Any +20/25/30 who lacks of lovelife here?

[Hypn0ticD 1,213]

I'm 30, and while many a man has been interested in me, I could tell it was only for sex, and I don't care to be used like that! I've never been in a relationship, and quite honestly, I don't it'll be possible for me to enter one, so I will remain single for life, by choice!

[~Chaos~ 3,967]

Here is my personal opinion on this matter.

 

I like the single life, I am 21 and haven't figured out my life yet at all, so I personally don't feel the need for a relationship right now, and I find it silly that people seem to think they have to be in a relationship. I know it's different for some people, but enjoy your time being single! 

 

This is just how I feel, of course others will think differently.

[Jokuc 8,173]

Oh hey, another thread that reminds me how much of a loser I am

 

It's not about some sort of status at all, most of the time it is just all about wanting to experience it. Personally, I am a person who feels a need for physical contact with another person. You can feel quite depressed when you don't have anyone to love and be with. I mean I'm alright with being single, I just want to get some love from someone at least once, you know.

 

But um... you know

 

 

At least some 63 year old guy on a gay site wants me!

Edited July 5, 2014 by Jokuc

[Treble Bolt 1,122]

 

 

Im starting to see this constantly and what bugs me is that if ones speaks of ones self in such a demeaning manor,how should one expect to find someone who will find them appealing when all they do is beat themselves into the ground?

 

Women do not want to approach a man who is digging his own emotional grave.(most of the time)

 

Men do not want to approach a woman who is digging her own emotional grave.(most of the time)

 

So for all the people out there who are single and desire a partner,male or female: Please please please stop deflating your own confidence balloon because it will not help you.  

 

My apologies if ive offended anyone.

 

It's all about one's perspective upon what relationships entail. Many relationships around me seem to fail due to the extremities upon how people look upon themselves and those they want to be with. If you are self-degrading, it will be reflecting upon how you treat others all around you, even if you are not in a relationship. If you become over egotistical and think you are all that, then you also have the same effect of pushing people away. There needs to be a balance upon your own self perspective (how you view yourself) and your worldview in regards to how you view others around you.  In other words, PP is right, stop being so hard on yourselves. That's selfish thinking, and that will only continue to hurt you. Words have power, and if you can easily create a self-fulfilling wish with such self-negativity.  Don't allow that for yourself if you want to seek a healthy, sustainable relationship.  Remember that you are not alone either, and you just haven't found that special someone who compliments you in a healthy, mature way. All the best things in life take patience, and waiting is the hardest thing anyone can do. But please know you aren't alone; I mean, just look at this specific thread. You should be focused on lifting one another up and encouraging one another, not degrading yourself and thus unintentionally putting others in the same boat.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Treble Bolt

[The Mane-iac 1,648]

27 here and have been single for over 8 years now. Mostly by choice though since I've been rather depressed and dealing with health concerns. The job front has also just about been nonexistent, so I figure why bother if I couldn't do anything anyways.

 

I've only been in one relationship, it lasted almost 4.5 years. I'm nothing like the typical stereotyped guy, as in I have no interest in one night stands and sleeping around. I want an actual relationship, those few years were some of the best of my life so far and I pretty much want that again. Though hopefully for life this next time. Might not ever happen though because I really hate the idea of "dating", I just want to skip all that.

 

I have found though that my "short" height seems to put off quite a few women, its rather annoying and disrespectful. I'm also very on the fence about kids, so who knows. I suppose once I'm done with college and have my life together a bit more I can worry about finding someone.

[Flutter's lover <3 8,205]

I've had a couple boyfriends, but both broke up with me months later....one cheated on me at a furry con. Ever since, I've been single...Which is going on 2 years? I forget....It doesn't help I'm in a small town and rather shy when it comes to meeting new people. I've tried online, but never works out.

 

I've grown used to being alone. So romantic relationships are kinda alien to me. I"m also 25, living at home....yep...

 

In the meantime, I"ve got Fluttershy.

Edited July 5, 2014 by :Flutterdash:

[Luna 831 466]

Im 25 I been single for 19 years I have luna as my wife.

[Jon the VGNerd 885]

Being 23, and had past relationships (twice, apparently) were one of those things I learned the hard way. One was from being told that "this long-distance relationship isn't working out", even though we were doing fine, and the other who claimed that we didn't felt "connected". Well basically, its not entirely my problem that they don't share the same interests as I have so... yep. If the people from where I live doesn't work it, be it interests and such, then I can easily consider myself to move to Europe (mainly Finland) for a higher chance, even if I turn 30.

 

EDIT: Also, my dad "suggests" (and I use quotation marks) to date someone with the same "religion" as I have. Sadly, what he fails to realize that its not entirely the case, ever.

Edited July 6, 2014 by Jon the Bronynerd

[Zekromic 1,054]

Understandably so. I can see why you would think that, as I once did.

 

There's a lot of research that's been done on the subject. It's pretty well-known that people who are lonely tend to be depressed and life unfulfilling lives. Only very few people have the capability to be satisfied living alone, and that's likely due to a neurological disorder of some sort.  For just about anyone, social interaction goes from a want to a need at some point. The same is true for love and romance. For most people, it is a need.

 

It's true that, we, as social animals (YES, WE ARE ANIMALS), we possess an instinctive need for social interaction, but I don't believe that's because of any disorder. In fact, from my experience, social interactions caused more disorders than being alone, seeking the approval of others at their own expense, or hanging with people they not so secretly can't stand being the most common, and let's not get started with their "love". I believe the problem is, they think being social is to always seek to please other but themselves, AT ANY COST

[RainbowMau 291]

 You entered a stage where love sucks...? I'm not sure if I follow. You adore the idea of having a special someone but you think love sucks?

 

 

Cause I want to attract comeone by who I am, I don't have a car and I don't want one, but girls don't like guys without car, I still ive with my parents, but girls this age don't one someone like that, I'm not ready to marry or having kids, but girls at these ages ask for babies as quick as possible cause at this age their biological clock is expiring and pregnancy is about to become risky. Add to that that people assume I'm looking for someone to already marry and have sex, which none of them is true, but they keep insisting on it.

 

I want to date and have fun, special and cute moments, I want those fun and I want that special kiss that I've always dreamed with and that I'll always remember, I want that special person who I can support and who I can have support with, I want to know for the first time what love is... But you know what? THAT WON'T HAPPEN!!! People at a forum (I hope all the fucking people from that forum die... SERIOUSLY!!!) already told me that I won't find those things I'm looking for, that I'm too old for that, that there's a time for each thing and if I didn't live it before I'll never do it, that at my age I think in work and settle down and thinking in those things are just for younger people (sorry, I refuse to say the "T" word)... Do you have any terrible idea how devastated I was? And even more than I'm over 25 and my brain is fully developed (which means fucked up in this case) which is even worse for me.

 

Also if you read this article you'll know what I mean, this completely ruins the date I dream with as fuck!

http://www.thatashgirl.com/2011/05/dating-in-your-late-20s-sucks-part-1.html

Edited July 6, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Starshine 16,333]

 

 

Cause I want to attract comeone by who I am, I don't have a car and I don't want one, but girls don't like guys without car, I still ive with my parents, but girls this age don't one someone like that, I'm not ready to marry or having kids, but girls at these ages ask for babies as quick as possible cause at this age their biological clock is expiring and pregnancy is about to become risky.

 

Well... First thing first, you need to stop branding all girls with the same vain stereotypes as those. Females are humans too, each are unique and not some shitty replicas of something you saw in a movie or something. It wouldn't do you any favor if you think that all girls only see riches and wealth to determine the worth of boys. Yeah, some girls tend to do that because they like blings, but not all are that vain.

 

Some girls sees having a car or living by themselves a sign of maturity in boys, some prefers boys that have particular jobs that would match with their own, and some have their own personal preferences that might seem dang weird to boys, but it's not our right to judge them.

 

 

 

People at a forum (I hope all that human scum die... SERIOUSLY!!!) already told me that I won't find those things I'm looking for, that I'm too old for that

 

Once again, unless you're 40+ and totally unemployed, you can still find your own date. All it takes is for you to take the first step out there and start making yourself known to the world. Seriously, it wouldn't be as hard as it seems once you took the first right step.

 

But of course... you'll have to change your view on girls first. They're not toys, they're not trophies that we can haggle the price for then just put them in fancy little houses for us to play with them. They're their own human being, they have needs and standards and their own views on the world. Just because you failed on your first couple of tries doesn't mean you can stigmatize them.

 

Reading mere articles won't help you. No amount of self-help articles in this world would help you finding your own ways. Despite what others believe, there is no one exact way to success, no matter what is it that we want to achieve. You'll have to plunge yourself head-first into the fray.

[Luna 831 466]

It is hard to talk to woman when your older.

[Planty 1,053]

Wow, yeah, I know how that feels and it sucks, I saw my older siblings have girlfriend/boyfriend in high school and my little sister already having three boyfriends, one of them at 19 at leats there's still my little brother who will be 20 in a week and he's in my same status.

I'm prototype much the same! I had a GF 9 years ago and I. Now 20 and have not had one since! I can be really hard when all my friends seem to be pairing up around me and I still can't find the right person, but in the end there is no rush

 

Infact reading throguht this topic has made me feel loads better! It sometimes feels like there are no single people in the world :x

[Celtore 2,770]

22 and I haven't really been in a relationship yet. I want to stay out of that for now because I'd prefer to get through college first and become financially secure. I won't deny that I feel a bit lonely sometimes, but I have to be patient. I'll eventually meet the love of my life when the time is right, and if not, well so be it. Single life isn't that horrible either.

[Justin_Case001 4,889]

I've posted all kinds of stuff about this all over these forums, but nothing really thorough.  This thread, and some of the things you said, @RainbowMau, has prompted me to square with this issue properly, once and for all.  It's go time.  This is a thang with upon which I must deal.  (Little inside joke, there.  Er, uh, nevermind.)

 

*cracks knuckles*  Let's do this.

 

Okay, so, I'm in the same position as you, OP.  I'm 28, virgin, never been on a date, never had so much as a first kiss.  Nothing.  Zip.  Zilch.  I dream of finding love and romance more than anything in the world.  I dream of it every second of every day.  It has always been on my mind, in some capacity, since I was a small child.  I dreamed of romance at about 5 years old.  I wanted it more than anything in the world.  Though I'm not a believer in fate or destiny, I've always felt like a relationship is what I was meant for.  What I was born for.  I can't really describe how much I want it, so it's kind of useless to even try.  It's what I need to be happy in life.  But I also knew, from when I was a small child, that it would probably never happen for me.

 

I've watched my friends pair off one by one.  First it was girlfriends in high school.  I felt left out, but I was okay with it.  I didn't mind skipping the drama of relationships at that stage.  That seems like only yesterday.  Now, ten years later, most of my friends are married with their first child, and here I am, wondering if I'll ever have a first kiss.  In many ways, I still feel like I'm stuck back at high school, like I never grew up.  I've matured, sure.  But I missed out on every rite of passage imaginable when it comes to relationships, romance, and human contact.  My friends don't have time for me anymore.  I understand that.  I'm not an idiot.  I can read the handwriting on the wall.  I know how life works.  But part of me can't help but feel resentful towards my friends for having children and leaving me behind.  I don't want children, myself, btw.  Just thought I might as well mention that here.

 

Ok, now here's where things get a litte more...difficult to explain.  One really can't broach this subject without being told, time and again, that relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be, that one can be just as happy, even happier, single.  You've got the cynical people, the people who have made mistakes and learned the hard way, the people who have been hurt, the people who have been-there-done-that, and are a bit worse for wear.  All of these people will give us (you, OP, me, and anyone else who feels the way we do) the benefit of their experience and tell us to stop defining ourselves by our lack of relationship.  They may share their revelations that, after life beats us around a bit, we all learn to dream a little smaller.  Let me take a moment to answer all of these folks right now.  I have never defined myself by my relationship status.  I don't think I'm pathetic because I've never been able to find someone.  Learning to be happy by yourself is good advice.  I respect it.  I would certainly never imply that one needs to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled.  Not everyone needs it.  Not everyone wants it.  But I need it.  I feel a little resentful when I'm simply told to stop feeling that way, that I can be just as happy alone.  Some people can.  I can't.  Try as we might, none of us can truly understand exactly how another person feels.  I respect and appreciate everyone's perspective and advice, but I just know that this is what I need to be truly happy.  It's not about status, it's not about trophies, it's not about envy.  I truly want and need my soul mate, to share my life and everything I am with.

 

But who would have me?  I live with my parents, and I'm unemployed.  That makes me sound like a worthless, lazy deadbeat.  It so much more complicated than that.  I have tried many things.  I haven't found a way to make a living that works for me.  Long story short, I don't fit into this society very well, and I am not suited for the kinds of jobs most people do.  The fact is, I have a lot going for me, but what woman wants a 28-year old deadbeat?  No woman, that's who.  I feel your plight, OP.  I want to date and have fun.  I want to experience the joy of getting to know that special person when we're both still young enough that life hasn't gotten in the way too much yet.  I want to have some time, just a little time with my soul mate before finances are the dominant concern in our life.  I want to have a little time with her when we're still young enough to be in good shape.  I want to experience a physical relationship when I'm still vit and virile.  Sorry if that sounds shallow.  I would never imply that sex is the most important part of a relationship, but it's still something I want.  Is that so terrible?  But there's no chance for any of that.  I'm not the type of person to jump into a romantic relationship quickly.  I would need time.  I view sex as literally putting your life in the other person's hands.  In a way, that's very true.  I would need to know someone well enough to trust her with my life before our relationship could enter that stage.  Some people think you're old fashioned if you go three dates without having sex.  It would take me years.  But I'm a very passionate and affectionate person.  It would be well worth the wait, let me tell you.  But how is any of it going to happen now?  I'm afraid it's just too late.  You want to know what my biggest fear is?  Aside from not finding my true love period, it's not finding her until I'm old, out of shape, well past my prime.  I fear that by the time I find a mate, I won't be able to see her clearly due to cataracts.  I fear that by the time I find someone who wants to have sex with me, I'll have such low testosterone that I won't even be able to perform any longer.  I fear that by the time I lose my virginity, my mate won't be able to have intercourse without pain due to severe dryness brought on my menopause.  I know that the physical aspect of the relationship shouldn't be that important to me.  Hell, ideally speaking we'd all be non-corporeal beings of pure energy anyway.  But the fact is, I'm a very physical and sexual person, and I don't want my entire young life to pass me by without experiencing it.  But it basically already has, or will by the time I could meet anyone and get to know her well enough.

 

You want to know how much I want my true love?  I would trade everything I have, my entire life, every day from this day until the day I die, for one moment, just one fleeting moment to be with her.  One minute with my true love would be worth more to me than an eternity alone.  Many people will think I'm crazy, but that's how I feel.  The only reason I keep going is because there's always hope, no matter how infinitesimal.  And what if my true love is out there, feeling the same way I do?  What if I killed myself?  Then I would be dooming her as well, taking away her chance at happiness.  I owe it to her and myself to keep trying, but it's so hard.  Every day is a battle.

 

I know that the cynics will tell me that the relationship I dream of is a fantasy and does not exist.  They're probably right.  But I have to believe that it's possible, and that there's still hope, or I can't go on.

 

OP, feel free to pm me if you feel like talking more about this to someone who's in the same boat.

 

Whew!  Sorry for the extremely long post, but it had to be said.

Edited July 7, 2014 by Justin_Case001

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

 

 

It is hard to talk to woman when your older

 

When my older? My older what? That sentence just stopped. 

 

 

I'm 28, virgin, never been on a date,

I understand what you mean because I'm in a similar situation, though I did kiss a girl when I was 28. Also, I have a good job and make money. I also resent the fact that my friends don't have time because they have families. I feel that having a family ruins your life. I have a lot of cool hobbies. Having a wife will totally destroy your independence and fun, unless you happen to find that woman who has exactly the same beliefs as you. And that is very unlikely. I would never give up my stuff for a woman. Money and possessions are much more important. Sometimes the logical thing to do is to give up. Reality is not kind. That's just the way it is.

[CMQuickfireTK 751]

I'm basically 20 so... yeah...

 

anyways, I see myself being a Bachelor for life.

 

after all, better to be happy and not married than to be married and unhappy!

[Jamaican Jam 112]

I'm 20 years old, almost 21 soon and I've never been in love or had a relationship, never kissed, or 'done it'. I know I look good, as many people has said so. Many girls, whom I was friends with has an interest in me but I never initiated. I'm single by choice. It's mainly because of the cons that keep me away from relationships, like diseases or the fact that almost everyone has had like 10 girlfriends or boyfriends by the age of 16. I'd like to be the girl's first and only special person, but I can see that is hard to achieve. I like being single and never doubted myself or felt lonely and will only get in a relationship with someone I truly have feelings for and know as a person. Of course, I won't give up though.

Edited July 6, 2014 by Jamaican Jam

[RainbowMau 291]

Well... First thing first, you need to stop branding all girls with the same vain stereotypes as those. Females are humans too, each are unique and not some shitty replicas of something you saw in a movie or something. It wouldn't do you any favor if you think that all girls only see riches and wealth to determine the worth of boys. Yeah, some girls tend to do that because they like blings, but not all are that vain.

 

Some girls sees having a car or living by themselves a sign of maturity in boys, some prefers boys that have particular jobs that would match with their own, and some have their own personal preferences that might seem dang weird to boys, but it's not our right to judge them.

 

Sadly it's not something I say, I've been asking why this happen in forums and looking for people my age who are afraid of having kids and people answer them "Are you mad? You should hurry! You'll reach 3o and having babies at 30 is risky" I complained about how people see the love at my age and that's what they replied me, it's not something I say! I also read forums in Internet with people saying "I wouldn't date a guy without a car" or "No one wants do date someone who lives with his parents!" Google it and see for yourself, it's not something I'm inventing, I'm not even happy to say it, I wish it was a lie.

 

Once again, unless you're 40+ and totally unemployed, you can still find your own date. All it takes is for you to take the first step out there and start making yourself known to the world. Seriously, it wouldn't be as hard as it seems once you took the first right step.

 

But of course... you'll have to change your view on girls first. They're not toys, they're not trophies that we can haggle the price for then just put them in fancy little houses for us to play with them. They're their own human being, they have needs and standards and their own views on the world. Just because you failed on your first couple of tries doesn't mean you can stigmatize them.

 

Reading mere articles won't help you. No amount of self-help articles in this world would help you finding your own ways. Despite what others believe, there is no one exact way to success, no matter what is it that we want to achieve. You'll have to plunge yourself head-first into the fray.

 

Yes, I've been trying to meet new people, I've been pushing hard to make people know about me, I've been opening my doors to new friends... But I failed! No one is interested in me, check this thread I opened in life advice to know what I mean http://mlpforums.com/topic/103152-friends-are-not-interested-in-knowing-me/ and I don't know what to do anymore, I'm seriously frustraded about this and I'm running out of ideas.

 

Oh, and I'm not a toy either!!! I want people to stop playing with me and my felings cause it's noy funny, it hurts me, they think because of my age and my gender I can stand everything they say and do to me and it's not true! Everyone wants to change me, everyone wants me to accomplish their standards, and if I don't do it they trhow darts to me, I don't want to do that to a girl, but no one believes me, and hypocritally everyone does it to me!

Edited July 6, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Ardhacandra 133]

I've also never had a girlfriend.. Not really, anyway. I have kissed before, but my bond with those girls wasn't anything special..

 

I had it that i've never had a girlfriend, and I really want one, but I'm rather content with my current situation (Besides the no-money bit xD). 

[Luna 831 466]

When your 40 it is hard to talk to woman im 25.

[Planty 1,053]

@@Justin_Case001, Mate, thankyou.

 

I have massive sympathies for you, I have often felt that that so much at the age of 20, that I can't even begin to understand what it feels like to be in your situation!

 

It's literally driven me crazy at times...

 

As a christian I have at times, struggled even more with it because I don't believe in dating people outside of my faith which has always shortened the odds in many ways...

 

Be thinking about you in my prayers (and anyone else in this situation)! It really sucks and I hope everyone can find that special someone!

[Virgil 685]

It occurs to me it would be best for others here that I pass on some advice from some friends of mine who have been happily married for a number of years and still going strong.

 

1. If you are unhappy with yourself at the moment, for whatever reason, don't expect being in a relationship to "fix" or "help you". It just means you brought that problem with and it's now your significant others problem as well. If you think being in a relationship will help your loneliness or whatever you want to list, your just going to make it worse for yourself and others.

 

2. We often find our significant other when we are able to be okay with being single.

 

And on some other stuff, stop worrying about your age, my brother is in a good relationship with a woman he met about six months ago, they are quite happy together currently, and he was about 32 at the time they met. It was via an internet dating site, he still lives at home, and has a low level job as an PT associate manager. And C. S. Lewis was married about age 57, and he only had 3-4 years with his wife Joy before she died of Bone Cancer; but I doubt he would have traded that relationship he did have for anything.

 

In short, get to a place where you are comfortable with yourself first ( not perfect, but working on whatever issue you have that is bothering you ), and be positive because you have time.

[Zekromic 1,054]

Many people forget these tips

[Jamaican Jam 112]

Many people forget these tips

So true. Thankfully, I always remember that.