critique wanted ASK ME ABOUT MY OC

[Batchaction 9]

Mate, didn't you ever get taught in physics class that magical energy is 10 times faster than the speed of light? Geez 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Malinter 3,064]

Mate, didn't you ever get taught in physics class that magical energy is 10 times faster than the speed of light? Geez 

 

i must have missed that class at hogwarts. XD

[Batchaction 9]

i must have missed that class at hogwarts. XD

 

Well its a know subject of the equestrian academy...maybe you should switch universes...

[Malinter 3,064]

Well its a know subject of the equestrian academy...maybe you should switch universes

 

Earth Pony, remember? no horn. XD

[Swish and Flick 63]

Well its a know subject of the equestrian academy...maybe you should switch universes...

 

Could you please teach us more about the equestrian academy? 

[Batchaction 9]

Earth Pony, remember? no horn. XD

any pony can join the academy as long as you have exceptional talent...

Could you please teach us more about the equestrian academy? 

 

Ask me something about it an you shall receive...

[Holiday Agnaktor 1,436]

I've read all of this, and it doesn't really make that much sense to me.

So it went like this:

1. Archaeological trip.

2. Weird amulet.

3. Ascension.

4. Fight with Nightmare Moon.

First of all, why did your OC battle with Nightmare Moon? To rule over the night? Really?

Secondly, there is no Nightmare Moon anymore, as Luna isn't a crazed killer anymore.

Thirdly, if you say that magical energy travels faster than light, then I wonder what happened to Physics. It either has a speed equal or slower than light, or no speed at all and instantaneous.

Fourth, Suns don't have magic. They aren't alive. They're burning plasma. Sure, they have energy, but not magical energy. The sun isn't a magical being, you know.

Fifth, being able to draw energy from a source that is literally endless is considered OP. It'd make you able to just sit somewhere safe in a corner, and charge infinite power. (Hah, that's a song too.)

Sixth, you can't cast advanced magic when you sleep. Maybe it's possible to have some tiny magic discharge while you aren't aware of it, but teleportation and shielding aren't basic spells. Teleportation to a different planet is extremely advanced magic that pretty much no alicorn can cast. Celestia only got Nightmare Moon in the moon by using the Elements of Harmony, which are stupidly powerful.

 

I can think of more stuff that's not logical, but I'm running out of time here.

 

Keep working on your OC though.

[Batchaction 9]

I've read all of this, and it doesn't really make that much sense to me.

So it went like this:

1. Archaeological trip.

2. Weird amulet.

3. Ascension.

4. Fight with Nightmare Moon.

First of all, why did your OC battle with Nightmare Moon? To rule over the night? Really?

Secondly, there is no Nightmare Moon anymore, as Luna isn't a crazed killer anymore.

Thirdly, if you say that magical energy travels faster than light, then I wonder what happened to Physics. It either has a speed equal or slower than light, or no speed at all and instantaneous.

Fourth, Suns don't have magic. They aren't alive. They're burning plasma. Sure, they have energy, but not magical energy. The sun isn't a magical being, you know.

Fifth, being able to draw energy from a source that is literally endless is considered OP. It'd make you able to just sit somewhere safe in a corner, and charge infinite power. (Hah, that's a song too.)

Sixth, you can't cast advanced magic when you sleep. Maybe it's possible to have some tiny magic discharge while you aren't aware of it, but teleportation and shielding aren't basic spells. Teleportation to a different planet is extremely advanced magic that pretty much no alicorn can cast. Celestia only got Nightmare Moon in the moon by using the Elements of Harmony, which are stupidly powerful.

 

I can think of more stuff that's not logical, but I'm running out of time here.

 

Keep working on your OC though.

 

Yes i had a confrontation with nightmare moon before she got teleported to the moon not because i want to control the night but because i want to bring harmony back to the universe...

 

it's a type of physics not taught in the human world but only at the equestrian academy...

 

i assure you the suns are a form of life that  you may not comprehend unless your one with the universe...

 

Not really Op as i've said The amulet is the source of the power and not completely endless...

 

when i sleep i'm in suspended animation which allows me to project myself to other ponies but not cast spells the barrier and teleportation made were erected by me over years of research so I could place them as wards feeding off my magical energy as i sleep...

Edited December 26, 2015 by Batchaction

[Malinter 3,064]

you say I, not "he"... hmm.... thats worrying. XD

[Batchaction 9]

you say I, not "he"... hmm.... thats worrying. XD

 

I like how your hung up on such pretenses...lol 

[Malinter 3,064]

Not so much as hung up but seeing why your so defensive of this OC of yours.

[Batchaction 9]

Not so much as hung up but seeing why your so defensive of this OC of yours.

 I was born through a labor of love...as all ponies before me...

[Alphys Hedge 671]

This is a mary sue. I'm just being straight with you, this character is, indeed, too OP.

Sometimes, I can accept alicorn OCs, as long as they do not portray you, or have direct relations/grudges with or against the Royal Family.

Edited December 26, 2015 by Alpha Hedge

[Holiday Agnaktor 1,436]

Yes i had a confrontation with nightmare moon before she got teleported to the moon not because i want to control the night but because i want to bring harmony back to the universe...

When Luna became Nightmare Moon, Celestia fought with her almost immediately. There wasn't a few weeks of time before Celestia thought that she might want to do something about the darkness outside.

 

it's a type of physics not taught in the human world but only at the equestrian academy...

Physics don't work that way.

Even if I don't know about, let's say, quantum physics, they still work.

If anything has a physical speed that's higher than the speed of light, it will travel back in time because of Einsteins relativity theory. (At least, I think that that was the theory that said so.) Point is, nothing can go faster than light. It's either instantaneous, or equal to or slower than light.

Physics work even if you don't know 'em.

i assure you the suns are a form of life that  you may not comprehend unless your one with the universe...

In that case my fireplace is alive.

I'm pretty sure burning hydrogen doesn't count as alive.

 

Not really Op as i've said The amulet is the source of the power and not completely endless...

You just said that the amulet allowed you to gain energy from stars.

when i sleep i'm in suspended animation which allows me to project myself to other ponies but not cast spells the barrier and teleportation made were erected by me over years of research so I could place them as wards feeding off my magical energy as i sleep...

Spells as wards? Interesting idea.

My point still stands. Interplanetary teleportation requires a stupid amount of power. Literally nothing that exists can teleport that far. Teleportation gets harder the further you travel, and Twilight, (already a crazy powerful Unicorn,) can't teleport to, let's say, Canterlot, which isn't even that far away. Teleportation isn't easy.

 

I'm still replying to this, because I like throwing cold hard logic against things.

I need to practice this, because my special somepony looks at logic the same way Pinkie does.

[Batchaction 9]

Dude your just sounding weird now to be honest. You are NOT your character so stop referring to yourself as ''I'' in the same regard as your OC, you are a human sat behind a keyboard.  Stop being so defensive over something which you openly ask for opinions.  Really don't even see why this thread is going on or even why I am replying, probably because it keeps coming up in notifications, or anyone else is since it is becoming really obvious you are kind of in love with yourself / your OC or are just flat out trolling. 

 

Your OC is bad, overpowered and poorly designed and everyone who has commented thusfar has agreed and any of your attempts to explain otherwise are just plain nonsense. 

 

 

 as the saying goes haters gonna hate....

[Batchaction 9]

As the saying goes

 

''The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.''

 

read my original post ive edited it a bit...

[Malinter 3,064]

 

I'm still replying to this, because I like throwing cold hard logic against things.

I need to practice this, because my special somepony looks at logic the same way Pinkie does.

 

The only logic Pinkie Pie obeys is that she is pink and that she has a name. Everything else she just negates with her very presence. XD

[El Duderino 879]

You got it... transformed because of all the magic energy and pegasus can't use magic due to the lack of horn... if a normal pony put it on i suppose the would become a unicorn....

 

 hes not overpowered because he gets his power from the amulet... if its taken off or destroyed....and when i say power over the stars the limitation is that i get and take magical energy from them but cant move or manipulate them...

OK. Thats a little better. You never clarified that his power came from an amulet. 

[Batchaction 9]

OK. Thats a little better. You never clarified that his power came from an amulet. 

 

Check out my original post I edited it and now its a bit more developed...

[Jeric 46,851]

Just a heads up ... that little tag that says "Critique Wanted" is a double edged sword. When someone asks openly for an opinion, that is what they should expect. To lock this topic preventing that because a 3rd party feels that the comments may be too insensitive is disingenuous and is completely against what this Forum Section is based around. 

 

That said, keep the focus on the OC and not the individual posting the OC. Consider this a warning. 

[Batchaction 9]

Just a heads up ... that little tag that says "Critique Wanted" is a double edged sword. When someone asks openly for an opinion, that is what they should expect. To lock this topic preventing that because a 3rd party feels that the comments may be too insensitive is disingenuous and is completely against what this Forum Section is based around. 

 

That said, keep the focus on the OC and not the individual posting the OC. Consider this a warning. 

 yep can do working with others to create a differn't OC was just using this as a tool to help develop this OC story so i can write a fan fic... my apologies if it offended anyone...

[Memory Lane 131]

We're supposed to ask about this character as a form of critique, right? I'm guessing you wanna develop him for role playing? He does have a profile in the character database after all. Well that's cool, but you know... we're running with some pretty questionable cannon here. I mean... c'mon, you already know how touchy Alicorn stuff can be.

 

In my opinion, you ought to seriously weaken the Star Amulet. The ability to draw energy from every unclaimed star in the universe is way too broken. Why not instead say it absorbs solar energy from one sun? And maybe converts that to magic energy?

 

On that note, why not make him a Unicorn to begin with? I mean... if he has to have a horn to use the Star Amulet anyway. Then you can completely avoid having to deal with an inadequate Alicorn origin story.

[Batchaction 9]

We're supposed to ask about this character as a form of critique, right? I'm guessing you wanna develop him for role playing? He does have a profile in the character database after all. Well that's cool, but you know... we're running with some pretty questionable cannon here. I mean... c'mon, you already know how touchy Alicorn stuff can be.

 

In my opinion, you ought to seriously weaken the Star Amulet. The ability to draw energy from every unclaimed star in the universe is way too broken. Why not instead say it absorbs solar energy from one sun? And maybe converts that to magic energy?

 

On that note, why not make him a Unicorn to begin with? I mean... if he has to have a horn to use the Star Amulet anyway. Then you can completely avoid having to deal with an inadequate Alicorn origin story.

 

sorry to confuse you i'm new to this... but as far as that goes it wasn't a unicorn to begin with and i could dumb down the power a bit more i suppose but i'm in the process of trying to lock this thread anyway so you wont have to worry about it anymore... also i'm working on a new OC that I can legitimately use in role play so I hope to see you there...

Edited December 26, 2015 by Batchaction

[Izanagi 176]

i head your making a new oc, and alls i can say is please do, i know oc making is a hard thing to do, but in a honesty..this oc has some interesting ideas, but it messes with canon. which is a no-no, and it doesn't..really make sense. Sorry:/ if you need help making an oc, look at fanfictions that had oc's that aren't gary or mary stu's. Ok? even i'd happily try and help. Ok?

[Batchaction 9]

i head your making a new oc, and alls i can say is please do, i know oc making is a hard thing to do, but in a honesty..this oc has some interesting ideas, but it messes with canon. which is a no-no, and it doesn't..really make sense. Sorry:/ if you need help making an oc, look at fanfictions that had oc's that aren't gary or mary stu's. Ok? even i'd happily try and help. Ok?

 

well i have an idea for a new OC i'm currently in prodution Spoilers: Name is Lasting Imprestion he is a Knight with the power to re-equip like erza from fairy tail...

Edited December 27, 2015 by Batchaction