Social anxiety/phobia

[James 302]

Anyone else got this issue? It'd be nice to know I'm not the only one here who's genuinely afraid of social interaction.

 

I don't think I could even begin to explain how much of a serious problem it is to someone who doesn't experience it in their daily lives. I can't talk to people in much more than single words, especially strangers, even talking to my family members is a struggle. I can't do anything if someone is watching me, and I always feel like people are staring at me, so much so that I'm afraid to go outside most of the time. I haven't had any friends for years and I certainly have no idea how to make friends.

 

I'll be here forever if I describe everything, I just want to know if anyone can relate.

 

I'm glad talking to people on the internet is so easy.

[Twi Rubix 726]

I'm not... Afraid of social interaction. Infact, I like to meet new people, but the issue is I suck with communication, and I don't speak so well to others. Mostly, I jumble my words, pausing every 2 seconds, and trying to get out what I'm trying to say. Even on the internet, it's a problem sometimes because I don't quite know what to type.

 

I do feel you though, sometimes I don't enjoy speaking to anyone, and it's not a pleasant feeling.

Edited July 1, 2013 by Twi Rubix

[~StatesTheOblivious~ 1,795]

I am actually very sociophobic myself. The thing is I've been it for so long that now I can't even imagine how it could work in any other way...

 

I can talk to strangers, but I'm very mistrustful and fear that they might want to have more contact. That's why I nearly always reject any invitations and such. I never met a single person who appeared to be able to understand my struggle. That makes it even more difficult.

I was able to handle it in school after a few years and had a few people who were my friends but then we graduated and went different paths... I'm not really alone, I have my family and some people from university that I talk to, but real, open contact is just impossible for me.

 

But the worst are the physical symptoms. Stress reactions at some points in - especially more personal - conversations are very embarassing and confuse others so I feel even more uncomfortable and all I wanna do then is to get out. I can't control it. Sometimes they come, sometimes not...

Edited July 1, 2013 by StatesTheOblivious

[Smarts 1,622]

Don't worry, friend. I'm the same way. I have had Social Phobia since I was in kindergarten. I have never said a word to anyone in years but my own family, even then it is just a few words and that's it. I'm extremely nervous and scared when around other people and feel as though they are watching me, just waiting for me to screw up. I avoid every conversation that I can and I also rarely ever leave my own home unless I really REALLY have to. I just can't stand being around people. So yeah, I can relate with you. Remember, if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

I actually feel a bit like that myself. I'm really only comfortable talking with my friends or posting stuff on MLP Forums. For whatever reason it is sooo much easier to talk to people online. I never initiate conversation with anyone I don't know because I never know what to say to anyone. My biggest problem is that I am afraid to talk to girls and I have no idea how I'm ever gonna get a girlfriend because of it :/

[James 302]

I bothers me sometimes that no-one seems to understand the difficulties I have, they just think I'm being rude when I can't talk to them or if I'm distant. It's not a very well known or understood problem, still too many people dismiss it as simple shyness, the kind of thing I should have grown out of a long time ago, only that never happened.

 

Of course the fact that I have it means I can't just explain social anxiety to them.

[HungryTroll 137]

Well, I had problem like that but on different level, yours much serious, but I'll say you two things that helped me, hope they'll help you as well:

1) Thats not bad thing, if you feel ok with yourself only that not a bad thing, you are who you are, there no reason to fight against youself, be proud of who you are.

2) Despite of 1 point - humans are social animals, even if you fine with being alone you should know how comunicate with people, just try a little harder, I'm not talking about making friends at the street right now, you should begin with getting used to at least asking for directions or time - something like that. I'm myself do not feel comfortable bothering other people on the streets, but remember - all people are different, some may like you some may not do not let second one be a wall on you way to first ones.

Ok one more time - try to contact people more, and MOST important BE PROUD of yourself, you normal, thats not like you have some problems YOU JUST LIKE THAT, and if there people who don't like that - that their problem not yours.

 

 

 

they just think I'm being rude when I can't talk to them or if I'm distant.

remember - all people are different

Some may think that way and some not.

Edited July 1, 2013 by HungryTroll

[Jadefire 2,797]

I have something similar, though it's probably not a social phobia per se. I have a very difficult time talking to other people, so I shy away from social interaction with others as much as possible because I'm scared of having to deal with the inevitible social problems which I usually have no idea how to deal with. Basically, I have no idea how to interact with people in real time, which causes all sorts of problems when people try to interact with me and my brain goes into overdrive. This, in turn, makes it worse when a simple conversation turns into a crisis for me, and the other person thinking they're talking to someone who has moderate to severe mental retardation.

 

You could think of it as general social awkwardness taken to such an extreme that it has become a disability.

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

Yes, yes I do. I have pretty bad social anxiety. I think I might be almost avoidant, too.

 

At the same time, I hate being alone, even though I am most comfortable that way. I wish I was naturally social, but I'm not, and it's something I have to force. When I'm around people, I want to be alone. When I'm alone, I want to be with people. I don't know if that's split personality or not, but yeah, that's kinda what I'm like. I'm both an extreme introvert and a wannabe extrovert.

 

I am terrible at initiating conversation, even on the Internet sometimes. I usually just kinda let the other person do most of the talking. Which usually means conversations I'm in tend to die off pretty fast because I don't know what to say.

 

That's all when I'm sober. Apparently when I'm drunk I'm the most sociable person imaginable.

[James 302]

and MOST important BE PROUD of yourself

 

Well, that's a very, very difficult thing for me to do. Everyone seems to react negatively to me, it's all too common for people to make fun of me, and that's just based on my appearance, I even get people yelling at me on the streets. It's hard for me not to have a very negative opinion of myself too.

 

But, yeah, I am comfortable spending most of my time alone, I just wish it was easier to make friends for when I don't want to be.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

At the same time, I hate being alone, even though I am most comfortable that way. I wish I was naturally social, but I'm not, and it's something I have to force. When I'm around people, I want to be alone. When I'm alone, I want to be with people. I don't know if that's split personality or not, but yeah, that's kinda what I'm like. I'm both an extreme introvert and a wannabe extrovert.

 

I am terrible at initiating conversation, even on the Internet sometimes. I usually just kinda let the other person do most of the talking. Which usually means conversations I'm in tend to die off pretty fast because I don't know what to say.

 

 

Man you pretty much described me right there. I'm so bad at initiating conversation, so I basically just wait for other people to talk to me first. But then I get really nervous when someone I don't know starts talking to me. I don't know what da buck is wrong with me.

[James 302]

I am terrible at initiating conversation, even on the Internet sometimes. I usually just kinda let the other person do most of the talking. Which usually means conversations I'm in tend to die off pretty fast because I don't know what to say.

 

I couldn't hold a conversation if my life depended on it, it feels like trying to play piano when you've never had a single lesson. My biggest problem is that I over-analyze everything and I think about the conversation for hours after it ended. I think about every little stupid thing I did or said and how the person I was talking to thought I was a complete idiot.

 

I wish I could relax around other people.

Edited July 1, 2013 by James

[swordsman 192]

if you have a job, you will learn how to comunicate with people and work with others. I work a publix supermarket and you have to say hi or talk to anyone withen 10 seconds or 10 feet of you. Yeah i have social problems and i don't know to make frineds or have girl friend(which i REALLY want) but i love to talk and if i hear someone talking about something i like i join in.

 

but I see myself as warrior so most time i don't care what people think of me.

[Vexx3 1,540]

I've struggled with bad social anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I've been through everything that you've mentioned.  I once had a panic attack before I had to do a presentation in front of the class. 

 

It's gotten better since I've been out of high school, but it still affects me.

[Guest]

I had something like that, in a pretty extreme form. But then i kinda went into a FCK THIS SHIP mode and started working out, joining the local mountaineering rescue squad and getting myself a new haircut ( in this order). This REALLY boosted my trust into myself and I am not as socially awkward as before (I also had my first girlfriend after doing that). I helped a good friend of mine overcome most of his social anxiety simply by talking to him on skype and giving him some of the advice, that i learned while changing from extreme to moderate social anxiety. If anyone has huge problems with his/her social anxiety, please add me on skype, so we can talk/game sometime (just having fun with people over skype helps a lot) Skype: silentdgamer just put "yay" into the friend request

Edited July 1, 2013 by Guest

[Gigapony 650]

I can relate to this. Oh God, I can relate to this.

 

I have been this way since early childhood. I shut down completely when around strangers. Eventually I can get to a point where I can sorta fake it, but I simply cannot talk to people. Even online, I have to wait for someone else to initiate conversation with me. I could be around really cool people, even fellow bronies, and I could be DYING to meet/be friends with them, but for me "breaking the ice" might as well be "breaking diamond". I just can't do it. I feel like I'm stepping out of bounds or doing something terribly wrong and that nobody would ever want to talk to me anyway so I just clam up and disappear into the background.

 

And that's the thing, I'm not even a loner. I love being around friends, and I love the idea of making new friends, but I just can't, I don't know how.

 

Couple this with the fact that I have less than zero self-esteem, I hate myself more than anything in the world, and that I have no presence to speak of, and it's a wonder I have friends at all. I've generally come to accept that this is the way it's going to be for me for the rest of my life, but it's still hard sometimes.

Edited July 1, 2013 by Gigapony

[James 302]

if you have a job, you will learn how to comunicate with people and work with others. I work a publix supermarket and you have to say hi or talk to anyone withen 10 seconds or 10 feet of you. Yeah i have social problems and i don't know to make frineds or have girl friend(which i REALLY want) but i love to talk and if i hear someone talking about something i like i join in.

 

but I see myself as warrior so most time i don't care what people think of me.

 

I don't think I could do a job like that, not without screwing up really badly and getting fired on the first day. I don't have a job, but if anything I'd want a job where they'd just stick me in a corner somewhere and give me a task.

 

I guess that wouldn't help me though.

[HungryTroll 137]

 

 

Well, that's a very, very difficult thing for me to do. Everyone seems to react negatively to me, it's all too common for people to make fun of me, and that's just based on my appearance, I even get people yelling at me on the streets. It's hard for me not to have a very negative opinion of myself too.

Yeah, I can understand, but, as I've said - problem with them in them in first place not in you. You souldn't have negative opinion of youself based on opinion of people you barely know. Be proud of what you acomplished\trying to acomplish not something you was born with or something people who doesn't know really anything about you belive you are.

I don't think I could do a job like that, not without screwing up really badly and getting fired on the first day. I don't have a job, but if anything I'd want a job where they'd just stick me in a corner somewhere and give me a task.

 

I guess that wouldn't help me though.

You really underestimating yourself, there no such people in the world who are bad in anything, well may be it's not good for you to work in close conection with people right now, but why not to try some freelance via internet?

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

My job right now doesn't really help my social anxiety. I have an isolated desk job. If anything it makes my social anxiety worse.

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

I do have some degree of social anxiety, but not quite at such a level as you describe.I have real trouble talking to new people in real life. The main reason being that I have a chronic fear of either screwing up (forgetting someone's name, embarrassing myself) or accidentally offending or otherwise hurting someone. One could argue that we all have this, but in my case it actually seriously impedes my social ability.

 

I also have a lot of trouble remembering names. Even if someone tells me their name, I am almost never absolutely sure of what their name is unless I maintain regular contact with them.

[HungryTroll 137]

I've got one more idea, you from Ireland yeah? You should visit BUCK, sertanly, why not? What could possibly go wrong? There would be only bronies, I think it's best people to train in communication with.

Edited July 1, 2013 by HungryTroll

[James 302]

My job right now doesn't really help my social anxiety. I have an isolated desk job. If anything it makes my social anxiety worse.

 

I've talked to people about this on another forum and the main thing they always stress is challenging your 'comfort zone.' Probably would be helpful, but it's easier said than done.

 

 

I also have a lot of trouble remembering names. Even if someone tells me their name, I am almost never absolutely sure of what their name is unless I maintain regular contact with them.

 

I'm pretty bad at remembering names too, but I think I'm pretty good at remembering faces, I remember most of the people I see.

[Viking 61]

I have the exact same issue, so I'm afraid I can't be of very much use.

 

You could try making friends via games like TF2 or Warframe, something fairly social that you can talk to people on. Get them on skype to try to practice talking to people, it won't help much but its has helped me to be social to atleast a small degree.

[Vexx3 1,540]

I don't think I could do a job like that, not without screwing up really badly and getting fired on the first day. I don't have a job, but if anything I'd want a job where they'd just stick me in a corner somewhere and give me a task.

 

I guess that wouldn't help me though.

 

Understandable, but he is right.  Getting a job where you have to interact with people on a daily basis does help a lot.  When I said it got better after high school, a large part of that was because I got a job at a full service gas station.  I doubt it would have gotten that much better if it weren't for that job.

[Betez 1,734]

I used to have this issue. I feel like it's gotten better over the years. I'll usually be really awkward and boring around people I don't know, and this is when social anxiety still comes into play. But once I get to know people, I won't be anxious around them.