RDDash 19,189 June 22, 2019 Share June 22, 2019 (edited) 17 hours ago, CypherHoof said: Rarity: Oh! I let him be my -first- and he was two-timing me with.... THAT? <faints onto conveniently placed fainting couch> Twilight: I have a grandson? This is wonderful news. Teleports to Canterlot Twilight: Hey everypony, have you heard the news I am grandmother. I have a grandson Royal Guards! Twilight: I have a grandson castle walls! Trots right next to the nobles Twilight: Guess what? I have a grandson. Teleports again. Twilight: I have a grandson, Tree of Harmony. Edited June 22, 2019 by R.D.Dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparklefan1234 171,541 June 23, 2019 Share June 23, 2019 Princess Celestia: The final phase of your Princess Training will begin soon, Twilight. Twilight Sparkle: What is it? Learning how to make laws? Picking out my throne? Princess Celestia: Explaining to nerds at conventions that the Series Finale was just as Faust intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singe 2,111 June 27, 2019 Author Share June 27, 2019 Sombra: Why did you summon us? Grogar: You're not the only ones I summoned. Behold! Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon... Nixon: But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook. Grogar: Hey, listen: I did a favor for you! Nixon: Yes, master. Grogar: ...John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, and the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 June 28, 2019 Share June 28, 2019 (edited) Twilight Sparkle: Alright alright I can handle it. Rarity? Rarity: Yes darling. Twilight: You are going to be the Minister of Finances. Applejack? Applejack: Let me guess, Minister of Farming? Twilight: Agriculture AJ, now next Rainbow Dash you are going to be a Minister of Defense. Rainbow: are you sure that's a smart idea? Twilight: Yes, now Fluttershy you are Minister of Health Fluttershy: Um, okay. Pinkie Pie: me next me next. Twilight: Ministry of Culture and Tourism. Now go out there and make me proud. Edited June 28, 2019 by R.D.Dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singe 2,111 June 30, 2019 Author Share June 30, 2019 Fancy Pants: You do know the Princesses don't do the work. They have others do it. Twilight Sparkle: Delegation. Oh, so that's how they do it. Fancy Pants: How do you not know this? You run a school....the same way you just did here. Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, I run it differently. Right every pony? Spike: I'll make a reminder to hire some real staff. Rainbow Dash: It's Zephyr Breeze. How are we going to get past him? Rarity: I have an idea. Zephyr Breeze: Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash: Oh, me so pony. Me love you long time. *Gag.* Zephyr Breeze: I knew you couldn't resist me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 (edited) Rarity: Are those ponies siriously going to scam us with this, she air quotes, five star luxurious hotel? Rainbow Dash: I am afraid I would have to agree, this is the Crystal Empire 2014 Olympics all over again. Twilight: Hey! Rarity: the brown toilet water oh the horor. dramatically faints. What the hey were your brother was even thinking? Applejack: All of you are just sensitive little divas I am perfectly happy with sleeping on a ruined bed. Gets catapulted from the bed into the wall. Pinkie Pie: yeah no, I think I am going to take my chances sleeping on the floor. Edited July 1, 2019 by R.D.Dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo 45 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie needs a volunteer for her latest trick at tonights Grand Galloping Gala! Blueblood: Ugh! A Commoner's show. *Under breath* At least she is pleasing to look at. Trixie: You sir in front! Blueblood: Me madam? Trixie: Yes you! I demand your presence on stage! Blueblood: I can't! Trixie: Why not?! Blueblood: My leg fell asleep. Trixie: well stand up and put your weight.. *Looks in shock* Well the Great and Powerful Trixie is very flattered you are clearly enjoying her show! Come backstage later for an "exclusive meeting and autograph". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi 7,870 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 Narrator: GOLD! Some Canadian ponies had it in their watches. Others had it in their teeth. One Canadian had it on his mind. The pride of the mountain police ponies, Soarin Do-Right. He is digging for gold for two reasons. One, he received a new shovel for his birthday. And two, only gold and the wealth it brings will win him the heart of the fair Rainbow Dash Fenwick, Inspector Hot Hoof Fenwick’s daughter. It is for her that Soarin tries to do right, but seldom does. Soarin: Look what I have baked for you, Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash: Thank you, Soarin, but that’s not Gold. That is an Apple Pie. Soarin: Of course, but all that glitters is not gold. Rainbow: What does that mean? Soarin: I’m not sure. I shall give it some thought whilst working in the mine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 (edited) Zephyr Breeze: Look Dash I get it, alright. All this time I thought that you hate me.You thought, I am some kind of looser that is not worth your time. Rainbow: No, that's not it. Zephyr: and I just had enough with myself trying to get your attention. Rainbow: Zephyr, please. Zephyr: You are an huge lesbian aren't you? Rainbow: Wait what? Zephyr: I really feel like an idiot for not noticing it sooner. I mean, it's like you have always being in some kind of closet, or something. Rainbow: eye twitch Yeah, I am a huge lesbian. Edited July 1, 2019 by R.D.Dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi 7,870 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 (Soarin beats Shining Armor’s High Score in a Mario Party minigame) Soarin: ALL RIGHT!! NEW RECORD. (The game doesn’t record it since a computer player won the game) Soarin: Wait, so it doesn’t count because the AI won? Shining Armor: Yeah, you have to beat the AI for it to count. Soarin: That’s stupid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo 45 July 1, 2019 Share July 1, 2019 (edited) In the Map Room: Twilight: The map is glowing but the friendship mission isn't shown. Fluttershy your cutie mark is glowing. Fluttershy: oh my! It is! Oh.... *Shutters* I hope it's not a scary place. Discord: *Appears* Well here we are! All 8 of us! And that flashing with no location appears to be in my realm! Fluttershy! You are to accompany me to my realm! We'll have so much fun! Starlight Glimmer: Discord! What have you done now?! Rainbow Dash: Yes what hasn't he done now??? Fluttershy: Well we haven't tried on the bench outside his house yet... *Stares of shock across the room* Rainbow Dash: TMI Fluttershy... T..M..I.. Starlight Glimmer: UGH!!! How does that even work!? Rarity: By Celestia, Starlight! Do you really want to know how?!? EEEEK! Someone get me a bag! Edited July 1, 2019 by Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 July 2, 2019 Share July 2, 2019 Sunset: Rainbow hit me with your guitar again, and I force you to marry me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cash In 22,382 July 2, 2019 Share July 2, 2019 (edited) Twilight: Spike, did you commit tax fraud, again? Edited July 2, 2019 by Cash In At first I rejected the zero, but that was because I simply didn't understand it. Now I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo 45 July 2, 2019 Share July 2, 2019 Luna: Celestia, sister, could you please ask Applejack to send me her special brewed cider? I need something to forget your dream last night and you screaming "Sombra is my pony!" followed by loud thumping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi 7,870 July 3, 2019 Share July 3, 2019 Applejack: My brother is dating a UNICORN? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 July 3, 2019 Share July 3, 2019 Twilight: If only Rarity listened to me back then, she would have known that I was dating Blueblood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi 7,870 July 3, 2019 Share July 3, 2019 Soarin: Good Evening, Rainbow Dash! Our dinner awaits. (After dinner) Rainbow Dash: You really are a good cook, Soarin! Soarin: You really think so? Rainbow Dash: I do. Soarin: So I heard Zephyr Breeze has had his eye on you lately. Has he been harassing you at all? Rainbow: No. He only asked me out once, and that was this morning. Soarin: And what did you say? Rainbow: I told him that I’m gay. (Both Soarin AND Rainbow start laughing) (Meanwhile at Fluttershy’s Parents house) Mrs Shy: It was nice of you two to stop by for dinner. It’s been too quiet with you two gone. Mr. Shy: So what have you two been doing lately? Zephyr Breeze: I’ve still been working at the mane salon. They tell me I’m in the running for Employee of the Year. I don’t think I’ll win it though. Mrs Shy: And what about you, Fluttershy? Fluttershy: Umm...... not much. Just the usual stuff with the Animals that live in my yard. Mr Shy: So Zephyr. Have you found yourself a mare friend yet? Zephyr Breeze: No. I did ask somepony out, but she said no. Mrs Shy: What about you, Fluttershy? Have you found a Stallion? (Fluttershy is stunned silently and too scared to talk) Zephyr: Come on, Mom. She’s always been afraid to talk to Stallions. Even in school she never talked to any Colts. Mr. Shy: At least you two aren’t as unpromising as you both used to be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cash In 22,382 July 6, 2019 Share July 6, 2019 Twilight Sparkle: "Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash: "I hope she made lots of oats! Twilight Sparkle: "Rainbow Dash! Look! It's from Grogar!" Dear, Pesky Ponies The villains and I have taken over Equestria. The princess is now a permanent guest at one of my 7 evil Hotels. I dare you to find her if you can!'' Twilight Sparkle: "We got to find the princess! At first I rejected the zero, but that was because I simply didn't understand it. Now I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDDash 19,189 July 7, 2019 Share July 7, 2019 (edited) Rainbow Dash: Uh, Rarity! All of that chivalry horse manure that you so fond of is made up by a horny stallions to, uh, score with the lady. Rarity: we do have horns on our heads, darling. Edited July 7, 2019 by R.D.Dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo 45 July 7, 2019 Share July 7, 2019 *Luna walks by as Flash Sentry looks* Flash: Wow what a good looking moon. Jealous Twilight: Trixie you know what to do! Trixie: Teacup! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The MegaBrony 219 July 8, 2019 Share July 8, 2019 Rarity: Playtime's over! (stabs Grogar in the chest with giant scissors) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi 7,870 July 8, 2019 Share July 8, 2019 Lightning Dust: Who the hell you think you is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Bolt 35,064 July 8, 2019 Share July 8, 2019 *Rainbow Dash to Applejack*: "AJ, will you marry me?" *Applejack*: "YES!!!" ^ This needs to happen people! 1 ☆ My socials ☆ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CypherHoof 26,483 July 8, 2019 Share July 8, 2019 Grogar: your puny friendship is no match for my magic bell Twi: Oh, well, didn't you hear we are MANGA ponies now? <Pulls out a glowing sword four times larger than she is> ᚾᛖᚹ ᛚᚢᚾᚨ ᚱᛖᛈᚢᛒᛚᛁᚴ - ᚦᛖ ᚠᚢᚾ ᚺᚨᚦ ᛒᛖᛖᚾ ᛞᛟᚢᛒᛚᛖᛞ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo 45 July 8, 2019 Share July 8, 2019 Rainbow Dash: Applejack! You gotta help me. I woke up next to Zephyr at his place this morning after the Gala! And I have a splitting headache! Applejack: Too much of my special cider and a hard headboard will do that to ya sugar cube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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