General Chat Thread

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

I just woke up, too, and I have school later at around 10:30, so, yeah, there's that.

[Lil'Cinnamon 1,587]

I just woke up, too, and I have school later at around 10:30, so, yeah, there's that.

 

Oh fun, is it college? Cause you seem old enough for college. I need to do some schooling and such and go for the career I want. Right now I work Walmart, and get stuff thrown at me. I don't wanna be there for the rest of my life!

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

Oh fun, is it college? Cause you seem old enough for college. I need to do some schooling and such and go for the career I want. Right now I work Walmart, and get stuff thrown at me. I don't wanna be there for the rest of my life!

Yes, college. It's hell on earth, especially since my parents are always droning on me and how horribly I'm doing at college. Then they always say that I'm bringing all of this anguish on myself and how I'm not really "suffering" in my life. I know what they mean, I just don't like it when they always mock me in the my face. it really hurts.

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

Yes, college. It's hell on earth, especially since my parents are always droning on me and how horribly I'm doing at college. Then they always say that I'm bringing all of this anguish on myself and how I'm not really "suffering" in my life. I know what they mean, I just don't like it when they always mock me in the my face. it really hurts.

Uh, excuse me for this, but for some reason I feel like they're wrong somewhere along the line.

 

It's your fault for feeling down, yet, they apparently always go on about how terrible you're doing as opposed to maybe trying to find ways to help? And they actually tell you straight up its just in your head without seemingly at least trying to get a better understanding of it?

Yeah, sure sounds like it's all being made up by you. >.>

 

Uh, if you don't mind me asking, did you choose to go to college or was that decision made by someone else? And with that did you even want to in the first place?

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

Uh, excuse me for this, but for some reason I feel like they're wrong somewhere along the line.

 

It's your fault for feeling down, yet, they apparently always go on about how terrible you're doing as opposed to maybe trying to find ways to help? And they actually tell you straight up its just in your head without seemingly at least trying to get a better understanding of it?

Yeah, sure sounds like it's all being made up by you. >.>

 

Uh, if you don't mind me asking, did you choose to go to college or was that decision made by someone else? And with that did you even want to in the first place?

I wanted to go to college to pursue a few different careers, but the problem is is that I can't really decide what exactly I want to be. I mean, I would like to either make graphics or video games for a living or, if i knew how to do it, I'll just be a YouTuber trying to do what he likes to do and make a living out of it. But, my parents said that those are stupid careers that will make no money whatsoever. I know that they mean well, but whenever they repeat the same reasons over and over again, I can't help but feel like that's all that they care about rather than what is going on with me right now.

 

I know I sound like I'm ranting over my feelings and I know that you don't really care and even if you do would still feel like you don't care because that's the mindset my parents burned into my head: No one cares about my feelings. They really don't understand how I'm trying to do something that I think personally is emotionally fulfilling but they want me to do something financially fulfilling. That's it. Also, I watched this video from GradeAUnderA about how to do parenting correctly, and I totally agree with him. When I saw that video I was like: "My god, my parents are just like that and they don't even realize it or care that they are being that way. Thank you for having the nerve to say what I wish I could say, GradeAUnderA." Anyways, I know I'm just ranting about my parents and they always shove the apathy back at me by saying what a lazy little crap I am whenever I'm home. They're always saying how all I ever do when I'm at home is watch TV and, when or if given the chance, play video games. I wish I could say that the only reason I do that is because I want to relax and do something I actually like. I also feel like everything they want me to do is so that they can tell everyone at work what a great son I am. That's it, they just want to brag about me. The only problem for them is that I have nothing to brag about other than my dedication to this theater group that I love so much even in spite of my recent reputation in there, i still want to help out as much as I can. Seriously though, I wish my parents would just let me be. THe only problem with that is that they always threaten to just kick me out of the house if I wanna do that. Now, before you say just up and leave, here are a few problems: I have no job whatsoever. And, no, dont just say that I can just walk into a restaurant and ask for a job--no, if I'm going to have a job, I dont want one that involves having to cook anything cuz I dont wanna smell like fired food after work. Another thing: I have no where to go to. No one in my family wants to adopt a homeless 19-year-old bum who just left his parents' house over the fact that he's not happy, because really, would you give a crap about someone who feels like their feelings are being suppressed? That's what I thought. So, basically, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, the rock being my nagging parents and the hard place being the outside world.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

@, question: what are your thoughts on referring to every Eeveelution as a puppy? 

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

I'm going to spoiler this wall cause I may have accidentally sorta started ranting with you somewhere along the line. xD
Oops.

 

I wanted to go to college to pursue a few different careers, but the problem is is that I can't really decide what exactly I want to be. I mean, I would like to either make graphics or video games for a living or, if i knew how to do it, I'll just be a YouTuber trying to do what he likes to do and make a living out of it. But, my parents said that those are stupid careers that will make no money whatsoever. I know that they mean well, but whenever they repeat the same reasons over and over again, I can't help but feel like that's all that they care about rather than what is going on with me right now.

Video games are pretty finicky and that's actually why I personally chose to drop it as a potential career choice. I'm sure its not impossible, but with how it was described to me to get into it, it wasn't a very safe choice. All that time learning, then moving out to where its actually prevailent, then actually having to get a job, which means being chosen among who knows how many other people trying to do the same thing. It all seems a bit too much imo.
I wouldn't say its not profitable like them though. If you work hard enough at it you can make it work very damn well.
 
There's nothing wrong with being a graphic designer at all, what. Plenty of places need people like that to make things for them, big and small alike. I can't talk no how easy it is to actually make a living on it as I not only do not do anything in that area, but im also rather void of this type of knowledge generally.
Honestly, they should be pretty lenient on you doing what you really love. In the least not just outright say that its "stupid" to do, but just show their disapproval and still be for you following them through. Maybe even trying to convince you a bit otherwise in ways that aren't more harmful than not.

Youtube is the one thing I would actually advise against as well. It's like trying to be a Twitch streamer. Sure, its possible, but that's something you need to REALLY work towards while following something else. Directly going for it with nothing else is just a plan for trouble, imo. This is how I am even with my music dream. I want to make it big in the music industry with what I make. I dream to be on stage one day playing it out to people. However, that's really far-fetched and I can't just assume I'll make it. I have to have a back up and that back up is me trying to get into IT or something just in case I never make it in music. If I do? Then I drop what I'm doing elsewhere and focus on music full time if I still deem it viable and stuff.
All this said, go for it if you really want to, but I'd still say to at least be doing something else to fall back on just in case.

 

I know I sound like I'm ranting over my feelings and I know that you don't really care and even if you do would still feel like you don't care because that's the mindset my parents burned into my head: No one cares about my feelings.

Ranting is fine, yo. Rant all you want, everyone needs to do it from time to time and keeping stuff bottled up is usually pretty bad for ya.
Well, i can only really care as much as "random person on the internet" can. I care enough to actually read your woes and talk on them. I have a small bit this problem with my own mother, so I can sort of relate to you in this.
Ok, so even your friends don't care for your feelings? That's extremely harsh and odd for some parents to say. I will say, though, that the general mindset is not a bad one when it comes to trying to protect yourself a bit from others who are indeed out to put you down for any given reason. In that, I mean don't be so gullible to believe that everyone is a friend and don't let anyone take advantage of you due to your feelings and whatnot. Too much of that, however, would still come out bad and one can easily become a person who can't let anyone close to them because of it. So, its like, don't just assume the absolute best out of anyone you don't actually know well, but don't like, close yourself off completely. Is how I see it, personally.
 

They really don't understand how I'm trying to do something that I think personally is emotionally fulfilling but they want me to do something financially fulfilling. That's it. Also, I watched this video from GradeAUnderA about how to do parenting correctly, and I totally agree with him. When I saw that video I was like: "My god, my parents are just like that and they don't even realize it or care that they are being that way. Thank you for having the nerve to say what I wish I could say, GradeAUnderA."

That is sort of how my mother is, actually (though, she's a bit more like this when it comes to just getting jobs as opposed to full on careers. Always pushing for me to find a job. Any job. It doesn't matter what it is, so long as money is coming in and I really do not like that idea. I need to be able to tolerate what I'm doing for that money. Hating yourself and your life just so you can have some money is not worth it at all imo). It is not a bad thing to aim for, but at the same time you also need to balance it out with being something you can actually like to do for that long. After all, you will be doing it a lot. As I said, I chose to drop game design and game coding for that, however, I still would like to get into IT/Computer Science because I quite like computers. I'm not super tech savvy, no, but I do sit on them all day. I actually quite like normal coding and would love to learn it. I absolutely hate most physical work, even more so when its actually hard work. And to make it better, such jobs are not scarce at all. So, I get the financial security as well as being able to do something I personally would like.
Also, a good chunk of parents are still in that timeline where things back then were done so much more differently than now. Being like that back then wasn't unheard of and most just sorta went with it, I guess. Like, if your dad had a successful business then you'd just take over once you were of age if this was his wish as opposed to finding your own thing and you'd like it. That whole mindset is extremely stupid to me as well and its actually why me and my mother have so many arguments. It doesn't make sense to me that your child just 100% has to follow everything you say in this area no matter what. At least its not over religion like it is with my mother. >.>
I would say just sorta go with it until you can actually move out in the future, but like, that's pretty bothersome to do. Sadly, its also the only way you'd get peace from them right now. :/
 

Anyways, I know I'm just ranting about my parents and they always shove the apathy back at me by saying what a lazy little crap I am whenever I'm home. They're always saying how all I ever do when I'm at home is watch TV and, when or if given the chance, play video games. I wish I could say that the only reason I do that is because I want to relax and do something I actually like. I also feel like everything they want me to do is so that they can tell everyone at work what a great son I am. That's it, they just want to brag about me. The only problem for them is that I have nothing to brag about other than my dedication to this theater group that I love so much even in spite of my recent reputation in there, i still want to help out as much as I can. Seriously though, I wish my parents would just let me be. THe only problem with that is that they always threaten to just kick me out of the house if I wanna do that.

It's a bit scary how similar this is all becoming, tbh. I get a small bit of lazy calling from my mother, but she mostly calls me selfish due to how I just will never do anything she says without wanting at least some basic knowledge on it. "Come drive down here today." "Uh, for what?" "Does it matter? I said to drive down here. I have stuff for you to do." Like, is it so hard to just give a small explanation of what you'd like to do or have done? I just don't get it.
Same with the only watching tv bit, actually. I get exactly that but with me and sitting on my computer. Let me guess, if you say you want to just chill and enjoy yourself for a bit they then give that whole spiel about how "you don't do anything anyway, you don't need to relax"? Cause it sure sounds like where that's going.
My mother also gives me that same shit from time to time. Not often, mind you, but it does come up. I don't understand that one either. How what your kid does relates back to you in such a way. Sure, if they come out being some troublemaker then yeah, you must have done some bad parenting or didn't do something right. But, otherwise? There's no need to pressure someone just so THEY look good to others. It's quite silly.
Wow, being kicked out over wanting to do theatre...That's just sad. Even worse is that you can't actually just go off and do it anyway due to the whole "not able to survive right now" thing. So stupid why they can't be for you in pursuing that if you like it so much. I can only assume why they feel that way over it too. I just hope it's not that reason.
 

Now, before you say just up and leave, here are a few problems: I have no job whatsoever. And, no, dont just say that I can just walk into a restaurant and ask for a job--no, if I'm going to have a job, I dont want one that involves having to cook anything cuz I dont wanna smell like fired food after work.

I was actually not going to say that simply on the fact that it is not the option for everyone.

Trust me, I would never suggest that. I almost refuse to work in fast food. It's literally my complete last ditch place to go. The only exception to this is if the place is like, something more than just fast food like McDonalds or Wendy's.
Ive done just enough bullshit that I know some things are literally out of the question when it comes to jobs. I absolutely refuse to go back into construction again as of now because of how you always come home dirty as fuck, always tired as fuck, goddamn covered in so much shit that you can literally feel you skin bend at every point. Just, ugh. It doesn't help I had a shit ass boss the one time I was in it as well shit ass equipment to use because of him, but yeah. I totally feel you there, don't worry.
 

Another thing: I have no where to go to. No one in my family wants to adopt a homeless 19-year-old bum who just left his parents' house over the fact that he's not happy, because really, would you give a crap about someone who feels like their feelings are being suppressed? That's what I thought. So, basically, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, the rock being my nagging parents and the hard place being the outside world.

that is completely understandable and I'm pretty much in the same boat.
However...

would you give a crap about someone who feels like their feelings are being suppressed? That's what I thought.

You don't know enough on me to actually assume such a thing.
First off, you'd be surprised on who would care about this (Protip: its quite a lot, actually).
Second off, I would cause I have more or less the exact same problem, if not slightly worse.
Oh boy do I know how that is. Let me tell you.
You want suppression? Well, lets just start off with my sexuality and my mother's stance.
She's super religious. I'm bisexual (or curious, really). She does not believe those exists. At all. She told me this directly to my face in a hypothetical i asked. Bisexuals are just people who got hurt by their "correct gender to be attracted to" and chose to go to their own to feel safe and good again or something along those lines.
Gays? She literally hates them.
Literally.
Fucking.
Despises.
Them.
Everything about them she is against and so far that she even would rather not even be near them at all if she can. She wants nothing to do with them. Hell, even the ones that still go to church and try to follow Christianity are deemed fucking scum by her.
Her "best" friend? Well, I don't think they're really besties anymore, but they used to be. Then he came out. They sorta drifted off pretty hard. Sure, they still talk a little bit and whatnot, but nowhere near as much now from what I remember hearing her say on the phone to someone.
Where am I going with this? The fact that I can literally never come out to her and actually hope to be accepted. "I would love you, but I'd live my life knowing that you were going to Hell." She straight up told me that to my face in that hypothetical I asked as well. What kind of fucking mother does that to their child? How can you love me, but also know I'm going to hell? Why can't you just love me without that last bit? My whole family is pretty much like this. My grandmother flipped her shit over a fucking avatar on Facebook. I was simply using the KappaPride emote from Twitch.TV (Which is just a gay pride Kappa face and it was for the whole, legalization of gay marriage). Oh, no, you can't support gays or gay rights unless you're gay. Nope, not possible. The gist of what she said over it. Not to mention the whole one point about how anyone that is gay or bisexual should never come near me or my sister at all. Because we don't do that, she says. My mother also goes hard to question me on some of my online friends sexualities for this reason. because it would be so terrible for a guy to approach me in such a way. "I don't want no FAGGOT coming onto you."
It's a fucking terrible feeling to know that you literally can't even trust your own fucking mother (or family for that matter) to support and be ok with your way of life.

After that, there's the whole thing about me being genderfluid and actually leaning towards being full on trans. I'm biologically male and I actually somewhat hate that from time to time. ive come to learn that there's quite a lot about being female that I really love, however, I can't even slightly dip into it cause my family is so stuck on the basic gender stereotypes and religion that I'd be stoned for even thinking it.
"You're the man of the house..." You mean the "manual labor slave of the house"? I don't mind being called that since I am quite literally the man of the house since there are no other guys living here, but I sure as hell do not appreciate that being used to mean that I'm supposed to just be ok with doing literally everything around the house with no fucking thought otherwise at all just because "I'm the man". Hell, I don't even half want to be a man at all. But, with how everyone is with the whole sexuality thing, I know for a fact that wouldn't go over well at all. Surprisingly enough, my mother hasn't actually questioned me buying knee socks and thigh highs for some reason. She also didn't question ponies either.
I fear to actually do the voice training I want to do simply because I don't want to accidentally do it (or be stuck in it) around them cause that'd be fucking hell to explain. Same goes for actually trying to act as my oc, Haven, since her personality is one I want to adopt. A lady like persona in every way, with some level of joking too.
Now, I can't say this is super, super strong as some others that I know going through the same thing, but its still very much there and present.

So, there's two things being suppressed. Mighty big ones at that, if I do say so myself. So, never just assume that whoever you're talking to has no idea or experience on what you're on about cause they may have it worse than you. Not saying that I do, fyi (granted I do have it similar to you PLUS these two as well), but yeah. Also don't just assume they won't give two shits. I care enough to listen to you, talk back on it, and even rant with you a bit. Not everyone will do that, yeah, but that doesn't mean someone won't. It also doesn't hurt to ask around sometimes when needed.

 

 

I think I'm done now.

@, question: what are your thoughts on referring to every Eeveelution as a puppy? 

They can be called that if they are indeed young as they are still canines.

---

 

In other news

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Enigmatic CD get!

 

 

 

And he even signed it for me!

 

 

Shame I couldn't see him in person and hug him, but at least I can have him call me a butt and be disappointed in me not keeping up on my music as I should in Skype. :'^)

Edited August 1, 2016 by Synth

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

@,

 

Thanks, Synth. It really does help me get a lot off of my chest when I rant on this particular thread and it's even better when other members like you reach out to help--bonus points for sympathy. Basically, all I'm saying is: Thanks for taking the time to listen to my plight as well as taking the time to actually respond in a meaningful way. Thanks.

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

@,

 

Thanks, Synth. It really does help me get a lot off of my chest when I rant on this particular thread and it's even better when other members like you reach out to help--bonus points for sympathy. Basically, all I'm saying is: Thanks for taking the time to listen to my plight as well as taking the time to actually respond in a meaningful way. Thanks.

Not a problem at all, yo!

Glad to be able to help in some way. x)

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

@, I can't even begin to comprehend your musical preferences; all I ever listen to is:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znJz5bVYYRo

 

The only reason I remember it is because it's the song I listened to during the drive to my university orientation.

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

@, I can't even begin to comprehend your musical preferences; all I ever listen to is:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znJz5bVYYRo

 

The only reason I remember it is because it's the song I listened to during the drive to my university orientation.

Well, that song isn't too far from what I listen to, actually. At least, some of it.

 

Though, I'm decently varied in what I like.

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

Everything happens when I'm gone, doesn't it?

No, probably not.

 

Everybody doing well I hope?

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

Everything happens when I'm gone, doesn't it?

No, probably not.

 

Everybody doing well I hope?

I'm doing ok, I guess.

 

This computer building shit is kicking my ass though, holy hell.

 

I also wish I had a thing of W10 to put on here atm.

Edited August 2, 2016 by Synth

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

Finals week in college: No fun whatsoever. Even less fun with my parents hovering around me like vultures just waiting for me to screw up.

I also have another thing to say after reading my previous posts here. My parents, my mother mostly, always says how she doesn't like it when I hide things from her because it's the same as lying to her. Mainly, she's talking about my grades. The only reason that I hide my grades is usually because i know for a fact that they're shit and I don't want them loud mouthing me about what a terrible son I am every  time they see it. They always keep asking whether or not I need help when I clearly say that I don't want their help. I just to want to be a hindrance to my family. I wish that I could get them to stop worrying about my grades, but my parents keep saying that if I want them to stop worrying about my grades--and JUST my grades, mind you--then they'll just stop giving a shit about me ENTIRELY. Can you believe it? They'll stop caring about me just because I dont want them to see how awful my grades are.

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

Finals week in college: No fun whatsoever. Even less fun with my parents hovering around me like vultures just waiting for me to screw up.

I also have another thing to say after reading my previous posts here. My parents, my mother mostly, always says how she doesn't like it when I hide things from her because it's the same as lying to her. Mainly, she's talking about my grades. The only reason that I hide my grades is usually because i know for a fact that they're shit and I don't want them loud mouthing me about what a terrible son I am every  time they see it. They always keep asking whether or not I need help when I clearly say that I don't want their help. I just to want to be a hindrance to my family. I wish that I could get them to stop worrying about my grades, but my parents keep saying that if I want them to stop worrying about my grades--and JUST my grades, mind you--then they'll just stop giving a shit about me ENTIRELY. Can you believe it? They'll stop caring about me just because I dont want them to see how awful my grades are.

I know that feel to a degree as well. My mother hates if when I hide things from her as she wants to try and be my best friend or something, but like, a lot of stuff I'd ever want to tell her or would feel the need to tell someone would easily bring about some sort of argument or bothersome questioning or worse. As for grades...My mother always knew what mine were just cause she'd either force me to show her or had her own way to find out lmfao. Shit wasn't cash, yo.

 

Regardless, yeah, that's a bit waaay overkill for not worrying about grades. However, on the flip side grades are sorta important and its expected for parents to care highly on them. I guess in their minds its like, if you get bad grades and don't care then you'll only grow up to be a bum or something of the sort, which kinda leads to the whole, which could easily be seen as a lost cause in the future. Sorta like, if you don't care about yourself why should we. Super fucking harsh I know, but yeah.

 

Thankfully in this sort of case, you can actually survive without schooling if you know how to really get yourself out there and known in the working world. It's not impossible to work up to something very good. No idea how hard it actually is to pull off, but yeah. Could it be possible to maybe talk to them about doing that since school seems to not be for you?

 

---

 

In other news.

Coming in live from my newly built rig!

Uber MechaHaven is a live and kicking!~

 

So happy to have this pc finally running. Just a few small things to add on later and I'll be set!

[Kronos the Revenant 1,973]

JUST FINISHED MY SUMMER SEMESTER!!!!!! However, I still have a final draft of an essay to turn in on Friday. The strangeest thing is taht I don't have any classes on Friday. :crackle:

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

Uuuuuugh, I hate my internet speed...

 

If I had money to spend, that'd probably be top priority.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Uuuuuugh, I hate my internet speed...

 

If I had money to spend, that'd probably be top priority.

 

50mbps downstream, 5mbps upstream, <20ms ping up for me. Well, that's what it's supposed to be but my ISP lied to me and it's actually...

 

60mbps downstream, 6mbps upstream.

 

How bad is it?

Edited August 5, 2016 by Ganaram Inukshuk

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

50mbps downstream, 5mbps upstream, <20ms ping up for me. Well, that's what it's supposed to be but my ISP lied to me and it's actually...

 

60mbps downstream, 6mbps upstream.

 

How bad is it?

Well, I can't check right now accurately since a lot of bandwidth is being used by my family.

 

But, pretty bad.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Well, I can't check right now accurately since a lot of bandwidth is being used by my family.

 

But, pretty bad.

 

There was once a time where I could only ever be able to watch 360p videos (480p if you wait for it to even buffer) on a ~720p screen and watching 720p/1080p videos was out of the question, and that's with everyone else away from their computers, so I understand how painful it can be.

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

 

There was once a time where I could only ever be able to watch 360p videos (480p if you wait for it to even buffer) on a ~720p screen and watching 720p/1080p videos was out of the question, and that's with everyone else away from their computers, so I understand how painful it can be.

Oh yes, and how good it is for gaming it can be...

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

50mbps downstream, 5mbps upstream, <20ms ping up for me. Well, that's what it's supposed to be but my ISP lied to me and it's actually...

 

60mbps downstream, 6mbps upstream.

 

How bad is it?

1ms ping, 100 download, 100, upload.

 

In reality it shows to be about 1ms ping, 90+ download (max 95 i think), and 90 upload.

 

is what mine is.

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

Did a few tests.

 

30-40ms ping, 10-20 download, 1 upload.

 

Yay...

[LittleCutiePie 113]

rmekjcnjkrewnsjej c dkewmqk awesome..... 

[Sir Punicpunch 1,688]

rmekjcnjkrewnsjej c dkewmqk awesome..... 

Well, I understood one-forth of what you said.

 

And the emoticon.