Dashies Discovery Ch.1

[Sheogorath 1,155]

This here is a comic book script, so it is not all expertly written as I mostly go for visual cues and sensations when I write for comic base, this here is Chapter one and as I don't usually post my "fics" this is a first and likely last one I will, but since I do, I will welcome feedback as long as it is not along the lines of "make them kiss"

 

Here we go:

 

 

 

Chapter 1, The spell

 

 

Rainbow Dash lies in her bed, disgruntled by her inability to fall asleep despite her great gifts of sleep.

She thought to herself:

”Why can't I get her Off my mind? I was in the right to scold her, so why I feel so bad?”

She tosses around and squeezes her pillor to her face and sighs loudly into it and then resumes her train of thought with reluctant realization ”Ok, I may have been too harsh, mistakes happen to everypony”

Dash gets up from her bed and walks to her window while contemplating on her friend ”Derpy means well, and always works hard at what ever she is tasked to, never complains no matter how minute or hard her work is.”

RD then looks down and her ears droop as she concludes ”Sure she is a bit accident prone and ditzy, but honestly I could have been more gentle about it to her, she did work all day with me without a single complaint, even when I took a nap, she kicked the lightning bolts further away just not to bother me rather than trying to tell me to get back to work”

 

Dash now even more faced with the rashness of her actions and ashamed of her temper flies out of the window just to escape her own company hoping to outfly the thoughts that bother her. As she soars in the moonlit sky she sees light still in Ponyville library and decides to go see Twilight for advice. The reverence Dash has for Twilights intellect is something she tries to hide behind jokes and quips, but in reality she is filled with admiration for her mental prowess and a bit of envy on how she always has at least some worthy opinion to state on just about anything that is presented to her. Dash states to herself ”If anyone can help me, Twilight can!”

 

She soon lands to the door and knocks on it loudly, she hears the hoofsteps nearing the door from the inside and quickly adjusts her bangs and tries to put on a confident face. As the door opens the facade fades just about as fast as Twilight gets to Greet Dash with a cheery but slightly hushed tone:

-”Oh Hello Dash, Spike is already asleep so...”

Dash interrupts Twilight with A plea that cracks her voice shining desperation through it.

-”Twi, You got to help me! I... I can't sleep, I can't think, I can hardly fly straight!”

-Of course Dash, please come in!”

Twilight with a worried look on her face leads Dash in and sits her at the pillow next to her study table. Then she says to her softly: ”What is it Dash? What has you so distraught?”

Dash hesitates for a moment and then tries to word out her problem to sound as ”cool” as she can.

-”I feel... uh.. ”

-”Yes?” Twilight urges her with even more apparent concern on her face

-”I think... Um...”

Twilight gestures Dash to go on with a little nod of her head. Then Dash just gives in on the attempt to seem cool and drops the pretense fully;

-”I am absolutely terrible! I kicked a pony while she already was down! I am the lowest of lows!” Dash exclaims with a sad whining voice and then hiders her face in Twilights mane and hugs her draping herself from Twilights withers miserably.

 

-”Oh Dash I am sure you aren't all that terrible no matter what you did, could you elaborate however?” Twilight tries to comfort her cyan friend and then pushes her back to her rump on the pillow and lifts RD's chin with her hoof to establish eye contact and assure Dash that she doesn't judge her.

Dash then complies to Twilights request and offers some details to the strife.

-”When Derpy was with me yesterday helping with the bolt bucking and she wrecked the town hall roof, I think I scolded her too harshly, and it has been bothering me since.”

Twilight nods and then says

-”If you feel like that, maybe you need to apologize Derpy or try to make it up to her somehow?”

Rainbow Dash says ”I know THAT, but I don't know how! I am not that good with words and I just keep worrying I will say the wrong things or lose my courage to accept what I did and insterd try to explain it away making Derpy feel even worse”

Twilight stands up and turns to the bookshelf, then she states to Dash

-”If that is your concern, maybe we can see if the book I have here called ”Amazing Apologies and Supreme Sorriness” could offer you a good guidelines on how to stick to your goal?”

Dash is speechless for a moment at the notion that there even is a book like that out there and then she Dismisses it as the very concept of book on such subject being as ridiculous as the concept.

-”Twi, I don't think a book is what I really need right now, don't you have a spell or something that would make me tell Derpy the truth of how I feel no matter what?”

Twilight hesitates for a moment as all the possible ways it could go wrong form a list in her head and then out of her own loyalty to truth and to her friend she says reluctantly to Dash;

-”Yes, there is such a spell but it is a really undiscriminating spell and caution in its utilization is advised even in the most controlled envir-”

Dash perks up and then exclaims triumphantly ”Fantastic! You need to cast that on me so I can go and apologize Derpy and finally get some sleep!”

Twilight tries to appeal to Dash's reason and again mentions with her most simplified clarity to her

-”Dash, this spell makes you to stick only to truth in what ever you say! It can end up doing more harm than good at worst!”

Dash however is convinced her motivations for concern are pure and so are her feelings of regret so she says to Twilight confidently:

-”Don't worry Twilight! I have nothing super secret or bad to say to Derpy, I genuinely like her and I just want to be able to tell that to her instead of being controlled by my big mouth!”

 

Twilight complies with a sigh and hopes that Dash is correct. She pulls out a scroll from the drawer under the book case and then reads it and begins to cast the magic, her horn emits the usual glow and then Dash's muzzle starts to glow, with a sudden flash the glow disappears and then the two ponies stare at each others in silence for a moment.

Dash then asks Twilight

-”Did it work?”

Twilight ponders for a moment and says to Dash with a determined look on her face

-”Only one way to know for sure, confess something to me!”

Surprised by the suggestion Dash thinks what could she confess to Sparkle and then comes up with something she hasn't told to Twilight and decides to lie about it.

-”I actually really admire your personality! Even if I tease you for being an egghead it is only to cover up my gushing admiration!”

Dash covers her muzzle scared, as she actually intended to call Twilight a boring egghead. Twilight, with her eyes now all wide open and mouth gaping just stares at Dash, then she gets a playful smile at her face and she says to Dash

-”Don't worry, I'll keep this a secret only between us two”

Dash with a stern flushed face states to Twilight

-”You better or.... I would likely never dare to leave my home again!”

Dash then again covers her mouth now even more flushed and recoils backwards at the words she speaks.

Twilight sees Dash's worry and tried to assure her and says

”Don't worry, the spell only lasts a day”

 

RD thanks Twilight and leaves the library before she speaks even more embarrassing things. Then she heads up to the sky and feels that it is better to go see Derpy now rather than during the day when she would risk running into more ponies.

After a bit of flying she arrives to the home of Derpy Hooves, who resides in the ground level in normal house due having non Pegasus family members, the house is dark already and she scans the rooms for Derpy whom she then spots in one bedroom.

Dash taps to the window with her hoof couple times but Derpy is in too deep of a sleep, so Dash taps even louder but Derpy still doesn't wake up. Frustrated from that RD knocks as loud as she dares, but still manages to shatter the window which then Finally wakes up Derpy, who raises her head from the pillow to look at the window, still groggy and her eyes blurry from sleep she doesn't see Dash clearly but she gets up and walks to the window anyhow and asks:

”Is that you toothfairy? You're a few years late so I put the teeth into a jar for you, they kept falling from under the pillow and some got lost.”

Dash stares Derpy a moment in confusion and then whispers through the broken window pane

-”No! It's me, Rainbow Dash! Let me in!”

Derpy shakes her head and then wipes her eyes and greets Dash with a cheery

-”Oh! Good morning Dash! Am I late from work? I am sorry, I don't know how my alarm didn't go off.”

Derpy opens the window and lets Dash in. Whom then says with apologetic tone

-”No, you're not late, Sorry about the window by the way”

Derpy replies with a kind smile

-”Oh that's OK, accidents happen! Can I offer you something to drink or eat? I have these muffins I baked in the evening if you want to try some, they turned out pretty good even though I used beans instead of raising by accident.”

Dash shakes her head

”Thank you for the offer but Bean muffins sound terrible, so no thanks!”

Then Dash realized that the spell was still in effect on everything she says, and she just insulted Derpy again and felt even more terrible, but then suddenly Derpy giggled

-”You are right actually, but if I smile while eating them and pretend really hard that they taste good, they kind of do taste good, odd but good!”

Dash shaken by Derpys response and spirit felt a hard squeeze in her chest and then her eyes welled up with tears. This gray pony who has had such hardships in her life, made so many mistakes and had so many accidents had already gotten so used to it that she no longer clung to any sense of pride or false image and was able to just laugh at herself and the things that went wrong. She was indeed not the oblivious buffoon Derpy had taken her for, but actually someone wise well beyond her years and more courageous and honest than any other ponies Dash had ever known.

 

Dash then through her tears tried to apologize her comment with sobbing and broken sentences

-”I am sorry Derpy, so sorry! I didn't want to say that harshly about the muffins, I am sure they.. I am sure you are a cook baker and can make great muffins! Like how you can buck bolts really well and I... I... I should not have been so harsh with you yesterday!”

Derpy gave Dash a gentle snug with her forehead and then folded her wings around Dash to a hug.

-”It's okay Dash. I didn't feel bad for long about it, I know you meant well and just were worried that something could have fallen on me too.”

Dash felt a sting in her heart even more prominent now, Derpy had even expected her reaction to be more kind than what it was, she then lost her last of self control and cried properly into Derpys wing as she was just tired of worrying what is ”cool” and always being so damn self assured over everything. She felt like she was not even half as cool as Derpy was. Yet this amazing pony somehow adored her and expected only the best of her motivations.

Derpy was a little confused at Dash's reaction but comforted her all the same in a gentle hushed tone

-”There, there, it is good to let the sadness out, so that there's more room for happiness to grow. That's what my mother always told to me when I was a little filly and felt bad about how I made mistakes and how other ponies called me ”Clumsy Chameleon” or other mean names. And I think she was right!”

Dash then realized that she had been sad for her own self, and how she felt so bad of what she did, and at that very moment her sadness flipped around, and she felt actually sad for Derpy, and that feeling she experienced felt genuine, it felt relieving, and same time even more terrible.

So she cried, but now for Derpy and how her actions could've hurt Derpy as well as how she had been hurt so many times so much that she had grown to see every day without that pain as reason for happiness.

 

Dash after her emotional breakthrough managed to gather herself and then she said to Derpy with a smile on her face:

-”I.. I think I could go for some bean muffins now actually”

She then thought to herself ”the spell is still in action, so that... was a genuine sentiment!” and her heart swelled with a bit of pride. Derpy smiled happily and nodded

-”Okay!”

The two headed to the kitchen in the dark apartment with the help of a single candle on a holder Derpy carried in her mouth. As they ate some muffins and laughed together at their odd flavor RD felt happy, genuinely happy, she felt like she was able to be herself, the true self she always had felt to be insufficient and in need of some ”dressing up” to be more cool.

Edited April 12, 2012 by Pencils

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

Really nice story, do you plan to actually draw the comic for it?

Since this is supposed to be a comic, this might be a moot point, but I think the script would work better in past tense.

How much you're going to express via the pictures and how much will be in textboxes?.

 

Other than that there really only a handful of minor complaints (e.g. it would make more sense for Twilight to ask Rainbow a question instead of simply telling her to confess something)

 

PS the idea of pegasi huging with their wind is all kinds of cute

[D1SC0RD 987]

hehe, it's great! I can't wait to read chapter 2 (or see, if you decide to sketch it up XD). Keep me informed!