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Stone Cold Steve Jobs

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Everything posted by Stone Cold Steve Jobs

  1. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    The names of the my little pony characters as read by a non brony who only has fleeting recollections of most things anyway: -Something involving Twinkies -Pink Eye -ROXANNE!!!!!!!!!! -Applejack -Rapidash -Buttershit
  2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    One of the lord of the rings movies? Shit if i know. "A hiss means it's close. A snap means--"
  3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    I have another dog story already.

    I was delivering mail and this house had their front door open but the glass storm door shut. There was no dog warning card or any indication to me of an animal. The mailbox was right next to the door. I approached and two dogs (a german shepherd and a rottweiler) ran for the door. My first thought was to secure the door so they could not force it open.

    Too late.

    the rottweiler hit the door with enough force to open it and he got his head out just as i slammed it back shut. The dog pulled his head back into the house and i held the door shut until the owner got to the dogs. Though it was just a few seconds it felt like forever.

    It wasn't until I was walking to the next house that I realized how badly I was shaking.

  4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Flutter Cold Step Tuna
  5. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Dear Princess Celestia, This is for you.
  6. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    Instantly thought of this after I heard about the new bill in Poland.

    IMG_5121.JPG

  7. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    I came close to having to use my dog spray today. Only thing that kept a freaking huge german shepherd off me was a flimsy storm door.

    1. Duality

      Duality

      Did the spray come with the job?

      My company didn't give me anything like that. D:

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Yes. They give you a can of dog spray you are meant to carry on your satchel at all times. The scanner you use even tells you when there is a dog warning in the area and the supervisors all tell you to skip a house if you think there might be an issue with a dog. It was dead quiet when i got up to the door and all of a sudden a dog just ex machina's his way into the mix. I must not have heard my scanner go off.

  8. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    Your avatar looks kind of like my aunt with that hair. How many painkillers does it take?

    1. The_Gobo

      The_Gobo

      I'm confused... painkillers?
      Like... the game? or?
      220px-Painkiller_Coverart.png

       

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      No, legit painkillers. My aunt is a straight up pill popper.

    3. The_Gobo

      The_Gobo

      I'm so sorry to hear that D:
      But no, I haven't actually taken anything today.
      I usually take tylonol and advil when I'm sore at work though

       

  9. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    With a TOMB STONE PILEDRIVER!!!! Wait, that's that other guy.
  10. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Sir Cold Floof Tuna
  11. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    I purchased Dead Island. Biggest waste of money.
  12. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Yes. I was four and it bit me.
  13. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    My recent affiliations have been conservative. First and foremost though, I am on the side of my country. Once you start doing something that will harm us, left and right be damned.
  14. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    That tickled.
  15. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    According to my thermometer my current temperature is 888.88 degrees celsius.

    By my calculations that makes me a dead man. Or maybe it's time for a new thermometer 

    1. Duality

      Duality

      By my calculations that makes you the perfect heat for grilling steaks.

       

      C'mere, I got some beef ready for sizzling.

    2. Total Lunar Eclipse

      Total Lunar Eclipse

      Or maybe you're just dang hot. lol

  16. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    I would get sick on my day off.

  17. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    *Stone Cold Stunner intensifies *
  18. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    Did you guys know that dogs really do hate the mailman?

    The post office gave me pepper spray for dogs.

     I thought that was a cartoon schtick.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      I was covering part of a route today and one house had a freaking rottweiler separated from me by a storm door. The dog was about halfway through the storm door. 

      So needless to say, one house didn't get their mail.

    3. Duality

      Duality

      Some of the houses near where I live have fences that bow over to almost 30 degrees from vertical when the canine inhabitants contained thereby jump up on them to try and get me.

      And then there're the dogs that jump up on their hind legs and place their growling faces a centimeter or two from the aperture of the letterbox, so I have to gingerly inch the newspaper into the box while keeping an eye on them for any indication that they're going to jump up any further to take a bite at my hand.

      I've been delivering for nigh-on half a decade now without incident, and some of those dogs still get me edgy.

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      I'm convinced we need to keep some people on leashes too in addition to animals.

  19. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Ultimate Stone Cold Ghost Tuna (93)
  20. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    Rosebud.
  21. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    Had my first day of work outside of training. Let's just say i could use a drink or seven.

  22. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    I heard that the air around @Sherbert Music-Guard is always a balmy 76 degrees.
  23. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

     

  24. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    I got in trouble for agreeing to something the teacher said and kicked out of the classroom for a few minutes, and then let back in.
  25. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

    First day of on the job training tomorrow. Means a lot of walking around and using a 30 year old truck.

    I'm not kidding by the way. They really are 30 years old. They don't always stay in park either.

    1. Pr0m4NV14

      Pr0m4NV14

      Good luck!

    2. Duality

      Duality

      That sounds. . . horrifying.

    3. Wannabrony

      Wannabrony

      Well, guess you don't need that nifty stick shift anymore.

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