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Is it stupid to fall in love over the internet?


Asher

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I've met someone that I really like on Brony Haven and I'm not sure wheather it's really weak and forever aloney to date over the internet.  Have you met anyone on the internet that you liked? 

 

I haven made enough posts to get onto the life advice page, fyi.

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I think the real question here is: Is it even dating?

IMO, dating is spending time with your girl/boyfriend, and doing things you enjoy together.

If your just talking via skype, is that really a relationship?

Edited by Luna Moonshire
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I've met someone that I really like on Brony Haven and I'm not sure wheather it's really weak and forever aloney to date over the internet.  Have you met anyone on the internet that you liked? 

 

I haven made enough posts to get onto the life advice page, fyi.

I know many couples that have never met irl-I don't think it's too bad. Just... If you don't love them already, it might be for the best to consider how high is the possibility of actually meeting with them irl.

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Thanks, guys.  It really helps to get reassurance.  I think that this might work out.  He seems really, really, really, nice. 

I appreciate the help! ^_^

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I do agree with Luna moonshire. I think it is perfectly fine to fall love with someone however how will you expect too ever spend time with them. Unless you both decide to meet or make plans to be together. For me if I was in a relationship I would want one to see the person you know what I mean.

Edited by Gone ϟ Airbourne
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I've met someone that I really like on Brony Haven and I'm not sure wheather it's really weak and forever aloney to date over the internet.  Have you met anyone on the internet that you liked? 

 

I haven made enough posts to get onto the life advice page, fyi.

That is the norm of todays world thats filled with technology. Studies show that at least 20% of relationships start on the internet. I think the better question to ask is it safe? im sure you heard the term catfish as well as the documentary turned tv show. If you have seen them on skype and no still images then i say go for it but approach with extreme caution

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Well, I met Dodie16 on another message board. I really wanted to fight my feelings at first, but the more I tried to fight them, the more I realized it was futile, and I told her how I felt. At first she was receptive, but then she got scared.... ....but then she was receptive again, and even flew out to visit me last Summer. We really hit it off; it was probably the happiest time of my life. And now I live 2 and a half hours from her, and things are looking very bright for us :3 So it can work! You just both have to work at it and be willing to accept that you aren't going to get to be around the other person a lot, at least at first.

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Well, I met Dodie16 on another message board. I really wanted to fight my feelings at first, but the more I tried to fight them, the more I realized it was futile, and I told her how I felt. At first she was receptive, but then she got scared.... ....but then she was receptive again, and even flew out to visit me last Summer. We really hit it off; it was probably the happiest time of my life. And now I live 2 and a half hours from her, and things are looking very bright for us :3 So it can work! You just both have to work at it and be willing to accept that you aren't going to get to be around the other person a lot, at least at first.

Now that I read that it really makes me want to tell the person I like how I feel, but I'm still afraid to say something about it... :(

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I wouldn't call it stupid at all. But I suggest to only be cautious when needed. Besides, most relationships first start online and a lot of people have the freedom to be in a relationship. So, I wouldn't call it stupid entirely.

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Honestly, I don't really think online relationships (I mean relationships that start on online dating sites.) work out very well. Unless, once you've established a relationship, you begin to meet them in real life, online relationships are pointless. This is just my opinion though. I've never dated anybody online, and I don't really want to. To me, going on a dating site is a last resort.

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I don't see anything wrong with having an online relationship. It's fine to want to connect to someone even if you never meet them IRL. However, I don't think people should ever call it "love". I don't believe you can actually fall madly in love with someone that you've never seen face to face.

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Now I don't know if you would call it stupid, but from personal experience people aren't who them seem online, thus I don't trust "online love". More than likely you would be better off trying to look for people in your area first to see if you can find "The One", but if all else fails I guess you could try online, just be very cautious.

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No, it's not stupid or forever-aloney at all. My parents met over the Internet, and that was before there was Skype and stuff like that. 

 

But they met in real life. If you're exclusively e-dating then I would say the relationship is going no where and fast. To draw out such an empty relationship would only end up hurting those emotionally involved. 

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You know whats funny? 

I've recently met someone i've really taken a liking to over the internet, but im too afraid to tell anyone. 

She's taken a strong liking to me too.

 

Now for the stupid part - she already has a fiancé. That's f*cked up. 

 

To answer the question though, no I dont think it is stupid. I dont like myself for it, especially considering the circumstances - but I just try and comfort myself with the fact she lives in Germany, and even if we wanted to, nothing would ever come of it. 

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No, it's not stupid at all, love is love.

These people you fall in love with, are actually people. Just because they're on the internet doesn't change a thing about their personalities and who they are. (kinda)

Edited by Wubsie
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The problem is it's all just words.  In my opinion the only way to truly experience anything with anyone and get to really know them is in the real world where you both have contact with each other and must place your trust in each other.  I mean unless you send cash to them or something trust is usually a non issue online.

 

Don't get me wrong, I think the internet is a great way to meet people and get to know people, but I think there's a difference between learning a bunch of facts about a person while they're escaping from the world online and really knowing them and how they act under stress in the real world.  I guess what I'm saying is to get to really know a person you need to know how they fare in the face of adversity and that's something I don't think you can really gauge simply by talking.

 

So is it stupid?  Maybe, but since when is love dictated by whether or not it's smart or stupid anyway?  My only advice would be to be cautious because you probably know a lot less about someone over the internet than you might think you do

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I agree with Luna Moonshire and GoneAirbourne

 

I don't really see a problem with loving someone over the internet.  But when it comes to having relationships, I think that's a different story.  Love is a delicate word, but if by someone's definition, they "love someone" over the internet, I don't think that's stupid at all.

 

However, when it comes to actual dating, I believe that a very crucial component of a relationship is physical interaction.  While the idea of a long distance relationship can have this cutesy feel to it, I think you can't really have a great relationship without seeing each other in person and sharing a physical connection.  I feel that everyone has emotional AND physical needs from a relationship that should be satisfied when they want to be really happy with someone.  Now before you jump at me by saying, "WAIT, Are you saying that everyone needs sex in order to have a good relationship?!"  No, I'm saying that you and your significant other should see each other.  Spend time doing things with each other and being in each other's presence.  THEN you can GET IT ONNNN.....Just kidding...I'm not what you think....really.

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Met my wife of ten years online at a Sailor Moon forum...we've been together over 11 and married about 10.5 now. I will say though that our relationship is a bit rare for online relationships. A lot fizzle quickly due to some of the common problems like learning everything about each other too quickly and losing the mystery.

 

I only have two real problems with online dating...and I am not saying this because I think your online sweetheart is doing this...just making the points

 

1. It is ridiculously easy to lie online. Frankly most people I meet online I think are probably full of BS in some manner or another

 

however...number 2 is the harder part for me

 

2. Lack of nonverbals...picture hanging with a friend or date and watching a movie at home. You sit there, comfortably silent and chill...maybe breaking the silence to laugh or talk or whatever...you don't have that online at all. You have to be non=stop talking or it can be very awkward real quick. And I think I have seen many times couples online divulge their entire too quickly and end up losing all mystery of the other

 

TL;DR - no you aren't stupid...just be cautious

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Falling in love over the Internet is just fine, but it's important to keep in mind the fact that you don't actually see most of the person you're interested in. In most cases, you don't get to see their personal quirks, flaws, biases, and shortcomings, because all you can see is what they willingly put online. By all means, don't let this stop you, but don't expect the person to be as much of a flawless angel as they may appear.

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I've met someone that I really like on Brony Haven and I'm not sure wheather it's really weak and forever aloney to date over the internet.  Have you met anyone on the internet that you liked? 

 

I haven made enough posts to get onto the life advice page, fyi.

Its not weird at all, haha! :) I have actually done the same thing over RP. ^^ Successfully. And he was another brony too. The internet is a wonderful thing. :3

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To answer that question:

 

No. Stupid is to cut trees down, turn them into paper, and write 'Save the trees!' on that same paper.

   Love is felt, so it can and cannot be located in the action folder. The action folder is where you put your actions, the actions that made what you  are today.

I say love can and cannot be in that folder because:

1) Love is something you  feel, experience, give, and receive. By being so, it is BEING, so it is EXISTING, and therefore is something that is cast on other subject which will suffer a consequence of that action under the form of love;

2) It cannot be an action because you cannot phisicaly cast it, or consciously  cast it. Since it is abstract, and as a feeling, you cannot take control of it, furthermore, you cannot act with the intention of love, but subconsciously act by love, or influenced by it.

 

The conclusion of  this, is that you can't say it is stupid since love is a feeling, and, as you might know, feelings are not stupid, but the people who call it stupid, are acting STUPID.

 

There is also a softer answer for you: Love is transited through hormones and electromagnetic waves, so it is simple that  you fall in love throught the internet. The complexity of this matter still fascinates me, and maybe I'll give you a normal answer when I don't feel inspired.

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