The Corrupted Wish Game

[Gatekeeper Giggle 2,902]

Granted. However, the government steals your forever full gas tank so they can solve the energy crisis. 

 

I wish that the writers of mad magazine ruled the world! 

[AkiraLeeJounouchi 857]

Granted, now everybody wants to rape you for making such a wish.

I wish Fallout Equestria was officially Cannon.

[CloserToTheSun 732]

Granted, it's a cannon, like this:

 

I wish the repair guy would get here soon so he can fix my car's window.

[Sonic Shimmer 4,133]

Granted but he burns your house down for no reason.

 

I wish I could read any book in 10 seconds flat.

[Buck Testa 5,505]

Granted, but you can only do it once and you will become blind afterward

 

I wish I could use discord's chaos magic.

[AkiraLeeJounouchi 857]

Granted but it backfires.

 

I wish we was not machines.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,647]

Granted, but we instead become Pokemon, bowing down to our human overseers.

 

I wish I had a pug that knew how to cook.

[HorsesandMOARGaloar 300]

Granted. Your pug only knows how to cook several recipes (mostly about bacon and eggs).

I wish I could noscope so easily.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,647]

That sounds pretty sweet.

 

Your wish is granted, but it is a literal, different definition of noscope, meaning you cannot scope at all, ever.

 

I wish it was November 3rd.

[Gatekeeper Giggle 2,902]

Granted. You are now in November third, -100. As the planet earth does not exist yet, you die horribly in deep space.

 

I wish I had a LOYAL army of killer clowns.

[Sonic Shimmer 4,133]

Granted but it's not you they're loyal to.

 

I wish autotuning music was illegal.

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Granted. The music industry crashes as a result.



I wish that books were hot.

[AkiraLeeJounouchi 857]

Granted, you can't read them now cuz they're too hot to touch.

 

I wish Sam didn't save Frodo.

[Gatekeeper Giggle 2,902]

 

 

I wish that books were hot.

Granted, they are so hot that they set all the libraries in the world on fire.

 

Granted, you can't read them now cuz they're too hot to touch.

 

I wish Sam didn't save Frodo.

Granted. Saron wins. 

 

I wish ninjaing people was punishable by death.

[AkiraLeeJounouchi 857]

Granted but everybody has to rape you before they die.

 

I wish the Force Unleaded wasn't nuked from the Star Wars Universe. 

[HorsesandMOARGaloar 300]

Granted. It destroys both Alderaan and the Death Star, at the very moment of the former's destruction. Now you have a Galactic Empire, strewn with anarchy and thug gangs everywhere.

I wish the Mane 6 were constellations orbiting around the star Polaris, filled with various beautiful worlds and civilizations untold.

[Sonic Shimmer 4,133]

Granted but they come to Earth and enslave humanity.

 

I wish I was 20% cooler.

[AkiraLeeJounouchi 857]

Granted, you're still not cool enough.

I wish the doctor told us what happened to Suzan.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,347]

Granted, but it's the wrong Susan.

 

I wish I could teleport around the world.

[CloserToTheSun 732]

Granted, your mind teleports out of your body, leaving your body a meat puppet.

 

 

I wish my food would stop hurting.

[soniccam1 242]

Granted, but everytime you eat food, it burns in your mouth.

 

I wish I was good at geometry.

[SparklingSquirrels 21,347]

Granted, now you're horrible at algebra.

 

I wish I could speak and understand any language I want.

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

Granted, but the people you talk to can't understand YOU.

 

I wish for this wish to backfire horribly.

[CloserToTheSun 732]

Granted, but it turns out successfully, backfiring your original wish.

 

 

I wish I could go to the theaters tonight to watch a few recent films, including The Book Of Life and Birdman.

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

Granted, but you sit behind the undead Robert Wadlow, a man with a really tall hat, Aberham Lincoln, the Heavy Weapons Guy, and Wreck it Ralph.

 

I wish that I just won the Last Poster Wins thread.