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Stone Cold Steve Jobs

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Status Updates posted by Stone Cold Steve Jobs

  1. Fact of the Day: Professor Oak knows where you are, and you can’t ride your bike there.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Splashee
    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      He just doesn’t want us using them period.

    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      Thou shall have no bikes before Oak!

  2. E4B96B17-D561-48C8-836B-9A2B70CC97CA.jpeg.1d95017b0dfb236f83f35bf5a1da5d96.jpeg

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Sparklefan1234
    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      After I make sure my safety has been secured, I'd be honored to hug my bro and offer to do something fun together, like go karting or mini golf or maybe just make fun of movies at home. :yay:

  3. My work place is sending this picture out to new members to welcome them.8BCCF435-A20D-4677-B37A-998EDA1E11E8.thumb.jpeg.27117bda0a02ffc0954068998fcca6a8.jpeg

    It freaks everyone I work with out. One teller thought it was hilarious and printed a few copies, so I snuck up to one teller who hates it especially and left it on her keyboard without her noticing.

    She noticed while I was with a member and I could not stop laughing at the reaction.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Randimaxis

      Randimaxis

      I'd quite possibly draw on the bottom half - riding a tiny motorcycle.

       

    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      But he isn’t wearing a helmet!

    4. Randimaxis

      Randimaxis

      Welcome dog need no helmut; don't need no jibba-jabba.  Welcome dog head is HARRRRRRRRD.

      'Nuff sed.

       

  4. OKAY! I get it! E69D7B6F-0621-4618-9FA3-66B2247B8E2A.thumb.png.e816b328d393ab84f6c07d25ee39212a.png

    I am very tired. Have a wonderful night my friends! Feel good and stay safe.

  5. Now for yesterday’s answer:

    In the Bible, which human commits the first murder?

    A. Judas Iscariot 

    B. Cain

    C. Abel

    D. Pontius Pilate

    This was...

    Spoiler

    B! Cain slew his brother Abel and is considered the first human to murder another human in the Bible.

    Who was the first person to kick out of the Undertaker’s tombstone piledriver?

    A. The Undertaker

    B. Hulk Hogan

    C. The Rock

    D. Kane

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Evil Pink One

      Evil Pink One

      XD...it actually made me think....the sword is not originally made by humans.... We stole that technology from the angels...... Well we humans where never original in the first place XD HELICOPTERS... FROM A DRAGONFLY... The chinook.... 2 dragonflies matingggg!!!

    3. Evil Pink One

      Evil Pink One

      Our face and figure from god....even our face isn't original XD

    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      D. I'll go with D.

  6. Oh goodie. I found a few white hairs this week.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Evil Pink One

      Evil Pink One

      I got 80% of those.... Want some?

    3. Splashee

      Splashee

      My 80s birthday was last year and I still have blond hair. Lucky me! :orly:

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      I have a buddy who is 28 a few weeks ago and he’s been bald except for the sides of his head since he was like 21.

  7. Everyone: 2020 is here! It’s going to be a great year!!

    2020:

    957C4393-CB14-4824-A35E-7421777CB676.thumb.jpeg.9e727b6d3f7d75a92231622d0ead70d4.jpeg

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Sparklefan1234
    3. Pandora

      Pandora

      :P but that’s what you do to your AC town

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      @Deerie I also do it in The Sims to be fair. Just buy a separate lot and make it into a graveyard for the sims you disappear.

      I don’t know what exactly is wrong with me. Lol

  8. 25D997E7-BC7F-41CE-B470-98EB25BFD112.thumb.jpeg.2e494acb258ed0b15e727066b196f5d0.jpeg

    Nailed it.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      Wait, when did Disney win a Pulitzer? :ooh:

    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Disney won more than just one Pulitzer. It won ALL the pulitzers.

    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      I knew all those tabloid articles they made about the Disney Princesses would amount to something...

  9. Merry Christmas everyone.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      The moves are harmless when done properly. The Stunner can presumably cause injury to the trachea but is harmless if you fall to your knees with Austin. You then rebound and sell the move. The tombstone is harmless if your head is kept at the proper height. If it is done correctly, the user takes the whole impact with his knees and the victim is unharmed.

      All it takes is one botch to cause an issue though. The worst one in the last 25 years was probably Owen Hart dying. His gimmick was that of a "bufoonish superhero" and Vince decided  that it would be funny if he was lowered into the ring by a harness. When he got three feet above the ring, he would act like he was tangled, and it would trigger a quick release, dropping him on his face for comedic effect. They tried this stunt once before but the quick release did not release properly, so Owen was stuck dangling three feet above the ring. So they gave him a different quick release, one that was meant for sailing vessels. He went over the catwalk all gitted up, and at some point must have maneuvered to get  comfortable or something, because it released early and he fell like 73 feet to the ring, catching the ropes with his chest, and being flung back into the ring itself. He may have tried to get up but lost consciousness, and his cause of death was massive internal bleeding.

      The then-WWF controversially went on with the show at the order of Vince McMahon, but all the wrestlers were visibly shaken and not into it. The Hart Family sued the WWF and won for $18 million. 

      Vince insists that his call to continue the event was warranted because a cancellation would have left fans (many of whom were drunk) to riot. The next night saw a tribute to Hart, during which Mark Henry  wept while he read a poem dedicated to Hart, and Undertaker was absent, instead spending the day with Owens brother Bret.

      I'm Sorry for the tangent. I just really liked Owen and he was probably one of the nicest people behind the scenes.

    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      Gosh, sounded like a simple enough premise for an entrance. One assumes that falling a good distances would get you banged up pretty bad, but not irreparably. All depends on how ya fall too. You hear about that, a soccer player getting kicked too hard in a fall or what went down with that whole botched Spiderman broadway musical show where appearently several people died from bad props.

       It definitely is taking a risk for something so physical!

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Owen probably would have survived if he landed in the ring itself. It is so good at shock absorption that he would have probably ended up with his entire front bruising, but he would have survived. The issue was a ref was apparently already in the ring. Some people heard him (Owen) screaming for the referee to get out of the way, but he didn’t see him. Owen moved in the air so he wouldn’t crush the guy, knowing it meant his odds of survival were less. 

  10. I just finished having my lunch, at which point they brought in pizza for the entire branch.

    Perfect timing.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      The client called. He said he wants to take away ALL your kamen rider references.

    3. Dank Pony Child

      Dank Pony Child

      Awww. No one’s a brony here for basically 50 miles.

    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      [Insert The Office one-liner here.]

      ...I never saw that show. :blush:

  11. Welp, I guess fuck me and my needs then.

    D956E5E3-AC18-491A-B47A-2F4A4340E927.jpeg

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Yes we can. Can can while we can eat the can. Now can it!

      i didn’t choose the can life, the can life chose me.

    3. Sparklefan1234
    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      When the ring comes off on the finger is that the can’s way of proposing marriage?

  12. A friendship is really put into perspective when a friend from childhood not only doesn’t invite you to her wedding, but doesn’t even tell you about the engagement or the marriage itself.
     

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. PiratePony

      PiratePony

      That really sucks. Sorry to hear that man 

    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
    4. Tacodidra

      Tacodidra

      *hugs* I'm sorry to hear that, my friend. :sunny:

  13. 19,000 brohoofs!

    Thanks guys, that’s awesome. Never thought I’d even reach that number myself! 

  14. One second. One second I lay down and now she’s doing this and I can’t move  or I will wake her.

    49F9880F-F8C1-4C65-9964-F1522A7F2EBC.jpeg

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      That is smokey my friend! She can be nice on occasion but much prefers giving me a vicious mauling whenever I pet her for too long.

    3. Dank Pony Child

      Dank Pony Child

      My dog never lays on me. She only comes when I have food.

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      How come she can lay on me whenever she wants but when I lay on her I get charged with animal cruelty?

  15. If you're bummed out about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember: nobody loves you any other day of the year either.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. The_Gobo

      The_Gobo

      Not all foxes are kitsune, but all kitsune are foxes.

      Thus 'fox' isn't racist :P

       

    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      ACTUALLY, That's speciest! And To BE Fair, kitsunes are supposed to be paranormal spirits, not just adorable animals with a spare appendage.

    4. The_Gobo

      The_Gobo

      Several spares.

       

  16. So I thought I would give you guys a heads up on the changes to my credit union due to the virus:

    Not only are we NOT closing or changing hours, we are introducing two new products to increase traffic/odds of us getting sick. 

    When we get the virus and have to quarantine, we must use our sick leave for it.

    And I never got my pizza.

    So if there was even a question of whether or not I and my fellow colleagues are going to get sick, that should be definitively answered now. Because NOTHING is more important than the almighty dollar. Not even human life.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Evil Pink One

      Evil Pink One

      ..you know what i do....instead of the company Making me stressed....i make them stressed. Hehehehehehe:Cozy: I have the reverse uno card FOO!

    3. Duality

      Duality

      You should subtly remind them of the seventh fundamental law of human resources: if your employees would get more paid leave through your workplace being closed off as the scene of a violent murder than they can get annually through other means, wear a kevlar vest.

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      @Pastel Heart That means a lot, thank you my friend. Same goes!

      @Duality We have a fellow who comes in regularly wearing a Kevlar vest. First time I saw him I thought we were getting robbed.

      If they’re not working with us in this situation why should I go above and beyond for them like I do every day? That’s done now.  They want to give us 50% commitment I will give them 50% quality work.

  17. I failed to mention this after I said I had a date and I am sorry if anyone was left wondering. It went well, and we have another one friday. 
    I have to break this habit of mine. I’ve been conditioned over time not to talk about it if I feel things are going well because in my experience that’s when they go bad. Last time I had multiple dates I really liked the person I was with only for things to go bad after 5 or 6. That stung for a while.

    Sorry to my friends for not keeping you up to speed on this. 

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Tacodidra

      Tacodidra

      I'm glad to hear it went well! :rarity: I'm sure the next one will too! :kindness: *hugs*

    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      *hugs* thanks guys. You’re all wonderful friends.

    4. Bastian

      Bastian

      *Hugs back* Of course pal!:kindness:

  18. Happy Saint Patty’s Day lads and laddies!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      It’s been pretty quiet here at work all day. So I just spent most of it on Wikipedia looking at space stuff. 

      Worth it!

    3. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      Same to you!
      ...Wait, I though it was lads and lasses. :wau:

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs
  19. 756252E8-4759-428E-908C-2E414B6899FC.thumb.jpeg.2b794c95362a132d80f61de4143cc1d3.jpeg

    My mom’s name is Gloria.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Splashee

      Splashee

      The Old Incandescent Lady™

       

      Trademark pending. :eww:

    3. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      I wish I could brohoof that twice

    4. Splashee

      Splashee

      I thought it was clever, at the time :oneheckofahat: At least it is creepy as fu.............

  20. 18000 brohoofs!!!

    This time last year I had about 3,000. You guys are the best!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      You deserve it, buddy. ^_^

    3. Octavia Heartstrings

      Octavia Heartstrings

      Congratulations, my friend! :kirin:

    4. dead account

      dead account

      Way to go, Stephanie! Congratulations! :mlp_yeehaa:

  21. Remember my car? I just found out my insurance company lied. They told me they picked my car up last night. Well my dad drove past where it broke down. It’s still there.

    Anyone here who uses Allstate, I urge you to find another insurance company. These guys are completely inept. I will be cancelling my service with them Monday.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Thanks guys. I am still grateful my tire burst though.

    3. Pandora

      Pandora

      your insurance company is an A-- :<

    4. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      Thanks for the heads up. I almost fell for their calming, reassuring commercials...

  22. 97B82104-9F6A-4839-996C-7282BE69FF23.thumb.jpeg.160d8eba4b6699554159d752ea39383a.jpeg

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      A drum and trumpet solo are a hell of a way to give a sign of your presence!

    3. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      ...Why do I hear a jazzy version of "When The Saints Come Marching In"? :blink:

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Now I hear it too what have you done?! I can’t stop hearing it!

  23. If there’s not a pony named One Trick then I call dibs on making it.

    It can do only one thing and bombs at everything else.

    The only thing it can do well is the quarter behind the ear trick.

    Spoiler

    Why do I do these things someone stop me staaahp

     

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      If I knew anything about drawing I would drum up a design and make this.

      i mean, I can draw a stick figure if that would work!

    3. Duality

      Duality

      Stick figures are perfection. Observe:

      1244316653_TwilightIsBestPony(AC-WhiteRaven).png.1b74b7e72992e14e4eeda34a5171618f.png

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Best picture ever!

  24. As selfish as it might sound, I really hope this is done with soon. I want to kayak this summer.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Yes. You have described the kayak I have become.

      join us in glorious kayak hood.

    3. Samurai Equine

      Samurai Equine

      You are the kayak, but I was the walrus. Goo goo g'joob... :worry:

      O untimely death!

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Paul Heyman noises!!

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