Equestria Girls Alternate Ending

[Caesar2013 22]

This fanfic is based off of Harlan Ellison's "I have no mouth and I must scream". As well as Hasbro's Movie "Equestria Girls". Please watch Equestria Girls first in case you don't want to read potential spoilers.

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Spoiler Alerts for those who have not seen it, basically Sunset Shimmer, the unicorn that previously was the Student of Princess Celestia before Twilight. She got angry with Celestia and fled into the human world. After the events of Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer seems to have been rehabilitated by the influence of the Elements of Harmony. But what if Sunset Shimmer returned to Equestria alongside Twilight Sparkle and Spike. A bigger question is what would have happened if Princess Celestia never forgave Sunset for the tension between them. And we all know that Princess Celestia isn't good about dealing with those she hates. After all she did banish her sister to the moon.

 

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My name is Sunset Shimmer. I was a former student of Princess Celestia long before Twilight Sparkle. I had become impatient with my studies and rebelled against the Princess and fled into the human world. I thought time would have made a difference in our relationship, that she had finally relented over my actions. If I had thought that Princess Celestia had been angry at me, I was wrong. So dead wrong. She was furious. It didn't even come close to the hate she now unleashed upon me. She made certain I would suffer eternally and could not do myself in or flee back to the Human world. But she left my mind intact.

 

 

It has been hundreds of years possibly since I've returned to Equestria. Princess Celestia has resorted to altering my mind, accelerating and decelerating time as she saw fit. Making seconds seem like months and months seem like hundreds of years. I don't know. Princess Celestia had altered me worst than I could have ever imagined, but she still wishes to hold on to me. A sort of example to all who would oppose her. She doesn't want me to smash my skull, nor hold my breathe until I faint. Or somehow cut my own throat with a piece of metal. However, Celestia had been kind enough to grant me a mirror so I may describe myself to you: I have been altered into a great soft jellylike thing. My body is smoothly rounded, with pulsing white holes filled by fog where my eyes used to be. Rubbery appendages that were at one point my legs now bulks down into rubbery appendages of soft slippery matter. Blotches of diseased, evil grey come and go on my surface as though light is beamed from within. I shamble about, a thing that could never be recognized as a pony.

 

Princess Celestia has taken my mouth, AND I MUST SCREAM!

Edited June 30, 2013 by Caesar2013

[DITR 180]

Uhhhhhhhhhh....... A little harsh don't you think? When it happened in I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, it was cathartic because even though Ted couldn't care less about the other people he was with, he sacrificed himself to put them out of their misery, showing that even after 109 years of torture he still had some compassion left in him. The alternate ending you made here made no sense because:

 

1. That would never happen in Equestria.

 

2. Celestia banished Luna to the moon because she still loved her sister, not out of spite. She didn't want to torture her

 

3. Despite how much I despise Sunset Shimmer, she doesn't deserve something like this. 

 

4. Celestia is kind and forgiving, she'd never do something like this

 

5. Twilight, Luna, Cadance, or Discord would've intervened.

Edited June 30, 2013 by DITR

[Caesar2013 22]

Uhhhhhhhhhh....... A little harsh don't you think? When it happened in I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, it was cathartic because even though Ted couldn't care less about the other people he was with, he sacrificed himself to put them out of their misery, showing that even after 109 years of torture he still had some compassion left in him. The alternate ending you made here made no sense because:

 

1. That would never happen in Equestria.

 

2. Celestia banished Luna to the moon because she still loved her sister, not out of spite. She didn't want to torture her

 

3. Despite how much I despise Sunset Shimmer, she doesn't deserve something like this. 

 

4. Celestia is kind and forgiving, she'd never do something like this

 

5. Twilight, Luna, Cadance, or Discord would've intervened.

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it when the reader takes the time to comment on the fanfics I write and post on various websites. Since you came up with some decent points I've decided to comment on them and explain my reasoning for doing so to the best of my ability.

 

1. I'm aware that it would never happen. This fanfic was supposed to be a fun what-if. Sure it won't happen, but I do like to ponder on alternatives to the canon.

2. That part was a joke against Celestia's expense.

3. Of course Sunset Shimmer deserved it. How dare she use the power of the elements to destroy Twilight?

4. As I've said, it's a fun what-if.

5. Not in this universe

[joehighlord 5]

Jolly bouncy up and down type feeling that i get from watching the movie successfully killed... yay I apparently need 20 more letters to post this.... that'll do it.

[DITR 180]

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it when the reader takes the time to comment on the fanfics I write and post on various websites. Since you came up with some decent points I've decided to comment on them and explain my reasoning for doing so to the best of my ability.

 

1. I'm aware that it would never happen. This fanfic was supposed to be a fun what-if. Sure it won't happen, but I do like to ponder on alternatives to the canon.

2. That part was a joke against Celestia's expense.

3. Of course Sunset Shimmer deserved it. How dare she use the power of the elements to destroy Twilight?

4. As I've said, it's a fun what-if.

5. Not in this universe

 

You're still missing the point. Any person in Ted's shoes would've taken their own lives to escape from AM's torture, but instead,he seizes the one opportunity  he has to escape from his hellish life to free the people he was with, showing that even after 109 years of torture he still has genuine human emotions. What you did here was take a tragic ending out of a horrifying story and applied it to a bland, under developed, movie in an attempt to make it more profound, doing the exact opposite in the process. Lastly, a dark fic only works if it is believable. As said on TvTropes "When badly done (especially when the original work was a comedy), it will do nothing but squickreaders, who will quickly abandon it. Or make people laugh. Well done, though, it can provide an intense and unsettling view of something supposedly familiar." Your story was the former of the two.

[Tech Rainbow 39]

Princess Celestia turned evil? How could she do something like that?  Your fanfic pretty much doesn't make sense. How could Sunset Shimmer eat if Princess Celestia took away her mouth?