begin with, and romantic relationship was sought, and then denied, it is considered mercy to have them leave? 

Letting someone go out of free will is one thing, but pushing away just because of one incident is not very good. Unless it was no friendship to begin with, and what is romance without being friends?

Friendzoned seems like a cruel joke to me

[Fluttershyfan94 5,749]

31 minutes ago, Splashee® said:

If you are friends to begin with, and romantic relationship was sought, and then denied, it is considered mercy to have them leave? 

Letting someone go out of free will is one thing, but pushing away just because of one incident is not very good. Unless it was no friendship to begin with, and what is romance without being friends?

Friendzoned seems like a cruel joke to me

Well dude it is mercy a cruel mercy but mercy still. It is more to help them get over it. Though had you read more of my post you'd learn my answer is more to just make it clear you want nothing to do with them romantically to begin with.

I'm not saying someone who was interested in you and you turn them down that you should push them away only whatever you do just realize they'll continue to see you as potential and as such it might hurt for them. Of course this varies by person, I for one simply have not been friendzoned but I guess I have friendzoned people mostly as I don't return those feelings doesnt mean I stop being their friend I just continue onward without ever kindling those expectations that is. What can be painful for someone that's friendzoned is they'll keep thinking maybe they'll come around rarely they do though so yeah.

[Jesse Terrence 2,971]

Friendzoning can be harmful (mostly for the friendzoned person). And honestly, most people is idiotic when performing such a thing.

However, there are assholes who think "letting go" is the best for both parts. Well, it is not at all. How shortsighted and childish one must be to believe such bullshit, anyway?

Been friendzoned and have friendzoned several times (friendzoned more than being friendzoned). When one has to friendzone, one must take in consideration the feelings of the other person and how debastating can it turn for them. They are so emotionally invested on one a poorly managed rejection can destroy their emotional stability and can generate trust issues for them, both intrapersonal as interpersonal. Of course, one does not have to give in to someone if you don't feel the same, but neither does it mean one has the right to break a friendship if the other person isn't actually harmful to one. People will often try several times to win one's hearth, and while it can be flattering, I'm aware there are try hards who won't give up after docens of failed attempts. That there is when one must put some distance, but not break the friendship. Putting some distance can give the room for the other person to see there are other options out there, and that missing one as a friend is worse than coming to terms with rejection. Everyone takes different times to get over a total rejection, but that someone holds such feelings for one shouldn't be treated as a deadly sin. Patience is a must when one friendzones someone. As one subtly puts distance with the other person, the other person can have a moment to think and can evaluate. If the friendzoned person wants to end the friendship, that's fine. Let them be. They know if staying close is harmful for them or not. They are the ones who should decide wether or not the friendship ends, since one already decided to reject them. When friendzoning someone, never go blunt on the rejection. And neither say "never". Making such an affirmation can devastate the self esteem of the rejected person, and honestly, one isn't all that amazing like to use such wording. So don't kick them away, and don't treat them like trash. If one treats like trash someone one is trying to friendzone, one is the pile of garbage and not the other person since one is showing those true, nasty colors.

And being friendzoned is rather bad. Makes one doubt about oneself. But in hindsight, that person who is rejecting one is most likely (if not always) not as amazing as one thinks. In situations like those, one can see the worth of a person through how they manage the rejection and treat the person they are rejecting. The "nevers" come in play here, and most often people who go with such words look down on you. That means you just dodged a bullet since they can't get to appreciate you enough.

All in all, it sucks, be it if you're rejecting or being rejecting. Just don't be an asshat and treat people nicely if you're rejecting them.

[Meson Bolt 2,650]

It really depends on the person. If you're good enough friends with the person, then revealing that you've got romantic feelings for them is a lot easier than a recent acquaintance (or in one of my cases, a long-term unrequited crush). However, feeling entitled to a relationship is really stupid, and if you flip out on someone because they don't reciprocate feelings for you then you're being a pouty child.

That's not to say that the rejector can just be an asshole about it; burning someone when they're being emotionally vulnerable around you is a quick way to lose that friend forever.

I guess that, if you're good enough friends with the person and chill enough to not flip out on each other, even after one of you gets rejected, you can keep your friendship. And honestly, clearing the air about that shit is a really good way to get some bomb-ass friends. I have a couple friends who I once got friendzoned by, and I have to say, now that I look at it, I much more prefer them as friends than romantic interests. It's hard, but if both parties want to and are chill enough to remain friends, it can be pretty dope.

[Splashee 28,599]

On 8/19/2020 at 3:01 AM, Fluttershyfan94 said:

Well dude it is mercy a cruel mercy but mercy still. It is more to help them get over it. Though had you read more of my post you'd learn my answer is more to just make it clear you want nothing to do with them romantically to begin with.

I'm not saying someone who was interested in you and you turn them down that you should push them away only whatever you do just realize they'll continue to see you as potential and as such it might hurt for them. Of course this varies by person, I for one simply have not been friendzoned but I guess I have friendzoned people mostly as I don't return those feelings doesnt mean I stop being their friend I just continue onward without ever kindling those expectations that is. What can be painful for someone that's friendzoned is they'll keep thinking maybe they'll come around rarely they do though so yeah.

I guess, when you put it that way. If I had some friend that kept trying to get to me even when I said no once, then I would try to get rid of them rather than staying friends (though I would call it "running away" rather than making it "an act of mercy")

[TBD 17,272]

I don't mind friendzoning since my friends don't have a crush on me and likewise. The only time I got friendzoned and ya know? Heartbroken by it, is when I first had a crush on one of my friend but she friendzoned me before I can even say, "Hey I like you". So yeah..

[Splashee 28,599]

What is the most efficient way to reach the friendzone?

For example, I plan to reach many goals over the years. Like accomplish Mile High Club membership. Having been in the Friendzone sounds like a cool place to have been visited 

[Lord Chin Chin 1,212]

I just think friendzone is a really awkward thing. My best friend asked a girl out who hes been friends with since they were little...  She used the "i see you as a brother, so we can only really be friends" 😬

Now they can barely look at each other or speak to each other.

I think I would prefer someone not speak to me or at least take a break from speaking to each other while the cringe dies down lol