Thoughts on Bullying, Bullies, & getting Bullied.

[Onylex 2,837]

Im bullied quite a bit and I usually don't let it get to me but, today I just couldn't help it.

Someone had taken a sketch book of mine that I had been drawing in for about a year and a half just to tare every page out of it and trow it away. 

 

I spent 20 mins looking for it only to later find out that it had been thrown in the trash...

 

When I had told the teacher what had append, she kind of just brushed it off as it being no big deal. Now I now a lot of you aren't artist and may be thinking - "well so what, it was just a sketch book" but, to me it was more than that. 

 

I had put a lot of my time and effort into each and every sketch I did, sometimes even spending more than an hour on some of them. There were actually quite a lot of drawings in it that I was very proud of so you can only imagine to know how I felt when I saw that it was ripped up and thrown in the trash like that. _{(even more so do to the fact that when I told the teacher about it, she just brush it off as if it were nothing to "freakout over")}

 

I hadn't even bothered to go back and pick out what I could form the trashcan in fear that I would be laughed at for how pathetic I would have looked...

 

Bulling is something that affects a lot of people, Im even willing to bet that some point in time its even had an influence on most of you if not, all of you. 

 

Bulling is also the cause of a lot of depression, suicides, and school shootings. 

 

Now I don't mean to bring old threads back to life but, even both and @Mikami had created a thread about an 11 year old boy who tried to take his own life due to being bullied for liking MLP.  

 

1. A Brony in need
   
2. This poor kid...
   

 

So, what are your guys thoughts/opinions on bullying, bullies, and getting bullied?  

  

[MorningFlash 214]

I'm not particularly supposed to use language on this site, but f**k bullying and all it brings. It never does a person any good or brings anypony satisfaction. 

[Scootalove 10,689]

Frankly, I think that bullies are cowards who ridicule and pick on people just for the thrill of it where they think that the person they are bullying is a waste of space and not worthy of life. They can effect a person physically and mentally, I just think that bullying in general is something that should have ended long ago. Sadly, it's everywhere.

[Deesinn 393]

I think bullying in itself has a lot of benefits to the victim, if the victim chooses to stand up for him/herslef.  If the victim chooses not to out of fear, than it's not good at all, and can lead people to do things they normally would not do, like kill themselves. 

 

I was bullied, but I had enough and knocked a dude right in the face.  They stopped bullying me because I fought back and didn't take their shit, it have me more confidence and made me feel more important when I was younger.  This is not something you should do to raise your self-esteem though, as that should come from you alone, and nobody else, but if you're young it can help and really makes you see that you matter. 

[FractalMoon 378]

I will admit that I've bullied people. It was usually on accident, and I didn't realize what it was at the time, but I was bullying them. To be honest, the only reason I did it is because I wanted to be noticed. 

[~Silver Essence~ 2,625]

Dude, let me start off by saying that I am so sorry to hear about your incident, bullies are the worst I swear.

 

But I hate them, I really do, while I never had any of my own, my friends were picked on a lot, and that hurts me inside knowing I can't help them because they say they don't want any more trouble.

 

I vow to never let anyone bother me, besides, with me out smarting them like no tomorrow, I'm untouchable if I'm ever picked on.

 

Once again, sorry pal, real sorry.

[Gears of Halo Duty V 394]

I don't understand it. I really don't. I sit here, wondering, trying desperately to grasp the idea that you would willingly put someone down verbally or physically. But I can't fathom doing such things.

 

• Don't like something? That's fine. Don't like it. Hate it even, whatever you want.
• Don't like someone? That's fine, you don't/won't have to like everyone. Block them, ignore them, whatever you feel.

But don't be a fucking coward and attack them when they have done nothing to you. 

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,331]

I hate bullies. I hate them so much that I can't even stand them in fiction (that's kind of why most cmc episodes tend to be a chore for me to sit through). The only real bullying I ever got was in second grade on the bus some kids would pick on me and call me a baby for watching Cartoon Network (even though one of them was actually a grade under me). It'seven more sad how with bullying, the adults tend to do nothing about it until it's too late and the kid has already committed suicide. Bottom line, bullies just plain suck. 

[Onylex 2,837]

Dude, let me start off by saying that I am so sorry to hear about your incident, bullies are the worst I swear.

 

But I hate them, I really do, while I never had any of my own, my friends were picked on a lot, and that hurts me inside knowing I can't help them because they say they don't want any more trouble.

 

I vow to never let anyone bother me, besides, with me out smarting them like no tomorrow, I'm untouchable if I'm ever picked on.

 

Once again, sorry pal, real sorry.

 

Im okay but, thank you that does mean a lot. 

[Frostgage 7,975]

I think a bully's mind works differently from others. Maybe they can't comprehend how distressing it can be for the other person, or maybe they just enjoy the feeling of imposing themselves, simply because they can. Sometimes people try to make excuses for them, like their home life or whatever, but I don't believe that. Anyone who harms another person, physically or verbally, with no provocation, is just a bad person. No matter how angry or upset I am for whatever reason, I would never take it out on another person.

 

I was really sensitive when I was younger (still am I guess), so I'm lucky it was never really an issue for me. If you ever want to talk or something, I'm here for you and I'd imagine everyone else here is too.

 

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." - Mark Twain

Edited February 1, 2014 by JPBrony773

[Onylex 2,837]

 

 

I think bullying in itself has a lot of benefits to the victim, if the victim chooses to stand up for him/herslef. 

 

Or it can make it worse because you are acknowledging that you don't like being bullied to the bully and, thats honestly all the motivation they need to continue to pick on you. Possibly even more that they had before. 

[Deesinn 393]

Or it can make it worse because you are acknowledging that you don't like being bullied to the bully and, thats honestly all the motivation they need to continue to pick on you. Possibly even more that they had before. 

 

Sure, but it's still better than letting them bully you.  Since we can't stop bullying, it's better to fight it, and if it gets to the point of dangerous physical violence, then it's time to ask other people for help. 

[Onylex 2,837]

Sure, but it's still better than letting them bully you.  Since we can't stop bullying, it's better to fight it, and if it gets to the point of dangerous physical violence, then it's time to ask other people for help. 

Sorry dude but, I really don't think that exactly how it works. 

Its just causing more trouble for yourself, and it could possible start into one of those eye for an eye things.

 

Id really rather not have it get to the point where that eye for an eye saying becomes literal thing....

[Skylar 1,641]

@,

 

*Hugs you tight* I am so sorry to hear about that Ony  

 

Seriously fuck bullies, and I laugh at them because they are have their fun in school or what not but at the end of the day they are the shallow fucks who will spend the rest of their lives alone, or in shitty jobs because they were too busy bullying / too dumb in school or in prison, which frankly they deserve.

 

Seriously there is nothing on earth I hate more than bullies in any form >_<

[Remi 1,309]

"Bullying causes depression, bulemia, anorexia, depression, suicides, self-harm, and low self-esteem, and you people are proud of this?"

Bullying, in esscence, does not cause this. It's more the lack of smart choices of the insulted. If we don't teach our kids to stand up for themselves, and learn to cope with insults and harrasments, we will simply be raising more victims.

As for the kid who wanted to end himself, one, he's 11, around 74 years of life left in him. Two, for liking MLP, [almost] everyone gets harrassed for that, but it depends on how you handle the situation.

You can a. feel targeted, vunerable, and that it's the end, or b. get a grip, stand up for yourself, and understand that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words are simple noises created by vibrations in the vocal chords transmitted through waves thus cannot create the necessary 9,500 Newtons of force required to fracture a human bone.
 

[Deesinn 393]

Sorry dude but, I really don't think that exactly how it works. 

Its just causing more trouble for yourself, and it could possible start into one of those eye for an eye things.

 

Id really rather not have it get to the point where that eye for an eye saying becomes literal thing....

 

Don't apologize haha!  Maybe it's just my ponyality, I just don't take ponies shit. 

[Onylex 2,837]

 

 

words are simple noises created by vibrations in the vocal chords transmitted through waves thus cannot create the necessary 9,500 Newtons of force required to fracture a human bone.

 

Unfortunately though, bullying doesn't just come in the form of words. :/

[Satsuki Kiryuin 1,155]

Bullying is just caused by insecure kids who want to act tough because they haven't been raised in a proper enviroment. Imo, most of the time bullies just have issues at school, or at home, and it causes them to do such an action because it makes them feel in control and powerful. If you're being bullied, I honestly suggest trying to find a solution. You shouldn't be affected by bullies just because they decide to pick on you without reason. There are always telephone helplines if you feel the need to talk to someone anonymously, as well as online. If you are a bully, please think about what you're doing, because negative actions will only bring pain to the victim and yourself.

[Remi 1,309]

We also have to understand that those who are not kind hearted have been through tough experiences leading them to feel less of themselves.

[Clover Heart 978]

@,  As a fellow artist, I can understand how you feel. I'd be really upset if anyone destroyed any of my notebooks, either. So I'm sorry that happened to you. Just as some personal advice, have you considered telling your parents or your principal about it? I don't know that anything would come of that, but maybe if you get your parents to raise a fit about it, you can get something done. I dunno, just an idea. You can take it or leave it.

 

As for bullying in general, it's completely uncalled for. I really don't understand it. Like, I can barely comment on it, I understand it so little. I don't get why people do it. My only real understanding is that these people are so insecure with themselves that they need to make someone else feel insecure, but in reading a number of stories about bullying, it seems like this often isn't the case. Maybe some people are just jerks at heart? Or maybe I'm looking too much on the surface? Well, anyway, I have little empathy for someone who makes another person feel like crap.

 

I'm encouraged, lately, by the number of stories I'm seeing in the news about people lashing back against bullying. Especially parents who punish their kids for it. I remember one woman making her kid hold up a sign in traffic saying something about how he's a bully and how shameful that is, or something like that. I've seen a number of stories like that, and I like seeing parents realize that this isn't right and trying to set their kids straight so they don't keep victimizing other kids. I think my idea was usually that parents will protect their kids, saying "No, you're wrong. My kid would never bully anyone. Name calling? Your kid's gotta toughen up!" And I'm sure many parents like that still do exist, and it's bullshit. However, I do think it's a great thing that there are a lot of parents who do call their kids out on things and say "That's not right."

 

I think there are a number of problems within schools. Like 's story, there are all too many teachers who tend to brush off what a student will say. When I was a student, it always bothered me that my personal plights seemed to be ignored by teachers and school staff at some points. When I became a teacher, I said "I'm always gonna listen to my students and make sure I never brush off any of their complaints." Naïveté. I'll take my older students a bit more seriously (even though they don't tend to cause these kinds of problems in my classes) but little kids complain about the stupidest shit. Seriously. I tried to take valid complaints a bit more seriously, like if someone's being unfair to someone else or if they're bothering them, but oh my god, I swear, some of the things they complained about... I think the stupidiest thing I've ever heard is "Teacher, she has a piece of paper!" So. Fucking. What. And it's exactly that kind of thing that causes teachers to lose perspective on the seriousness of some complaints. 

 

This is a lot of why tattling is discouraged. Not only does it drive the teacher crazy, but it makes it difficult to discern what's okay and what's not okay. You get to a point where you resign anything that's not a huge problem to being okay, whether it actually is or not. And part of this, I think teachers can exercise more caring and less apathy. Some of this, I think should go toward education of what is tattling and what is telling. This is something that's often talked about in classes with younger kids, but rarely well-explained. I remember in these talks, we'd always receive very broad examples of what's okay and what's not okay, but that never gave me a good idea on what was okay and what wasn't okay. And kids think in black and white, so this should be easy to explain to them. Is it hurting you? It it hurting your feelings? Is it destruction or vandalization of your property? If so, tell the teacher. If not, deal with it. Not that difficult. But because everything tends to get filed away under "tattling," kids learn quickly that the teacher's not really there for them. If they have an actual problem, the teacher isn't going to help them. And unfortunately, that happens too often. This creates a breeding ground for bullying. If everything is tattling, there's no recourse for when something bad actually happens to you. So matters are taken into the students' own hands. Often, there's little the student can do on his/her own, so they're just subjected to bullying. By the time they're in junior high, even if things have escalated, many students get into the mindset, because it's been going on so long, that this is normal. So they refrain from telling anyone.

 

I have a problem with all of this. As a teacher, I can sympathize with not wanting to be bugged with every little problem. However, I think as teachers, we can better define the way that we frame the kind of problems we will and won't take on, creating a more open and safe environment for everyone. And teachers should hold themselves to those same standards. They need to define for themselves what's tattling and what's telling, then they need to not only hold the kids to that standard, but hold themselves to that standard as well. So, as I said before, physical abuse, emotional abuse and destruction of property, we'll just use as an example. (But everyone should set their own standards.) If I tell the kids that these are the kind of things that they can come to me with, but I just brush them off, I'm not being fair to them. At the same time, I think this allows me the freedom to brush off things that don't fall within this category. And we're not robots. Even if it doesn't fall within standards, there may arise something that we didn't even think of. For example, I didn't include stealing in my standards. Does that mean that I'm not going to listen to a student who had his/her property stolen? No. I should still hear them out. However, if they come to me with stupid shit, like, someone having a piece of paper, I reserve the right to completely ignore you. And I think this will set up a foundation for kids in the future. When bullying actually happens, the kids will feel like they can actually come to a teacher with this problem, instead of feeling like they're just bothering the teacher.

 

So within schools, I still think there needs to be some reform in the way that things are done. Should there be a standard for this? Maybe. I can't really say. That might help, but it also may cause hindrences within the classroom, depending on what rules are set up and how they're to be carried out. However, I do think that teachers owe it to their students to take it upon themselves to set a standard on what is considered a serious issue and what is not. I think that's one way that we can probably help prevent bullying. 

 

There's still a lot that can be done and a ways to go. The fact that we're recognizing this as a bigger problem is a step in the right direction. I like that the term "bullycide" has worked its way into our vocabulary. Not because it exists; that's horrible. But because people recognize it, now, as such a problem that they've coined a term to describe it. Having that term brings more light to the severity of the situation. I think that's a good thing because it allows us to be able to tackle it better.

 

One thing that really bothers me is the state of bullying in Japan. (I live in Japan, so this is relevant to me.) Bullying here fucking disgusts me. If you think it's bad in America, you should read some articles on Japan. Victims of bullying are met with very little empathy. There's this idea in Japan of "gaman." Gaman roughly translates into endurance or perserverence. This is instilled within people. So someone you can't deal with bullying is looked down upon because of weak gaman. Suicide is known to be a big problem in Japan. For students, a lot of suicide (though not always, and there are other factors involved in this) stems from bullying. There's nowhere to go, nobody to talk to, nobody cares, nobody's on your side. So many students end their lives because they don't want to live like that. It's a big societal problem. Change is happening, but not as much or as rapidly as in the US. It bothers me that this isn't seen as as big a problem in Japan.

 

I guess those are my thoughts on bullying. Rambley as they may be. Yeah, this kinda quickly devolved, so pardon if my thoughts are a bit jumbled.

Edited February 1, 2014 by Clover Heart

[Nerdy Luigi 2,065]

A simple, somewhat stereotypical standpoint.

Bullies need to keep the stuff they do to themselves, bullying is unnecessary, and I feel sympathy for bullied people. I am one of them, but not like the poor 11 year old brony that almost successfully killed himself because he lives in such a cruel world.

[Waterfall 13]

 I think bullies are people that have been bullied themselves by other kids or their parents, and they are just crying out for help in the only way they can think of.

[Zekromic 1,054]

I believe it's more fault of incompetent adult who foolishly believe it's just child stuff than the bullies themselves, that goes to the school personnel, AND specially the parents, both the bully and the victim. I write from experience 

[Waterfall 13]

So do I. I actually have been bullied most of my life. So i also know want it is like.

[Judgement 445]

Bullies suck. I deal with them every single day at school. This is more of a threat rather than bullying, but in kindergarten, there was this one kid that said "I'm going to go into your house and murder you with a chainsaw when I grow up". He told me that EVERY DAY. I told the teacher, but she just said "Oh, learn how to take a joke, dear".

 

Yeah, because you just know telling somebody that you want to murder them with a chainsaw is a JOKE. Smh.