Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,111]

Tree of Harmony: I'm still learning, growing, and becoming more aware.

Gallus: We're aware now that this tree is a freaking borderline sadist.

 

Cozy Glow: I hope you don't tell the professors about this.

Gallus: Oh sure, we won't tell them about the sadistic tree living under the school that tormented us on our fears.

Sandbar: That didn't happen to me.

Gallus: Well no duh, you're a pony.

 

Yona: Yona, is afraid of spiders.

Gallus: You're a yak. Built like a mini-tank. Just squash them like everyone else that isn't Fluttershy.

 

Tree of Harmony: I have learned there is much disharmony in Equestria and it's not being handled fast enough. So I will have to take more drastic measures to friend-ucate them.

 

Silverstream: I did it. Take that Storm King.

Gallus: Yes, you overcame your fear and put those rocks in their place.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 5, 2018 by Singe

[Luigi 7,870]

(Princess Cadance has a horrible nightmare when Shining Armor becomes a Zombie and leads other zombies to her home. As soon as Zombie S.A. grabs her, she wakes up on S.A's couch. She fell asleep after the two were watching Frankenstein)

S.A.: What's the problem?

(Cadance is so pleased to see it was only a dream, she can't speak)

S.A.: Come on, I'll take you home!

(The scene ends with Cadance and S.A. heading out. S.A. however breaks the fourth wall and looks at the camera and smiles, and the scene freezes. The editor (Hopefully) puts in maniacal laughter and turns S.A.'s eyes yellow)

[Singe 2,111]

Applejack: We're back every pony.

Fluttershy: I also brought you all this. *Throws water from the Stream of Silence on the Mane 5.* Finally it will be quiet.

Applejack:.........

Fluttershy: Oh yes, you do run your mouth too much like an engine.

Pinkie Pie:........

Fluttershy: I'm telling you Pinkie, you're jokes are bad.

Rarity:..........

Fluttershy: Well, I heard a lot of colts prefer ponies that don't talk too much.

Rainbow Dash:.........

Fluttershy: I'm sure they won't kick you out.

Twilight Sparkle:.........

Fluttershy: I agree, you are completely overrated.

 

Applejack: Now, we gotta get up that peak! I figure if we use some rope and elbow grease, we can make it up half—

Fluttershy: Applejack! Shut the *bleep* up and listen to me! What I'm trying to say is the squirrels told me a shortcut they take to the Kirin village.

Applejack: Right.....the varmints know the way better than us ponies. 

Fluttershy: Fine, climb the peak you idiot. I'll take the shortcut.

*12 hours later.*

Applejack: It took a lot of work and a broken leg but I finally made it. Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: You sure took your sweet time.

 

Autumn Blaze: You know when I get angry I just want to burn everyone and everything to the ground.

Fluttershy: Let's try to avoid inviting her to Equestria.

Applejack: I agree.

 

Twilight Sparkle: The map is lighting up.

Rarity: I wonder what the friendship problem could be?

Pinkie Pie: Maybe it's some lonely colt who needs two cute ponies to turn his life around. Basically the map is sending us out on a flanky call.

Rarity: I'm having second thoughts about going.

 

[Singe 2,111]

Cozy Glow: I know all of you are great friends, but don't you find your circumstances somewhat weird. You know like how you're the only non-ponies in a still major pony dominate school. It's somehow like Princess Twilight is keeping you five around as token creatures to promote her school.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I plan to expand our promotion of creature history. So I want everything that depicts anything negative of other creatures in Equestrian history to be removed.

Applejack: Are you censoring our history?

Twilight Sparkle: Consider it a good scrubbing.

 

Rarity: I am the very definition of white privilege.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, you said there was an emergency?

Princess Celestia: Yes, it's Neighsay.

Rainbow Dash: I knew he would go full blown evil. What's his scheme?

Princess Celestia: This. *A long list rolls along the floor.*

Rainbow Dash: He's going to fight us with a list longer than Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: These are the name of different ponies. What is this for?

Princess Celestia: It's a petition to have Twilight's princess status removed.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm being disbarred? I didn't know that could happen. Can't you do anything about it?

Princess Celestia: No, I have no say in this matter considering our history and I am required to recuse myself.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Do you know where Pinkie Pie is?

Carrot Cake: You know, another pony said her cupcakes were bad and she's trying to jump off a cliff again.

Edited October 14, 2018 by Singe

[cmarston1 5,959]

How The Cutie-Remark should have ended

Starlight Glimmer: I know I hurt you and your friends, but Equestria turned its back on me long before Our Town ever existed.

Twilight Sparkle: That's a lie!  Equesetria gave you a home and provided for you.

Starlight: But I never really was a part of Equestria was I?

Twilight Sparkle: You messed around with time and spaced and almost completely destroyed Equestria!

Starlight Glimmer: And I've apologized.  Numerous times.  When will you see through your anger to forgive me?

Twilight Sparkle: That's what you don't get.  Being sorry isn't enough.  You need to take responsibility for what you've done.  Goodbye Starlight.

 

[Kion 7,407]

Starlight Glimmer: I miss taking ponies cutie marks. 

Rarity: I don’t like fashion.  

Sweetie belle: Cozy glow is a menous.

Scootaloo: I hope I never fly.

Lightning dust: Safety  first:

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: I drink cider because it dulls the pain.

 

Rarity: What are all these balloons? They're drawn with our faces.

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie must have finally crossed over.

Pinkie Pie: Have you ever wonder how easy it would be to pop their heads like a balloon.

 

Applejack: That is udderly ridiculous. Oops, slip of the tongue. 

 

Applejack: I have an idea.

Fluttershy: No one listen to her, she's blond.

 

Twilight Sparkle: We need to talk about Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash: So we're finally going to commit her to a mental institution.

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Rainbow Dash: Then stop wasting my time. *Flies away.*

Edited October 15, 2018 by Singe

[cmarston1 5,959]

Rainbow Dash: I drink to forget, but I always remember.

[Wannabrony 11,640]

Fluttershy: Can you please pass me the butter?

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, I am sorry. I thought you were Spike.

Sludge: Doing some window shopping. Did you see what you like?

Twilight Sparkle: What? No.

 

Spike: My dad told me you and him had some one on one time. What happened?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh your father taught me about dragon anatomy...I mean snakes.

Spike: Really?

Twilight Sparkle: *Nods* Yes.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Friendship isn't about power.

Cozy Glow: You used the magic of friendship with the elements of harmony to defeat many villains. You've used friendship to subjugate Discord, Starlight Glimmer and the Changelings. You're not kidding anyone?

Starlight Glimmer: She does have a point.

 

Fluttershy: Can't you just tell us your pen pal's name? I mean, since we're stuck here anyway?

Lord Tirek: Oh, why not? The irony is too perfect. Her name is...Your Mama! *Laughs.*

Fluttershy: My...my mother? She's turned evil. *Cries.*

 

Chancellor Neighsay: What are you going to do to me?

Cozy Glow: Neighsay you've always been such a stiff. Let me work those kinks out of your neck.

 

Lord Tirek: Cozy Glow wanted to drain the magic of all of Equestria to open a portal to summon Cthulhu and sacrifice some pony named Glimmer..

 

Chancellor Neighsay: To be honest, an entire school to teach friendship is one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard. Your headmare is the perfect one to run a stupid school with many mistakes into the ground.

 

Crazy Glow: Oh no, those creatures are trying to destroy Equestria and I heard one of them say something anti-Semitic.

Pony student: Get them!

Edited October 28, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy were you able to convince them to help out with their magic?

Fluttershy: No, because all of them deserve to be locked up in here.

Monster: *Roar.*
Fluttershy: Your mothers should be ashamed for teaching you to speak like that!

Twilight Sparkle: I take it, you couldn't convince them.

Fluttershy: They have a lot of pent up anger and hate for ponies, preferring us to rot in here.

 

Neighsay: Cozy Glow has the potential to be a powerful well connected corrupt politician. Pray that Democracy doesn't take over this kingdom.

 

Twilight Sparkle: You're stuck in here with us.

Tirek: Fine. Everyone, you can cut loose now! No need for keeping up the appearance, put on your most hideous look!

Mane 6: *Disgusted reaction.*

Rarity: Have some decency, you're still in the presence of ladies!

 

Twilight Sparkle: Cozy Glow what do you have to say for yourself?

Cozy Glow: Congratulations, you passed my challenge. I thought I gave you a real doozy. 

Twilight Sparkle: I passed. That was a challenge. *Claps*

Starlight Glimmer: Oh come on!

 

Tirek: The six of you are now trapped.

Spike: Seven!

Tirek: Slaves don't count!

 

Sentry: Princesses, we have also found the bodies of the missing ponies under the school.

Twilight Sparkle: Cozy Glow!

Cozy Glow: Don't look at me.

Gallus: Oh right, I forgot to mention the murder tree living under the school. My bad.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Singe

[Luigi 7,870]

Rainbow Dash: Man, what a buncha jokers!

 

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Rarity! You think you can teach me how to stitch together dresses?

Shining Armor: So that's how it is. Giving up your studies already?

Twilight Sparkle: No no, that's not it at all.

Rarity: I'm speechless!

[heavens-champion 1,905]

Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is for the weak.

[Luigi 7,870]

Shining Armor: I'M REALLY FEELING IT!

Princess Cadance: Let's press on and on AND ON!

[Singe 2,111]

Apple Bloom: Look I got a letter from Babs Seed. *Throws it in the garbage.* Now on to Cutie Mark business.

 

Sweetie Belle: We're being bullied. We have to tell someone.

Applebloom: We can't tell any adult.

Scootaloo: We could tell Rainbow Dash. She technically acts more like a child than an adult.

Applebloom: She does. Then let's go. 

 

Rainbow Dash: I told you I would save you at the last minute.

Scootaloo: Not the other last couple of times.

Rainbow Dash: I was busy those times.

 

Rainbow Dash: How could you write about me being a boy? Everyone keeps giving me weird looks that I now have to wear clothes that air drag.

[Sherem 4,807]

just one

Discord: CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! wait! scratch that, cheese for no one

[RDDash 19,184]

Tree of Harmony: What are you doing?

Cozy Glow: Umm, I just...I am lost.

Tree: No seriously kid, What the hay are you doing here? First those six were here, and now you. 

Cozy: I...

Tree: I said get out of my sight!

Cozy: yes ma'am! Runs away.

Tree: and stay out!

[Singe 2,111]

Sludge: Look kid, I'm not your father. Heck I wouldn't even want you as my own because you're just a beta pony that possessed a dragon's body.

Spike: Come on.

Smolder: He's right. If there was any other dragons around I wouldn't waste time with you.

Spike: I'm a real dragon.

Smolder: Your first crush was on that pony Rarity.

Sludge: Ewww! What is wrong with you? I can't believe you're attracted to that hideous thing.

[Twilight Luna 31,399]

Celestia: I hate all these whiny peasants coming to me with all their problems.

[Singe 2,111]

Spike: Who's this colt?

Twilight Sparkle: This is my new royal guard, Rock Samson. Princess Celestia said it was long overdue that I have at least some pony to rely on for protection because I'm a princess.

Spike: Hello. What do you specialize in?

Rock Samson: I am the highly trained of elite royal guard. Specializing in ending things fast; fights, disputes, annoyances,........lives.

Spike: *Gulp.*

Rock Samson: Right now, I'm thinking of 1000 ways I could put you down for good.

Spike: Twilight, he scares me.

Rock Samson: Good. Remember that fear if you ever think of crossing the princess.

Twilight Sparkle: I wouldn't worry too much about it. Given time he'll fit right in.

Rock Samson: I can be incognito. Then when you least expect it. It's over for you, dragon.

Spike: *Faints.*

 

 

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"Honey, you're a princess now. When do you think you'll be paying back your father and I for putting you through magic school?"

- Twilight Velvet

 

"I'm sorry mom. Just wait a bit. I initiate my new tax system on Ponyville the day after Haerth's Warming Eve. I'll be raking in the bits after that!"

- Twilight Sparkle

 

"I Ain't payin' no Friendship tax!"

- Applejack

 

"Twily, is this hay-seed causing you trouble? I can send over a guard division to fill the ranks of your tax collectors."

- Shining Armor

 

"Wait, um, I misspoke! I ain't payin' no friendship tax until apple buckin' season is over! Twilight, tell yer brother to stop makin' his horn glow at me!"

 

"The Wonderbolts are tax exempt!"

- Rainbow Dash 

 

"Ohh, ohh, can I pay my taxes with chocolate cake?"

- Pinkie Pie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kion 7,407]

Discord: I wish I was Fluttershys daddy 

Rarity I hate drama: 

Twilight: Books are the most boring thing in the entire world.

Applebloom: Why did I have to get my cutie mark I love being a blank flank. 

 

Spitfire I hate yelling. 

[Luigi 7,870]

(Spike smells very awful and is seen being flung out of Twilight's Castle)

Twilight Sparkle: AND STAY OUT!

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: I see you've been eyeing that colt.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, he calls himself Flash Sentry.

Princess Luna: Flash Sentry, don't get too attached to him. He'll be out of a job tomorrow for poor performance.

[CypherHoof 26,483]

12 hours ago, Singe said:

Rarity: I see you've been eyeing that colt.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, he calls himself Flash Sentry.

Princess Luna: Flash Sentry, don't get too attached to him. He'll be out of a job tomorrow for poor performance.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, you DID say I should get a few guards into the castle after the whole changeling takeover thing; I think he would be ideal for guarding my royal bedchambers

Princess Celestia: Oh dear; the fans aren't going to like that.

Pinkie: wait, you can see them too?