How you become the person you are and will be.

[MrJK 399]

Being different, some strive towards it, some work against. It is the thing that defines a person.First we should discuss how a person becomes who they are. While it is (Disputedly) true that everyone has a base personality from when they are born, this is hardly what makes; in fact, its actually a small percentage. The person you become and the ways you will change are almost all dependent on what and how you are exposed to things, and how you begin to react to those things, jokingly or not.

 

Let me focus on the " begin to react to those things, jokingly or not." of that last part. What i mean by that is, if you decide to make a decision, the people around you will respond to it Immediately. As a rather extreme example, If i was to, say, murder bunnies by the hundreds, the people around me would most certainly accuse me of being a psychotic murderer. (Which in this case, might be true, but for the sake of the example lets not assume that) But in your mind, you assumed everyone would think it was a big joke and they would laugh and everybody would be happy.

 

Now, i can see how that example may be a little out there, so i will make another as a more practical, sensical one. Say that you found your friends really appreciate talking about video games, but you, being a man of high class, dont really pay them much attention. You decide however to bring up conversation about it with them, just for the sake of conversation, not that you like it. They take to this, and if you repeat this, they will begin to think this is how you are, and that is part of the person you are. If you do it long enough, you yourself will begin to believe it as well.

 

Now, i can hear you asking "Hey, masterful wisdom guy, how do you become what you want to be? Not what others perceive you as?" Well, smart homo sapien person, this can be extremely difficult. For, since you were young, you have been exposed to everything around you your whole life (Crazy, right?) and when peopled responded to what you did, you took to it, making that part of you, whether it be good(You did something funny and made them laugh) or bad (You bit a cat and were scolded for it.) So, to change who you fundamentally are, requires you to always, and i mean always, be conscious of your decisions. Every single one. You must do, all the time, what you want yourself to be. If you really want to punch people in the face, do it! Consistently! But you must realize, they may not appreciate that. (Surprisingly)

 

Now, we must also realize, becoming what other people perceive you as, isn't a bad thing, not by a long shot. In fact, not many of us are anything but. Which may be depressing for some of you, but its just how things are. But, like i said, if you are really committed, you can change. It will be difficult, but it is not out of the realm of possibility, not by far. Be keep note, most people don't make entire 180's in the middle of their life, they don't go from being a sweet, gentle person to a psychotic killer, there are things, (As afore mentioned) That were part of you and will always be part of you. (Keeping in mind that psychotic murderer is not one of those things.)

 

So, in conclusion, you are what you were exposed to, you can change if you really want to, and i love NewCalamity.

 

(also, keep in mind ponies, this is my opinion from what ive gathered from my short 14 years on this earth and it is all my opinion, not fact. [although most of it is educated, not mindless dribble.]

Edited July 6, 2012 by DJ-JK

[Titan Rising 2,156]

Interesting thread and I agree with a lot of it. Right now the truth is I'm struggling with breaking free of the way people perceive me - that's more than I usually care to share with the internet though and with that I'm done.

 

You're a pretty smart guy, not a bad writer either. I would be interested to hear your opinion on other things to be honest, I'll be looking forward to reading your future posts/threads

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

While exposure does affect people, I don't think it's as significant as you make it out to be.

 

You make it sound as if people are nothing but molded figurines who have no say in their own development until they make some extreme effort to become 'different'. Obviously anything that happens around you has an effect in some way, shape, or form, but people still have minds to think on their own through the situation. It's not like the end result is always against your will.

[False Perception 482]

Hold it. I'm going to stop right here. Listen. It's been proven that our environment plays a large role in our development.

 

Some times things are buried subconsciously and you can't change.

 

Since I'm too lazy, I'll just hold a Cracked Linkstorm of my own...

 

Oh. Looks like I had a lot less...

 

There is a TON of science behind this kind of stuff and I could take hours explaining it, or I could just give you a gist of a gist like I am right now.

[MrJK 399]

While exposure does affect people, I don't think it's as significant as you make it out to be.

 

You make it sound as if people are nothing but molded figurines who have no say in their own development until they make some extreme effort to become 'different'. Obviously anything that happens around you has an effect in some way, shape, or form, but people still have minds to think on their own through the situation. It's not like the end result is always against your will.

 

Hmm, this is true. Darn it, i should have put greater emphasis on the fact that its not only the way others perceive you, its the way you react to that. Unfortunately, i cant fix that now, oh wells :3

[False Perception 482]

Hmm, this is true. Darn it, i should have put greater emphasis on the fact that its not only the way others perceive you, its the way you react to that. Unfortunately, i cant fix that now, oh wells :3

 

It's called the edit. People edit posts when presented new evidence all the time. We hold nothing against if you did. But when talking about your environment, you have to remember the environment that you were surrounded by when you couldn't think for yourself. Just being surrounded by a language is the easiest way to learn it when very young.

[Nah 3,182]

From hanging out with the right people and being a really nice guy most of my life, and finally, never doing something stupid in my life.

[Titan Rising 2,156]

While exposure does affect people, I don't think it's as significant as you make it out to be.

 

You make it sound as if people are nothing but molded figurines who have no say in their own development until they make some extreme effort to become 'different'. Obviously anything that happens around you has an effect in some way, shape, or form, but people still have minds to think on their own through the situation. It's not like the end result is always against your will.

 

I'm really not sure how you came to that conclusion by reading this... The way I read it sounds something more like he's examining the way we are shaped by other people's expectations of us vs the way we are shaped by the expectations we have for ourselves, and that it's basically easier/more common to allow the expectations of other's to influence us than the ladder. I read nothing that suggested he believes there's a definite outcome to the way a person will be.

 

 

Hold it. I'm going to stop right here. Listen. It's been proven that our environment plays a large role in our development.

 

Some times things are buried subconsciously and you can't change.

 

Since I'm too lazy, I'll just hold a Cracked Linkstorm of my own...

 

Oh. Looks like I had a lot less...

 

There is a TON of science behind this kind of stuff and I could take hours explaining it, or I could just give you a gist of a gist like I am right now.

 

 

All of that is just statistics and conjecture that ultimately doesn't mean anything. And saying something like "Some times things are buried subconsciously and you can't change" is an impossibly big claim to make and state it as fact...

Edited June 28, 2012 by Nonspecific Action Figure

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

I read nothing that suggested he believes there's a definite outcome to the way a person will be.

 

Nor did I ever mention he stated that.

 

He put a lot of emphasis on cause and effect and development by exposure. He left out the part that people have their own consciences, or at least didn't put much emphasis on it to make his message seem realistic.

[Lostwanderer 367]

This looks like psychodynamic theory...Which is highly outdated.

[MrJK 399]

This looks like psychodynamic theory...Which is highly outdated.

 

Well i would appreciate if you told me what the current theory is rather than just telling me mine is wrong.

[Sky 746]

Well I believe we are all just reflections of the people around us and are experiences in life. We are not born with a personallity we are born with nothing. This idea first came to me while I was 10 this made me believe that I am nothing yet everything. But when you say you can Change doesnt that mean that we would a reflection of you this will once again make us nothing. The only way that you can change and become an individual is if you think about it yourself but now you have read this I have told you to think about it which will make you a reflection of me. We can never stop being other people.

[Chill Mists (Chilly) 801]

Murder is the unlawful killing, with malice aforethought, of another human. You can't murder bunnies for they are not human. Sorry for that, misusing words is just something that annoys me. If it annoys you you can tell me to shut up. Edited July 4, 2012 by Chill Mists (Chilly)

[Whiteshade 1,426]

Well I believe we are all just reflections of the people around us and are experiences in life. We are not born with a personallity we are born with nothing. This idea first came to me while I was 10 this made me believe that I am nothing yet everything. But when you say you can Change doesnt that mean that we would a reflection of you this will once again make us nothing. The only way that you can change and become an individual is if you think about it yourself but now you have read this I have told you to think about it which will make you a reflection of me. We can never stop being other people.

 

Tabula Rasa in a nutshell

 

Personally, I believe that people are born with varying talents and intelligences, but that a large majority is centered around the middle, much like a standard bell curve. Thus, as society is run by people, people should be influenced by society, as most likely its around the same level. Of course though, there are exceptions, as maybe person A becomes successful from the poorest, most destitute of backgrounds, and vice versa, as person B originates from a very safe and peaceful setting but then goes and kills more than 70 kids. However, the general trend should be that one of influence (or indoctrination) through society, and thus propaganda works as many are receptive to it. Also change is malleable, of course 180s can't work overnight, but with a focused effort, reform is possible in most cases (few exceptions for same reasons).

[Cupcake Ice Cream 436]

Love this topic

 

so I am 3 weeks from finishing my masters degree in psychology and about to start my PhD in research psychology. Along the ways I have learned dozens of theories on personality development and while it may not be right for some I would say I agree with Carl Jung's theory and perform therapy with his theory. So here is the breakdown.

 

So every person is born with some of their personality in them. In a way it is passed down, some instinct and some original. Then when you are born your psyche fractures due to conflicting views and opponents of your original personality. So our jobs (if one wants to become mentally whole again) is to enter into a process of what he called reindividuation or reintegration. This is a process whereby the person works throughout his/her life to put all the pieces back together including the pieces he/she has found through their life's travels. Only when you can form this old and new information into a whole do you become 100%. As stated in OP, it is rare for someone to be able to pull this off 100%. I am working on it with my own therapist and I work on it with my patients. It's a long road but I feel by facing your own shadow and demons

 

So if I were to summarize I feel it is both nature and nurture that forms us. It is a combination of our instincts and preconceived being as well as our environment and our caretakers/family/friends

 

Again, great topic.