The Joke Thread

[Celestial Wish 349]

(Post jokes that can make ponies have a good laugh! ) *Puns can be included.

 

Rules:KEEP IT NON-OFFENSIVE.

 

 

 

 

Why did the stop light turn red?

 

 

 

 

You would too, if you had to change in front of all those people.

[Delernil 952]

Makusu.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

badum-tish

[PsychedelicPony 440]

What do Polar Bears get from sitting on ice too long?

 

Polaroids

[Celestial Wish 349]

A man didn't like his haircut....

 

 

but it started to grow on him.

[PsychedelicPony 440]

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet

 

I don't know Y

[DubWolf 17,389]

Why can't a nose be 12 inches?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because then it's a foot!

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

*Knock knock*

 

"Come in."

[Callisto 1,877]

What happens when clock makers fight?

 

 

 

They get ticked off!

[Dattebayo 2,850]

What do you call a bear with no teeth.

 

 

 

A GUMMY BEAR.

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

[Tabe 216]

What does the farmer use to count his cows?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Cowculator...

[Razpul 55]

Anypony got any good jokes.

[True Rarity 1,240]

Well, there's one my friends like to do all the time.

 

 

What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

 

Nobody knows.

 

 

 

And there's the ever popular-

 

 

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting co-MOOOO!

 

 

[James A Williams 199]

Did you hear about the goldfish who got bankrupt?

 

Now he's a bronzefish.

[~Sassy Dashie~ 712]

I heard Ariel the princess was really shellfish.

 

I made that one up on the spot XD

[True Rarity 1,240]

Also this one that I'm sure you've all heard.

 

 

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Banana. Knock knock!

Uh... who's there?

Banana. Knock knock!

Who's there?!

Banana. Knock knock!

WHO'S THERE?!

Banana. Knock knock!

WHO. IS. THERE?

Orange.

...Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

 

 

 

And this one:

 

 

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Will you remember me in a day?

Yes...

Will you remember me in a week?

Yes.

Will you remember me in a month?

YES.

Will you remember me in a year?

YES!

Will you remember me in five years?

YES ALREADY!

Knock knock!

...Who's there?

You forgot me already?!

 

 

 

And then the dad jokes.

 

 

 

Child: Dad, I'm hungry.

Dad: Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad!

 

 

 

 

Child: Dad, make me a sandwich.

Dad: POOF! You're a sandwich!

 

 

[EddG 554]

 - Where does the General keep his Armies? Up his sleeves.

[zombienixon 330]

If a psychiatrist interviews a hooker, who pays for the hour?

[VinylWubs 1,257]

hmmm

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

Why?

 

to get to the users house! knock knock

 

whos there?

 

the chicken!

[True Rarity 1,240]

Oh, oh, I've got one that Harry Potter fans will get!

 

 

Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?

 

So no one will know what side he's on.

 

 

[Stardust Balance 7,739]

A man blew a horn directly into a mime's ear.

 

It was defeaning.

[gone~ 614]

Did you hear about the time Rarity bumped into a church bell?

 

It was THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. DING!

[Razpul 55]

Knock knock

who's there

Yacht

yacht who

yacht a know me by now

Edited January 30, 2015 by Razpul

[marigo 37]

Q: Why did Applejack buck Flash Sentry in the face?

 

A: [ Because Apple doesn't Support Flash!  ] (white text, click and drag from left to right to reveal)

 

I know, that was a dumb joke

 

use this thread to share your jokes!

[Gearbox10mm 794]

Airline food. What is up with that stuff?