DJRainbowDash

Daft Punk - Get Lucky. This is the song of my summer. Its catchy, features smooth vocals, a funky bassline, and signature Daft Punk vocal melodies. And this will easily be my album of the year. I can't wait!

Awesome! Welcome fellow brony and writer! And even though you don't have a favorite pony yet, may I suggest Rainbow Dash? The army could always use another recruit

Welcome to the forums bud! You'll definitely enjoy it here, I am, and so is everybody else I know here. And as an artist you'll definitely fit in well, there are a ton of artistic folk here.

I'm all ears!

... But I had too!!

Well... Rarity looks really surprised by that cock. ...

Glad to help! This is the kind of stuff FIMfiction users should do, but most won't sadly. They are definitely a tougher crowd to please, and I've figured that much out. Eventually I plan on putting some stuff up on there, hopefully my writing is good enough for it =P

I remember playing with some mods, like the special digging tool so I could make sunken down highways and such. I remember also playing with that money tree thing which gives you like unlimited cash I haven't played in a long time though, I forgot what mods I use exactly other than those.

Um... no?

Fair enough. Speaking of Simcity 4, I love that game. I've played Simcity for the good part of my whole life

Nah don't say that. You just have different interests

Its pretty good since you've just started writing, I remember when I first tried to publish something back on FF.net, it was a quarter of the length of this and pretty boring The dialogue is pretty solid, and I was able to get a gist of the personality of the characters pretty easily. However, there are a lot of things you could do to strengthen your writing and the story. First off, while the dialogue flows nicely, there is a lack of overall expression and emphasis on how the characters are feeling, and their emotions. Don't be afraid to write in adjectives and explain what the characters are experiencing as they talk. Like when Rainbow Shine gets extremely excited when she finds out she's going to Las Pegasus for the first time for example. Show her excitement, show how overjoyed and surprised she is. This kind of stuff adds meat to the bones of the story Also, try using some description on some things. Show us how the weather is, or what a place looks like. For example, the inside of the bar they ate at, what did it look like? What kind of people were eating there, was is darker, was it an older bar or newer, do the floorboard squeak, is there even floorboards? etc etc. It adds a nice touch to be able to fully create an image of what your reading, and this goes for characters as well. I'll give you an example of what I mean. _____ The group made their way into their favorite bar, and were greeted with a bountiful amount of smells and sounds. A very enthusiastic bunch of colts were living it up by one of the corner televisions as they cheered their favorite hockey team, while their waiter chuckled in amusement as she watched. One of these waiters, a blond colored colt with red hair, passed by with a piping hot plate of chips and queso, causing Sport's mouth to quiver with excitement at the potential taste he would receive soon. They made their way to the front desk, anxious to get some grub in their bellies. "Hello, welcome to the Cider Barrel. How can I help you?" The waiter questioned nicely, sending a smile their way. The sporty pony seemed as chipper as can be as a waiter, donning an orange Cider Barrel t-shirt along with Ponyville Cardinals cap, her long mane flowing out the back of it in a fashionable ponytail. ___ This is the kind of stuff I meant. I'm not trying to bash the story at all in the slighest, and if I'm coming off as harsh at all, please let me know. I'm just trying to help out a bit buy giving you what I've learned from writing. I'm looking forward to chapter 2 btw

Awww... okay then. I actually never watched it till this year, and it has to be one of the more exciting sports out there. Its constant energy, motion, and action!

Are any of you guys and gals hockey fans?

@, All better =P @, And I like the change in name

@, Okay I saw the picture you left. ... Kinda freaky lol

Well it worked, and I highly approve Oh and btw, I keep trying to do a mention of your name, but I doesn't work for me at all for some reason. It keeps telling me that the name has to be between 3 and 20 characters.

I imagine you could shrink it on something like MS Paint

MAKE THIS YOUR AVI NOW!!!