fan fiction This ugly yet beautiful world

[Finesthour 7,284]

http://poni.0au.de/s...beautiful-world

 

My new fanfic.

 

Currently at-

 

11485 words.

Edited January 12, 2012 by Finesthour

[Fizz. 1,078]

When we Pinkie sniffed the jacket and sneezed, my heart exploded.

[Finesthour 7,284]

When we Pinkie sniffed the jacket and sneezed, my heart exploded.

 

Lol, thanks.

 

Nice to see somepony is reading my hard work xD

[Fizz. 1,078]

Lol, thanks.

 

Nice to see somepony is reading my hard work xD

 

Finest, you're an awesome writer, why wouldn't I read it? =D

[Finesthour 7,284]

Finest, you're an awesome writer, why wouldn't I read it? =D

 

Heheh, thanks.

 

Once you read it all, PM me any questions.

 

I dun want any spoilers.

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

I don't normally read MLP Fanfics because I just don't find them entertaining without the beautiful Pony visuals, but I did read this one because I can't sleep and have nothing better to do! hehe

 

Anyway I loved it! Though please try to proofread next time. A little grammar correction can go a long way!

[Finesthour 7,284]

Heh, thanks colton..

 

Working on chapter two.

 

2nd chapter done.

[Robert3186 45]

Great work Finesthour. Looking forward to the whole thing.

[Fghik 360]

Dangit finest... Why are you so awesome all the time.

 

Can't you...I don't know...suck at something for once?

 

 

I didn't have time to read it all. But it's been great so far. I can't wait until my insomnia kicks in!

 

 

Edit: My Celestia... I hate typos...

Edited January 12, 2012 by Fghik

[Finesthour 7,284]

Dangit finest... Why are you so awesome all the time.

 

Can't you...I don't know...suck at something for once?

 

 

I didn't have time to read it all. But it's been great so far. I can't wait until my insomnia kicks in!

 

 

Edit: My Celestia... I hate typos...

 

Looks like someone new is joining my sig line.

 

You made my heart melt <3

 

My fic is now at 4.2 stars.

 

...yay?

[Fghik 360]

Looks like someone new is joining my sig line.

 

You made my heart melt <3

 

My fic is now at 4.2 stars.

 

...yay?

 

Crap.... I didn't realize you could rate stories...

Off to go raise that 4.2 to...Something higher!

[Stoner Spike 185]

Due to grammar errors and typos, I didn't understand a bit of it, but after reading it a second time, I understood it, or most of it.

 

I'm keeping track of this story now.

 

By the way, you put a new paragraph whenever a quote begins for a new character, and after you place the closing quotes, you put any extra details just after it. There is only one exception for this, and that's when the character which will have the next dialogue is not directly referenced to by a "dialogue tag (Example: said, spoke, replied, etc.)". In this small section of your story, this rule is demonstrated in the bold underlined area.

 

I'll explain more thoroughly in some examples. By the way, this is so you don't get complaints over grammar the next time you upload a chapter. Edits+grammar explanations in green italics, dialogue tags in red, dialogue in blue.

 

IMPORTANT RULE: EVERY CHARACTER THAT SPEAKS GETS HIS/HER OWN PARAGRAPH FOR THEIR DIALOGUE.

 

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Incorrect example from story:

 

 

“I really don’t understand it at all.” Gary’s aunt said, Because of the use of a dialogue tag in this section, it is required to make a new paragraph for the speaker "Gary's aunt" and place the dialogue next to it. Then, if a tag is not used to identify the next speaker, leave the details describing the next speaker within the paragraph.

 

“Really...” Suddenly, Ryou stood at the door as well. The section of "Really..." should be just after "Gary's aunt said,". "Suddenly, Ryou stood at the door as well." May remain in the same paragraph. You can put it in a new paragraph if you want to, but the dialogue of "Ryou" must be subsequent. Also, notice the lack of a dialogue tag in this section.

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Corrected example:

 

Gary’s uncle was the first to speak. “I really don’t understand it at all.” Notice the dialogue tag in bold. It makes a direct reference to "Gary's uncle" using a tag, thus requiring you to make a new paragraph for that speaker.

 

Gary’s aunt said, “Really...”Suddenly, Ryou stood at the door as well. Note that the identification of the next speaker was left in the same paragraph as the previous speaker. You do not make a direct reference via dialogue tag to the next speaker, thus making the rule apply. You can put the reference to the speaker within the same paragraph as the dialogue, but the story flows better if left within the previous speaker's paragraph.

 

“But, we aren’t lying."

 

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Hope this helped. If you didn't understand something, I can explain via message.