The Neigh After Tomorrow (Christmas raffle prize)

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I had posed a 1k-word-limit but the momentum took me to 1,2k.

Written following Tich's specifications and feedback on the draft. First time I've written comedy, I usually mix a little bit into epic or suspense/drama.
IDK enjoy I guess, LMAO



THE NEIGH AFTER TOMORROW


Opening his green eye to a crack, the purple pegasus lying in bed noted the sunlight filtering through the blinds. His blanket shifted as he stretched his legs and wings with delight, then pulled back a lock of blue mane fallen across his feminine muzzle.

Tich rolled over and was startled by a soft, fuzzy and warm shape next to him. It was a blonde, light green earth colt, lying on his back with a tongue hanging out of his gaping mouth. Two snorts responded to the clumsy contact, but there was no other reaction.

That reminded the pegasus of the previous night's events: four friends hanging out at a pub by the lake... him having that "drunk swimming" competition with a unicorn mare, while the others just drank cider and cheered for him. In hindsight, it seemed pretty stupid now; he had probably made a fool of himself, and so had the three other colts.

Bana must've been too drunk to enter his own bed, Tich thought.

He was about to wake up the blondie when he caught sight of a metal block on the nightstand. Taking a closer look, he recognized a stack of dog tags; Banana Delight would sometimes pick one depending on his mood, and latch it onto his collar... but always left the stack on his nightstand.

Tich's eyes grew wide. Duh, this was Bana's bedroom, not his!

"Blarg!" he let out, and slipped out of bed.

This time, the earth pony named Banana blinked his hazel eyes and yawned... before moaning in surprise and shooting upright in the bed, his mane flowing freely around his bare neck. He didn’t have his yellow collar on, but instead wore the pegasus’s black-sleeved orange t-shirt.

Tich's expression went from mild concern to disbelief as he realized the problem - Banana's tongue was stuck onto his cheek! He bit his lips to hold back while his roommate brought up a hoof to peel the tongue away.

But even after getting unstuck, the strip of muscle kept hanging down as Bana groaned: "Gah, fnap... ny thongue if ftill numb."

The pegasus broke into a fit of laughter, rolling on the floor and flailing his legs. It got even worse when he heard "That'f noth vunny ath all, Tith!" at which point he started tearing and his sides started to hurt. That’s when he felt something rubbing against his neck and head - was he wearing a collar, and was his mane tied up?

He was interrupted by a spray of saliva... no, must be water, since Banana was holding a bottle... but why did it taste salty and feel viscous?

When he was done panting, still lying flat on his side, he looked at the colt with a banana cutiemark, and asked frowning: "What in the hay was that?"

The earth pony closed the drawer where he had put the bottle back, and grinned wildly. "Why, concentrated murinic acid of course!"

Tich became a purple-blue flash neighing and rushing to the bathroom.

"Kidding!" Bana shouted, standing in the doorway. "It's just juice!"

The pegasus's head stuck out through the bathroom door, snapped: "What kind of juice is salty?", then was pulled back inside.

"Uh... Creamy Stallion Fizz?"

Tich broke the bathroom window and flew away screaming, until he remembered that was the name of a smooth cocktail at the previous night’s pub.

He was hoping nobody (pony or other) had witnessed that, but an excited "Wheee!" rose from below.

Looking down, Tich could see another, dark red pegasus with purple hair hovering near the ground, his cyan stare awkwardly directed at him. The whinnying was coming from a white-ish earth pony though, his muzzle slightly feminine but less than Tich’s, with green mane and eyes.

"Hey Ruby, you saw how he stormed right outta his house? And he’s naked! Well, except from Banana’s collar and loop..."

Ruby Storm rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It was impossible NOT to see him." He added, grimacing and rubbing his ears: "Or hear."

Tich swallowed to moisturize his sore throat, which was almost as hurt as his ego.
He nervously waved and tried to sound normal. "Hi Ruby, hey Flick." Scratching his neck under the yellow collar, he glided down and spoke as casually as possible. "How you doin' filly?"

Flicker Sweet's eyes glittered in the rising sun's light. "We're great, thanks! Oh, will you believe me if I told you we woke up this morning... in the same bed!"

The purple pegasus stood there, mouth agape, before deciding to stay quiet about his own experience. "That shoulda been pretty weird," he simply commented as he accompanied the two colts to his house.

"Kinda, we didn’t really dwell on it though."

Flicker momentarily stopped to run a hoof through his mane and pulled a lollipop out of it, which looked almost identical to his cutiemark.

Tich blinked. "You, uh… put sweets in your mane?"

"Yeah, I do now." The earth pony took a lick of the candy. "I tried hiding it in my tail too, but it’s too hard to keep it clean and in order. Because… you know."

"No, I don’t."

Ruby Storm fluttered in front of them and Tich caught sight of his flank, bearing the picture of a cloud with a ruby on top. The red pegasus sounded almost bored: "Because I ruin it when I come in from behind."

The purple one froze in place, fortunately landing on his hooves, choking.

"Yeah," the sugar addict said quietly. "He still needs to practice his landing, and wants me to watch him to provide feedback."

"…Ah." Tich took off and glided forwards.

"We in the weather service sometimes need to use the narrowest airstrips." Ruby shook his head. "I’ve done quick, short landings before, emergency landings. But precision…" He shook his coiled hooves to finish: "GAH, why can’t I do precision work?!"

The purple pegasus caught up to them as they almost reached the house. "There’s a reason I chose computers for my day job, filly. Large keys to push, plus a wheel or ball for scrolling."

Ruby pursed his lips, stopping before the door. "I really like balls and other round shapes, but I hate hard, flat surfaces. I prefer clouds; they’re plump and soft."

Then he knocked - three, two, three; the gang’s code. And surely enough, Banana opened, the t-shirt now held in his hoof.

"Hi guys!" he sang, tossing the orange t-shirt that Tich caught just in time, and was given back his collar and loop. He stepped aside to let the other ponies in.

The purple pegasus tried slipping the shirt on while walking, and smashed his face against the wall with a "thump" followed by his muffled neigh.

Banana... you will pay for closing that door in my face!

He finished pushing his forelegs and wings out through their respective sleeves. Turning around, he circled the house and found the broken bathroom window. He went inside, reached the corridor, rushed to the entrance hall...

"Oh, I didn’t see you come in... when DID you?"

With that, Banana closed the door and trotted to the kitchen to make breakfast.

[Killian Jones 2,653]

I am reviving this for the sake of the fact that it was funny. Oh that purple pegasus pone, why have you got to be so silly?

 

Also the Christmas thing.