Something Floaty

I go alone all the time. I just went to the new X-Men film on Friday night, and let me tell you, what a waste of money and time that was.

I love driving, unfortunately the federal government, local law enforcement, and the Geneva Conventions forbid me from driving anymore. Habitual criminals are constantly released from prison and commit crimes within weeks of regaining their freedom, and no one protests. But you set ONE tank on fire and drive it through a parade and everyone gets all whiny.

Perfect health and physique, which would be immune to all forms of corruption. Then I could eat and drink whatever I wanted, plus continue smoking cigarettes, and never be sick or out of shape. Either that, or a time machine.

HIja', Dogh tera'nganpu' tlhIngan pejatlh.

College Humor is exactly what their name implies: Stupid things meant to be amusing to the dumb frat boy demographic. These are the same sort of people that made Dane Cook, possibly the worst stand-up comedian in the history of the craft, a millionaire and movie star. All College Humor videos should get tons of hate, simply for existing.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And global nuclear war. Also, deranged snipers. But mostly just fear.

I once read a book that contained justifications for slavery, murder, incest, and genocide. The characters in this book often committed depraved and horrific acts based on nothing more than the overt or tacit endorsement of a megalomaniacal and incompetent sadist. It's actually considered a classic, and indeed many people look to this book for guidance and law. There are even some who attempt to pass laws in our own country based on their interpretations of this book, whether or not the people bound by those laws are followers of this book. It's madness! Plus, it's not even well-written. A lot of it is pretty dry.

I consider myself funny, but so does everyone else. It's one of my good qualities.

Spiders are awesome. They eat (and therefore rid your life of) several obnoxious species of insects. Flies, mosquitoes, even occasionally bees. They are fascinating both behaviorally and physiologically, and I never kill them if I can help it. I always try to put them outside, and if they are in my basement or attic, I just leave them there. I only remove them from my bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen because as much as I like them, I still don't enjoy being surprised by them while lying in bed, sitting on the toilet, or eating. You should never kill spiders. I don't believe it is a sin any more than killing cows or pigs or Yankees fans, but still, they are one of the most important parts of the ecosystem (though you can say that about almost any animal. The wonder and beauty of nature!) Yes, they are creepy looking to some people, but venomous spiders are much more likely to flee than bite you and there are many more non-venomous or "human-safe" species of spider than the venomous ones. Be nice to spiders! They're a lot of the reason we all haven't died of malaria by now.

Oh, and also cats. Cats, having a job, and reading new Star Trek novels. Plus, pasta, although it doesn't make me happy anymore because I can't eat it.

The smell of napalm in the morning.

I read this blog entry while I was chilling out and maxing, and additionally relaxing all cool.