The mug of water. I didn't have time to make tea because everyone in my house except me had already gone to bed and I didn't want to wake anyone up.
Today I remembered that in order to enter the University for Computer Science I will need to pass the Unified State Exam (ЕГЭ). I am now thinking how I can prepare for the exam if I go to work, study at a technical school, study programming and do Workout. I don’t understand when I should prepare for the exam. I have about 1 year to prepare. For the Unified State Exam I need to pass three subjects: Russian language, specialized mathematics and computer science. I need to take an exam in these three subjects.
Today I wrote in the topic "What are you thinking?" that I have little energy. Now I feel better. I don't want to take a rest, I need to do a lot of things. It often seems to me that I am moving too slowly towards my goal. Yesterday I listened to a podcast about a person who had already earned 1 million rubles at the age of 17. And I still haven't even learned English. And I'm even studying in a specialty that I hate, although if I had thought about my future earlier, I could have immediately entered a technical school to become a programmer. Now about rest. Previously, I often burned out and this happened almost every two weeks. Now I have been studying programming every day for two months and I missed only one day because I was busy with other tasks. I stopped resting after I read David Goggins' books. Well, it would be more accurate to say that I still rest. For example, I can take a walk in the forest, and after the walk I continue to complete my tasks. Another example, after studying programming, I do workout to take a break from mental work. This is how I rest. My relaxation is a change of activity. For some reason, many do not consider this relaxation. And I do not consider watching TV and video games relaxation. This only causes unnecessary stress and fatigue.
I forgot to answer this last time. My grandfather's death affected me greatly. After his funeral, I couldn't program for about two months. During these two months, I realized the transience of life. When a person realizes the transience of life, usually a person stops rushing and enjoys life. Surprisingly, the opposite happened to me - I stopped enjoying life and I began to strive to achieve my goals faster. Now I have regained some of my enjoyment of life, but I still don't enjoy life very well. Little makes me happy anymore when you realize that life can end at any moment. That's why I want to be a machine, I would live longer in the body of a machine and it would be good if I didn't feel anything or could completely control my feelings, turn off unnecessary ones and regulate the power of feelings.