romance A sample, criticize my writing

[The Real Minty <3 217]

Hello all you beautiful frikin bronies and pegasisters, and beautiful pony people I have come to know.

 

I need your honest opinion on the first 3 chapters of my fanfic, there may be some typos,

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/253888/saturn-rememberance

[I love Jelly Otter 477]

Very nice, but be sure to run it through spell checker if you want to go official with it.