sad Fanfiction - "Farewell Tea"

[Fluttery Shy 102]

Hey everypony,

 

I just put my first fanfic up on FiMFiction. I'd really appreciate it, if some of you could give it a read and leave some constructive feedback. It's just my creative outlet, but naturally I'm always looking to get better at it. Thank you in advance.

 

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/348874/short-story-farewell-tea

[Regal Shadow 825]

Cool! Love it! FIM is awesome!

[Army Truck 2]

Sweet sad story. It's really good. Very touching.

[Ra1nbowCrasH 272]

 

An interesting take on a relatively old concept. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being My Little Dashie, which after the first read has no emotional hit; 10 being The Keepers of Discord, my gold standard for sad stories), your story gets a 6. I feel like if you fleshed the story out the emotional impact would be greater, as it would give the reader more time to let what's happening sink in.

 

6/10, a bit short, but great job for a first story; keep it up!

Edited October 28, 2016 by Ra1nbowCrasH

[KiraTakahashi 748]

Damn you..I like it..I like it a lot. Very short..short and sweet..simple.