Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,111]

Spitfire: Rainbow Crash! Care to explain this mishap that injured most of the squad.

Rainbow Dash: I....I....I'm sure there....is...a...valid reason. Sir. *Open metal flask drops from her suit.* Oops.

Edited September 2, 2019 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Fluttershy: At the time I thought it was good idea to convince the predators to eat vegetables. But, how was I suppose to know that certain vegetables are poisonous to them.

 

Granny Smith: Next question, where was Princess Luna locked away for hundreds of years?

Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...

Pinkie Pie: Her butt!

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!

Pinkie Pie: What, you've never heard of mooning?

Granny Smith: Eh, I'll accept it.

 

Zecora: I'm sure I have the answer right here in this vial...

Police: We got another 567. The Zebra is peddling potions on the street without a license again. Come with us ma'am.

Zecora: What? No, this must be a mistake. I have one but left at home.

Police: Yeah, yeah. You can tell it to the magistrate.

 

Granny Smith: Next question, who founded Ponyville?

Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...

Pinkie Pie: The Pears!

Applejack: What?! That's crazy talk! It was our family!

Pinkie Pie: Where's your proof?

Applejack: You want proof, I'll go get it.

Twilight Sparkle: No referencing outside source material. You're disqualified.

Applejack: I've been played like a fiddle.

[RDDash 19,203]

Twilight: I am craving for some horse meat

Fluttershy: what did you said?

Twilight: Oh, um, humans have very interesting culture.

Edited September 6, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,111]

Fluttershy: I'm going to make a safe sanctuary for sick and hurt animals to recover.

Twilight Sparkle: That goes against nature. There is a reason animals get hurt and sick because it enables predators to catch an easy meal while removing the weakest animals from the gene pool. Your idea would ensure those weak animals continue to live and pass on weak pathetic genes of deterioration for the species.

Fluttershy: Oh look, a waterfall. Ooooh.

Twilight Sparkle: You're evading.

 

Edited September 6, 2019 by Singe

[Lucky Bolt 35,085]

Applejack to RD: "Don't be a jack*ss."

Applejack: *looks at donkey* "Uh, no offense."

Donkey: "None taken."

You know, similar to these scenes ....

 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Spitfire: We're going to only kick out Lightning Dust for the whole incident since Rainbow Dash told me you order her to kill her friends.

Lightning Dust: What the hay.

Edited September 9, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 19,203]

Twilight: Hey everypony let's storm a highly classified military facility

Pinkie Pie: wait what?

Twilight oh wait, let's just crash at Spitfire training camp.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,605]

Pinkie Pie: Let's all marry each other!

[Sparklefan1234 172,690]

Applejack Sparrow: “You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Sparkle... you're in one!” 

 

Twilight Sparkle: "I know. I'm using Haycartes' method." 

 

Rainbow Dash: *Sighs heavily* "I *told* you she wouldn't understand "Ponies of the Caribbean" references." 

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Sparklefan1234

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: Twilight there is something wrong with Spike.

Twilight Sparkle: What makes you think that?

Rarity: I was in his bed right on top of him. He barely was aroused.

[RDDash 19,203]

Rarity : Why are you running away Spike?

Spike: I am not

Rarity: Lies! You are lying. Lies, lies. Lies! Don't lie to me. You tried to run away! You are running away! You are running!

Twilight: um, Rarity?

Rarity: Stay out of it Twilight!

Edited September 11, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,111]

Neighsay: Why are you teaching friendship to those creatures?

Twilight Sparkle: Neighsay, you are as foolish as you are blind to the bigger picture Teaching friendship to the other creatures is just a front. Our actual goal is to slowly inject our pony ways into every other creature culture out there. Soon they will be more submissive and controllable.

Neighsay: That's crazy.

Twilight Sparkle: It worked on Discord and we've nearly finished the process for the Changelings. Our progress is making way with the dragons and the yaks.

 

[Singe 2,111]

Starlight Glimmer: For being the Princess of Friendship, you don't get out and socialize much.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm always busy and I can't stand being around most of everyone else.

 

Cozy Glow: We should be friends.

Queen Chrysalis: That is disgusting.

Tirek: No, never.

Cozy Glow: What if instead of being friends, we'll do like everyone does with Pinkie Pie and just say we're more tolerant of each other's crap.

Queen Chrysalis: Agree. I never believed that anyone would be friends with that crazy pony and it was all an act.

Tirek: I'm fine with that.

 

Rarity: Twilight, where's Spike?

Twilight Sparkle: He's at the post office.

Rarity: You let Spike run off without his collar and leash.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Rarity: I mean, he must be looking at new forms of letter delivery.

 

Princess Celestia: I expect you to be able to send me letters on your progress of learning friendship.

Twilight Sparkle: I will mail them as quickly as I can.

Spike: Well I could send the letters to the princess with my breath.

Princess Celestia: Fire burns paper, Spike. Twilight what have you been teaching this dragon?

Twilight Sparkle: I've been teaching him a good education. He picked that non-sense up in his comics books.

Princess Celestia: You should have him read less science fiction and more real science.

Twilight Sparkle: Will do.

 

Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, what's wrong?

Rainbow Dash: I just walked in on your brother in the bathroom. His mane and tail were dyed as a rainbow. He was putting lipstick on and saying, "Love me Rainbow Dash." Then he saw me, freaked out, and yelled 'Don't look at me!" repeatedly.

Fluttershy: I'm sure he'll get over it.

Rainbow Dash: It's not him I'm worried about, it's the nightmares I'll have after this.

[Sparklefan1234 172,690]

Queen Chrysalis *Singing*:

 

What is love?
 

Changelings don't hurt me
 

Don't hurt me
 

No more

Edited September 19, 2019 by Sparklefan1234

[Luigi 7,870]

Spoiled Rich: Mr Richie!

Filthy Rich: Yes?

Spoiled Rich: What is that chicken doing outside the fence?

[Singe 2,111]

Smolder: Come on Rainbow Dash, we need you to be our coach.

Rainbow Dash: You want my honest opinion about your cheer squad.

Squad: Yeah!

Rainbow Dash: Drop the stomping Yona. She's throwing it all off doing her own thing.

Yona: *Runs off crying.*

Smolder: Why would you say that?!

Rainbow Dash: That's what everyone says. They just can't handle the truth, my truth.

 

Sombra: Grogar is the father of all monsters.

Grogar: When ever someone asks, "Who's your daddy?" I am.

Cozy Glow: You even made the Breezies?

Grogar: That's right. Daddy's little pitiful jokes of an existence.

 

Applejack: Why won't anyone listen to me?

Pinkie Pie: You should try learning flag semaphore. That'll make the message loud and clear.

 

Starlight Glimmer: Twilight I want to hire a vice mare to run the school with me?

Twilight Sparkle: HIre, what the hay is that? Just do like me and impose on one of your friends the job.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Singe

[Luigi 7,870]

Flim: Good Morning, and welcome to today’s Science Lecture. Today, I will be your substitute teacher. Let’s begin. The chemical composition of water consists of Beryllium.

Starlight Glimmer: BERYLLIUM?

Flim: Beryllium. B-E-A.....

Big Mcintosh: What is it, Professor Flim?

Flim: I can’t spell Beryllium.

Soarin: Oh, that’s B-E-R-Y-L-L-I-U-M.

Flim: Yes, but how do you make the D?

[The MegaBrony 219]

Rarity: Puru Puru Prism Jewerhythm! Rarity Jewel Flash!

[RDDash 19,203]

Rainbow Dash: Yona, that uniform makes you look fat.

Yona runs of crying.

Rainbow Dash: heh, fat ass 

Smolder: you don't have to be so rude

Rainbow Dash : meh, I never said anything about me being element of kindness. I am doing you guys a favor, we had to loose that yak...

Smolder: Yona

Rainbow Dash: whatever

Edited September 23, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Luigi 7,870]

Flim: Good Morning, I will be your substitute science teacher. The notes left behind by Ms. Cheerilee say you were studying bats. Now, as you know, Bats are a unique type of bug species that....

The Whole Class: BATS AREN’T BUGS!!!!!!!

Flim: Look! Who’s teaching the class? You brats, or me?

(Mayor Mare comes in with a Pink Slip)

Flim: Oh, it appears I’ve been fired.

Mayor Mare: I’ve already appointed a new substitute teacher. (Applejack walks in) 

TO BE CONTINUED 

[Will Guide 21,362]

Caballeron: I not only made a book series about Daring Do. I also made a old film series called "Mane of Thrones"

[Sparklefan1234 172,690]

Fluttershy: "I'd like to welcome every-creature to the first meeting of the "Animals Avoiding Angel Bunny" support group." 

Edited September 29, 2019 by Sparklefan1234

[Crimson storm 1,837]

Shinning armor: hey twilly your adopted 

[Luigi 7,870]

Applejack: All right little ones, quiet down! Class is about to start. Ms Cheerilee is on temporary leave to visit an injured family member. Until she gets back, I’ll be your substitute teacher. 

Applebloom: (Thinking to herself) Oh gawd. This isn’t gonna be pretty.

(Few minutes later)

Diamond Tiara: Hey Applebloom! Still just a blank flanked baby after six weeks since the start of semester, huh?

Applejack: WHAT WAS THAT I HEARD YOU SAY?

Diamond Tiara: Oh, It was nothing, ma’am!

 

(The screen shifts to Diamond Tiara sitting in the corner wearing a “dunce” hat)

Edited September 29, 2019 by Heir to the Monado

[Muffinnz 3,222]

Unicorn: "My horn shoots... magic"

Alicorn: "My horn is bigger than yours"

 

If you haven't watched the whole series Do NOT open the next one

Spoiler

"When you become an alicorn your horn will grow 3 times it's size"

Spoiler

Remember what happened to her horn after this?

Edited September 30, 2019 by Muffinnz