OC,FanFic and other such Reviews...

[King 5,625]

G'Day There!

 

I guess you're wondering what the hell Dawn Rider is making this for...

 

Well... Id like to review your creations in my spare time. Anything you have for me, from short stories,full blown Fan Fics or even a quick review on your OC, I want to do it all.

 

My reviews will be posted one at a time, quoting the person who asked for the review and they wont be done every single day, I'll do them when I get around to it in spare time

 

My reviews wont be really short either, Id like to go in depth whenever possible and feel free to quote me when your Fan Fic becomes famous ;D

 

So go on...give me something of yours to review

 

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Review List

Krein's Oc ~ Completed

Edited April 29, 2013 by Dawn♥Rider

[THE WILD HUNT 213]

I suppose I wouldn't mind seeing a review of my characters. I've been looking for one of these actually.

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/kreinbahthur-r2547

 

Well, there you go. I have about one other character I'm developing right now, so I'll post him later.

Oh yeah, there is one more thing I'd like to add to the character, but review it as it is either way .

[King 5,625]

I suppose I wouldn't mind seeing a review of my characters. I've been looking for one of these actually.

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/kreinbahthur-r2547

 

Well, there you go. I have about one other character I'm developing right now, so I'll post him later.

Oh yeah, there is one more thing I'd like to add to the character, but review it as it is either way .

 

Ok Lets start with Design.

He reminds me of a much darker ponified Flash, which is good in my opinion. Black and Yellow ALWAYS goes together from my perspective and as such I approve of those colours being used in your OC.

 

Alicorns rarely get my approval though ,so be careful. Luckily it seems yours has a nice look to him, so in the aphysical appearence, he gets my approval.

 

Now for backstory.

 

Now the backstory is what usually throws me off on Alicorns, always being waaay too OP, Luckily you balance yours with weaknesses that aren't too hard to find. The mysterious backstory of your OC fits in well with the design and as such receives my praise there, as some OC's stories don't even slightly match their design, Im a stickler for matching story/designs.

 

It would be nice if at some point you explain more about his home land to add depth into the character which is always critical when creating an Alicorn who are usually quite powerful, not to mention its interesting to read up on fan made locations like my fabled Coltsville

 

I can see you brought some inspiration from Skyrim which is "ok" in theory, just be very careful when using idea's like that, only implement them when it works well with the character.

 

And one of his big drawbacks being his Pride, which can always be a great drawback to have in a character with power, pride can lead to a characters destruction and having such a weakness actually makes an OC more believable.

 

Overall I like your OC, very interesting concept and good execution. At some point I think you should add a bigger text wall to his backstory explaining some of his past a little more and some of his defining moments which would stand out well in any Character sheet. Try not to give him any more over the top powers and he should balance out quite well.

 

So overall, Great OC m y friend

[TheBronyHeart 2,640]

All? Does this Include art? Just curious.

 

And will you review anything non pony related or is this strictly mlp fan material you review?

[King 5,625]

All? Does this Include art? Just curious.

 

And will you review anything non pony related or is this strictly mlp fan material you review?

I'll review Anything, including Art and non pony items like games and movies and so on.

just ask and I'll get one it when I have the time.

[Stellafera 3,835]

These two OCs sort of go together (as friends, not romantically), so I decided that it'd be better to do both at once. Not much of an artist, so I used the pony creator to create a rough idea of what I visualized them as. I apologize for any bad writing:

 

Moraine and Silent Night

 

Thank you very much for your time. 

Edited May 2, 2013 by Stellafera