Another Silly Vs. Topic

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

Taking another, largely facetious, stab at this lol.  People like to pit colorful, talking ponies against just the absolute worst, most unfathomably powerful, world-destroying evil entities that video games, literature, TV and movies hath ever provided.  And it's always some boring fight to the death.  Yawn.  Therefore, I've sought to change things up somewhat:

 

Each of the Mane 6 face a competitor (inexplicably dragged out of their respective universes to face a specific ponygirl).  It is not a fight to the death.  In fact, killing (anyone) is strictly forbidden, and any who so much as attempt to inflict lethal harm will be instantaneously disqualified and banished to the Lego-verse wherein they shall forever assume the form of an impotent yellow Lego block.  Attempting to cause significant or disabling physical injury to anyone will result in a similar banishment, differing only in that the assumed Lego block form will be red.  Competitors are allowed (nay, encouraged!) to "say mean things" to one another and to "talk smack."

 

Twilight Sparkle will face Pyramid Head (Silent Hill) in a book reading contest.  Whoever reads the most pages from Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations" (available in whatever languages the competitors are most comfortable with) within the given time period of thirty minutes - provided they can accurately answer a page number-appropriate question pertaining to the book afterwards - wins the competition.  Who would be the victor??

 

Rarity will face Freddy Kreuger (A Nightmare on Elm Street) in a dress-making contest.  Both competitors will have precisely one hour to make a dress and have access to the same amount of materials.  Freddy is permitted to use his "special glove" to cut fabric, but - as this competition will take place in the real world - any abilities he may possess solely in the dream world are inhibited.  The resulting dresses will be judged on a ten point scale by a panel consisting of Judge Dredd, Judge Judy, and Judge Man.  Who would be the victor???

 

Apple Jack will face the Xenomorph (Alien) in an apple pie-baking competition.  They will both have access to the same ingredients and cooking implements.  The resulting apple pies will be taste tested by Kirby, a Yoshi, and a Snorlax.  All of whom will judge the deliciousness of the pie by how "happy" they become immediately following consumption.  Except for Snorlax, who will likely fall asleep.  Who.  Would.  Be.  The victor????

 

Fluttershy will face Great Cthulhu (The Call of Cthulhu) in a blushing competition.  Cephalopods are known for their impressive color-changing abilities, so this could be anyone's game.   The blush MUST, however, be produced after the competitors have been exposed to an exceedingly cute bunny.  Criteria upon which the blush will be judged include: duration, significance of color change, and how "adorable" it makes the competitor look.  Anyone's game, indeed.  Who would...  You get the idea.

 

Pinkie Pie will face Satan (the bible) in a joke-off.  The joke cannot be of a derogatory or beyond-PG nature, and it must be accompanied by a rimshot - competitors will be provided with the means to manually produce said rimshot.  Satan is allowed to say "hell" in the wording of his joke, as he is from there.  The funniness of the jokes will be judged (by their laughter) by a panel consisting of: a human baby, a laughing hyena, and some guy that just wandered into the competition.  His name is Bob.  Whowouldbethevictor??

 

Rainbow Dash will face Godzilla in a race.  As Godzilla is a being (radioactive lizard thing?) of significant, err...  Girth - the starting line will be drawn along whatever part of his body most protrudes.  RD is permitted to fly, but she is discouraged from utilizing the Sonic Rainboom.  Because fair is fair.  The race will be conducted in a more-or-less straight line over a distance of ten miles.  If Godzilla comes close to squashing or otherwise harming ANYONE (whether deliberately or simply because he's a big dude), it's a Lego life for him.  Just to be clear: bugs do not qualify as "anyone," as they are bugs.  Godzilla is permitted to squash all the bugs he likes; he just may not squash any, say, people as if they were bugs.  Victory goes to...  Well, whosoever crosses the finish line first.  If Godzilla goes on some wacky detour because he felt like remodeling a city's skyline, that's his own fault.  Who would win???$?

Edited May 26, 2014 by PegaMister

[-Lyra Heartstrings- 100]

Rainbow dash. She would be able to move a lot faster, and dodge things

[Darker 1,351]

A senseless thread. This is gonna be fun.

 

Twilight Sparkle will face Pyramid Head (Silent Hill) in a book reading contest.  Whoever reads the most pages from Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations" (available in whatever languages the competitors are most comfortable with) within the given time period of thirty minutes - provided they can accurately answer a page number-appropriate question pertaining to the book afterwards - wins the competition.  Who would be the victor??

 

Twilight wins on this contest, but PH is not going to be happy after losing.

 

Rarity will face Freddy Kreuger (A Nightmare on Elm Street) in a dress-making contest.  Both competitors will have precisely one hour to make a dress and have access to the same amount of materials.  Freddy is permitted to use his "special glove" to cut fabric, but - as this competition will take place in the real world - any abilities he may possess solely in the dream world are inhibited.  The resulting dresses will be judged on a ten point scale by a panel consisting of Judge Dredd, Judge Judy, and Judge Man.  Who would be the victor???

 

Krueger has the superior swag, but Rarity wins this.

 

Apple Jack will face the Xenomorph (Alien) in an apple pie-baking competition.  They will both have access to the same ingredients and cooking implements.  The resulting apple pies will be taste tested by Kirby, a Yoshi, and a Snorlax.  All of whom will judge the deliciousness of the pie by how "happy" they become immediately following consumption.  Except for Snorlax, who will likely fall asleep.  Who.  Would.  Be.  The victor????

 

Applejack wins this without problem. The Xenomorph is going to be mad after this and eat the others, though...

 

Fluttershy will face Great Cthulhu (The Call of Cthulhu) in a blushing competition.  Cephalopods are known for their impressive color-changing abilities, so this could be anyone's game.    The blush MUST, however, be produced after the competitors have been exposed to an exceedingly cute bunny.  Criteria upon which the blush will be judged include: duration, significance of color change, and how "adorable" it makes the competitor look.  Anyone's game, indeed.  Who would...  You get the idea.

 

Fluttershy is not cute. Cthulhu is a dragon octopus-headed mountain-sized monster. That's pure adorableness.

 

Pinkie Pie will face Satan (the bible) in a joke-off.  The joke cannot be of a derogatory or beyond-PG nature, and it must be accompanied by a rimshot - competitors will be provided with the means to manually produce said rimshot.  Satan is allowed to say "hell" in the wording of his joke, as he is from there.  The funniness of the jokes will be judged (by their laughter) by a panel consisting of: a human baby, a laughing hyena, and some guy that just wandered into the competition.  His name is Bob.  Whowouldbethevictor??

 

Pinkie is just annoying. Satan wins this because he has just sent Pinkamena to hell.

 

Rainbow Dash will face Godzilla in a race.  As Godzilla is a being (radioactive lizard thing?) of significant, err...  Girth - the starting line will be drawn along whatever part of his body most protrudes.  RD is permitted to fly, but she is discouraged from utilizing the Sonic Rainboom.  Because fair is fair.  The race will be conducted in a more-or-less straight line over a distance of ten miles.  If Godzilla comes close to squashing or otherwise harming ANYONE (whether deliberately or simply because he's a big dude), it's a Lego life for him.  Just to be clear: bugs do not qualify as "anyone," as they are bugs.  Godzilla is permitted to squash all the bugs he likes; he just may not squash any, say, people as if they were bugs.  Victory goes to...  Well, whosoever crosses the finish line first.  If Godzilla goes on some wacky detour because he felt like remodeling a city's skyline, that's his own fault.  Who would win???$?

 

Wait... WHAT? You mean Big-G from the jap movies or the Fakezilla from the 98 movie? Either way, RD wins the race. But she will be annihilated easily by the King or the Faker after this.