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chicken parties never run out of cocktail

Aaarg! The pain of that!

And did you hear about the cat who said he didnt rob the bank? Turns out he was just lion

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Excessive intelligence can be fought with brainkillers. (didn't even know it existed, it's just a pun on "painkiller" fyi)

 

You wanna die?

Posted Image

 

Electricians listen to the radi-ohm.

Zen masters listen to the radi-omm.

Ghost hunters listen to the radi-orb.

Pioneers listen to the ready-o.

Communists listen to the red-io.

Astronomers listen to the rad-Io.

Santa Claus listens to the radi-HOHOHO.

Disgusted people listen to the rad-ew-o.

Surprised people listen to the radi-oh.

Cute people listen to the radi-aww.

Distracted people listen to the radi-OOH SHINY.

  • Brohoof 2

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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Also, did you hear about the partially aroused willow? It was in a vegetative state.

http-~~-//youtu.be/rlzaNtzLrF8

 

Get it? 'Cause vegetative can mean- *gunshot*

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Oh boy, I came across this one earlier today, its HORRIBLE! What's Luna's favorite day of the week? MOONday! What's Celestia's favorite day of the week? SUNday!

 

Now THAT's terrible!

  • Brohoof 3

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I just played Okami while hungry. The final boss was... yummy.

Puns don't kill people, pills kill people!

After drinking all those beerds, my sideburns.

Have you seen the new Star Trek trailer? It's attached right behind that 4x4.

In order to become transparent, you must have a sex change after having a child. (Alternately, you could just cross your mom and dad.)

When we stopped believing in Santa, Nicholas Raged.

Simba, quit lion around and Mufasa!

In Hogwarts, the lowest-definition image was displayed by De-low-res Umbridge.

Resistance is futile because I have the potential to shock you.

Religion did not save dinosaurs from velocirapture.

The chick looked hammered, but I was tired to be her tool, so she got nailed that night anyway.

My favorite musical program was shut down for excessive sax and violins.

The ophtalmologist's office is a site for sore eyes.

I wanted to become a runner, but my legs wouldn't QWOPerate.

I'm a little horse because I caught a colt. The doctor said the mane thing for me was to get some rest, that I'd be back in the saddle in a week.

 

Close-combat fighters use fire arms.

Assistants and other helpers use friendly fire.

Religious people use cross fire.

 

"these puns make me sick"

 

Says the guy at hospital

Who gets SICK of VIRAL videos? ~ Reimagine :The Game:

 

And a final word to all Star Wars fans: may the mass x acceleration be with you.

Edited by Feather Spiral

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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- Could Larry be an actor?

No, but Holly would.

- What did the canine actor's Native American trainer say?

Howl, Iwud!

- How do you call timber infested with termites?

Holey wood.

- How does a lumberjack curse?

Holy wood!

- I'll try to talk Liu Do into giving me the treasure map.

How, Lee Wud?

 

If your Greek soldiers just go in circles, all your campaigns will turn to cycle ops.

Edited by Feather Spiral

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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Oh look, today is 4/20 (or 20/4 for the Euros)

 

It's a day that I hold in very high regard

I highly anticipate 4/20 every year

4/20 is the high point of my April

 

4/20 is a day for smoking pot, is what I'm getting at.

(I don't indulge but I also don't judge those who do) since The Doctor has tried it once and it was pretty trippy, like decently trippy


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MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor
~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~
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Whence comes this tradition, which has been denied it's place in the lofty tiers of the holiday pantheon with Christmas and Easter? Oh, and Shrove Tuesday, because, you know, pancakes...

Edited by CandidKid

Happy minion of The Fabulous One!

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Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/

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This thread made me laugh so much!~ :lol:

 

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

 

"A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'."

 

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."

 

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

 

I don't know if these count, but they made me giggle. >.<

 

I think the worst pun is "punny". xD

  • Brohoof 3
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