Need advice/critique on a song ("Pink and Blue - Lyra's Rap")

[coltured 0]

Musical bronies, I need you. So usually I just make instrumental stuff, but after episode 100 I wanted to make a song with Lyra singing to Bonbon. I can't sing, so it turned into a rap. This is the first time I've made a semi-ok rap. I read a lot of articles and did a lot of experimentation with mixing vocals, but I am still very new at it. So right now I've done all I can think to do. Any advice/constructive critique on my mixing/instrumentation/lyrics/pronunciation/etc... would be appreciated. Thank you so much!

Link to soundcloud here https://soundcloud.com/tgaffe/pink-and-blue-lyras-rap-produced

I also put a crappy voice changer on it for experimentation. Link here https://soundcloud.com/tgaffe/pink-and-blue-lyras-rap-lyra-voice Pros: I kind of sound like a girl. Cons: It sounds like a girl rapping into a can

[Odyssey 5,717]

Hello @coltured, I have moved your thread from Creative Resources to the Music sub-forum.

[coltured 0]

oh, thank you so much, I didn't even know there was a music forum until now.

[Stallionslaughter 394]

It's very good. I wouldn't really change a lot. Personal preference here, but lyrics should fit into the beat. They shouldn't be forced or paused to fit into it. It took a while to get used to the stop in mid sentence and then for the lyrics to continue. That's just me. I hear professionals do it your way, so I must be wrong. In that case, don't listen to me, but that's what I'd change if anything.

[coltured 0]

It's very good. I wouldn't really change a lot. Personal preference here, but lyrics should fit into the beat. They shouldn't be forced or paused to fit into it. It took a while to get used to the stop in mid sentence and then for the lyrics to continue. That's just me. I hear professionals do it your way, so I must be wrong. In that case, don't listen to me, but that's what I'd change if anything.

Thank you very much! In terms of "stopping in mid sentence," I guess I don't exactly understand what you mean, sorry. Could you give an example?

[Stallionslaughter 394]

Thank you very much! In terms of "stopping in mid sentence," I guess I don't exactly understand what you mean, sorry. Could you give an example?

Toward the end it was like:

 

"This is a sent...ence. I am saying... Words."

 

I get the impression that was intended which is why I say do what you do because it's just a style that I'm not too keen on.

[coltured 0]

Toward the end it was like:

"This is a sent...ence. I am saying... Words."

I get the impression that was intended which is why I say do what you do because it's just a style that I'm not too keen on.

Ooh, the part after "So lets stand here bare and - raw." Got it. But the other parts, like when I talked out of beat, were fine? How about my pronounciation?

[Stallionslaughter 394]

Ooh, the part after "So lets stand here bare and - raw." Got it. But the other parts, like when I talked out of beat, were fine? How about my pronounciation?

Pronunciation was intelligible and well-stated. I didn't have a problem with any other part than that. I wasn't a fan of the instrumental while, after thinking about it, was appropriate to the song. The technical drum beat was a neat change up from the usual droning 4/4 hammer that most songs have.

 

I enjoyed it.