mega thread How are you feeling?

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I had a chance to talk with my mother, honestly. To explain her the impotence and shame that I have to live with everyday, and how important is her fidelity to me. I told her to not be stupid, basically.

I showed her what happaned to these women who cheated on their men, when they were found. She started crying. So, I hugged her and told her that everything was gonna be alright. That there was nothing to fear, as long as she is faithful to the broken man in me. That she is my woman in this life, and how much I need her to calm the pain. Because I have to live with this lessened body as the result of the incestuous relationship she had with her own father. And that I wasn't gonna treat her like he did. Because she is everything I have.

Remember, if there is someone you love. Be honest with that person. Be faithful. Especially, if you owe them this much. That is the best you can do to advert anything bad from happening. Always with honesty. Because I had been waiting for that honesty since I was a kid. But it never happened.

Both her life and mine are in her hands now. It is a complex relationship I have with my mother/sister. This family is going down, regarless. Because I am a broken man who is depressive most of the time, and she is a still a traumatized girl who hates the whole world because of what her father did to her. Since she was pretty much a minor. And there was a degree of emotional manipulation in the process. But we will make the best out of it, while it lasts.

Stay well, people.

[Splashee 28,563]

Another week gone, I’m now feeling like 15,400

[Nitobit 1,822]

I'm feeling worse. Lonely, unimportant and unmotivated. It's been hard for me to feel happiness at all lately.

[Astralshy 26,557]

Still not feeling great, but I could distract myself today by diving into scripting.

12 minutes ago, Nitobit said:

I'm feeling worse. Lonely, unimportant and unmotivated. It's been hard for me to feel happiness at all lately.

hugs you tightly 

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,213]

Hungry and tired, thanks to Star Wars space missions  

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling pretty tired right now. Aghhhh.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

everything feels foggy to me for some reason I should go to bed i hope i will feel better when i wake up 

[TheRockARooster 51,045]

I'm feeling so happy.

[Splashee 28,563]

Feeling like getting up early, sun is shining, Easter, Saturday, so on...

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I feel better now. I feel like myself when she is by my side. It is only when I lose sight of my mother that I start becoming like a rabid animal.

I always had to deal with this on my own. Because nobody wanted to recognize what had happened in this family. Despite the fact that we could have used therapy.
It happened during the time I was studying for a career in medicine, that the "problem" started to hit me harder. Because I was lacking what was normal for any man of that age. The company. And I was falling behind. But all she did was crossing her arms. It was almost like she enjoyed to see me fail. My mother knew I was trying to move forward at the time, but she held me back, again. And everytime I would ask her, when I was interested in someone and needed advice as to how approach that person. She acted as a barrier.

Our relationship has always been like this. She tries to move on and I hold her back, I try to move on and she holds back.

In truth. I was always attracted to her. Normally, a healthier man would have looked for a woman outside his own circle. But that was never the case with me. So, I turned to my own mother. In great part, due to the inherited condition.

To this day she won't say a word about it. And she keeps acting strange around me. Using perfumes and walking in a certain manner. And it makes me feel confused and nauseous.

There is anything we can do now. They tore the family apart. Or she did. The rest of the people here always seemed to have put more blame on her than her father.
But that is the reason whenever I try to approach another person, it feels like I am cheating on my mother.

It is a mess.

Edited April 8, 2023 by They call me Loyalty

[Ice Princess Silky <3 13,813]

Phenomenal! I’m so happy Adi and everyone is here!! 

[TBD 17,254]

9 hours ago, They call me Loyalty said:

I feel better now. I feel like myself when she is by my side. It is only when I lose sight of my mother that I start becoming like a rabid animal.

I always had to deal with this on my own. Because nobody wanted to recognize what had happened in this family. Despite the fact that we could have used therapy.
It happened during the time I was studying for a career in medicine, that the "problem" started to hit me harder. Because I was lacking what was normal for any man of that age. The company. And I was falling behind. But all she did was crossing her arms. It was almost like she enjoyed to see me fail. My mother knew I was trying to move forward at the time, but she held me back, again. And everytime I would ask her, when I was interested in someone and needed advice as to how approach that person. She acted as a barrier.

Our relationship has always been like this. She tries to move on and I hold her back, I try to move on and she holds back.

In truth. I was always attracted to her. Normally, a healthier man would have looked for a woman outside his own circle. But that was never the case with me. So, I turned to my own mother. In great part, due to the inherited condition.

To this day she won't say a word about it. And she keeps acting strange around me. Using perfumes and walking in a certain manner. And it makes me feel confused and nauseous.

There is anything we can do now. They tore the family apart. Or she did. The rest of the people here always seemed to have put more blame on her than her father.
But that is the reason whenever I try to approach another person, it feels like I am cheating on my mother.

It is a mess.

Spoiler

I feel you on that. Without going on depth, my father and my mom relationship feel quite forced and it t feels like we’re basically born just to be money making machines. The feeling of caring for a family and not holding their past and their decision against them, but at the same not knowing if it’s out of love or just something to cope and not to disappoint the family. Doing something against what they want from does make me feel I’m ‘cheating’ them, it like the feeling of biting the hands that feeds you-or when you talk about their toxicity or say you met someone who provided better support and company than your own family. But I know better that’s just guilt tripping. In short, I care for them and appreciate everything they did for me but they drive me nuts with their toxicity. And for me, it’s okay to admit that. Hope you feel better though- I know how complicated all this is. If you ever wanted to talk and have someone to relate you are welcome to pm me.

(this is personal I would appreciate it that the person I replied too, are the only one allowed to read this.)

[Pandora 38,015]

PafuPafuNyaNya~ *dances*
jk but i'm feeling alright, feel like my art is slooowly improving and i am learning to use a different program!
I still have 3 commissions to finish but very little time to work on art as of late with work schedule changing and me being dead exhausted from all the pressure from work! ; A ;
I will get this done, even if it kills me xD

I'm happy people are welcoming to me not just drawing ponies now though but also anime-ish style

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,213]

Feel that an energy drink is in order to ease this stomach pain  

[Pandora 38,015]

2 minutes ago, ZiggWheelsManning said:

Feel that an energy drink is in order to ease this stomach pain  

i hope your stomach ache will go away soon zigg

[Goofyg27 6,162]

I'm doing fine just relaxing in bed currently 

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

I'm feeling nervous for someone they are doing a midterm exam at the moment

[Guest]

Tired. My midterm exam was tough, it took 3 hours to complete, but I managed. I don't know what my grade is, yet I feel like I did bad even with studying daily. These business school exams are no joke.

[Guest]

Bittersweet? I stayed up to watch The Owl House Series Finale. No spoilers. It was rushed and glossed over some things, but it was very nice and I teared up a bit at the end.

I remember a fond memory of when I found this show after the second episode aired randomly at night while I was bored channel surfing. Now here I am - years later watching the last episode premiere on YouTube and mentioning it in passing to my fellow pony fans here on the forum. It kind of brings things into perspective as I'm in a completely different place than I was three years ago. I seriously did not think things would have changed so much, but they have. The spirit of adventure never sleeps. You never know where you will be next. Unfortunately for adventure, it's way past my bedtime! Good night everybody! Happy Easter btw!

[Splashee 28,563]

Time to wake up and turn off all those feelings. Going to be an annoying day.

[Treeglow Flicker 13,621]

Pretty good. Just eager to start the new week to be honest.

[Verdant Shy 950]

Doubts.

I have doubts again (I went outside btw)

What if I rushed?

What if I lied to myself?

What if I stretched or exaggerated things?

What if I faked it?

Am if I'm acting?

I feel masculine rn I think.

I looked at mirror and didn't see an issue and was worried that I'm faking.

Also, looking at other people (especially half naked) gave my imposter syndrome and doubts. (Is this what you really want?)

One note:

I have learned some things routinely. I used and played with stuff that was given to me, usually not the correct way. And it's hard to me to try new things. (Usually due to Autism and because I'm scared and have doubts)

 

 

[Pandora 38,015]

strangely.. very giggly today xD
But daaarn i'm full, easter = eating more than you should :V <3

[Pandora 38,015]

Like i can sleep now because.. king <3 My heart has melted and a friend also made me feel happy;  
 

[Ice Princess Silky <3 13,813]

5 hours ago, Verdant Shy said:

Doubts.

I have doubts again (I went outside btw)

What if I rushed?

What if I lied to myself?

What if I stretched or exaggerated things?

What if I faked it?

Am if I'm acting?

I feel masculine rn I think.

I looked at mirror and didn't see an issue and was worried that I'm faking.

Also, looking at other people (especially half naked) gave my imposter syndrome and doubts. (Is this what you really want?)

One note:

I have learned some things routinely. I used and played with stuff that was given to me, usually not the correct way. And it's hard to me to try new things. (Usually due to Autism and because I'm scared and have doubts)

 

 

Maybe you’re non-binary?  Humans are more complex than just a label. 
 

anyway. That’s what I feel.