mega thread How are you feeling?

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I am doing not good. I've been feeling suicidal a moments a go. And now I am going manic, again. Which comes from the fact that my family has been lying to me my entire life. So, it is a strange environment where I am unable to discuss anything with them. At least with my mother, but she is innocent. My uncle, I am not sure about him.

Still, I am sorry for the things that I said about them. Maybe they are true, maybe they are not. But hey. That happens when you raise a genetically defective person in ignorance about their condition, and then pretend everything is "alright". But it is not. So, the family is falling apart, and whenever I bring up my real problems. They ignore them. And I feel about my mother, because she doesn't know about her condition either. But yeah. Otherwise, I wouldn't be going insane on a social platform.

So, there it is. It is because I was denied my animal nature, and the fact that I needed a mate within my own family, because I have incestuous genes already. And I am still an animal with a heart. But they ignored what I needed in life. At least my grandfather and the rest of the family. Because I believe the old man did know. So, that pain is the cause of my mental problems, because I am suffering like any other animal would in a place like mine.

Also, regarding my grandfather. I think he knew because of this time he took me to the hospital to see my great aunt; the frustrated lesbian who tried to influence me with homosexual tendencies, but my mother protected me from that *****. And then the old man dropped a pillow over her feet, and she squalled like an animal. And then he looked at me. And just looked at him, and my grandfather looked down like a reprimended kid who was scolded after a needless act of cruelty. But who knows. It is confusing.

So, I am here watching them repeat the same motions everyday, because I want to protect my mother. Because I owe her my dignity. I don't know. Stay well, for real this time. I just need to sleep.

Edited June 7, 2023 by They call me Loyalty

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

been coughing like crazy for a week I guess i'm sick i also feel bored very bored maybe i should put more effort interacting here on the forums

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,832]

Hungry in need of a midnight snack  

[Ice Princess Silky <3 14,363]

Disheartened with myself and my own actions. But I suppose this gives me something to reflect on...

[Cash In 22,459]

11 minutes ago, Princess Silky said:

Disheartened with myself and my own actions. But I suppose this gives me something to reflect on...

We all make mistakes, so please don't be too hard on yourself. All we can do is learn and improve.

[Sparklefan1234 172,174]

38 minutes ago, Princess Silky said:

Disheartened with myself and my own actions. But I suppose this gives me something to reflect on...

 

I feel bad that my Bestie @Princess Silky is feeling sad. I hope she feels better soon.

 

15 hours ago, Pandora said:

Mentally exhausted, physically exhausted.. like I feel myself slipping away further again

 

*Feel Better Hugs for my Bestie @Pandora, too!* 

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I am feeling better. Sometimes I get worked up trying to re-organize the puzzle in front in me, without understanding that no matter how many times I shuffle it, the result is always "life". And the problem comes from me, that makes it difficult to face this revelation.
So, I keep shuffling, and there is a certain time of relief, previous to that moment before the final frame reveals the picture taken, where you can envision what your desired image would be like. In that fraction of missing time where imagination takes place.

It is a forgetfulness of sorts that creates these missing frames in your understanding, where you can re-imagine the past, and give a sense of purpose to the future. So, I keep shuffling, basically.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

1 hour ago, Princess Silky said:

Disheartened with myself and my own actions. But I suppose this gives me something to reflect on...

Hey please don't be too hard on yourself i don't want to see you hurt like this it's going to be okay 

 

i'm feeling tired still a little sick

[Espy Vibe 4,357]

I'm a little upset at ruining a "normal" sleep schedule for myself. I dont even know what happened

For almost a week my body naturally decided to actually sleep earlier than I normally do (around 1 AM at most) and wake up like around 8 or 9 AM. Now it's back to the usual, sleep around 5 AM and then wake up at 12 or 1 PM. 

[Cash In 22,459]

18 minutes ago, Trot Shuffle said:

I'm a little upset at ruining a "normal" sleep schedule for myself. I dont even know what happened

For almost a week my body naturally decided to actually sleep earlier than I normally do (around 1 AM at most) and wake up like around 8 or 9 AM. Now it's back to the usual, sleep around 5 AM and then wake up at 12 or 1 PM. 

I can relate to this in a way. My sleep schedule was 11 PM or 12 AM to 7-8 AM. But, I've been staying up late to finish up work for the last week, so now it's been completely thrown off.

The best way to go about it is to keep trying to go to bed earlier. It takes a bit of time, but eventually your body will adjust. 

[Espy Vibe 4,357]

12 minutes ago, Cash In said:

I can relate to this in a way. My sleep schedule was 11 PM or 12 AM to 7-8 AM. But, I've been staying up late to finish up work for the last week, so now it's been completely thrown off.

The best way to go about it is to keep trying to go to bed earlier. It takes a bit of time, but eventually your body will adjust. 

At least you have a productive reason!

I know a way: I can pause my dreams like it's a movie! Every time I've done that, I wake up SUPER QUICK and at normal waking up times, but super groggy.... 

Morning alarms don't work unfortunately. And it seems forcing my body doesn't either because it gets BORED and I CANT STOP it 

[Cash In 22,459]

3 minutes ago, Trot Shuffle said:

Morning alarms don't work unfortunately. And it seems forcing my body doesn't either because it gets BORED and I CANT STOP it 

I feel you on that as well. I've got bad insomnia and ADHD, so trying to fall asleep is a herculean task for me.

[Verdant Shy 961]

9 hours ago, FlutteringGuardian said:

been coughing like crazy for a week I guess i'm sick i also feel bored very bored maybe i should put more effort interacting here on the forums

Oh, hope you get well soon *hugs* (\*/) 

[Longhaul 6,925]

Got a bit of a headache, and have this feeling like I might have gone a little overboard in my interactions yesterday...

[Verdant Shy 961]

2 hours ago, Cash In said:

I feel you on that as well. I've got bad insomnia and ADHD, so trying to fall asleep is a herculean task for me.

Yea, I can relate

[CocoCody 513]

I feel hopeful about my circumstances, stinging as the pinches of fear remind of where I've been

and i can say with certainty that i know where i am going, and not despite the discomfort being left behind me

but because i choose to walk with it and understand that every piece of me is a friend worth showing compassion to.

[Silverspark184 1,385]

Feel happy after last night I had my online friends and gone to the library I had the best Birthday even though I didn't  get any cake I still had a blast thank you all for the birthday wishes 

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

2 hours ago, Silverspark184 said:

Feel happy after last night I had my online friends and gone to the library I had the best Birthday even though I didn't  get any cake I still had a blast thank you all for the birthday wishes 

Nice happy birthday!

I'm feeling sad because i can feel people's stress and sadness but I'm feeling happy because i made some progress in some stuff

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,832]

Happy and relaxed, got a haircut an hour ago  

[Longhaul 6,925]

Feeling pretty good today, looking forward to the weekend and some relaxation, and hoping my friends are doing well also.

[Verdant Shy 961]

Feeling pretty good, girly, euphoric and slightly dysphoric today.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

i feel more at peace with myself

[TheRockARockster 52,035]

I’m feeling alright, might fall asleep out of nowhere.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,832]

Frustrated, can't win any arena battles today in Star Wars:  The Old Republic (2011)  

[Sturmponiere 122]

Ruined. Stallions don't cry but... I think it's allowed this time... When nobody can see...

You don't need to know why and I'll be banned if I will try to explain.