HereComesTom

Ugh.  Just ugh!

I felt sad, but not depressed, while watching the finale.  But after watching it, I've gone into a spiral...

The worst part was when I tried to sleep at night afterwards; I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I took a couple of knock-off NyQuil before going to bed.  But as it's 3:22am and I've probably slept for a total of two minutes, both of which awakened me with a despairing nightmare...well, I suspect those NyQuil contained something that's keeping me UP!

I keep having feelings of despair and horror in the pit of my stomach:  no more new episodes of MLP!  I know the comics are coming, but still---the despair and horror just won't stop appearing in me!  And it's keeping me from sleeping!

The worst part of THAT is what'll happen in the morning:  I won't be in any condition to go to work.  I do NOT want to be sitting in my apartment alone in the morning; that won't help with my depression and anxiety.  But that'll happen, too.

I done got too attached to something, and now that it's gone, I'm miserable and afraid.  This is the second time this has happened to me in the last few weeks!  Ouch...sucks to be me...

I've seen the finale and Jeric's/Say My Name's thank you video, and I've decided what I want to do:

My Weather Factory Meltdown game engine was always meant to be versatile and to give other users the ability to make their own games.  And IIRC, when Lauren Faust was first asked to create Friendship is Magic, she was actually approaching Hasbro about making a franchise out of her Galaxy Girls characters.

So...since my game is all about having a lot of characters in your party and letting them play off each others' strengths and cover each others' weaknesses, how would it be if I approached her with my game engine and let her use it to make a Galaxy Girls platform game?

It's not ready today:  I'm still in the middle of working on equipment, items, and playable character buffs.  And I need to add customizable enemy attacks (including debuffs for playable characters) and customizable playable character abilities (including debuffs for enemies) before it'll actually be useful for Lauren.  And...well, ideally I'd have a better items system and a shopping system in the game, as well.

But Lauren Faust gave us so much when she created these characters and the world they live in and the story they've been through; I'd like to give something back to her.

Aaaaaand iTunes doesn't have the finale yet---it looks like it won't be available until tomorrow; it's Sundays that I get notifications that a new episode is available :/

Dang...hard to believe the series is over...and my fangame is probably still a couple of years away from being done!  All because I just HAD to have a level editor for it...

I don't quite consider it a failure; the level editor makes it versatile to the point where it can be used for other, non-MLP related stuff.  And even if it's after the series finale of G-4, that doesn't prevent other bronies from making fangames or other fan content---with or without my game.  Still, when I started, some part of me wanted to present it to Hasbro and get it approved...though I knew that'd be a long shot then, I know it's not even that now.

What's really got me cut up, though, is the sheer finality of this finale.  I kind of wish I had some IRL friends who're into FiM, as then I'd have someone to talk with about it.

I just watched the Uprooted episode...it almost felt like it was the writers assuring us that, even if FiM is over, it still lives on in our hearts.  I know it lives on in mine!

But there's more---it'll live on in a new form, just like the Tree of Harmony does.  I hope it's a good form!

Well, I just watched the Season 9 premiere in preparation for the series finale, and I'd really forgotten how lighthearted the show usually is.  DisQord's jokes when Twilight was freaking out REALLY helped liven up the mood early in the episode!

Welp, I'm miserable:  my main laptop was practically my life, and a Windows 10 update made it overheat, and it completely ruined its hard disk!  Even Geek Squad couldn't fix it ;(

The silver lining is that I had backups for WFM and a couple of other projects, so I can use my gaming laptop to continue.  But MAN does it hurt---I liked that laptop!