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Funniest Joke You Have Heard?


RundeWeg

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When I see a lovers' names carved into a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think how surprising it is that so many people bring a knife on their date. Love. This. Joke!!!!

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Why do sea gulls live by the sea?

 

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Because if they lived by the bay, they'd be called BAY GULLS!

 

 

this is much funnier in verbal form, have ruined it for all of you, happy monday  :love:

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If Princess Luna were a patient at a mental hospital 

what would she be called?

 

A LUNATIC  :orly:

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"There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends"

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Oh my.... My sense of humor is.... err, a little beyond what I feel the mods would tolerate... so I'll just say "The Aristocrats" and let that speak for itself

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~Hocus Pocus

Ya weni mareh mirekyarahire
Juri yu mirekerason

Kire hyari yoriherahe nyurahera
Nunnyura unera yurawera nihmerani

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Doctor: "Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. "
-
"But doctor, I am already 80!"
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"You see - I told you to quit smoking."

 

HAHAHAHA! Funny right? no? okay.
 


Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine." 
 

PFFFTTTT get it?

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​when you try your best, but you don't succeed.


when you get what you want, but not what you need.


when you feel so tired but you can't sleep.

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"Doctor and his axe-wielding assistent enter patient's room.
D: Alright, time to amputate patient's left leg.
*chop*
D: I said left!
*chop*
D: I said leg!!!"

There was some much funnier joke I had... but I forgot it. Nevertheless - LAUGH, GODS DAMN IT!  :angry:

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  • 2 years later...
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  • 6 months later...

This one's a bit longer, and I say it with sincerety :please: .

Pope is in his popemobile, going to a cathedral. The driver is getting tired. "Sir, could you take the wheel for a bit? I need to rest."

"Sure thing!"

So now the pope is driving.

He arrives at the gate and one of the church officials says to another, "sir we better not keep them waiting long".

"Why's that? Who's here?"

"Well, it's probably God, because the pope is driving!"

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On 2024-04-27 at 12:08 AM, DubWolf said:

This one's a bit longer, and I say it with sincerety :please: .

Pope is in his popemobile, going to a cathedral. The driver is getting tired. "Sir, could you take the wheel for a bit? I need to rest."

"Sure thing!"

So now the pope is driving.

He arrives at the gate and one of the church officials says to another, "sir we better not keep them waiting long".

"Why's that? Who's here?"

"Well, it's probably God, because the pope is driving!"

THIS ^^ :laugh:  


 

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Special thanks to Emerald Heart for the banner!  

 

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