Stone Cold Steve Jobs
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Status Updates posted by Stone Cold Steve Jobs
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Fact of the Day: Professor Oak knows where you are, and you can’t ride your bike there.
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@Samurai Equine Oak stole them
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Why do I do these things
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My work place is sending this picture out to new members to welcome them.
It freaks everyone I work with out. One teller thought it was hilarious and printed a few copies, so I snuck up to one teller who hates it especially and left it on her keyboard without her noticing.
She noticed while I was with a member and I could not stop laughing at the reaction.
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OKAY! I get it!
I am very tired. Have a wonderful night my friends! Feel good and stay safe.
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WHAT THE TREE IS THAT?!
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Now for yesterday’s answer:
In the Bible, which human commits the first murder?
A. Judas Iscariot
B. Cain
C. Abel
D. Pontius Pilate
This was...
SpoilerB! Cain slew his brother Abel and is considered the first human to murder another human in the Bible.
Who was the first person to kick out of the Undertaker’s tombstone piledriver?
A. The Undertaker
B. Hulk Hogan
C. The Rock
D. Kane
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Oh goodie. I found a few white hairs this week.
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Everyone: 2020 is here! It’s going to be a great year!!
2020:
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@Deerie I also do it in The Sims to be fair. Just buy a separate lot and make it into a graveyard for the sims you disappear.
I don’t know what exactly is wrong with me. Lol
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Nailed it.
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Merry Christmas everyone.
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The moves are harmless when done properly. The Stunner can presumably cause injury to the trachea but is harmless if you fall to your knees with Austin. You then rebound and sell the move. The tombstone is harmless if your head is kept at the proper height. If it is done correctly, the user takes the whole impact with his knees and the victim is unharmed.
All it takes is one botch to cause an issue though. The worst one in the last 25 years was probably Owen Hart dying. His gimmick was that of a "bufoonish superhero" and Vince decided that it would be funny if he was lowered into the ring by a harness. When he got three feet above the ring, he would act like he was tangled, and it would trigger a quick release, dropping him on his face for comedic effect. They tried this stunt once before but the quick release did not release properly, so Owen was stuck dangling three feet above the ring. So they gave him a different quick release, one that was meant for sailing vessels. He went over the catwalk all gitted up, and at some point must have maneuvered to get comfortable or something, because it released early and he fell like 73 feet to the ring, catching the ropes with his chest, and being flung back into the ring itself. He may have tried to get up but lost consciousness, and his cause of death was massive internal bleeding.
The then-WWF controversially went on with the show at the order of Vince McMahon, but all the wrestlers were visibly shaken and not into it. The Hart Family sued the WWF and won for $18 million.
Vince insists that his call to continue the event was warranted because a cancellation would have left fans (many of whom were drunk) to riot. The next night saw a tribute to Hart, during which Mark Henry wept while he read a poem dedicated to Hart, and Undertaker was absent, instead spending the day with Owens brother Bret.
I'm Sorry for the tangent. I just really liked Owen and he was probably one of the nicest people behind the scenes.
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Gosh, sounded like a simple enough premise for an entrance. One assumes that falling a good distances would get you banged up pretty bad, but not irreparably. All depends on how ya fall too. You hear about that, a soccer player getting kicked too hard in a fall or what went down with that whole botched Spiderman broadway musical show where appearently several people died from bad props.
It definitely is taking a risk for something so physical!
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Owen probably would have survived if he landed in the ring itself. It is so good at shock absorption that he would have probably ended up with his entire front bruising, but he would have survived. The issue was a ref was apparently already in the ring. Some people heard him (Owen) screaming for the referee to get out of the way, but he didn’t see him. Owen moved in the air so he wouldn’t crush the guy, knowing it meant his odds of survival were less.
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I just finished having my lunch, at which point they brought in pizza for the entire branch.
Perfect timing.
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Welp, I guess fuck me and my needs then.
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A friendship is really put into perspective when a friend from childhood not only doesn’t invite you to her wedding, but doesn’t even tell you about the engagement or the marriage itself.
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19,000 brohoofs!
Thanks guys, that’s awesome. Never thought I’d even reach that number myself!
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One second. One second I lay down and now she’s doing this and I can’t move or I will wake her.
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If you're bummed out about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember: nobody loves you any other day of the year either.
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So I thought I would give you guys a heads up on the changes to my credit union due to the virus:
Not only are we NOT closing or changing hours, we are introducing two new products to increase traffic/odds of us getting sick.
When we get the virus and have to quarantine, we must use our sick leave for it.
And I never got my pizza.
So if there was even a question of whether or not I and my fellow colleagues are going to get sick, that should be definitively answered now. Because NOTHING is more important than the almighty dollar. Not even human life.
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@Pastel Heart That means a lot, thank you my friend. Same goes!
@Duality We have a fellow who comes in regularly wearing a Kevlar vest. First time I saw him I thought we were getting robbed.
If they’re not working with us in this situation why should I go above and beyond for them like I do every day? That’s done now. They want to give us 50% commitment I will give them 50% quality work.
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I failed to mention this after I said I had a date and I am sorry if anyone was left wondering. It went well, and we have another one friday.
I have to break this habit of mine. I’ve been conditioned over time not to talk about it if I feel things are going well because in my experience that’s when they go bad. Last time I had multiple dates I really liked the person I was with only for things to go bad after 5 or 6. That stung for a while.Sorry to my friends for not keeping you up to speed on this.
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Happy Saint Patty’s Day lads and laddies!
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My mom’s name is Gloria.
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18000 brohoofs!!!
This time last year I had about 3,000. You guys are the best!
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Remember my car? I just found out my insurance company lied. They told me they picked my car up last night. Well my dad drove past where it broke down. It’s still there.
Anyone here who uses Allstate, I urge you to find another insurance company. These guys are completely inept. I will be cancelling my service with them Monday.
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If there’s not a pony named One Trick then I call dibs on making it.
It can do only one thing and bombs at everything else.
The only thing it can do well is the quarter behind the ear trick.
SpoilerWhy do I do these things someone stop me staaahp
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As selfish as it might sound, I really hope this is done with soon. I want to kayak this summer.
I'll eat you alive!
but that’s what you do to your AC town
Here's to many more! 
I have the reverse uno card FOO!
I'm sure the next one will too! 
*hugs*
At least it is creepy as fu.............
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