How to tell someone you don't like a gift/should you?

[Oblivion 20,270]

On 2/1/2020 at 5:19 PM, Brony Number 42 said:

When you are an adult you can buy whatever you want, so there is not much someone can get you. But for Christmas I get something for my parents and brother and my friend.

I make way more money than my friend so I spend more on a gift. Lately I got him some books for the Call off Cthulhu rpg we have been playing, and they were expensive. He had been using the free rules and couldn't afford the books. He knows I like MLP so he got me a pez candy thing, some card game, and shirt. The pez thing I wouldn't have bought myself. It was like, "oh this is MLP he will like that."

Sometimes I get gifts for people just because. I got some shirts from some concerts I went to because this guy at work likes the same music.

The biggest offender is pointless crap gifts, like Valentine's Day stuffed animals or some block of wood that says "I love you" or something like that. Just junk that fills up the house.

Unless you're me and broke all the damn time.... 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,852]

Usually if I get a gift that I don't really like in the material sense, I simply accept the gift and thank them for it. Gift giving is a positive social thing for me, so from my perspective, turning around and telling someone straight that you don't like it is bad manners. Afterall, gift giving (to me anyway) is more about the gesture than the material gift itself. To turn around and tell them straight that you don't like it, can be considered you dismissing their gesture of kindness and friendship. Even if the gift itself is of no use to you or falls out of your area of interests. It still holds a lot of value as a gesture, a symbol of the relationship between you and the other person.

[Dreambiscuit 10,092]

I'd never tell anyone I didn't like a gift, probably because I always do like it when someone shows the thought and care that goes into the gesture. When they say' it's the thought that counts' they're absolutely right. I don't care what a gift is; just the fact that someone cared enough to think of me in such a sweet and generous way. So what a gift is is totally irrelevant. If it's something like a clothing or jewelry item that doesn't fit my sense of style I'd still wear it, at least when I'm around the person who gave it to me, out of honor to them. 

[RavenholmZombie 1,330]

If you know the gift-giver won't react well or you are uncertain, then it's best to not say anything. Just accept the gift, give a nice smile, and either give it away or exchange it for something else later on.

If you know the gift-giver will be understanding, then be honest (not mean, just honest).

I had to do this in the past when my grandparents got me some clothes that were too small. They were understanding and gave me the receipt so I could exchange them.

[TBD 17,256]

I take it as it is. Nothing else.

[Samurai Equine 52,315]

Every gift is different. If it's something made from scratch, you should probably honor that gift as much as possible. Even if you don't like it, swallow your pride, change your mind, and be thankful that you mean enough to them to put some hard work into a hand-made item. (Unless they've made it clear that it was not made with a lot of effort and/or they don't care what you do it with it).

But outside of gifts like that...

You don't have to tell someone to their face that you don't like the gift they gave you.
But on the other hand, it is a gift. Once it's been given to you, you have the legal right to do whatever you want with it, including throw it out or try to exchange it for something else. It's your property, you should be allowed to as you please with it.

And if the gift-giver finds out?
Well, if they were a real friend, they wouldn't care that much. Moreover, a true friend doesn't hinge the longevity of your friendship on whether or not you kept that gift. At that point, it's no longer true friendship, it's a test to see what you'll do with an item they gave you. Likewise, if they are going to make a big deal about how it was bought with THEIR money and they should've had a say in what you do with it, then they shouldn't have wasted their time and money like that. That's not being generous, that's being an indian giver. Gifts should never be a bargaining chip to control people and/or what they do with said gift. Ever.

Family falls under the same rules, but hopefully there is less room to worry about this.
Usually, family members are closer to you than friends. Ideally, the both of you should be able to talk about it casually, and it shouldn't matter if either of you isn't happy with the gifts you got. You're family. It should be a no-pressure situation.
Once upon a time, my uncle and I wanted to exchange the Christmas gifts we got each other. He got me a CD holder for a 3rd time in a row, and I got him a music album he didn't want. I was trying to think of a way to bring it up since I didn't have the receipt (he usually packages those with his gifts, just in case). And just as I was thinking of it, he asked me if he could exchange that music album for something else. We were both cool with it because it wasn't that big a deal to us.

In short, it's the thought that counts.
And anyone who gives a gift should know that in advance.

Spoiler

Although, I am actually more sentimental than I care to admit.

If anyone gives me a gift I don't like, and I don't feel as close to them as family, then I at least keep it for a short while before doing something with it.

You don't have to keep a gift forever, just until it depreciates in value.
Eventually, the gift-giver will make enough money to match the amount they spent on it. Or if it's a hand-made gift, it's not like they'll never do a custom craft project ever again. By the time they think about doing another project, that gift probably doesn't matter anymore. If they have the energy to keep making stuff, then they probably aren't tired from that gift anymore.

 

Edited February 19, 2020 by Samurai Equine

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,941]

That be very hard to tell a best friend  

[Splashee 28,566]

Just don't do the mistake of taking the gift and put it somewhere they can see you didn't appreciate it (like in the dumpster/trash bin etc).

You can easily receive gifts. It is much harder to give gifts to someone.

[LassAmy 38]

This is kind of interesting. For the most part, I wouldn't say anything. But what if they spent a lot of money on said gift? I'd feel really bad for rejecting it but then again they can usually get a refund. But at the end of it all, I still don't think I'd ever have the heart to tell someone I didn't like their gift. 

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,941]

On 2022-10-13 at 3:49 AM, Splashee said:

Just don't do the mistake of taking the gift and put it somewhere they can see you didn't appreciate it (like in the dumpster/trash bin etc).

You can easily receive gifts. It is much harder to give gifts to someone.

The trash can leads to a devastating heart  

[Clawdeen 15,431]

If you don’t like it get rid of it at a later date. There’s no need to tell someone you don’t like it