Minister KelGrym's Religious Services

[Virgil 685]

My institution is decentralized. Go for any branch and cut it off and two more branches will grow in it's place. We cannot be stopped. Resistance is futile

This cult is starting to remind me of something... but what is it?

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

Hydra is not part of the Celestia Legendarium!

Prepare for an Inquest!

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

3rd [Pony?] Waifu Wedding!

 

Below is the transcript to something I did while I was drunk. May Celestia forgive me.

 

Nioniosbbbb x Chrysalis

 

Skype Wedding Transcript

[3:24:22 PM] Kel Grym: *rings bell*

[3:25:14 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered here today to celebrate a momentous occasion

[3:25:23 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: Is there an open bar afterwards?

[3:25:25 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Hey there people!

[3:25:29 PM] Kel Grym: ...

[3:25:30 PM] Kel Grym: no

[3:25:35 PM | Removed 3:28:25 PM] Jump Cut: This message has been removed.

[3:26:00 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Since we are all so random now i will join in this!

[3:26:03 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: Okay. I'm serious.

[3:26:10 PM] Nioniosbbbb: REVIVE RALLY JUNGLE SORAKA!

[3:26:22 PM] Kel Grym: *ahem* We are gathered here today to celebrate the holy matrionomy of Nioniosbbbb...and...?

[3:26:30 PM] Kel Grym: Chrysialis?

[3:27:02 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (party)

[3:27:03 PM] Chrysalis: We are here!

[3:27:45 PM] Kel Grym: ...are you brainwashing him? (slurs a little)

[3:28:21 PM] Chrysalis:Fortunately for you i won't be offended by this. I am not...

[3:28:40 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Yea! I am like 100% free... except from the government...

[3:28:52 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Laws are laws!

[3:29:17 PM] Kel Grym: o_0 ...*sips brandy*...okie dokey lokie.

[3:29:27 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (d)

[3:29:54 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Chrysalis:Is there any wine? I heard that red wine is the best.

[3:29:55 PM] Jump Cut: (d)

[3:29:59 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Good for your heart too!

[3:30:10 PM] Kel Grym: Alright...enough sillinesh.

[3:30:54 PM] Jump Cut: Pinkie pie quiet down!

[3:30:55 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *coughs and remains silent maintaining composure*

[3:31:03 PM] Kel Grym: Do you Nioniosbbbb do hereby swear to love...this thing, in sickness and health, for better or worse, as your lawfully bewedded wife?

[3:31:30 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *looks in Chrysalis' eyes* Yes... absolutely yes.

[3:32:18 PM] Kel Grym: oh dear....its worse than I thought...ok. And do you Chrysalis, swear to love your egg host, in sickness and health, for better or worse, as your lawfully bewedded husband?

[3:33:10 PM] Jump Cut: *thinks* oh jezzas

[3:33:18 PM] Chrysalis:*with a wide smile* Affirmative... i mean yes! Yes!

[3:34:18 PM] Chrysalis:*Whispering in her mind:"Note to self... never leave open the mind link in weddings ever again"*

[3:34:37 PM] Kel Grym: (I can't believe I'm doing this) Then by the powers invested in my by the ULC, and under the authority of Celestia most Holy, I pronounce thee Man and ....Wife. *hic*

[3:34:51 PM] Kel Grym: You may kiss the bride. *looks away*

[3:35:16 PM] Jump Cut: *cringes*

[3:35:28 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *Swings her downwards in his arms like a tango dancer and kisses her* Mmmm....

[3:35:46 PM] Kel Grym: 0_o *finds he cant look away*

[3:36:00 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (beer)

[3:36:01 PM] ghostfacekiller39: I think I missed something while I was at school.

[3:36:16 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *they return to their previous positions* WOOHOO!!! I FEEL GREAT!

[3:36:16 PM] Jump Cut: *weakly claps*

[3:36:21 PM] Kel Grym: ...I should have asked if anyone objected...

[3:36:32 PM] Jump Cut: Ya you should have

[3:36:41 PM] Kel Grym: I was just caught off guard by the whole bug thing...*wavers on podium*

[3:36:42 PM] Chrysalis:Quiet honey... *blushes making some air to her face*

[3:37:18 PM] Chrysalis:They may object... if they dare... *giggles*

[3:37:27 PM] Kel Grym: sigh...ok. That's a wrap!

 

Congratulations Nioniosbbbb...I think...Brag to everyone about your infestation and have a hopefully painless honeymoon!

[IridscentNionios 1,420]

@,Yea i am infested with her love... and it feels oh so glorious! HAIL TO THE KING BABY!!! 

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

Can you do one for my pony waifu (it's Pinkie)

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Can you do one for my pony waifu (it's Pinkie)

 

Yes I can.

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

Yes I can.

Just so we're clear, is this a serious marriage or a joking marriage? (I wouldn't seriously get married to her)

Edited May 22, 2014 by ChikoritaBrony

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Just so we're clear, is this a serious marriage or a joking marriage? (I wouldn't seriously get married to her)

 

Nothing serious at all about my abuse of legal power as an ordained minister.

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

Nothing serious at all about my abuse of legal power as an ordained minister.

Ok good cause I don't want to get seriously married to a fictional pony just in a joking waifu fashion.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

4th Pony Waifu Wedding!

 

Fourth installment to the pony waifu wedding series...sigh...one that pained me to do more than the last one.

 

Chikoritabrony x Pinkie Pie

 

Skype Wedding Transcript

 

[4:36:45 PM] Kel Grym: *plays wedding music*

[4:37:36 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered here today, to celebrate the Holy Matriomony of Chikoritabrony and Pinkie Pie. Is the groom present?

[4:37:44 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: yes i am

[4:37:58 PM] Kel Grym: And where is the bride?

[4:38:08 PM] Pinkie: Here I am!

[4:38:33 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: Wait!

[4:38:48 PM] Kel Grym: 0_0

[4:39:12 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: We have to have a party for this one.

[4:39:32 PM] Jump Cut: *thinks* oh Celestia! what is she wearing?!

[4:39:36 PM] Kel Grym: What is it Omni?

[4:40:10 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: We are having a party afterwards, right?

[4:40:11 PM] Kel Grym: *taps foot impatiently*

[4:40:27 PM] Nioniosbbbb: I will arrange the party to follow if you like. Since you know... i recently got married and all.

[4:40:40 PM] Pinkie: OF COARSE THERE IS A PARTY!

[4:41:15 PM] Nioniosbbbb: YAY!

[4:41:22 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (d)

[4:41:23 PM] Nioniosbbbb: I will bring the wine okay?

[4:41:26 PM] Jump Cut: Woohoo!

[4:41:27 PM] Kel Grym: ...

[4:41:39 PM] Kel Grym: that was what you were waiting for...to get a drink?

[4:41:41 PM] Pinkie: IT'S GONNA BE SUPER FUN!

[4:42:02 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Damn straight it is!

[4:42:48 PM] Jump Cut: *thinks* I wonder if there will be pin the tail on the pony?

[4:42:58 PM] Kel Grym: Ok lets get this over with.

[4:43:15 PM] Pinkie: Of coarse there will be. All right lets do this

[4:43:49 PM] Kel Grym: Do you Chikoritabrony to hereby solemly swear to love and cherish Pinkie Pikie Pie in sickness and health, yatta yatta ya, and take her to be your wife?

[4:44:11 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: i do

[4:44:42 PM] Kel Grym: Alright...and do you Pinkie Pie...you wanna get hitched with Chikaritabrony?

[4:44:45 PM] Jump Cut: *THINKS* what?! Pinkie?! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[4:45:02 PM] Pinkie: oops sorry and I DO!

[4:45:17 PM] Kel Grym: Okay. Does anybody here object to this union?

[4:45:56 PM] Jump Cut: *shakes head no*

[4:46:17 PM] Kel Grym: Well then...*slams Celestian Bible dramatically*

[4:46:24 PM] Kel Grym: I sure as Hades do!

[4:46:36 PM] Kel Grym: *pauses for dramatic effect*

[4:46:43 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Nop!

[4:47:11 PM] Nioniosbbbb: You won't unless you want Royal asswooping

[4:47:22 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *just kidding*

[4:47:23 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt:

[4:47:27 PM] Jump Cut: *gasp!!!*

[4:47:55 PM] Kel Grym: *jumps down from podium and kneels before pinkie*

[4:48:12 PM] Kel Grym: Pinkie Pie! I love you and always wanted you as my pony waifu!

[4:48:16 PM] Jump Cut: *super GASP*

[4:48:23 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (think)

[4:48:37 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: pinkie: Wait WHAT?!

[4:48:39 PM] Jorguil Ferris: your a duck.

[4:48:40 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: WHAT?!

[4:48:55 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *facepalms* I am going to yank you from the neck now...

[4:49:16 PM] Kel Grym: It's true! I listen to the smile song all the time and your the only reason I keep living!

[4:49:43 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (facepalm)

[4:50:01 PM] Jump Cut: *jaw drops to floor*

[4:50:15 PM] Kel Grym: (apart from my faith in celestia)

[4:50:30 PM] Pinkie: Well that's fine and really super duper nice but you see I'm in love with chikorita and he listens to the smile song all the time and then some

[4:50:57 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Do i have to call the Queen to brainwash him into doing this?

[4:51:00 PM] Kel Grym: I see...and this is what will make you truely happy?

[4:51:20 PM] Jump Cut: *starts humming smile song tune*

[4:51:34 PM] Pinkie: Oh yes he already gives me the happiest tim I've ever had

[4:51:58 PM] Jorguil Ferris: You all just quakin lets just settle this with a round of rock paper scissors.

[4:52:13 PM] Pinkie: Doesn't my opinion matter here?

[4:52:27 PM] Jorguil Ferris: yes

[4:52:29 PM] Kel Grym: It does. I can't stop this union.

[4:52:35 PM] Kel Grym: *returns to podium*

[4:53:03 PM] Jump Cut: *sighs*

[4:53:08 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: She doesn't want to get married to you. I care for her opinions and choices and see them as important. And if being married to me makes her happy then i'm happy

[4:53:14 PM] Jorguil Ferris: Kel failed his persuasion roll.

[4:53:20 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (inlove)

[4:53:26 PM] Kel Grym: I begrudgingly but dutifully prounonce you Man and Wife.

[4:53:39 PM] Jump Cut: well this is akward

[4:53:44 PM] Kel Grym: You may kiss the bride. *looks away*

[4:54:15 PM] ChikoritaCheezits:  this will make you smile smile smile

[4:54:16 PM] Pinkie: Oh yes it will *kisses*

[4:54:18 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *jumps up and down happily*

[4:54:26 PM] Jump Cut: *claps loudly*

[4:54:42 PM] Jorguil Ferris: (y)

[4:54:43 PM] Jump Cut: yayyyyyyy!!!

[4:54:44 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (beer)

[4:54:51 PM] Kel Grym: Well...I could always get hitched to pinkamena.

[4:54:55 PM] Jorguil Ferris: you did it.

[4:54:59 PM] Pinkie: wait what?

[4:55:12 PM] Jump Cut: I'm with you Omni

[4:55:47 PM] Kel Grym: Different character...you probably never met her, pinkie.

[4:56:05 PM] Pinkie: Sounds like a cool pony I guess.

[4:56:19 PM] Kel Grym: She makes steller cupcakes.

 

Congrats to Pinkie and that sumbitch-that-stole-my-waifu! Have fun, while I go drink away my misery!

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

 

4th Pony Waifu Wedding!

 

Fourth installment to the pony waifu wedding series...sigh...one that pained me to do more than the last one.

 

Chikoritabrony x Pinkie Pie

 

Skype Wedding Transcript

 

[4:36:45 PM] Kel Grym: *plays wedding music*

[4:37:36 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered here today, to celebrate the Holy Matriomony of Chikoritabrony and Pinkie Pie. Is the groom present?

[4:37:44 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: yes i am

[4:37:58 PM] Kel Grym: And where is the bride?

[4:38:08 PM] Pinkie: Here I am!

[4:38:33 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: Wait!

[4:38:48 PM] Kel Grym: 0_0

[4:39:12 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: We have to have a party for this one.

[4:39:32 PM] Jump Cut: *thinks* oh Celestia! what is she wearing?!

[4:39:36 PM] Kel Grym: What is it Omni?

[4:40:10 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: We are having a party afterwards, right?

[4:40:11 PM] Kel Grym: *taps foot impatiently*

[4:40:27 PM] Nioniosbbbb: I will arrange the party to follow if you like. Since you know... i recently got married and all.

[4:40:40 PM] Pinkie: OF COARSE THERE IS A PARTY!

[4:41:15 PM] Nioniosbbbb: YAY!

[4:41:22 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (d)

[4:41:23 PM] Nioniosbbbb: I will bring the wine okay?

[4:41:26 PM] Jump Cut: Woohoo!

[4:41:27 PM] Kel Grym: ...

[4:41:39 PM] Kel Grym: that was what you were waiting for...to get a drink?

[4:41:41 PM] Pinkie: IT'S GONNA BE SUPER FUN!

[4:42:02 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Damn straight it is!

[4:42:48 PM] Jump Cut: *thinks* I wonder if there will be pin the tail on the pony?

[4:42:58 PM] Kel Grym: Ok lets get this over with.

[4:43:15 PM] Pinkie: Of coarse there will be. All right lets do this

[4:43:49 PM] Kel Grym: Do you Chikoritabrony to hereby solemly swear to love and cherish Pinkie Pikie Pie in sickness and health, yatta yatta ya, and take her to be your wife?

[4:44:11 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: i do

[4:44:42 PM] Kel Grym: Alright...and do you Pinkie Pie...you wanna get hitched with Chikaritabrony?

[4:44:45 PM] Jump Cut: *THINKS* what?! Pinkie?! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[4:45:02 PM] Pinkie: oops sorry and I DO!

[4:45:17 PM] Kel Grym: Okay. Does anybody here object to this union?

[4:45:56 PM] Jump Cut: *shakes head no*

[4:46:17 PM] Kel Grym: Well then...*slams Celestian Bible dramatically*

[4:46:24 PM] Kel Grym: I sure as Hades do!

[4:46:36 PM] Kel Grym: *pauses for dramatic effect*

[4:46:43 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Nop!

[4:47:11 PM] Nioniosbbbb: You won't unless you want Royal asswooping

[4:47:22 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *just kidding*

[4:47:23 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt:

[4:47:27 PM] Jump Cut: *gasp!!!*

[4:47:55 PM] Kel Grym: *jumps down from podium and kneels before pinkie*

[4:48:12 PM] Kel Grym: Pinkie Pie! I love you and always wanted you as my pony waifu!

[4:48:16 PM] Jump Cut: *super GASP*

[4:48:23 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (think)

[4:48:37 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: pinkie: Wait WHAT?!

[4:48:39 PM] Jorguil Ferris: your a duck.

[4:48:40 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: WHAT?!

[4:48:55 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *facepalms* I am going to yank you from the neck now...

[4:49:16 PM] Kel Grym: It's true! I listen to the smile song all the time and your the only reason I keep living!

[4:49:43 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (facepalm)

[4:50:01 PM] Jump Cut: *jaw drops to floor*

[4:50:15 PM] Kel Grym: (apart from my faith in celestia)

[4:50:30 PM] Pinkie: Well that's fine and really super duper nice but you see I'm in love with chikorita and he listens to the smile song all the time and then some

[4:50:57 PM] Nioniosbbbb: Do i have to call the Queen to brainwash him into doing this?

[4:51:00 PM] Kel Grym: I see...and this is what will make you truely happy?

[4:51:20 PM] Jump Cut: *starts humming smile song tune*

[4:51:34 PM] Pinkie: Oh yes he already gives me the happiest tim I've ever had

[4:51:58 PM] Jorguil Ferris: You all just quakin lets just settle this with a round of rock paper scissors.

[4:52:13 PM] Pinkie: Doesn't my opinion matter here?

[4:52:27 PM] Jorguil Ferris: yes

[4:52:29 PM] Kel Grym: It does. I can't stop this union.

[4:52:35 PM] Kel Grym: *returns to podium*

[4:53:03 PM] Jump Cut: *sighs*

[4:53:08 PM] ChikoritaCheezits: She doesn't want to get married to you. I care for her opinions and choices and see them as important. And if being married to me makes her happy then i'm happy

[4:53:14 PM] Jorguil Ferris: Kel failed his persuasion roll.

[4:53:20 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (inlove)

[4:53:26 PM] Kel Grym: I begrudgingly but dutifully prounonce you Man and Wife.

[4:53:39 PM] Jump Cut: well this is akward

[4:53:44 PM] Kel Grym: You may kiss the bride. *looks away*

[4:54:15 PM] ChikoritaCheezits:  this will make you smile smile smile

[4:54:16 PM] Pinkie: Oh yes it will *kisses*

[4:54:18 PM] Nioniosbbbb: *jumps up and down happily*

[4:54:26 PM] Jump Cut: *claps loudly*

[4:54:42 PM] Jorguil Ferris: (y)

[4:54:43 PM] Jump Cut: yayyyyyyy!!!

[4:54:44 PM] EquiOmnisVincunt: (beer)

[4:54:51 PM] Kel Grym: Well...I could always get hitched to pinkamena.

[4:54:55 PM] Jorguil Ferris: you did it.

[4:54:59 PM] Pinkie: wait what?

[4:55:12 PM] Jump Cut: I'm with you Omni

[4:55:47 PM] Kel Grym: Different character...you probably never met her, pinkie.

[4:56:05 PM] Pinkie: Sounds like a cool pony I guess.

[4:56:19 PM] Kel Grym: She makes steller cupcakes.

 

Congrats to Pinkie and that sumbitch-that-stole-my-waifu! Have fun, while I go drink away my misery!

 

Oh what a day that was crazy.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Oh what a day that was crazy.

 

It sure was. It sure was.

 

 

*Secretly plots vengeance*

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

It sure was. It sure was.

 

 

*Secretly plots vengeance*

I hear you plotting your revenge over there.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

I hear you plotting your revenge over there.

 

Plotting? What plotting?

[IridscentNionios 1,420]

@,YOU ARE PLOTTING! *gasp*

IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!!! 

[Untitled Goose Q 5,136]

This thread is funny.

 

Shame I will have to call in the Ordo Herecticus to shut you down. By force, of course, that is the standard way.

 

The Emperor Protects.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

@,YOU ARE PLOTTING! *gasp*

IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!!! 

 

Absurd.

 

Anything that would be published by Celestia would be nothing less than truth.

 

 

This thread is funny.

 

Shame I will have to call in the Ordo Herecticus to shut you down. By force, of course, that is the standard way.

 

The Emperor Protects.

 

[IridscentNionios 1,420]

@,Okay i will obey... afterall you allowed me to be eternally tied with my waifu! YAY! 

[Demonic Soulz 482]

What is this exactly?

[Flutter's lover <3 8,204]

Ooh!

 

Marry Fluttershy and I! You know...if you want to that is.    It'd be pretty awesome.

[Untitled Goose Q 5,136]

Oh look. A member of the Ordo Hereticus is here.

 

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Ooh!

 

Marry Fluttershy and I! You know...if you want to that is.    It'd be pretty awesome.

 

Pm me your skype and we'll set up an appointment. I probably won't be able to do it tomorrow, but we'll get around to it.

Oh look. A member of the Ordo Hereticus is here.

 

 

We have the sun on our side. Hakuna Matata.

[Untitled Goose Q 5,136]

The Ordo Herecticus can destroy the sun, easily.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

The Ordo Herecticus can destroy the sun, easily.

 

No it can't.

[Untitled Goose Q 5,136]

No it can't.

Yes we can. We have psykers.

 

Of course, the sun is not actually on your side. The sun is merely a ball of flaming gas. It does not take sides.

 

We have Space Marines.