Funny Jokes

[Coffee 4,320]

Tell any funny jokes you like! 

[bigRoadman 17]

the activity of this thread

[TBD 17,228]

Here’s one. There’s once a bee who is in love with this butterfly. He asks her if they will ever get marry.

Butterfly: never!

Bee: Why not?

Butterfly: because my father is a monarch and you’re a son of a bee!

*drum rolls *.....* crickets 

okay I will step down now.

[bigRoadman 17]

ok here's one

Edited August 10, 2019 by bigRoadman

[Treeglow Flicker 13,023]

Why is Cerberus the happiest of all the dogs?

It can eat, bark and lick its butt all at the same time.

[Samurai Equine 45,889]

Oh! I have a funny joke for you! What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A TOYODA. Mmmmm... Funny Joke!
Oh! I have another joke for you! Where does the Sith go shopping? At the DARTH MALL! Mmmmm... Funny Joke!
Oh! I have another joke for you! What is a bounty hunters favorite companion? His BOBA PET! Mmmmm... Funny Joke!

Edited September 13, 2019 by Samurai Equine

[Coffee 4,320]

-deleted comment-

Edited September 13, 2023 by Starry Sky

[Crimson storm 1,826]

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie that was drowning in the ocean

 

 He was too far out man 

[Will Guide 21,325]

What would Mary Poppins serve if she was a waitress.

Iiiiiiiiiit's

(Singing) Soup-or-Salad, Fries-or-biscuits, extra olives, DONUTS!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

A young Discordian once said to Eris, "My Christian, Jewish, and Satanist friends all go to church and I don't. Is that because we're in church all the time?"

 Eris said with a smirk, "No child. It's because you and I both know better than to get up that early."

[KH7672 1,604]

Pinkie came to the party with a giant bowl of fruit punch that she was excited for everypony to try. However Applejack also arrived to the party with the best batch of cider and everypony went nuts for it. There was a line out the door and down the street for Applejack's cider, while Pinkie's punch remained almost untouched.

After two hours Pinkie approaches Twilight trying to hide her frustration saying. "Isn't it funny Twilight how AJ and I both have delicious drink options yet nopony's tried mine."

Now Twilight actually did try both and she knew it may hurt Pinkie to hear, she turned to her and said, "Pinkie I'm going to be honest with you. That would be funny except there's no punch line."

[Treeglow Flicker 13,023]

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a large fish under his arm.

He asks the fish and chip shop owner "Excuse me. Do you sell fish cakes?"

The fish and chip shop owner responds "Yeah. We sell fish cakes."

The man responds, gesturing to the fish under his arm "Thank goodness for that. It's his birthday!"

[ChrysalisM 261]

Where do griefers send their kids in the summer?

 

Spawn Camp.

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 933]

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car.

They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, a*****e!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.