How to talk to women?

[Tom 890]

But anyway, holy cow I never knew it was this complicated. I always just... ya know, said 'hi' and talked. I didn't know there were studies, and tactics, and theories, and all this stuff. And friend zones, I have never heard of these till this thread. And when they were first mentioned, I just assumed they were, ya know, something on facebook or something.

 

What's next, collage essays on how to obtain the optimal table in a Restaurant?

 

People sometimes take it too far in these matters.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

Wow I feel horrible for laughing hysterically at this stuff.

 

Don't worry, I nearly cried laughing at the pic I posted the first time I saw it.

 

To some people, encountering the opposite sex (with the intention of exploring a relationship) is as normal as breathing but for others it's like jumping off a skyscraper. I guess it depends on the level of self-esteem/self-confidence one has.

Edited January 23, 2012 by Doctor XFizzle

[Crispy 5,563]

And friend zones, I have never heard of these till this thread.

 

I have a summer home in those.

[Evilshy 5,089]

 

 

I have a summer home in those.

 

I have frequent fucking flyer miles from all the friendzones I'm in.

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

Lol, I'm gonna trust what Shank is saying because she's a girl

[Tom 890]

Lol, I'm gonna trust what Shank is saying because she's a girl

 

This would be a good idea.

[Ezynell 2,036]

Shankveld owns this thread. Thanks bunches :3

[Crispy 5,563]

I think a lot of us are still like this sometimes.

 

[Tom 890]

I think a lot of us are still like this sometimes.

 

 

Depends on who's there.

[Luurilka 325]

Here's all you need to know:

(this post is as much of a joke as SOPA, and SOPA's a joke)

[Mr. Wobbels 664]

So can i get some advice on this?

 

You're asking for dating advice on a MLP: FiM forum.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

Here are some things I can think off the top of my head,

 

For approaching women:

1.Compliment them,

but when it comes to compliments, don't just say "you're sexy" say something like "I hope you don't mind me saying hello, but I couldn't help but to notice you're the most beautiful women (insert place here)".

girls love being told they are pretty, but love even more being told they are prettier then other girls

 

2. If the girl has a unique, style, hair colour or clothing style. Compliment it, "I love how you rock that purple hair, I've never seen anyone pull it off like you have"

 

3. Smile and laugh, makes us feel more comfortable and at ease, seriousness has its time and place but not now.

 

4. Is she wearing a band-tee or something that shows an interest of hers? "Hey, I love metallica too, what's your favourite song by them? Mines blah blah blah blah"

 

5. Confidence is sexy, but don't panic if you get a little nervous either, it can be seen as cute, "sorry I'm a littler nervous, I'm not use to talking to a girl as beautiful as you "

 

The conversation

1. Find a common interest

once you find somehting you both like, go on and on about it, MAKE SURE YOU LET HERE TALK AND ASK HER QUESTIONS, girls love to talk about themselves.

2. Listen! "I've always wanted a pet cat" "Oh me too, cats are adorable, I had one when I was little and he did this really cute thing where..."

3. Don't let the conversation die, keep her interest. Find a subject she is passionate about and let her talk about it.

4. Don't talk for too long (as for first encounters the conversation can get boring)

leave after an engaging conversation "well, I better get back to my friends.."

5. End with a compliment about her personality

"It was such a pleasure to talk to such an intelligent women such as yourself" "how do you not have a boyfriend? You could be a comedian, you're so funny" *smile*

6. Get her number or add her on facebook, "if you ever want to talk again, or maybe meet up for so coffee, her's my number"

 

hope this helps

and most importantly, don't hide who you are,

be your funny, sweet, charming, adorkable self ~

 

Guys! Everything that she said! Doing this kind of talking, with my own dash of old-school chivalry, won me the heart of my first girlfriend! Strangely, I find it easier to talk to girls than guys. They're just more relaxed and have more intellectually inclined conversation as opposed to confrontational and talking about topics I have next to no knowledge of.

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

...I don't really understand why women are any harder to talk to than anybody else. Personally, I find EVERYONE hard to talk to regardless of gender. But I guess first off, I AM a lady myself. And secondly... I haven't had romantic interest in like almost anybody. But here's some general tips for talking to ANYBODY that I've heard from my speech class, will probably work on girls too.

 

Make sure you keep eye contact. Lots of smiling helps. Just don't look unpleasant. And confidence is key as Shankveld says. Also just don't think "GIRL OH MY GOD" when you're talking to one. I mean, seriously... a girl's the same as you except with a different gender. We're human beings too. Just talk to her as if you were talking to a friend or some non-girl person.

 

Just think of her as a person *first* and a girl *last*. I think the key to a good relationship is to become her friend first, and then let things escalate from there. Get to know the girl, ask lots of questions to keep the conversation flowing. Whenever there's a lull, just ask her a question. Just make it obvious that you're interested in the conversation, and I think it'll work from there. But don't come on TOO strong either... or she might think you're kind of creepy. Just be polite, friendly, and courteous.

 

Also, it helps if you look nice and cleaned up in your appearance, rather than looking all sloppy. People in general judge these things as well.

 

Otherwise though, Shank seems to have it on the ball. Seriously, listen to her. I mean, I'm not really a normal woman myself, so I can't speak for most of them. Nor do I have barely any experience in romance. But what I can say that I like personally is cute adorable awkward dorky guys, so maybe you can play off of that angle too. My boyfriend got me just by being himself and being honest, so I think this is important above all. If you do this, you're sure to bag at least one girl.

[RainbowPat 1]

just talk to girls the way you would talk to your best friend. girls like confidence.

[Crispy 5,563]

just talk to girls the way you would talk to your best friend. girls like confidence.

 

If I talked to girls the way I talk to my best friends, I'd be slapped in seconds.

[Nico 790]

Simply put, you talk to women like you do to anyone else. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

 

Derpy generic answer is sometimes true answer.

[Skye Starlight 223]

On a similar subject, how do you talk to boys? I'm a bit of a loser myself (best to ignore my post on the first page where I might have sounded like I knew something)

 

Well, anyway, the only guy I've hit it off with is Luriel, and he's 3 years younger than me... Help?

[RainbowPat 1]

If I talked to girls the way I talk to my best friends, I'd be slapped in seconds.

lol to be honest, as sophisticated and mature as girls like to act, they like dirty jokes too. girls are pretty similar to guys, they just dont show it.

[Killian Jones 2,653]

I would like to say, while I often don't have many difficulties talking to women, considering my past schools. I've never had a real relationship.

 

To clarify, just about every school I've been to in the past has had an abundance of guys and on the other hand wasn't a very big school to start with. So finding girls was hard. Because there are only about 40 or so people in your relative age group and 30 of them are boys, there is a scarceness. So all the girls I did befriend pretty much friendzoned me because they already were in relationships. College right now is just about worse, because there are hardly any, for the 500 students they boast, about 10 are girls, I luckily am friends with one, but again she has a prior relationship.

 

The other problem is that I don't like to go out and hang out really. Pretty much because I live in a deathtrap and it's not very fun to begin with.

[StarGazer 129]

Well, you don't know a girl's personality when you first see her. It's initial attraction that brings you over, this is written for first time meeting and conversations. If it's meant to be, it will come fairly easy after that. Next, this is written for adults by adults. It said women. 'Stranger danger' isn't really thing when a young man talk to you in a bar full of people. and yes, you may strike out. but cut your losses and move on, wasting time on a girl that 'friendzones you' or is not interest is just a waste of time. Because truth is, there is a girl that wants to relationshipzone you, go out and meet her ~.

 

 

By finding out her personlity type, I meant like people watching. If she's hanging back from her friends and not in the middle of a conversation/ attention, maybe she's shy or a listener. If she's the center and life of the party, maybe she's outgoing etc. Not like in depth personality anlysis. I'm a people watcher so I do this a lot It makes me feel more comfortable if I think I know what I'm getting into. For me, initial attraction is also brought on by how the person is acting. If a guy is cute but seems to be making all the noise, tossing back endless shots, and screaming I probably wouldn't approach him because I wouldn't think we'd have anything in common. I wouldn't think he was a bad person, he just wouldn't be my type.

 

I know this is a thread written by adults for adults and talking about women. I am an adult woman writing from my own experience. I just happen to be reserved and slightly anxious. And with the "stranger danger" thing that's just pertaining to me I know it sounds a but strange but that's just who I am. And I guess it's perpetuated by the fact that creepy guys often come up to me and say creepy things thinking that they're getting somewhere. If you're in a bar, you'd probably not do the "stranger danger" thing but I'd never in my life go to a bar (been there once, didn't like it) but I'm usually in this mode when I'm out and about by myself at the mall or something. If you're not in a setting that's like a bar when you know what everyone's there for, you may run into people who aren't expecting/ aren't used to being approached. That's why I suggested going for a more friendly approach with a little bit of flirtation, rather than full on flirtation. It can overwhelm some people if you start out that way.

 

As for the friendzone, that can be tricky. I personally like being friends (kind of like flirty friends not bffs) with a person for a little while first (not years) but one problem with this is that if there is not mutual attraction you can ruin the friendship. And it can be hard to see what the other person thinks of you if you are friends because friendly gestures can be confused for flirty too. I think getting out of this zone would depend on the people involved. I've known people who've done it, but like Shakveld said, it might not work.

 

I guess all women are different. Different women like different things but I think all of us like to be complimented and respected That's my 2 cents.

Edited January 24, 2012 by StarGazer

[Steel Accord 6,658]

I kinda have this problem a bit too. Mostly I get nervous, but as Shankveld said a common interest is worth gold. Almost all the girls I got along very well had a similar taste in music or another common interest. My problem is not so much beginning a conversation with a girl or befriend a girl, but I always miss "the moment" and don't get a bit more personal because I don't want to be too fast or risk something. Therefore I had a lot of girl-friends but only one girlfriend(for a very short time). Any advices on that?

The problem is also that girls often approach me with a wrong oppinion of me. I do Motocross and many other things considered as risky in my part-time and it seems hard for people to understand that altough I like those things Iam quite shy and often insecure when it comes to the social part

 

I know how you feel. I've also had many girl-friends but only one girlfriend. Believe you me, the only reason I didn't miss the moment that time was we met at a dance and I was feeling particularly daring that night.

 

 

 

There lies my problem, I am super freaked out of what other people might think of me. Seriously I can't even chat with another person because im scared of people hating me.

 

Coming from the guy who you comforted about pony crushes, you might be surprised how tolerant people are. I've both surprised and been surprised by people's acceptance.

[Legit101 299]

Coming from the guy who you comforted about pony crushes, you might be surprised how tolerant people are. I've both surprised and been surprised by people's acceptance.

 

I take most insults or the likes as a joke, because most are.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

 

 

Any advice on how I could gain confidence? Because it's really difficult for me and I would really like to be more confident in myself.

 

Not to put you down or anything, but I find it amusingly ironic that self-confidence is a personal failing yet your avatar is RAINBOW DASH.

 

 

 

I take most insults or the likes as a joke, because most are.

 

That wasn't meant as an insult. Edited January 24, 2012 by Steelquill

[Legit101 299]

That wasn't meant as an insult.

 

I don't think you understand.

You said that you were surprised how tolerant people are, implying that they were accepting of strange things and not insulting them for it.

Which is why I stated that most insults are a joke.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

Here's all you need to know:

(this post is as much of a joke as SOPA, and SOPA's a joke)

 

Fluttershy: *deep inhale* yaaay

 

That video was great! I got my first girlfriend by being who I am, whoever said "nice guys finish last" died a lonely man.

 

 

 

I don't think you understand.

You said that you were surprised how tolerant people are, implying that they were accepting of strange things and not insulting them for it.

Which is why I stated that most insults are a joke.

 

Oh, sorry. Good point actually.