writing deleted

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

Deleted, the new version at: the girl whit the pink jacked remake

Edited May 13, 2015 by summer breze

[Dust and Memories 557]

What the hell is this. Someone tell me.

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

It is the beginning of the story about the girl whit the pink jacked

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

I think people are forgetting english isn't the only language in the world..I din't have issues understanding the story itself honestly. 

 

Never the less, to the op: You can always try to rewrite it ofcourse, don't be discouraged by the language barriers, you can also try to have someone edit it who is more versed in the english language. Also, it was a decent story.   

[Moonlight 7,286]

I read it and the overall idea/story isn't too bad, however I would recommend an editor that is solid in English and knows more advanced grammar and spelling. Once you get an editor I'm sure the story will be lovely but for some people awkward grammar and spelling really puts them off from reading. You speak another language so you're not really expected to know extremely solid English so ignore the overly negative people in this thread who aren't helping in the slightest by mocking you. I do like the idea/story though and I wish you the best of luck!!

Edited May 9, 2015 by Bayonetta

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

Im sorry im dutch and i tryed, sorry i did it wrong, im going to delete it soon now and try again later

Your English is much better than my Dutch (I don't speak Dutch at all).  I bet your English is better than most Americans' Dutch.  Don't let that other comment bother you.  Keep writing. ^^

[KrazyDashie 1,847]

Im sorry im dutch and i tryed, sorry i did it wrong, im going to delete it soon now and try again later

hey, dont worry about it. we all arent english speakers in the world... *hugs* at least you seem to be typing english well :3 ... i dont even know a word of dutch myself XD 

 

i think the story is pretty good  

Edited May 9, 2015 by KrazyDashie

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

tnx everypony   i just make an other forum whit the same name and let my english friend help me whit writing it, tnx for liking my story   and to everypony who sayd you dont speek one word dutch: hallo is dutch for hello and doei is dutch for bye, ja=yes and nee=no. now you know 4 words

[Idris 241]

Yep, we built English out of stuff we found lying around. Originally it would have been more like Welsh maybe? My ancestors threw words in as they went about their lives, but I'm not angsty about it

 

I'm finding it difficult to write for UK and USA, because the differences can just kick the crap out of an image. Keep at it Summer !

 

( if only because I feel pretty lonely in this section of mlp )

[mars 4,862]

If you ever go on a walk around a frorest or a park on a windy, cloudy evening. You may see a girl whit a pink jacked and pink shoos. The wind is playing whit her golden Brown hair and she have white earplugs. It looks like she is going somewhere and her eyes are dreamy. When you come closer to her, it look like she does not see you. But when she has come realy close, she smiles and waves to you. If you greet her, you can go on whit your life and forget the girl you saw in the forest. But if you dont want to greet her... Let me tell you something you dont know about the girl, she is lissening rock music, she is not going anywhere and if you dont greet her, bad things will happen and you would whish you greeted her that windy, cloudy evening. This girl does realy exist and i know that not becaus i met her, or maybe i have. I know she exist becaus i am that girl.

 

If you ever go on a walk arond the forest, or a park on a windy, cloudy evening.... You may see a girl with a pink jacket and shoes. She wears white earplugs, and her headphones playing rock music. The wind plays with her golden brown hair. It looks like she's going somewhere, her eyes appear so dreamy. When you come closer to her, it looks like she does not see you. But when you get even closer, she smiles and waves at you. If you greet her, you can go on with your life and forget the girl you saw in the forest. But if you don't greet her.. Bad things will happen. She's not going anywhere. You will wish you have greeted her on that windy, cloudy evening. This girl really does exist. I never met her- or maybe I have... I know she exists because I am that girl.

 

Does that work?

It's a really interesting short story by the way! Thank you for sharing.

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

Heyy, i remade it whit the help of my friend who is better in english as i am if you want to check the new version, its called: the girl whit the pink jacked remake