Should chastity be cherished?

[ManaMinori 4,145]

So many young people throw themselves at people and give themselves away, because it's cool, or peer pressure, or lack of restraint. But call me old fashioned, I think chastity should be protected, saved exclusively for your partner on the wedding night, to give them the gift of your pure, untouched virginity. (First time marriage mates, of course)

 

What do others think about chastity until marriage?

Edited November 5, 2016 by Nightmare Muffin

[GeekySonic 1,150]

I think it's a respectable thing to do, but I'm not gonna condemn other people my age for doing something just because I don't agree with it. I decided to save myself for marriage, and my girlfriend has decided likewise. So, I'm happy.

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

Chastity is more about self-respect and worth than simply abstaining from sex.

 

It's putting a value on one's own willingness to give of themselves to someone they love, than most pop-culture is willing to. Pop-culture's willingness to just throw sex and sexuality all over the place probably arises from people trying to derive too much of their own self-worth from pleasures.

Edited November 5, 2016 by Blue

[Thuja 3,659]

Their body, their choice, should be respected.  Granted, it might not have been the wisest course of action but that's debatable .  Most people tend to wise up with age and experience.  Also, I really hate that term "sloppy seconds", to me it devalues someone and isn't very respectful towards others, people aren't pieces of meat to be claimed or owned.  So what if someone's "been around"?  So long as they get proper testing and take proper precautions, I don't see anything wrong with them.

Edited November 5, 2016 by Thuja

[ARagY 1,152]

So many young people throw themselves at people and give themselves away, because it's cool, or peer pressure, or lack of restraint. But call me old fashioned, I think chastity should be protected, saved exclusively for your partner on the wedding night, to give them the gift of your pure, untouched virginity, rather than sloppy secondhand goods.

What do others think about chastity until marriage?

I think describing your body as 'sloppy secondhand goods' works greatly against any sort of cherishing of yourself and respecting yourself. I hold a lot of opinions that surely wouldn't sit well with most people, and one of them is that telling kids they'll be ruined forever because they let their sex organ do its job is incredibly damaging. You have people encouraging you to engage in intercourse as young as possible or you are 'uncool' and not worth social interaction, and you have those who think you are literal garbage when you lose it. I think both of those contribute to producing a unique blend of sexual hell. 

 

Those that want to cherish it should. Those that don't want to don't need to. The problems come because both groups are having people shoved into them due to some pressures that don't need to exist in the first place.

Edited November 5, 2016 by ARagY

[Denim&Venöm 19,044]

Not really. Sex is something to be enjoyed. Not because of peer pressure, or because it's cool, but because it feels good and becasue you are making a connection with someone through it. 

 

And virginity is a dated concept. Seeing someone as impure and tainted because they've had sex is antiquated and disrespectful to them as a person. 

 

I am becoming rather tired of having sex be seen as either a disgusting and forbidden. It is how life is made, and yet seeing things like graphic violence, how life ends, is more acceptable than how life begins.  Sex is not some forbidden evil nor some ultra-sacred act. nor is it a commodity in any sense. It is intimacy and bonding between two loving people.

 

So no. Be chaste if you are waiting for the right person(s) to come along, or because you're just not into that kind of intimacy, but don't do it based on some fear that you become tainted and lesser because of it, don't do it becasue of societies twisted puritanical reasoning against sex itself, and don't do it because you want to save it as some kind of offering to a dated institution.

 

Basically, stop making sex into a thing to be a thing that's rated and valued by who and when it's done. It's just procreation. No big deal. 

 

Just remember to wear a condom. And use birth control. 

[DeadAccount111 63]

I agree, even as just a teen, I chastity is something precious, but I know that some people judge too quickly, and I heard a saying once, love the sinner not the sin. Which is saying, you can have friends and family who make unwise choices, but you shouldn't judge someone unfairly because of a single unwise choice. Me, personally, think you should have limits on what you do, and not do with someone who you're attracted to. I use this video as my guide line, and I really like what they have to say on the subject. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJoMvJadBg

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

rather than sloppy secondhand goods

That's a really shitty way to describe someone simply because they've been sexually active prior to being with you.  What if they were married to someone else, divorced, and then remarried?  I guess they, too, would fall into the always-flattering "secondhand goods" category according to your high standards.

 

And, if anything, LOVE - rather than marriage - should be the clincher.  It's possible for two people - outside of marriage - to fall in love and be with one another.  It's also possible for there to be no love at all between two people who are married.  Which is preferable?  Two unmarried people who love one another and express that love physically, or two married people who can barely stand one another who have sex because they exchanged vows and share the same bed?

 

But we're both talking about a personal choice that an individual has to make for themselves.  I hope you don't fall in love with someone who's had sex before; it would probably confuse the hell out of you.

Edited November 5, 2016 by Ziggy + Angel + Rain

[DeadAccount111 63]

That's a really shitty way to describe someone simply because they've been sexually active prior to being with you.  What if they were married to someone else, divorced, and then remarried?  I guess they, too, would fall into the always-flattering "secondhand goods" category according to your high standards.

 

And, if anything, LOVE - rather than marriage - should be the clincher.  It's possible for two people - outside of marriage - to fall in love and be with one another.  It's also possible for there to be no love at all between two people who are married.  Which is preferable?  Two unmarried people who love one another and express that love physically, or two married people who can barely stand one another who have sex because they exchanged vows and share the same bed?

 

But we're both talking about a personal choice that an individual has to make for themselves.  I hope you don't fall in love with someone who's had sex before; it would probably confuse the hell out of you.

I can see your opinion, but you really shouldn't be rude or judgemental, that's the opposite of you're trying to say

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

 

 

I can see your opinion, but you really shouldn't be rude or judgemental, that's the opposite of you're trying to say

The wording that I took issue with in the OP was both rude and judgmental.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

If that's important to you, then yes. But you don't have the right to judge others if they have a different opinion. Your phrasing in the OP really is judgemental and biased, so I don't appreciate that much, but hey, you do you, boo.

[Discordian 6,015]

What's wrong with a bit of fun in bed? Sex is one of the most enjoyable physical experiences and I'd rather not deprive myself of it over something as trivial as marriage.

 

Of course one should still be careful about accidental pregnancy. That is something you should save until marriage, or until the two can agree to take care of the kid together and/or be together for a significant amount of time. Marriage or no, children need to have the emotional and financial support of their parents.

[DeadAccount111 63]

The wording that I took issue with in the OP was both rude and judgmental.

Exactly, and I agree with you on that, but we shouldn't do it in return. That is all I was trying to say.

[Cuddleton 32]

I think people can make their own choice when they have Sex, if you find it respectable to keep your own Chastity have fun doing that, mean while there will be plenty of people having fun not doing that. 

[Hastur 505]

Alright, I don't think chastity should be "protected" unless the person in question wants it to be.

I personally don't pass up an opportunity for intercourse with a male(unless I'm unsure of diseases) because I know that there's a large chance of me not getting married. It sucks; but, it is what I was given. There is no plan of marriage(I hope it happen~), so there is no point in saving myself

Those are my two cents-- do whatever you want, don't try to tell others what to do.

[ManaMinori 4,145]

That's a really shitty way to describe someone simply because they've been sexually active prior to being with you. What if they were married to someone else, divorced, and then remarried? I guess they, too, would fall into the always-flattering "secondhand goods" category according to your high standards.

 

And, if anything, LOVE - rather than marriage - should be the clincher. It's possible for two people - outside of marriage - to fall in love and be with one another. It's also possible for there to be no love at all between two people who are married. Which is preferable? Two unmarried people who love one another and express that love physically, or two married people who can barely stand one another who have sex because they exchanged vows and share the same bed?

 

But we're both talking about a personal choice that an individual has to make for themselves. I hope you don't fall in love with someone who's had sex before; it would probably confuse the hell out of you.

rude much? I'm sorry I worded it that way, and I wasn't really thinking of how that sounded at the time I posted it. But there are nicer ways to ask me to reword my post, instead of being ugly about it

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

rude much? I'm sorry I worded it that way, and I wasn't really thinking of how that sounded at the time I posted it. But there are nicer ways to ask me to reword my post, instead of being ugly about it

I guess I'll try and be more considerate the next time you or someone else on the forums says something that's blatantly insensitive and small-minded.

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

This post has been redacted by the author.

Edited May 10, 2021 by Blue

[Victoria Sponge 1,017]

I feel you should save yourself for someone you love but I don't agree with abstinence, I don't think marriage is necessary in deciding you love someone enough.

[Anonymous Old User Who Has Left 599]

Chastity should be concealed from everyone, except from the partner at the time of marriage. In regards to women in this case, this is especially important because men will exhibit their sexual desire to be with the woman. Thus it is better for the woman to reveal herself to just one man whom she feels content with being (i.e. her husband), and keep it hidden from everybody else who will inevitably want her beauty and feel dissatisfied with their life (or their current girl). This is one of the many reasons why Muslim women cover.

 

STRANGE BUT TRUE:

Women wearing hijab have expressed that dressing modestly and covering their hair, minimizes sexual harassment in the workplace. 

[IcyHaze 594]

Humans are extremely secual beings, and repressing that is pretty unhealthy. I think people should feel free too have sex with those they feel close with, but I don't like how the media overly sexualises things for both men and women.

I don't believe in slut shaming, but I also don't think dressing in revealing clothes, getting drunk and sleeping with as many men as possible should be shown as a good thing either.

[Concerned Bystander 2,902]

It depends entirely on the individual.  If someone chooses to save themselves for marriage then great, I respect that.  If someone wants to try it all before settling down and jumps on anything with a pulse at every opportunity then that's fine too.

 

All that matters is that both you and your partner are comfortable with whatever choice you make with that person, and are happy to accept whatever past you may have.  If you aren't happy being with someone that comes with a sexual history then don't get involved with that person, it really is that simple.

 

In the Western world we have the freedom to make these choices for ourselves, and as long as you make that choice consciously, on a well-informed basis then it should be if not respected, then at least accepted by everyone else.

[Envy 6,169]

I don't like the word 'chastity' it reeks of connotations aligned with the extremely toxic "purity culture".

 

Nevertheless, it is good to show some restraint toward sex for various reasons. Those reasons not including it making you "immoral", "dirty", "used", "sinful", etc. - they're more about the risks involved.

 

Personally, I believe in waiting until I'm completely in love with someone. I was raised to believe in only doing it after marriage, but over time I recognized that was an archaic belief. Even still, that's just my belief. I don't hold anyone else to my standards... and TBH, I might not hold myself 100% to those standards. =P  (I mean, I haven't been with someone I love in SEVEN years, almost EIGHT. I think my "one true love" was either the one that left me [and that's that, it's over, forever] or doesn't exist, it makes sense with everything else about my life.)

[Vulcan 3,254]

To an extent...To me, it's important and should be given to someone that reflects that. I don't really feel chastity is something that should wait till marriage but at the same time I don't think it should be given to someone who one has only known for a few months o-o .

 

Those are just my own beliefs though and I believe people should be given the opportunity to make their choices without prejudice for its outcomes. 

[n0body555 334]

Honestly, I never really cared about protecting it.

 

Don't plan on getting married or have a really meaningful relationship unless it somehow comes up.

 

I lost my virginity to some random person. I find it all just fun, personally.  I don't feel guilty about any of it.