Brook 663 November 30, 2012 Share November 30, 2012 I want to laugh, so hit me with one that'll knock me off my seat and get me into bed Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
termenchecks 146 November 30, 2012 Share November 30, 2012 once there was a man. he went in the kitchen to make himself some toasted bread. he got so excited that his eyes popped out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaporeon 1,168 December 1, 2012 Share December 1, 2012 Guess what, chicken butt. 1 Eeveelutions: @Vaporeon: N-Harmonia : Ampharos @Flareon: Descant/Bard @Espeon: Locked @Umbreon: Lhee @Leafeon: Firebolt @Glaceon: Mal @Sylveon: Don'tDropThatDedenne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betez 1,734 December 1, 2012 Share December 1, 2012 Guess what, chicken butt. I don't get it. My OC Stay pony my friends"And ALWAYS remember...to never forget." - Someone who I'm sure has said this before I did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creamy Arty 6,252 December 5, 2012 Share December 5, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ6KWfZz4BY 1 Kyoshi made this ^^ Come join us on Equestria.tv on Fridays at 6 PM Eastern for our weekly movie nights! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 December 5, 2012 Share December 5, 2012 One night, I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I used to be a stranger 7,993 December 5, 2012 Share December 5, 2012 (edited) Think for a moment Disney. Just a little while ago we could observe an interesting behaviour by them. It wasn't necessarily evil, but it was pretty shrewd. In the past 10 years, Disney has put several films into "The Disney Vault", marketing their oldest animated features as DVD versions in Blu-Ray with bonus extra features, and then with a sideways mention to get the movies "Before they're locked away in the Disney Vault". I suppose this is an interesting marketing gimmick before discontinuing production of a film, but then I thought "Why? Why discontinue Snow White 69 years after they release it?" Then I realized the shrewdness of Disney. They've put Snow White and the Seven Dwarves in the Vault, as well as Pinocchio and Dumbo, but not Fantasia and not Bambi (which both came out in the same era- 1938-1949). The shrewdness is from the fact that they don't want to get sued. Pre-World War II Disney is the only company that could make song and dance numbers out of such motifs as cooking and cleaning for seven unruly men, smoking and refusing the authority of your parents, and then getting kidnapped, or the famous pink elephants; getting drunk off your ass. In the words of Nostalgia Critic, "You know, for kids!" Edited December 5, 2012 by Blue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brook 663 December 5, 2012 Author Share December 5, 2012 So Disney is a joke basically? Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pripyat Pony 2,608 December 5, 2012 Share December 5, 2012 I know loads of jokes... sadly, most can't be posted here. XD But here's one that's relatively safe: A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters."Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?""Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead.""Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?""Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."The third daughter moaned unintelligibly."Be quiet, Fridge," said the mother. Signature and avatar by Pucksterv. Want an Equestria Girls version, a pixel pony, or an Equalised version of your OC? Go here for links to shops here: https://mlpforums.com/blog/2506/entry-16610-details-of-my-shops/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Urdnot 2,680 December 6, 2012 Share December 6, 2012 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pripyat Pony 2,608 December 8, 2012 Share December 8, 2012 Yo mama... Harry Potter style! Yo mama's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!Yo mama's so fat that a Wingardium Leviosa spell couldn't lift her.Yo mama's so fat, she makes Hagrid look like "Mini-me".Yo mama's so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.Yo mama's so ugly, even a Dementor wouldn't kiss her!Yo mama's so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.Yo mama's so ugly that the Whomping Willow saw her and died.Yo mama's so stupid she thinks a Patronus is a kind of Tequlia.Yo Mama's so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.Yo Mama's so ugly, everybody calls her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked."Yo mama's so fat that even the Dementors can't suck her soul out in one sitting.Yo mama's so fat, if there was a painting of her, it would take ten portraits to show all of her!Yo mama's so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!Yo mama's so ugly that the Dementor's Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in a Pensieve.Yo mama's so fat that if she confronted a Boggart it would morph into a treadmill.Yo Mama's so ugly that even Voldemort won't say her name.Yo mama's so fat even Grawp can't pick her up!Yo mama's so fat that it takes two Boggarts to shape-shift into her!Yo mama's so ugly that she lost a beauty contest to a Mountain Troll.Yo mama's so ugly that when the basilisk snuck up on her and saw her face, HE dropped dead.Yo mama's so ugly she turned the Basilisk to stone.Yo mama's so fat they'd have to use transfiguration to sneak her through the portrait hole in the Gryffindor Tower.Ya mama's so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.Yo mama's so fat the core of her wand has a cream filling.Yo mama's so ugly that as a baby they had to use the Confundus Charm so the family would play with her.Yo mama's so ugly she scares the Dementors away.Yo mama's so ugly that when she asked Crabbe to take her to the Yule Ball, he decided to go with Goyle instead! 1 Signature and avatar by Pucksterv. Want an Equestria Girls version, a pixel pony, or an Equalised version of your OC? Go here for links to shops here: https://mlpforums.com/blog/2506/entry-16610-details-of-my-shops/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brook 663 December 9, 2012 Author Share December 9, 2012 I know loads of jokes... sadly, most can't be posted here. XD But here's one that's relatively safe: A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters. "Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?" "Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead." "Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?" "Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead." The third daughter moaned unintelligibly. "Be quiet, Fridge," said the mother. I know that one with the third being a boy name Richard (nickname: Dick) Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfroPony 24 December 12, 2012 Share December 12, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkane 270 December 13, 2012 Share December 13, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--Eve-- 351 December 15, 2012 Share December 15, 2012 Did you hear about the machine that made boxing gloves? it packed a punch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luriel Maelstrom 253 December 15, 2012 Share December 15, 2012 (edited) It has been said if a black cat will cross the street, it's for bad luck, Well, what about if white cat will cross the street?Daughter asks her mother "Mommy, why does the bride wear white dress on wedding?" she mom replied "Because it's the happiest day in her life." daughter asked "But what about the man?"Math Problem: Put out dots A(4;2) B(6;-2) C(5;-2) on koordinate ass (That's what was written in my math book)Daughter asks her mom "When will summer come?" the mother replied "You won't even be fast to look behind you and it will be here." the daughter began to look back rapidly "Why is it that I am looking behind myself a lot and the summer isn't here yet." Edited December 15, 2012 by Luriel ~ I'm in love with my own OC Luriel Maelstrom ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brook 663 December 15, 2012 Author Share December 15, 2012 It has been said if a black cat will cross the street, it's for bad luck, Well, what about if white cat will cross the street?Daughter asks her mother "Mommy, why does the bride wear white dress on wedding?" she mom replied "Because it's the happiest day in her life." daughter asked "But what about the man?" Math Problem: Put out dots A(4;2) B(6;-2) C(5;-2) on koordinate ass (That's what was written in my math book) lol the groom. I also have some weird shit like that in my English textbook, I can't think of one off the top of my head but there were some similars to what you said Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Phantom 9 December 15, 2012 Share December 15, 2012 I've got a few! Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless! What did the DNA molecule say to the other DNA molecule? Do these genes make my butt look fat? Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brook 663 December 15, 2012 Author Share December 15, 2012 Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff. I've got a better one, if a TV star falls in the middle of the woods and there's no cameraman to film it, does anyone care? 1 Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut 6,998 December 17, 2012 Share December 17, 2012 Here's a joke based on a scene in The Perfect Stallion: Why did Sweetie Belle hop on the back of the pastor pony while he was conducting a funeral? The decedent would've wanted it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pripyat Pony 2,608 December 17, 2012 Share December 17, 2012 At a wedding reception, the best man announced, "Everyone, stand by the person who makes your life worth living." The barman was crushed to death. 2 Signature and avatar by Pucksterv. Want an Equestria Girls version, a pixel pony, or an Equalised version of your OC? Go here for links to shops here: https://mlpforums.com/blog/2506/entry-16610-details-of-my-shops/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brook 663 December 18, 2012 Author Share December 18, 2012 At a wedding reception, the best man announced, "Everyone, stand by the person who makes your life worth living." The barman was crushed to death. why? Ask me anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Awesome One 1,315 December 18, 2012 Share December 18, 2012 Wanna hear a really lame one? Your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarligPegasi 315 December 18, 2012 Share December 18, 2012 Hispanic and Black jokes are all the same, once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. Signature by @@Champion RD92, Examples of my Art Work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pripyat Pony 2,608 December 18, 2012 Share December 18, 2012 There were three construction workers named Bill, Jim and Dave who always ate lunch together. Bill unpacked his lunch."Oh god, not ham sandwiches again," he said. "I swear, if I get ham sandwiches again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this building."Jim opened his lunchbox. "Oh for flip's sake, not peanut butter sandwiches," he said. "If I get that again tomorrow, I'm jumping off, too."Dave then took out his sandwiches. "Not cheese, I really hate cheese. If I get cheese again, I'll jump off this building as well."The next day, all three construction workers went up to the top of the building as usual. Bill opened his lunchbox."Darn it," he said. "Flipping ham sandwiches again!" and he jumped off.Jim took out his lunch. "Not peanut butter!" and he jumped off, too.Dave looked at his lunch. "Oh no, not cheese!" and did likewise.At the funeral, Bill's wife was sobbing into her hanky."If only I hadn't given him ham sandwiches!" she bawled. "He'd be alive today if I'd only made him something different!""I feel exactly the same!" sobbed Jim's wife. "I never would have made Jim peanut butter sandwiches if I'd known this would happen!".They both stared at Dave's wife, who not only wasn't crying, but had a look of exasperation on her face. "Don't look at me like that," she said."The stupid moron packed his own lunch!" 1 Signature and avatar by Pucksterv. Want an Equestria Girls version, a pixel pony, or an Equalised version of your OC? Go here for links to shops here: https://mlpforums.com/blog/2506/entry-16610-details-of-my-shops/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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