The Grrreat and Powerful OC Review Thread

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

Well, people like to get their OC's reviewed. So much so in fact, that threads offering reviews get positively clogged.To counter that, I have decided to create this awesome and ingenious system:

 

1.Review one OC posted in this thread (preferably one not yet reviewed)

2.Post a link to an OC you'd like to have reviewed

3.?

4.Profit

 

Consider the possibility that people won't like your OC, if that's likely to upset you, maybe don't post here.

A good format for a review would be:

 

Design: What you think about the OC's look, colourscheme ect. Thoughts on the name go here as well

Backstory: Is it any good? Too edgy/grimdark, too sappy?

Rating: on a scale from 1 to 10

 

Please note that unless the Fausticorn herself descended on a golden cloud and declares the OC to be perfect, there's probably room for improvement and therefore a 10/10 is not justified. If it does happen, take pictures.

 

 

So since I'm starting this and I got a bucketkoad of OC's: I'll just leave this list here and let you pick:

Silverwisp

Joan

Big Boss Butch

Muspel

Edited July 10, 2013 by Silverwisp the Bard

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

Ooooh I want my OC reviewed! I remember you from a while back, you drew my pony so thank you once again but anyways heres my pony.

 

Before anything though, I want to say that he is not an average joe pony, I tried to make him and his story sound interesting and epic. I didnt want to go too crazy though, and make him an alicorn overlord or anything like that, he does have his weaknesses and he isnt an extremely powerful pony, but he isnt a normie either. So please give me all your feed back. 

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/ocelot-r3834

[Foreigner And Lover 207]

First I'll review Silverwisp. The overall design is very good, I can easily imagine him being a bard. The stitches in the hat is a nice touch. I have a few small complaints. The reddish body is a little too harsh for a bard, perhaps you could use something more orangish? And as for the cutie mark, it's fine as it is, but it reminds me too much of Lyra Heartstrings. His backstory is a little brief, but maybe less is more.

8.5/10

 

Now to Ocelot. His design is spot on. Couldn't think of anything to fix, but I guess you could lengthen the hoodie all the way to his flank. His personality is decent, but you need to add maybe another vice to balance out his goodness. Not Sue-ish at all, but kind of generic.

Also, shapeshifting is really overpowered, even without the other magic. The raised by lions thing is overused, but that's an important part of his character, I suppose. But I think you should nix the wolf part as well. That screams Sue combined with the lions.

Good effort, though. 7.25/10

 

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/absolute-justice-r3895

Here's my OC. I don't like his colors too much, so I could use some suggestions. And I know his legs are wonky, I need to work on that. And I screwed up his tail. Really, I should get someone else to draw him. But I digress. Constructive criticism welcome!

[Budding Night 1,043]

Oh, yes!
 
Please review my Evening Glory, I am very proud of her and I tend to update/add things to her backstory and personality regularly. She is truly perfect in my eyes, but I do wonder where I can improve her and what others think of her :3
Click Here to find her.
 
My review of one of @Silverwisp the Bards OC's is in the spoiler below

Warning: I'm pretty bad with words and I have no idea how to do reviews xD

 

Character: Muspel

 

Appearance: I, personally, think she looks great, the colour palette is very general but clashes really well. I like how you've put that she usually has soot covering her, it adds quite a bit of depth to her and I reckon its well done, instead of markings on her coat its just soot. They eyes is another thing, from hazel to silver from fire is a very good idea, it feels as it plays quite a role in her story (I haven't yet read everything, it probably doesn't but I thought I'd mention it.), although it is quite strange, but I suppose not everypony can be perfect. A small thing, the lack of tail sounds interesting, it's usually very.. noobish, I suppose to have no tail, but this seems okay with her.

The last thing I'm going to talk about here is what she wears. Canterlot Pyromancer order? *Impressed-Whistle* Sounds awesome! The flames around the sleeves and bottom of the robes show personality, and the symbols look ancient, which looks damn cool.

 

Personality: Short and simple, both this and that. It sounds quite reasonable, although it may require some more traits - The traits you have now are fine and sum her up pretty well, but perhaps for a bit of depth, a few more traits would be required.

 

Backstory: Her backstory is a bit.. confusing to me. Not all backstories need to be straight forward, though. It doesn't explain a lot, it could use a bit of work, but then again, it seems fine to me.

 

Other: FAFMIR IS SO CUTE! LIKE OH MAH GAWSH THAT IS THE CUTEST LITTLE SALAMANDER PET I'VE EVER SEEN! IT REMINDS ME OF A TINY, BABY CHARMANDER AND ITS JUST.. SO.. CUTE!

 

Overall: A very nice, tidy OC that could, by your choise, have a few touch ups.

 

Rating: 8/10

 

I hope I wasn't too harsh! I hate being harsh and mean :c

Edited July 13, 2013 by Budding Night

[♞RedLotus♞ 359]

First I'll review Silverwisp. The overall design is very good, I can easily imagine him being a bard. The stitches in the hat is a nice touch. I have a few small complaints. The reddish body is a little too harsh for a bard, perhaps you could use something more orangish? And as for the cutie mark, it's fine as it is, but it reminds me too much of Lyra Heartstrings. His backstory is a little brief, but maybe less is more.

8.5/10

 

Now to Ocelot. His design is spot on. Couldn't think of anything to fix, but I guess you could lengthen the hoodie all the way to his flank. His personality is decent, but you need to add maybe another vice to balance out his goodness. Not Sue-ish at all, but kind of generic.

Also, shapeshifting is really overpowered, even without the other magic. The raised by lions thing is overused, but that's an important part of his character, I suppose. But I think you should nix the wolf part as well. That screams Sue combined with the lions.

Good effort, though. 7.25/10

 

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/absolute-justice-r3895

Here's my OC. I don't like his colors too much, so I could use some suggestions. And I know his legs are wonky, I need to work on that. And I screwed up his tail. Really, I should get someone else to draw him. But I digress. Constructive criticism welcome!

Thank you very much for reviewing my OC, feed back is always good to hear. 

 

Anyways, I will review yours in return.

 

Hmm... so absolute justice... His concept seems pretty interesting, I like your idea as a whole. What I mean by that is that I find the big picture interesting, but I think we need to look at the small details too.

 

The design needs to be edited a bit more. I'm not going to judge your drawing but I will give you constructive criticism on your idea with the colors and such. You should really work on the color scheme, try finding something that matches him a bit more. Also, try coming up with something better for the cutie mark. A black circle does not really represent anything, its too blunt and meaningless. Try going for a fist or a punch... maybe even a sword. I think this represents his willpower better. Besides those minor flaws, I think the armor looks pretty nice, the colors of the armor also look neat.

 

His personality is alright, I like the whole "Hard on the outside but soft in the inside" personality of your character, and how you mentioned that he likes helping his friends. Everything seems pretty nice, I cant find any flaws with that.

 

The "Poor family" aspect of his background seems interesting, maybe just a bit  generic. The idea of his sister being better than him, and he being the less important child, is very creative, I like that idea a lot. It also makes his story much more interesting. You did a great job on writing about his career in canterlot. The only thing that I don't like is the fact that you are bringing  the show, and everything that is canon to interact with your OC. I am personally not a fan of OC's that have to do with the real show. Making him the captain of Luna's night guard is an example of this. There might be alot of other people out there who gave their OC's that title, and there might even be an episode regarding a character that is the captain of the night guard. Besides from these minor setbacks, I think you were very creative. 

[Foreigner And Lover 207]

 

 

The only thing that I don't like is the fact that you are bringing  the show, and everything that is canon to interact with your OC. I am personally not a fan of OC's that have to do with the real show. Making him the captain of Luna's night guard is an example of this. There might be alot of other people out there who gave their OC's that title, and there might even be an episode regarding a character that is the captain of the night guard.

 

I changed this aspect of the character. I agree with you there, actually. I was writing his bio based on a fic I'm planning on writing at some point, but from the perspective of a roleplay, it doesn't really work out. So I made his backstory have less to do with established characters.

 

 

 

A black circle does not really represent anything, its too blunt and meaningless. Try going for a fist or a punch... maybe even a sword.

I changed his cutie mark to a drill, because I think it best represents the concept of always moving forward. Hopefully no one thinks he's a miner or something. 

 

 

 

The design needs to be edited a bit more. I'm not going to judge your drawing but I will give you constructive criticism on your idea with the colors and such. You should really work on the color scheme, try finding something that matches him a bit more.

I also agree with this. I really don't like his colors. I was thinking of changing his armor to a dark purple and lavender to better match his blue coat. But I was also thinking of changing his coat to a periwinkle. Anyways, I admit I really do need to work on my drawing, especially the legs.

 

Since I'm a nice guy, I'll do a little critique of Evening Glory. Her design is fine, the colors work and match her personality. I also don't see anything wrong with her personality. But some things stick out to me in her backstory. The first thing is the memory pills. You need to explain why they were given to her, otherwise it makes her story a little over the top. I actually don't think you even need them, because it doesn't really impact her personality or the rest of her backstory from what I can see.

I'm fine with the crashed boat, since it would be nice to have for an adventure roleplay. You could explain how they got back to Equestria (I haven't read A Tropical Odyssey, sorry). I also have a few nitpicks, nothing big. How has she not heard of Canterlot? It's the capital. In addition, I don't think they have phones or cars. But I digress.

The illusion powers could use a little elaboration. It doesn't seem incredibly OP from what I can tell, but a little detail never hurts.

 

Overall, I think she's fine. 8.25/10

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

 

 

I want my OC reviewed!

Design: I really like Ocelot's design, which is why I offered to draw him for you. The one thing I might slightly change, would be the coat colour: more to make it less fleshy/shaved looking. Maybe replace the cutiemark with something less dark (see below)

Backstory: Its a bit ...gory. I'm not saying that animals don't die in Equestria, but I can't imagine a meat store turning a profit. Also, a lion killing and Ursa, really? Shape shifting is another thing, so far we've only really seen Luna accomplish something like that. If you want my suggestion, keep the raised by wild animals bit, turn the shapeshifting down a bit (maybe he just grows fur a bit longer and gains heightened senses)  and make him a specialist for catching (not killing) animals that wandered and or retrieving rare ingredients from the Everfree.

Rating: 5/10 like I said, nice design but the current backstory doesn't do it for me.

 

 

 

Here's my OC.

Design: A bit difficult to tell, due to the pic, but the white and purple seem to work and the beard is a nice touch. If you want him drawn, I'd be happy to oblige. The name seems bit strange though, not the kind of thing you'd usually call someone.

Backstory: Its decent, though you do hammer him not being very good at anything a bit too much for my taste. The family being impoverished seems a bit odd: Equestria is not the kind of place where this kind of thing happens. He also seems to have experienced a lot of stuff at an extremely young age,maybe shift that a bit further down. I like the idea of determination being his talent, but a drill seems a bit of an odd coice, how about a waterdrop (as is water steadily wearing down stone?)

Rating: 6/10

 

 

 

Please review my Evening Glory,

 

Design: Simple, serviceable design. Maybe lighten up the purple a bit and give her some sort of accessory, mabe some leaf shaped jewlery. Absolutely love the cutiemark.

Backstory: The growing up lonely and depressed bit overdone, maybe tune it down to "just not reallysocial and not passionateabout anything". Love the bit about her secret garden, very cool stuff.
 The bit with the mindwipe though... It just makes her parents look like monsters for no real whatsoever   I really think the character would be better off without this bit.

Rating: 5/10 would be a lot higher without the pill  thing

[Ihei 711]

Can you review my OC, Minty? It would mean a lot since I need to see what's wrong with her and stuff like that so I can edit her profile.

[Budding Night 1,043]

Design: Simple, serviceable design. Maybe lighten up the purple a bit and give her some sort of accessory, mabe some leaf shaped jewlery. Absolutely love the cutiemark.

Backstory: The growing up lonely and depressed bit overdone, maybe tune it down to "just not reallysocial and not passionateabout anything". Love the bit about her secret garden, very cool stuff.

The bit with the mindwipe though... It just makes her parents look like monsters for no real whatsoever I really think the character would be better off without this bit.

Rating: 5/10 would be a lot higher without the pill thing

Yeah, I see what you mean by the backstory.

 

Only reason I don't edit it to reveal why her parents made the family moved and why she was depressed is because a Roleplay I'm currently in. It's pretty much cannon for my character and I'm not allowed to reveal anything that's further in the Roleplay, so no reasons are to be told at this moment

 

Thank you greatly for the Review and good luck with any other ones you do. I hope I wasn't too mean or snappy in the paragraph above, I just wanted to give you an answer for your confusions.

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

hope I wasn't too mean or snappy in the paragraph above

Ha, this forum could use some more snappishness in the artsection, otherwise noone would ever improve.

 

 

 

Can you review my OC, Minty?

Have you read the first post?

Anyway, I'll just get started and count on your good will and decency.

 

Design: simply gorgeous. I seriously couldn't think of anything that'd eed improvement. Kudos.

 

Backstory: The texts in personality would profit greatly from some structuring, as it is it feels a bit disjointed. A pony with a taelnt for candymaking joining the guard seems odd, but I guess it takes all sorts. I'd say reduce the angstiness just a tiny bit: give her a small circle of friends she can trusts and can depend on. I really like the bit about her using sign language, makes for a nice, memorable detail.

 

Overall: 6/10 (10/10 design)

Edited July 25, 2013 by Silverwisp the Bard