The Mare Comes Around

[PlunderSteed 1,252]

The other day I was staring out the window at the North Atlantic, and a silly thought came to me...

 

Wouldn't it be fun to do a ponified parody of Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around", except it would be "The Mare Comes Around" and it would be about Tyrant Celestia.  Making the guitar, piano and vocal recordings would be easy.  The hard part would be reconstructing the lyrics.

 

Anyways, I could spend weeks going over and ponifying every line of the song, but I think it would be a lot more witty/hilarious if a bunch of us worked together on it.  The idea is to end up with a series of lyrics and images (as a video) that tell a ridiculous tale of Celestia's rule.  Here are the original lyrics:

 

EDIT: and a video, for those who are not familiar with the song (graphic content)

 

 

"And I heard as it were the noise of thunder 

One of the four beasts saying come and see and I saw
And behold a white horse" 
(Revelation 6:1-2)

There's a man going around taking names 
And he decides who to free and who to blame 
Everybody won't be treated quite the same 
There will be a golden ladder reaching down
When the man comes around

The hairs on your arm will stand up 
At the terror in each sip and each sup 
Will you partake of that last offered cup
Or disappear into the potter's ground
When the man comes around?

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers 
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to a big kettledrum
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn trees
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn trees
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks
Until Armageddon, no shalam, no shalom

Then the father hen will call his chickens home
The wise man will bow down before the thorn 
And at his feet they will cast the golden crowns
When the man comes around

Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
Listen to the words long written down
When the man comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers 
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to a big kettledrum
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn trees
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn trees
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks
In measured hundred weight and penny pound
When the man comes around

"And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death
And Hell followed with him." 
(Revelations 6:7-8)

 

 

And here's about 5 minutes worth of parody that I have so far, with proposed screenshots/storyboard notes in parentheses...

 

 

(melodramatic fade-in of Celestia being grandiose)

""And I heard as it were the noise of thunder 

One of the six Elements saying 'come and see.'

And I saw and behold a white horse."

There's a mare going around taking names 
And she decides who to squee and who to shame 
Everybody won't be banished quite the same (shots of Twilight in a dungeon in the place where she is banished)
There will be a golden saddle reaching down
When the mare comes around (fan art of mean-looking tyrant Celestia)

The hairs on your mane will stand up (Ponyville residents being panicked, as they often do)
At the trolling in each sip and each sup (Celestia messing with the Cakes in "Bird in the Hoof")
Will you partake of that last offered cupcake? (obligatory Cupcakes fanfic imagery)
Or disappear into the potter's ground (Pinkie "swimming" through the ground)
When the mare comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers 
One hundred million Pinkies singing (Pinkie playing 10 instruments at once)
Multitudes are marching to a big kettledrum
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying (the Cake babies, then the funeral from Hearts & Hooves Day)
It's Celestia and Luna's kingdom come (the two of them being badass from the beginning of S3E01)

And the whirlwind is in the apple trees
The parasprites are all licking their chops (parasprites eating everything)
The whirlwind is in the apple trees
It's hard for thee to hate against the plot (closeup of Celestia's plot)
Until Armageddon, no chimy cherry, no cherry changa

Then the mother hen will call her chickens home (Scootaloo by the hen house)
The wise mare will bow down before the throne (dozens of ponies bowing to Celestia on her throne)
And at her feet they will cast their golden crowns
When the mare comes around

Whoever is derped, let her be derpy still (Derpy wrecking town hall)
Whoever is awesome, let her be awesome still (Dashy doing the "deal with it" pose)
Whoever is jelly, let him be jelly still (the pony who loves tubs of jelly)
Listen to the words long written down (Rarity freaking out while reading the school paper)
When the mare comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers 
One hundred million Pinkies singing (too many Pinkies singing and being silly)
Multitudes are marching to a big kettledrum (Pinkie leading the parasprites away)
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Celestia and Luna's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the yay trees (Fluttershy's tree disguise)
The fillies are all penning their fics
The whirlwind is in the yay trees
It's hard for thee to clop against the Six (famous picture of Twilight saying "NO" and smashing the screen)
In measured background clones and changelings found
When the mare comes around

"And I heard a voice in the midst of the six Elements
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And her name that sat on her was Love
And Tolerance followed with her." 

 

 

Feel free to kick around anything from lyric snippets to images to videos.  Once we've collected and refined an adequately goofy assortment of lyrics and imagery, I'll be able to finish the project for everyone's amusement.

Edited February 19, 2013 by NLR Information Minister