Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Nightfall 3,950]

 

Shell like your mussels if you don't clam up. Either way, shell want your cockle. (A cockle is a type of bivalve, for those who don't know.)

 

 

Um... That's knot what I meant.

[Teh Boi 113]

Spy walks into a bar and the bartender says to him, "Why the WRONG face?

Dohoho, that one slaps me on the knee.

I am afraid only TF2 players will get it.

[Keypassion 232]

 

Um... That's knot what I meant.

 

I know. But I sea oppurtunites for puns and go for them.

On a random note, I'm like Goku. Just saiyan.

[Nightfall 3,950]

 

I know. But I sea oppurtunites for puns and go for them.

On a random note, I'm like Goku. Just saiyan.

 

That was very punny.

[Keypassion 232]

That was very punny.

 

I try. Not very hard though. Puns just come naturally to me. So does being like Charlie Sheen, and *points at self* WINNING!

[Nightfall 3,950]

 

I try. Not very hard though. Puns just come naturally to me. So does being like Charlie Sheen, and *points at self* WINNING!

 

Well, I'm out of puns.

If you can sea, I'm just repeating stuff...

[Keypassion 232]

Well, I'm out of puns.

If you can sea, I'm just repeating stuff...

 

Hmm. Know what my favorite flavor of pie is?

It's Pinkie Flavored Pie! Or is that one too bad?

Or did you find it sweet?

I need some jelly 'cause I'm on a roll here.

Edited July 23, 2012 by Keypassion

[Nightfall 3,950]

 

Hmm. Know what my favorite flavor of pie is?

It's Pinkie Flavored Pie! Or is that one too bad?

Or did you find it sweet?

I need some jelly 'cause I'm on a roll here.

 

What's got you buttered up?

[Keypassion 232]

What's got you buttered up?

 

You make me sound like a greaser. ('Cause you called me buttered up.)

That reminds. I want to wake up oily tomorrow. ('Cause butter is a type of oil/fat.)

[Nightfall 3,950]

 

You make me sound like a greaser. ('Cause you called me buttered up.)

That reminds. I want to wake up oily tomorrow. ('Cause butter is a type of oil/fat.)

 

Theses puns are getting out of hand... There are more than ten now!

[Keypassion 232]

Theses puns are getting out of hand... There are more than ten now!

 

Let's keep going until we reach OVER 9000!

That joke is older than my great-aunt, and she's two years younger than God. (Her words, not mine. No joke.)

[weegeez 150]

Mexican or black jokes. Once you have heard Juan, You have heard Jamal

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing Basketball...Juan on Juan

 

 

*ba dum tsk*

Edited July 24, 2012 by weegeez

[Nightfall 3,950]

You can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

Hugh, and only Hugh, can stop florist friers.

 

Wow... Just wow...

[Flittershy 6]

I wrote a ton of puns, thought of this, and started lichen it. Like a MOSS!

Yes. That just happened. Wait! Here's another!

Why was the salad late? It was too busy dressing!

HA! Get it? Because you put dressing... Nevermind. I was going to make a pizza joke... but it's way too cheesy.

YES! Right back in!

[Strawberry Tart 161]

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved. You sea what I did there?

 

I shore did!

 

I heard a couple from my history teacher.

 

1) I was listening to the Mexican weather station...they said it was going to be chili today, but hot tamale.

2) It was raining cats and dogs yesterday, don't step in a poodle!

Edited July 26, 2012 by Midnight Melody

[TheEngineer 188]

I'm not sure how much more of this pun-ishment I can take

[Twilicious 150]

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother

 

But really guys, come on, we all know that a good pun is its own reword.

[Page Turner 607]

Why Does everypony say that puns aren't funny? I love puns!

So, Let's talk about Gandhi. Undoubtedly a great guy, but there are a few things about him that most folks don't mention, for example; athlete's foot. Gandhi had one of the worst cases of athlete's foot you ever saw. or smelled. that's what happens when you wear sandals everywhere. Then there was his breath, whew, he didn't need to use violence, he could knock you out with his breath. All in all, one could say he was a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

 

READ ME

[--Eve-- 351]

Did you here about the guy who went to a sci-fi convention wearing a red shirt? They say he died of excitement.

 

What do you call a creature who just can't let go?

A klingon.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Plush cetaceans have doll fins.

The most dreaded mafioso pokemon of all time was Al Cubone.

Prisons are built on jailhouse rock.

A pony who likes old-fashioned swordfighting is a swashbucker.

This house-eating giant wasn't very hungry at lunchtime, so he just ate a kitchen wing.

 

Viscra: "Th-That window... is it c-covered in... SPI-I-DERS?" Me: "Nah, it's just a black window."

Doctor: "Where's that scan I need!" Nurse: "Well doctor, that underage kid likes to mess with machines... so, his curiosity killed the CAT."

When Captain Kirk says "Energize!" while the Enterprise needs shields, Scotty ponders: "to beam or not to beam;" that is the question for him.

 

Here's a French one: the equine version of classic comedy features one mean trickster marionette named Poulichinelle.

Explanation: "pouliche" means "female foal" (feminine of "poulain"), and "Polichinelle" is the French version of Pulcinella.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

Two mathematicians decided to join a wood sawing competition. This is because they thought that they were both well-versed in Logger Rhythms.

[CinemaBrony 1,276]

I made this little joke up quite recently, about a few weeks ago. I can't really tell whether it's mildly funny or incredibly lame:

 

What do you call a beatnik's favorite Broadway musical?

The Music, Man.

[Lightning Fluttershy 1,844]

If there were no women in the world, it would be a real pain in the butt...

 

I know, I know and I'm sorry. Heard this from a friend and laughed my ass off.

Edited September 8, 2012 by Like A Boss

[Pony Joe 583]

Theses puns are getting out of hand... There are more than ten now!

 

I wish I could say that your puns made me laugh, but no pun in ten did.

 

Heh, heh...

 

I also wish I could say I came up with that one myself.

[Page Turner 607]

Have some TF2 Puns.

 

What did the Heavy say when he saw a Spy with a Spy-cicle?

"Icy Spy!"

 

what did the engineer say when his car-freshner fell off the mirror of his car?

"SCENT TREE DOWN!"