The Corrupted Wish Game

[20% Cooler Than Cake 161]

Granted, but the ruby is so large, it crashes down to Earth and destroys the planet.

 

I wish to stop world hunger.

[Minepro 107]

Granted, you're the only one in the world whose hungry now.

 

I wish my Ipod is fixed so I can listen to music again.

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

Granted, though the ipod only plays music with me singing so horrible even Simon Cowell wishes I was never born singing. Oh yeah, will not accept any other songs you get from iTunes store or other source of music.

 

I wish for some enchiladas and tacos.

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Here you go. It's right there. Go on, help yourself and enjoy it. A lovely serving of enchiladas and tacos. Ignore all those dead people and the fact you cannot leave.

 

Eat. Your. Meal.

Eat it boy. Now eat the second course. And the third. How many more? Tell me how many stars are in the sky. The answer is the same.

You want to stop? That glue on your seat won't let you sit up. You don't want me to force feed you either.

Eat.

I can stop this though. You just need to say the words. Very certain words.

Those words are as follows.

"Please rip out my heart"

Only then will your meal end. Here is your fourth course.


I wish for a hug.

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted a man mad of lava gives you a hug and you burn to death.

 

I wish my hat was a dog

[20% Cooler Than Cake 161]

Granted, but the dog appears on your head, gets scared and urinates, then jumps off and gets run over by a cement truck.

 

I wish my house was made of candy canes.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Granted, but the house is constantly eaten by children and repairs are expensive.

 

I wish for real power armor.

[IronM17 5,387]

Granted, but the suit has a size of a barbie doll.

 

I wish I can play guitar.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Granted, but you can only play a one-stringed guitar.

 

I wish that I can be smart enough to make laser and plasma weapons.

[20% Cooler Than Cake 161]

Granted, in fact, you become so smart you eventually develop a dimension-jumper.  Unfortunately, a miscalculation leaves you stuck inside a picture of Dora the Explorer for all eternity.

 

I wish for every palm tree to mysteriously disappear.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Granted, but every one of those palm trees are replaced with pine trees and cause havoc with the natural environment of hundreds of native tropical and coastal species of animals causing a dramatic change in the food chain.

 

I wish that they thought about making a plasma gatling gun in Fallout 4.

[20% Cooler Than Cake 161]

Granted, but the weapon is far too OP, and the game stinks.

 

I wish for a small propeller.

[Minepro 107]

Granted, but it flies away the second you get it.

 

I wish I had about 1000 more YouTube subscribers.

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

Granted, your subscribers keeps growing to billions to the point that all servers from their HQ explodes causing a mass blackout worldwide and total anarchy.

 

I wish for Princess Flurry Heart to be my daughter. :3

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted but she hates you and moves to be with her mother

 

I wish for a bigger duck army muhuhahahaha

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. However, I just so happen to have a smaller army of weasels. Smaller. . . . but far more deadly.

My dancing minions assassinate your mallard hoard. Dash the eggs and leave your once great army rotting in the sun. It was easy. The ducks were just sitting around pooping and fornicating. Why'd you want an army of ducks? That's a terrible idea.

Anyway, to the victor, the spoils. Heart rippy time.


I wish for a coffee.

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted you spill it on yourself

 

I wish for free cheese

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

Granted, you get free cheese. Though it's expired and soon the whole world is in total chaos because all the cheese are expired.

 

I wish Dapper's Ducks bow down to my superiority and awesomeness.

Edited February 6, 2016 by PONinja4

[Minepro 107]

I'm gonna take that last line as your wish.

 

Granted, but the ducks are annoyingly following you everywhere you go, quacking constantly. Have fun with that.

 

I wish for an Xbox One.

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted but the Xbox gets the Red Ring of Death.

 

I wish for a million cakes.

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,828]

Granted, but Princess Celestia puts you in a dungeon, and gets all your cakes.

 

I wish to become the greatest Mobile Suit pilot of all time and that women go uber crazy because of my awesomeness.

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted but women go so crazy that they kill you and use your body parts to fill their altars to you.

 

I wish my corruption's weren't so dark

[20% Cooler Than Cake 161]

Granted, but all of your past corruptions happen to you.

 

I wish to be able to see into the future, then do things in the present to alter the future.

[Minepro 107]

Granted, but what you do never actually changes the future in the first place. Also you tend to get disturbing visions that slowly drive you insane from time to time.

 

I wish for my pillows to NOT REEK OF DOGS FOR ONCE!!!

[Dapper Charmer 591]

Granted they now reek of hot burning garbage forever

 

I wish for a diamond