LittleRawr's OC Reviews :3

[LittleRawr 679]

Hello! My name is LittleRawr, but you can call me Lynn. Or whatever, I don't really mind.

 

I'm pretty bored and so I decided to do some OC reviews. 

 

I will judge your character on several points, all out of ten. Their special talent, cutie mark story, personality, backstory and how they look like. Here's an example review

 

 

 

Cutie mark backstory: -----

 

(7/10)

 

Special talent: ---

 

(8/10) 

 

Personality: ----

 

(8/10)

 

Backstory: ----

 

(6/10)

 

Looks: ---

 

(6/10)

 

Overall score: (7/10)

 

 

 

I will be as critical as possible, to help you improve your OC as much as I can. So get posting with them links! :3

 

[Colt 555]

Hey there Lynn thanks for taking your time and doing this i have to say I have grown to like this kind of posts and each one of them have give me fair points to fix my OC's. Hope you can make an opinion of my OC's

 

OC's -

 

Colt Strahl |

 

 

Earth Miracle |

 

 

 

 

Here you have access to all their artwork

[LittleRawr 679]

@,

 

Dang, this OC is dark. Welp, I'll still try.

 

Cutie mark backstory: You should move the cutie mark backstory to the cutie mark section, to make it a little easier to find. 

How did she discover that she was good at time magic? How old was she when she got her cutie mark?  Y'know, it would make more sense if she got her cutie mark when she first discovered that she could manipulate time. Although I see how that could be a problem. I didn't understand one part, did she get her cutie mark before or after she had time jumped? 

(8/10)

 

Special talent: That's pretty cool, actually. Reminds me of Doctor Who, it sounds as if she could be a timelady. 

(9/10) 

 

Personality: Does she immediately kill anypony she sees, or she she just go on a murdering spree randomly?  

(8/10)

 

Backstory: Where are her parents, and how were they like? How did she become an alicorn? Why was she bullied? Alicorns are supposed to be royalty and stuff, so that seems a bit strange. Was she always living in the cave? I think that you should elaborate more on her childhood, and when did the music come and stuff. She seems a bit Mary Su, you should mention some weaknesses and stuff. This character wouldn't really fit in with the canon Equestria, since I doubt that Equestria is that dark. It would make more sense if ponies stayed away from her 'cause they were afraid of her alicorn status, and potentially what she could do to them if they acted bad to her. How and why did her madness grow? You should elaborate a bit more on that. Does she need to be an alicorn? You haven't mentioned her wings at all, she could just be a very powerful unicorn and where she lived at the time was full of earth ponies n' stuff, so that's why they were afraid. 

(7/10)

 

Looks: Green isn't usually a good color on a pony, but combined with everything else it does make her look quite menacing. 

 

(9/10)

 

Overall score: (8/10)

[Rascal~ 657]

I haven't finished writting up her whole thing but I will defintely take in soem of your pointers, espiecally the cutie mark story section bit and I do need to elaborate but some of what you said will be/ has been covered by her tumblr account.

[. eris . 1,661]

I've never had my OC rated before, and I'm a bit nervous...  

 

Anyway, here he is! This is actually my oldest RP character, I'm eager to hear what you think. XD  http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/cliff-chaser-r2970

Edited July 30, 2013 by Miss Earl Grey

[RAGESTAR 479]

This looks fun, I'll give it a try, my OC link is in my sig, but as a warning, please don't chastise my OC based on his brutal cutie mark story, I made it that way on purpose, he IS a pirate after all, I just wanted him to have that dark hero vibe with his character, so please don't judge him harshly based on his cm story, ok?

[LittleRawr 679]

@@Colt,

 

Colt

 

Personality: Does he play music, or just listen to it? I really like the personality

 

(10/10)

 

Backstory: Wow. That's a nice backstory you have there. But, what exactly can he do with the magic? And the fighting? Maybe you could elaborate on what lessons he learned while he was a kid. And, did he have any pony friends his age?

 

(9/10)

 

Looks: He looks like a pretty nice dragon, and he would fit in with the other dragons in the MLP universe quite well. However, I find it kinda strange that his wings can made a kinda-hoodie. That's not really realistic, and it would be quite hard to make the wings fold into a coat shape as it is. The idea is still pretty cool, though.

(9/10)

 

Reason why I didn't write that much 'cause your character is really well done. It almost seems like it's from or for a fan fiction or something xD.

Overall score: (9/10)

 

Emi

 

Cutie mark backstory: You didn't mention how exactly she got her cutie mark. What instruments does she play, and which ones is she best at? 

(8/10)

 

Special talent: Other than being able to channel and be good in instruments, is there anything else she can do?

(9/10) 

 

Personality: Awesome! I like it as well. You mentioned that she attracts stallions at times, it would be interesting to know how she acts around them. However, she sounds a little too bland, maybe you should add something to spice it up? 

(8/10)

 

Backstory: Hers and Colt's backstories are too similar, you should add some more things to make them different. How was she in school, did she make any friends, colt-friends and etc. Small details like that can make a difference. 

(8/10)

 

Looks: Gorgeous! Seriously, she is beautiful. I adore her coloring and design.

(8/10)

 

Overall score: (8/10)

Edited July 30, 2013 by LittleRawr

[squareyes 153]

My OC is in the description. Might as well get your opinion on her since we're part of the same Roleplay.

 

I'm kind of bored as well which is why I'm posting this.

[The Blades Shadow 444]

Can you do a review of my OC? (I mean, I kind of know what rating he's going to get already, but might as well ask)

Here's his profile: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/blazing-hoof-r4037

[Blue Moon 6,345]

It's always nice to see what others think of your OC, so here is my main OC, Blue Moon. Be as harsh as you need to be. Thanks in advance.

 

Link:

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/blue-moon-r2808

[Nomadic 210]

I would always like to get another opinion on my OC. The link to him is in my signature down below. Thanks in advance, and I appreciate you taking the to review members OC's. 

[LittleRawr 679]

@,

 

Special talent: Flying to a snow-capped mountain is not really a talent, it's an achievement. A special talent is supposed to be what he's good at, not something that he has done. Maybe his special talent is that he can fly in extreme cold weather? Or, being able to take on any challange that is given to him. In that case, I think that a shooting star would suit him.

(7/10) 

 

Personality: I do like the way that he thinks about his family. It's refreshing, to say the least. However, I think that you should expand on his personality more other than flirty and daring. 

(8/10)

 

Backstory: It's a nice backstory, but it mostly focuses on his family. You could try to expand a bit more on the non-family part. For example, your character could be attending university. Maybe a job if not uni. Is he still living in Cloudsdale? Any special somepony in his life? I know I said to expand on non-family stuff, but this one has been bugging me. How is his relationship with his mom?

(8/10)

 

Looks: Dayum, he looks fine! xD. Jokes aside, he does look nice. The beard's an awesome addition. I can see the family resemblance to Cloud Chaser as well. However, I've seen several pegasi with similar coloring, but I haven't seen one with amber/gold eyes before.

(9/10)

 

Overall score: (8/10)

 

 

@,

 

I'll keep that in mind :3

 

Y'know, I do think that this character would be better if he didn't live in Equestria. Maybe he came from another country where you need to get across an ocean to reach. This place would be similar to one of those in the old times, like the ones in fantasy books. The one with knights and stuff? 'Cause he really wouldn't fit in Equestria. That's just my opinion, no need to move him if you don't want to.

 

Special talent: That's... dark. Still, it's a bit more of an original take on the fire special talent. I like the cutie mark story as well.  

(8/10) 

 

Personality: I suggest that you give him some more original personality traits, but that's my only complaint.

(7/10)

 

Backstory: This got me a little confused. If he's a thief, isn't he a criminal? I think bounty-hunter would be better. Maybe he did steal when he was younger, but then found a job as a bounty hunter? There's still a way to make him a 'dark' hero, even without him being a thief. Maybe he kills every criminal he sees, even if they didn't deserve it.

(7/10)

 

Looks: The color scheme is very common, but I like the hat and the cape. Very nice.

(7/10)

 

You should also correct all the spelling and grammar mistakes. It makes it a little hard to read...

 

Overall score: (7.5/10)

Edited August 1, 2013 by LittleRawr

[RAGESTAR 479]

Thanks for your opinion, but just for the record, he was a thief as a kid in order to earn enough money to buy a ship and become a pirate, but he also did bounty hunting jobs from time to time to gain money when the thieving business was slow. Again though, thanks for your input and suggestions, I'm glad you gave him such a positive review. /)

[Colt 555]

Dear @@LittleRawr,

 

Firts of all thanks a lot for doing this and taking your time to share a thought about my OC's. They are a big part of my bronydomness and it feels very good others are willing to help me on their improvement.

 

Ok about your questions, Colt plays the bass with her sister and he loves to listen to music. If you would have to picture how he uses magic and his fighting you can have in your mind a little of The Last Air Bender universe, he is kind of like that. The way he was trained was harsh and painful it. For example to prove he had master water he had to stay for a very long period of time below the water in a "sphere" where he could breath. Things like that.

 

About Emi yes I didn't wrote how she got her CM, its kind of a very important slice of the story on both characters and normaly she wont reveal it. As she would only reveal it to those they can open up the story behind her CM its not part of her profile. About what she plays well, she is very good playing guitar, piano, violin and flute, she is also a very good singer. About her skills as the profile says she is a self taught botanist and had some experience with farm work.

 

About the other stuff and as you said with Colt yes they are part of a Fic and they are kind of siblings, adopted of course, that's why their stories are very similar. They are both from 1000 years in the past and lived a time that was very different from the perfect realm equestria is "now" so they didnt had much time to enjoy life as the mane 6 did.

 

Hope that answer some of your doubts once again thanks =D

[toby rogers 258]

hello i was wondering if you could rate/edit my golem oc, it is a clay golem held together with energy and the star on it's chest is the source it's power

[RiverHaze 27]

Hello, could you please rate my Oc?

 

It's the first complete review for her so tell me if you have any suggestions. They'll be welcome ^^

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/riverhaze-r4336

[Harmony Spark 265]

Can u rate my OC, Princess Harmony Spark? Her profile is in the link in the signature box . She's a princess of

 

She also has Asperger's syndrome, a huge gamer and is very bubbly. Thanks!