Batbrony

[Fan Fic] Batmare Begins - Chapter 2: Why Am I Here?

Recommended Posts

Hello ya'll!!!  Well, after a long, long, LONG writing period, the second chapter of "Batmare Begins" is finally completed, edited, and up on FIM Fiction.

 

Special thanks to my great friend DashForever for taking the time to help me edit the story throughout the writing process and after the first draft was completed.

 

Also, special shout-out to Adelind, who is currently working on a number of sketches for both the cover art and individual chapters of my fic.  I really appreciate the favor and can't wait to see what she comes up with!  If you haven't checked out her work yet, everypony, do so, do so right now!  Adelind is an amazing artist, hands down one of the best I've ever seen on the forums, or in the fandom in general.  Here's a link to one of her pieces: http://mlpforums.com/topic/54284-i-drew-luna/

 

Well, that's all I got to say, so without further ado, here's "Batmare Begins - Chapter 2: Why Am I Here?".  Just click on the link below and you'll get there.  Enjoy everypony!!!  Let me know what you think of the latest chapter in the comments below.biggrin.png

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/79481/batmare-begins

  • Brohoof 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is the Order of Extrodinary Ponies a reference to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by chance? I am looking forward to seeing how Derpy's training goes, she is probably going to get quite a few cuts and bruises.

  • Brohoof 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Finally got to read it all...

and wow, I am impressed. Very well made, the relation to Cristopher Nolans work is obvious, still just as slight as everyone can see how much work you put into it, great compliment.

Can´t wait to read more of it, really fine work xD.

Only thing totally knocking me off was Dämon Hengst (german name, demon stallion) speaking german xD. Nice idea, very hard to translate though, so there are a few tiny mistakes, but nothing important.

Keep it up, man, really looking forward to the next chapter.

  • Brohoof 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is the Order of Extrodinary Ponies a reference to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by chance? I am looking forward to seeing how Derpy's training goes, she is probably going to get quite a few cuts and bruises.

 

Actually no, it's not, but I was wondering if anypony would make that connection, so I'm not surprised that you'd think that.  It's supposed to be based off of the League of Shadows/League of Assassins run by Ra's al Ghul, but I'll explain later why the word "Extraordinary" is in the title.  Trust me, it'll all make sense.

 

And oh yes, her training should be quite intense indeed, but there'll also be different reasons for it than Bruce Wayne.  Derpy doesn't know what she's aiming to become right now, she just wants to find a purpose, and she also doesn't know that the Order may already have one in mind for her, so there's gonna have to be a good "reason" that they're giving her some intense physical training that doesn't point explicitly to combat preparation.  Again, it'll all make sense.

 

Finally got to read it all...

and wow, I am impressed. Very well made, the relation to Cristopher Nolans work is obvious, still just as slight as everyone can see how much work you put into it, great compliment.

Can´t wait to read more of it, really fine work xD.

Only thing totally knocking me off was Dämon Hengst (german name, demon stallion) speaking german xD. Nice idea, very hard to translate though, so there are a few tiny mistakes, but nothing important.

Keep it up, man, really looking forward to the next chapter.

 

Thank you, glad you liked it!!!  Yeah, if you saw at the bottom in the author's notes I included the translation there straight from Google Translate for those who didn't want to translate it themselves.  Was hesitant about it for awhile, but DashForever convinced me that it'd be a cool thing to include.  Sorry that it'll be awhile before the next chapter comes out. sad.png

  • Brohoof 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually no, it's not, but I was wondering if anypony would make that connection, so I'm not surprised that you'd think that.  It's supposed to be based off of the League of Shadows/League of Assassins run by Ra's al Ghul, but I'll explain later why the word "Extraordinary" is in the title.  Trust me, it'll all make sense.

I figured that much as this is supposed to based off of Batman Begins from what I can tell, but that name without question did make me think about that but you said it would all make sense later and since I am enjoying this so far it should be interesting to find out the meaning behind that name.

 

 

And oh yes, her training should be quite intense indeed, but there'll also be different reasons for it than Bruce Wayne.

I was more referring to her clumsiness, but the intensity of it of course will probably also give her the occasional injury.

  • Brohoof 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was more referring to her clumsiness, but the intensity of it of course will probably also give her the occasional injury.

 

Actually that's going to be an early focus of her training; helping her gain both physical and mental focus, embrace her somewhat off-balance nature and thereby gain total control of her body.  A lot of delving into her past, helping her clear her mind, that sort of thing.

  • Brohoof 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually that's going to be an early focus of her training; helping her gain both physical and mental focus, embrace her somewhat off-balance nature and thereby gain total control of her body.  A lot of delving into her past, helping her clear her mind, that sort of thing.

So it is going to turn her greatest weakness into her greatest strength, I like that it has a lot of potential. I am picturing some of the fight scenes that will come up later I am snickering at how Derpy is going to make a fool out of quite a few unsuspecting minions.

  • Brohoof 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So it is going to turn her greatest weakness into her greatest strength, I like that it has a lot of potential. I am picturing some of the fight scenes that will come up later I am snickering at how Derpy is going to make a fool out of quite a few unsuspecting minions.

 

Hey, you got it, that's exactly what I'm going for!  The whole point of the Order, not to spoil too much, is to take in ponies who have struggled finding a niche, a special place to fit in, into Equestrian society, either because of trouble with cutie marks, maybe not fitting into their particular species of pony even, etc.  It's just that Damon's Hengst has started taking them in a "different" direction, as you'll see, than they've had for centuries before, though that won't be clear for awhile.  So yes, in Derpy's case, like for many of their candidates, they're going to try to turn her biggest "weakness" into her biggest strength, because they recognize that it's a part of who she is, and so why bother trying to change it?

  • Brohoof 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.