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How long did you spend outside of your home yesterday?


Reecejackox

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(edited)

Not much. I stay at home most of the day. We treat it as a retirement house. It is what my mother always wanted. The reality is that I am a reflection of her in almost everything. She cut me off from finding relationships, she wanted me to look at my own sexuality with shame, she made me into the "child" that I am today, despite the fact that I am a 33 year old man. And I let her.

But there is an important reason for all this, not just developmental, but also family related. So, now whenever it comes to stare at that visceral emptiness that stands between life and death, and that sometimes drives us to do desperate things. I am there, standing between that void and her. Like her child. Like she always wanted me to be. Because she sacrificed for me, and I sacrificed in return. I always loved her like nothing else in this world. Not just as a mother, but as a woman. But I restrained that passion ever since childhood, and promised never to look at her in that way again. So, whenever you see me going a little insane. You know where that pain comes from. It is the animal inside of me that is suffering. But it is a sacrifice I made for her love. And we are killing each other this way. But not hurting each other in this life is almost impossible.

The truth is that we have been really happy most of our lives. Even when she complains, she doesn't understand how good her life has been. And that is all that matters to me. This is our selfish way.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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  • 4 weeks later...

Roughly 9 hours counting work and going to the store.


mlpwoodwinds.jpg
Everything needs more woodwind!

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I want to say 4 hours. I went to see my grandparents and then we went out for lunch, so about 3 hours there. Then I had to go out and get dinner later on, which took about another hour. :twi:


At first I rejected the zero, but that was because I simply didn't understand it. Now I do.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 5 weeks later...

2 or 3 hours. Mostly just running errands. :p


At first I rejected the zero, but that was because I simply didn't understand it. Now I do.

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