Is it stupid to fall in love over the internet?

[PWLotus 0]

It's not stupid at all to fall in love with someone over the internet. As a matter of fact, you're getting to know their personality before their looks, so it would have a slightly better chance of being a better relationship.

 

However, it is dangerous.

 

What you need to worry about, is that they could be telling lies about what they're like.

 

More importantly, you need to know that it's a real person, and not just someone sending you old photos of past victims, and saying they're doing things as the person you think they are, while they're actually sitting in a chair eating cheese puffs and smelling funny.

 

As long as you know it's a real person, and they're telling the truth about what they're like, then go for it.

 

It's not stupid it all, as long as you're careful.

[Rainbow_Scratch 16]

I don't know about you but internet/long-distance relationships aren't really my thing. But if you really like someone, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

[Zacharias 191]

It's not stupid at all to fall in love with someone over the internet. As a matter of fact, you're getting to know their personality before their looks, so it would have a slightly better chance of being a better relationship.

 

However, it is dangerous.

 

What you need to worry about, is that they could be telling lies about what they're like.

 

More importantly, you need to know that it's a real person, and not just someone sending you old photos of past victims, and saying they're doing things as the person you think they are, while they're actually sitting in a chair eating cheese puffs and smelling funny.

 

As long as you know it's a real person, and they're telling the truth about what they're like, then go for it.

 

It's not stupid it all, as long as you're careful.

Just ask the person to show himself/herself with a webcam, multiple times if you really think it's necessary. There really is no way to cheat that every time...

[PWLotus 0]

Just ask the person to show himself/herself with a webcam, multiple times if you really think it's necessary. There really is no way to cheat that every time...

Indeed.

 

I would suggest only using real time video chat as proof that they're real. Voice recordings can be edited easily, as well as video recordings. But they can't edit a real time video with responses.

[Killian Jones 2,653]

I find the entire concept rather silly. 

 

The problem is, real love, the actual feeling of liking someone in this way is difficult to achieve. Especially the real life kind of love where chemicals are exchanged.

 

The thing you have to do, is have a much deeper relationship, talking is more important. And finding something more. It is quite difficult  You can easily really like someone. But is it love? I would think if it works out, it will likely be a deeper relationship if it works out.

 

But there are problems. First off, the chances are the other side is probably lying, and lying a lot. And feelings may be muddled. Feedback is difficult if the other person refuses to be honest. And it happens quite often, people in online friendships often tell awful lies.

[Nothing&NoOne 695]

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world she didn't exist.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Nothing&NoOne

[Homura Akemi 974]

I think that it is normal, but don't go overboard. I know a guy from the real world who has an online girlfriend and already claims they will marry. Romeo and Juliet syndrome? No thanks!

[Champion RD92 8,655]

Trust me, never fall in love with someone over the internet, especially if they don't like you back. I've fallen in love with like three people on the internet before, and it was stupid and all it did was cause me pain.

[Pinkazoid 3,493]

I think the real question here is: Is it even dating?

IMO, dating is spending time with your girl/boyfriend, and doing things you enjoy together.

If your just talking via skype, is that really a relationship?

 

To me it's finding someone who can appreciate you for who you really are, judgement based on who you truly are, and not what others make of you, how many actual successful relationships do you see for teenagers in reality?

 

Call me pathetic as you please, but the reason that I prefer online dating over anything is because in what I call a successful relationship, you start in a plain canvas, they paint you by your likes, interests, opinions, feelings, before you truly move on to anything. I hardly see that ever happen in real life.

 

While it may be not the most amazing thing to brag about, I consider it still a relationship. Stupid may be perhaps, but I honestly find it more preferable. 

[NomDeSpite 452]

Absolutely not. It isn't stupid to fall in love over the internet. In fact, while this may raise a few eyebrows, I would actually prefer to meet a lover via the internet than real life. When I meet women in real life that I think I may be interested in dating, I always try to find their Facebook profile or other online profile. Why? Because the aspects of a person that come through most clearly on the internet are their words, their thoughts, their desires. It's easier to tell who a person is on the inside over the internet. And that matters greatly to me, because I do NOT want someone superficial or someone whose appearance and substance contradict one another. I don't want to be misled.

 

Another appealing aspect of falling in love on the internet is the longing aspect of it. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is certainly true for me. Feelings of melancholy yearning can keep your imagination heightened and can make the relationship more emotionally intense. It can make it seem almost like a fantasy tale. Having that person within driving distance of where you live totally kills that aspect. 

 

I am aware that there are liars on the internet. I am not one of them. I don't lie. I am wholly authentic.

 

I second the posters who mentioned the importance of meeting an online friend/significant other offline, both to get a better understanding of how they are and to keep the relationship strong (through activities and whatnot). But the internet is still a fantastic romance tool, despite its inherent flaws. No one who uses it should experience any feelings of shame or doubt.

[SCS 7,445]

It's not stupid at all. It just doesn't work for everyone. I met a girl on the internet four years ago that, in 2010, I thought I had fallen in love with. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. It turned into a living hell for me later on, because I had no idea what I was doing. There was conflict between us and I ended up becoming depressed and suicidal because I was looking at everything in the wrong way. I only finally freed myself of my self-inflicted hell of the way I was looking at my situation with her a few months ago by finally moving on.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

I met my wife online, so yeah.. but it's all up to personal opinion, there is one thing though, you have to be really careful with finding "love" or w/e online, as you never really know whether the pony you are in "love" with is real or if they are hiding behind a mask and such. I've had trouble with that in the past, so yeah... Just be careful, one more thing is, if you can't see the person in real life at all (as in visiting each other etc) then it isn't worth it, as you'll never know whether or not they will be 100% honest, loyal and trustworthy to you, or whether or not they'll be the complete opposite...

[Clover Heart 978]

My best friend and her fiancée fell in love over the internet.

 

I think it really depends on the kind of person you are. If you're the kind who needs the physical aspects of the relationship and to actually meet the person and if you're the kind of person who can't handle being apart, maybe it would be good to call it quits. However, if you're both okay with only seeing each other over the internet and can find ways to enjoy yourself there, it might be worth trying.

 

One could also argue that meeting this way is better for a relationship. Rather than relying physical attraction and enjoying the things you're doing together as opposed to enjoying the person, all you have to go on is talking with each other, and you really get to know who that person is and how they get along with you. However, that's not to say that physical attraction and doing things together aren't important. That all depends on your priorities and what you're comfortable with. You need to figure that out before you're able to figure out if this type of relationship is going to work for you.

[Keylise<3 488]

I don't really think you can have a relationship that is 100% internet based, but I don't think it's stupid to love someone online.

I have been in love with two people on the internet (not at the same time)

[Gdrlowmgqwmhopqw 107]

Well, it seems to have worked out for quite a few people.. Just that, eventually you have to take it further   A good example would be PewDiePie.

 

Good thing i don't have to worry about such things as i have never met a person who i actually liked.

[Starflower 323]

Been there, done that. But it wasn't really "internet-based" completely, but for the most part it was. I fell in love with a former high school classmate during my freshman year of college, and I actually thought it would be impossible. But it did seem to work out for the better. That relationship lasted a year and 9 months. How did I made it last that much? I don't have a clue. 

 

Recently, I'm following the same path as that one towards a different guy, but I just think it's a simple crush that'll get over quickly. 

 

If you can make it last, if you can actually commit to the relationship, and for the most part, keep in touch, then internet relationships can last. My previous one failed because there was more internet than irl, so we actually had problems seeing each other irl. But alas, I was a young, poor college freshman back then. But really, people think these kinds of relationships don't work out, but it depends on the couple and their willing to keep the spark alive, even if they're hundreds of miles away from each other. 

[Dreamsong 253]

Love is a beautiful thing, wherever you find it, I would say cherish it for _however_ long it may last.  <3

 

 

And just like Twilight learning to see the value in friends and friendship and learning herself how to be a good friend to her friends, being a good boyfriend or girlfriend takes practice and learning from one's mistakes.  And online or in-person, we're always learning if we are seeking to do so.

 

The biggest trouble with online relationships I've been in is that many of the guys (and girls) I've dated online have tried to be something they weren't... and didn't really care to be IRL.  (I've always felt that online and RP lives can help us to practice and make habitual the core essences we wish to become like.

 

But knowing this, you can still enjoy beauty and joy where you find it, for however long it lasts. <3

 

 

Long-term relationships seem to happen when both parties are ready for one, (and really being ready for one is a little different than wanting to be ready for one).

 

And the only way to be ready... is to date!    Learn about what you want, what you don't want, how to blend your wants with another's and still retain your integrity and dignity even if there are storms blowing around you. <3

 

 

 

(I'm currently dating a guy I met online, and I thank the stars we met -- and I really wouldn't have any idea how or where to meet a guy like him outside of the Internet.

[~Sugar Sprinkles~ 637]

I don't know, I guess it varies. I know someone who fell in love with this guy over the internet who is from Australia and actually flew and met him and he was the same looking, same acting guy. And they're in perfect love.

[-BleachedOne- 233]

I'd be inclined to think so, after how most of mine have turned out, but I guess it really just depends on the person. To be honest though, I'd say I PREFER online dating over irl relationships.

[Zygen 6,065]

I dunno I don't think its stupid exactly, but I just think that distance is a big issue thats hard for me to overlook personally. I've never fallen in love with anyone online, just because I don't tend to get to know any females online very well, not to mention I don't get to close to people online anyways.

 

Not to mention online you don't get to spend any actual time together, so I find it harder to fall in love really.

 

Its kinda like having a look distance relationship more or less, however you should actual meet up at some point if you do date online.

 

I just find it hard to fall in love with someone I've never really seen IRL before, and I can't spend any face to face time with them somewhere either. Distance is just a big problem in my mind, but thats not to say nobody else can have a long distance relationship.

 

So while I probably wouldn't fall in love with anyone online, I don't think its really weird. Long as your in love and you know you can trust the person.

[SonOfTheNorthe 412]

Ahh, the good ol' years, when I was just a young'un.

 

I had talked to this girl in some chat box, and then we exchanged numbers and we talked to each other on the phone, and we broke it off about a week later. Yeah, it was terrible.

[Coffee Cream 74]

Aww well I don't think dating over the internet is something wrong. It's a great way to meet and get to know people. But if you have a real interest in this person it would be a great idea to meet in person... just be careful that's all since you never know who's behind the screen.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

Some people have articulated my point far better than I will, but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway.

 

Feelings aren't stupid. If you genuinely feel something at the time, even if you might not feel it later, does not invalidate it at all. We as people are constantly changing, and so to are our feelings, emotions, and doubts. As we mature from young to old, we transform into different persons. But our old feelings were never stupid, even if we were young and felt something on the internet. Sometimes, feelings last, sometimes they do not. It is regardless of the medium in which you chose to have your relationship. The reality of the matter is that many relationships fail regardless. Real life and internet both have their fair share of problems.

 

Do not abide by a set standard. Everyone is different. If having an internet relationship is better for you, go for it. If not? Well, that's fine too. But if you're not into them, do not judge others who are, and honestly and truly find the internet as their sole method of finding people.

 

That said though, I'm not going to say that the concept itself isn't flawed and say: "Go for it! Be yourself!" and all that cliche stuff. You  do have to be very careful before entering one of those. Make sure you trust the person. I've entered a few internet relationships myself, and have always made sure I've webcammed with the person, had a voice chat, a plethora of pictures, and have received their personal addresses and information. (All in exchange for mine, of course, and with phone numbers) Never once were those people lying about who they were, or did I have my personal information compromised. So it worked well for me as I think I have good judgement in people. Just be sure you do too.

 

One person? I even met in real life many times. The truth about an online relationship is that it simply cannot stay online forever for most people. Meeting online is a great place to establish bonds and break the ice if you've got a trustworthy person on your hands, but eventually, you're going to have to take it one step further. Meet them several times, and once you've determined that you're a good match, then they can move near you. From then on, it just proceeds as a normal relationship would.

 

Some people can't stand to be apart, and some can wait. It just all depends on your personality. As I have had a sheer and utter lack of people being interested in me in real life, few friends, and have been all around lonely... for me, making friends and falling in love over the internet is kind of all I can do. It keeps me from going insane with loneliness. And with those relationships I had, I was happy and truly loved some of them, even if they failed. We may not have seen each other much, but when we did, it was really special. It makes you appreciate just how much it means to have a person actually be with you. To touch them, to feel their warmth, and to hug and kiss them. It's really a special feeling if you've barely experienced it, and feels so much more meaningful in that sense. So that's an advantage of that.

 

Currently, I'm not yet in love, but waiting for somebody who I may or may not feel romantic feelings about to visit me. Once that happens, we can determine how to proceed. I don't mind meeting you online first, but if I'm going to start something with you these days, I'd rather just wait for real life first. If you have the time and commitment to make it to where I live, then you're already one step above the rest. Even people in real life. I think that's the best way for me, but not for everyone, of course. 

 

So if you're going to enter a relationship, online or not, what I'm saying is... just be sure you're serious about it. Don't just enter relationships with others willy-nilly. Take the time to think about what exactly about this person would make them a worthy companion. 

Edited March 18, 2013 by Princess Arylett

[Mephala 2,633]

It's not weird, as everyone's met someone on the Internet they've had a small inkling of romantic emotion for. However, you're walking a fine line; Internet relationships can be very fufilling or a disaster, depending on how you deal with it.

 

For one, many people rush into an Internet relationship after a few months. Bad idea-you need to get to know the person very well before you decide to take it further. Keep in mind that infatuation is very different from love, and can end up saddling you in something you really don't want.

 

Take it easy for now, but stay cautious. Have you seen the person for sure? People can send you fake photos. Make sure they are who you see them as. 

 

I don't mind Internet relationships, having been in one, but they can be great. Just ensure your feelings are as strong as you think and it's not a short term fancy.

[Azura 1,107]

It's basically flirting with somepony of the opposite sex through the internet. Relationships online aren't something you'd want to build up from, especially when you might be on the opposite side of the world or that the person who you're talking to isn't what he/she actually is.

 

Though having relationships online is something that could improve on how you approach somepony, maybe learning from your mistakes so that you won't make the same mistakes when you're actually dating somepony in real life.

 

And no, falling in love through the internet is not dumb or stupid in any way.